Confessions of a Queen and Her Knight
by myshadowspirit
Summary: Based on the theory that both Link and Zelda get reincarnated from game to game through their descendants. This story doesn't take place in any game in particular.
1. Chapter 1

_-Zelda_

There were many, _many_ rather annoying things that would happen everyday of my life. I knew it would never be easy, trying to run a country, being a woman, having to deal with arrogant, highly born rich men who thought they were of higher being than all others. All of them high on testosterone, ready to fight and argue their point against each other until their last whiskey-coated breath. Of course it was I that had to establish peace and order in these very important and boring council meetings, when all I wanted was to scream along with them and flip tables.

A queen mustn't flip tables.

Though I'm sure I would somehow find a way in which me flipping the table could look perfectly acceptable, and might even gain me some more respect, but such situations would have to wait. It had to be at the right time, the right place and with the right people. Not the high born men of the royal court who thought my main job was to look pretty and bear children. The latter, it seemed, I completely sucked at.

Day after day, I would be bombarded with questions on how my reproductive system was doing. I'd get the occasional and rather impaling remark of me already being with child, before being drowned in apologies and how it was only the way my dress happened to be falling. Then I would be attacked by hand maids fixing my skirts.

These were only the first of my annoyances. I would also have long nights without sleep, then long hours of worrying if I looked presentable, then pretending not to care. But I have grown accustomed to my annoyances. I wasn't just educated on how to read and do math, but also to deal with people. I could deal with any sort of person I had the misfortune to meet.

Every person, except one.

When I first met Link in this life – it's been apparent that I've dealt with the hero in may different lives – he appeared rather shy and quiet. He'd walk into a room and look at everything, as if he had never seen any of the objects in the room before. He'd keep his eyes wandering as you talked to him, and it always seemed like he was never paying attention to whomever he was speaking with, but giving a question, Link would answer with full eye contact. I've talked to many people who were afraid of eye contact. They'd keep their focus to some other part of the body: my nose, my mouth, often my chest, but Link always gave me direct eye contact. For some reason I found it slightly uncomfortable, like he could look right into me and read every thought and feeling I'd ever had in my life.

Silly, I know.

Of course, this wasn't the reason why I couldn't stand dealing with him. He hadn't done anything bothersome, though as I began to know him better, he developed a slight cockiness. I didn't know if it was all that fame going to his head or not, but instead of giving me that blank stare he used to, he now slipped me a crooked grin, as if he _had_ just read my thoughts, which sends me back to my earlier paranoia.

Link never really fit into palace life. He talked slower and quieter, and sometimes I just wanted to shake him to get the entire sentence out. He slouched all the time, and when he sat he had his legs either stretched out or wide open. Sure, many men do this, and I've learned to ignore it, but sometimes Link would waltz right in after some adventure or another, covered in sweat and blood and tattered clothes, scaring the hell out of me, thinking he must be dying, because for what other reason would he not stop to change before paying me a visit? I spent hours a day making myself ready for society and he never gave two shits.

Not that he had to. Everyone liked him. Sometimes I would catch him telling jokes or stories to the other men at court, and they'd go laughing and hollowing as if what they just heard was the best thing ever. Obviously whatever it was, it was more interesting than what I had to say.

We used to be friends. Good friends actually. To the point where Link would hardly talk to anyone else. Of course, now I was too busy doing important things to talk about silly stories, and Link was too busy trying to get himself killed unnecessarily on his stupid adventures.

Nonetheless, it still irked me. There was no excuse for distracting my men when I was trying to give a serious speech, so I caught up to Link one day as he was about to leave the court. I was able to escape my entourage, moving as fast as my shoes would allow without looking like I was running.

"Sir Link!"

He froze, turning around like he was terrified of my presence. I didn't understand it really. Sometimes Link would seem like he was completely at ease with the biggest political diplomatic assholes in the world, but when I wanted to talk to him, he was as scared as a stray cat.

"Your... Highness..." He always seemed unsure on what to call me. He used to call me Zelda, but of course, now that would be inappropriate.

"What was it you were saying to the Mayer of Kakariko?"

"To what...?" he asked, giving me a deer-caught-in-a-forest kind of look

"That story that made him almost choke himself, remember?"

"Oh, that, well, um," Link scratched his head through his hat. "I don't really remember. Something about what happened last time when I was looking for that artifact that you wanted me to find."

"The Lens of Truth... What happened on that adventure?"

Link shrugged. "Found the thing."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "So it's all right to tell everybody else on what goes on in your life, with great hilarious detail, but not me! I only rule the country. I'm not allowed to know how it gets rescued!"

"They're not important details."

"What sort of details are they? Obviously I'm not meant to hear them. Are these details things that only other men would appreciate? Are they about exotic whore houses, where men from all over the place can come and get high and drunk and laid!?"

"No, Zelda... I mean, Your Highness." I wish he hadn't corrected himself. For a moment I forgot when and where we were. "They're just things that happen to me that I figured you shouldn't hear about."

"Like what things? Why shouldn't I hear about them?"

"You'll just worry. I don't want you to worry."

"Why would I worry?"

"Because you worry about everything!" He hadn't said it very loud, but much louder than Link's normal voice. "You worry about every little thing in the world, so much so that I'm afraid you're going to keel over any second now with stress."

"I'm not that much of a basket case," I said, trying to defend myself. "I'm sure I can handle any sort of news you give to me."

"You almost had a heart attack when you saw me all cut up after looking for the sword."

"Well... you were seriously injured then."

"I'm seriously injured a lot. Compared to other things I've been through, that incident was like getting a paper cut. It's just... you shouldn't worry about anything that's got to do with me. I've got it."

I stared at him hard. I was slightly peeved that I wasn't allowed to know the details of Link's life. I wanted to know every single thing about him, every accident he had, every small or big success, every feeling he felt, every word he thought, just everything. Of course, Link's life, to that detail, was none of my business, and even though most things were my business, Link's personal life was not.

"Okay, fine."

Link looked at me, his hands in his pockets as he leaned on one foot.

"Just keep secrets from me. I'm fine with that."

He laughed. "I'm not keeping secrets from you."

"Well whatever you want to say you're doing."

He was looking at me, a sort of mirth in his eyes, just a hint of affection that I was not sure if he showed to anyone else. "Queen Zelda," He bowed to me, getting on his knees. Usually I hated seeing Link do this kind of stuff to me, but being in the middle of the hallway, with no one else around, it was almost comical and I had to hide my smile. "What is it that you'd like to know of me? I'll tell you anything you want to know."

Now, of course, I didn't know what I wanted to ask.

I laughed, and extended one of my hands. "Get up!"

He looked up to stare at my hand for a moment, unsure if he should actually grab the Queen's hand to help himself off the floor. He eventually did, and I pulled him up.

Once standing though, Link failed to let go of my hand. I looked at his face, but he was too busy staring at our hands. "We should probably get back to doing whatever we're supposed to be doing." I wasn't sure what Link had planned to do today, but I couldn't think of anything I was supposed to be doing right now. Well, nothing that was so important that I wanted Link to let go of my hand.

He brought my hand to his lips to give it a courteous kiss, and like always, the contact was too long, always long enough that the warmth of Link's breath would go through the fabric of my glove and into my skin.

He let go of my hand. "See you later, Your Majesty," and he turned and left.

I turned around sharply too, trying to think of something that wouldn't let me think about the heaviness in my heart. The real reason why I hated dealing with Link was because of these feelings, the hot flash shooting through my entire body that I seemed to convince myself would stop happening next time I saw him.

I would be relieved whenever Link left the town. Then I could concentrate on my country, on my husband, on my important things, but of course when he was gone, I would be sick with worry and unable to concentrate on anything.

That's why Link was the worst of all the annoyances in my life.

_Beta: Illusore_


	2. Chapter 2

_-Link_

There's a theory that before we're born, we have all the knowledge and skills we'll ever have, but during birth we forget them all, and during our life we must relearn everything. I didn't know if other people felt this way, but I certainly did. Being reincarnated over and over again, it was my entire existence. I guess there was some perks in being thousands of years old. Things are easy to you when you've done them for so long. If someone told me the reason why I was so good at riding was because I had done it for thousands of years, I'd think they were crazy. I was just good at riding. I didn't think I'd be good at much many other things. I never thought I'd have the patients for fishing, never thought I'd be able to shoot an arrow straight and damn never believed I could even hold a sword upright.

But I could. I could do all those things. I seemed to have become quite good at a bunch of numerous things that I wouldn't have guessed. There was this game where you roll a little ball around a maze, called "Roll Goal". It had like a million levels, but apparently I was amazingly good at all of them.

By looking at me, I don't think it was apparent that I was this so called master of all trades. I was pretty good at puzzles and problem solving. I knew how to think, but I must have given off this impression that I was a dip shit. Maybe it was the blond hair. I wondered if my past selves had blond hair. Or maybe it was just something in my face, but I tended to draw in a crowd that liked to pick on the slow, new guy. They didn't mean any harm. It was all in good fun, and eventually when it became apparent that I was a whole lot smarter than I looked, I was their new best friend.

For example there was this one guy that challenged me in this bombchu contest. What he didn't know was that I was a boss at all things explosive related and I beat his ass in a bet. Got twenty rupees and a friend for a life.

One thing, that apparently my past lives had never learned to master, was talking to women. It's probably the most suckest skill I have. I mean women, not girls. I could handle girls to an extant. Girls were pretty easy to amuse, but I couldn't always keep myself amused with them. Women were interesting, sure, but they always acted like you were out to get them. They had this thing set into their mind that all men want is sex, and that was all we thought about. I thought about a lot of other things, not that they cared to know. They probably just saw me as a blond dip shit like everyone else did, but the women were not as easily impressed as the men were. In fact, my skills of being generally awesome at everything seemed to piss them off.

Not that is really mattered. I was not a huge ladies man, like everyone seemed to believe. Actually, I'd be happy without any woman in my life. Just a horse and maybe either a dog or a bird would do. They were a whole lot less crazy than any woman. But of course there was that whole problem of making sure my descendants were alive so I could be reborn again and be this country's hero. It puts some pressure on me in finding a good wife to have children with. I must have done it before. If I hadn't reproduced in my past lives, I wouldn't be alive today. Still, you'd think it would be a little easier for me.  
Speaking of crazy women, there was one made especially to drive me insane. I think when the Goddesses decided to come up with the whole idea of having a hero, they realized, 'Hey, some guy isn't going to want to do all this shit for eternity. We need some really crazy shit head that'll be willing to do it!" Then they made me and said, "What's the best way to keep him crazy? We don't want him suddenly turning sane and quit." And then they created Zelda.

Zelda was the worst of them all. I knew I probably should be calling her Queen Zelda, but it didn't sound right in my mouth. I was so used to calling her Princess Zelda, so she was just gonna be Zelda for now. With Zelda, like any other crazy woman, had this habit of repeatedly trying to tell me what to do, what not to do, how to do it and how not do something. She was a bit of a control freak. Don't get me wrong, she was cute. It was just for someone that was probably the most practical person that I knew, her worrying and over reacting to things was so not practical. She once freaked out because one of the guards, (there was about one every half a foot that line the walls over the entire god damn castle) was missing. She was so sure that someone was trying to sneak in as a guard, that she was riling everyone up to check on identities. The guy was only taking a piss and he forgot to tell someone.

She meant well I know and maybe, her overreacting would actually catch something that we all missed. You never know.

Zelda was smart. She had to be. She was just as old as me.

It wasn't like Zelda and me remembered every little detail of our past lives, but as time went by, memories came back to us. I didn't remember Zelda when I first met her, but I think there must have been something in the back of my mind that did. I wasn't a whole big believer of love at first sight, but when I saw Zelda, I thought I did believe it. It was probably some vague familiarity about her that I clung to. Zelda reminded me of a home that I never had. I never belonged anywhere, not really. I didn't know my current family, and it turned out I hardly ever did. But when I saw Zelda, I thought I saw my home that didn't exist. All these unexplained feelings sort of translated to infatuation, and all I could really tell at the moment was that I liked what I saw. Didn't help that she was pretty to look at. Just confused me more really. But what was I suppose to do back then? I was just a kid.

As memories came back to me, I knew that we were, and always would be, more than just friends. Some of these memories were really dear to me, and some were filled with a lot of pain and guilt. I tried not to think about my relationship with her in our past lives, because I knew I'd just wind up hurting myself over something that happened life times ago. Though I hated these memories, pushing them in the back of my mind and willing them not to exist, I wished they had come to me sooner. Being a teenager with all my raging hormones, there was a bunch of things I shouldn't have said, shouldn't have done. If I had snipped in the bud, it wouldn't have drag out like this.

If you asked me if I loved her now, and I could have been honest about it, I would have to say yes. But it was something that I didn't want to complicate her life with. Complications was something neither of us needed right now.

Sometimes I liked to just blame it all on her. It was pretty easy. She was the one that kissed me first, but I could have easily ignored it as if it didn't happen. I didn't have to push it further like I did.

But all that was in the past, and once I died, it would just be another one of those memories in the back my head that I tried to ignore.

One thing about getting resurrected so often is that you grow old faster. As things start to come back to you, you have the baggage of about a hundred other life times. It makes you wiser, sure, but the mind gets old. I guess it was just as well. In my profession, living a long life wasn't an option. My record age so far was thirty seven. I had died in so many gruesome and heroic ways. Many of them were in the history books, about how I sacrificed for some greater good, but there are some that I remembered that it didn't quite end like that. I never outright killed myself before, but there were times when I could have avoided death and didn't. I didn't think Zelda knew any of this. Usually by the time I start feeling old, years have gone by since any letters in between us had been sent. I was sure news of my death must have carried to her eventually, but I was glad she wasn't around whenever it happened. Though, now that I was twenty eight, my life span expectancy closer than ten years, and me still hanging around, I was a little worried on what may happen.

I didn't know how long Zelda's lives usually lasted. I assumed for a long time. Zelda was way too smart to get herself killed in stupid ways, and without me around stressing her out all the time, she should have been pretty happy.

Yet, for some reason, I was still hanging around, stressing her out.


	3. Chapter 3

_-Zelda_

One of the worst traditions that has ever been legalized in the entire history of Hyrule was the act of courtship. Courtship, was basically dating while you were already betrothed or married to someone else without the hope of being with the person you actually wanted to be with. Sounds pointless because it was. It was true that I didn't have to most romantic relationship with my husband. I mean, sometimes he seemed to be terrified of female parts and would much rather go out hunting than take time out of his day to make me happy. He wasn't the type of guy to send flowers or say "I love you", but that was just fine. He was a good man, treated me kindly and gave me plenty of time to myself. It was livable.

But apparently, other people in this position decided that wasn't enough. Or someone decided it. And to fulfill the void of romantic neglect, they decided that knights or other noble men, would shower the untouchable woman with love and attention. They would do all sorts of silly things to grab her attention and win her affections over the other. The queen's affections would turn into the greatest prize in Hyrule. But all this nonsense would never lead to a reward of any sort of physical pleasure.

I had always wondered why any man would even agree to pursued a woman that they could never actually win over to their bed. The reason is because in most cases, they somehow do.

But this doesn't make any sense. The woman is a respectable noble, she has a husband. Why would she do something so ridiculous? Because all this ridiculous courting gets to people. It doesn't matter how wrong or against the law it is, or how the blame is sure to fall on _her_ even with her higher status, it happens.

Of course, we can all assume that I would never be in this position. The royal heir, the practical and hard ass bitch that never did anything wrong or knew what the meaning of the word fun was. I didn't do this bull shit.

So you must imagine how appalled I was when my own husband (though he was my fiance at the time) suggested that the Hero should court me. It would help my nerves, he had said. If he could think about anything beyond what type of silverware that was on the table, maybe his nerves would be a little more worked up, too.

It was all publicity, really. People like to see the hero get the princess. They liked the image of him leading me into rooms, my arm on top of his. He was nervous and shy, yet moved surly. At least he wasn't like some of the other men out there that had tried to win my affections, and eventually, Link and I had become good friends. He was always a good listener.

The problem though, I didn't think Link really understood what courtship meant. He was deathly scared around me in public, always afraid he would do something offensive, but when we were alone, he treated me just like he would treat any other girl, talking me through my worries, teasing me about my overreacting. Away from town, things were much less busy, more peaceful, and I did enjoy the time I spent with him. But I knew what would happen. I had known it from the start, even though I tried to tell myself I could just ignore it. I couldn't, because I had wanted it. I wanted Link to fall in love with me.

He'd see what other courtiers would do, and always outdo them. If I was sent flowers, he was sure to find bigger and more rare flowers to send me. I think he sort of saw it as a game at first. Link was always very competitive. But soon our relationship stopped being the game that the people had wanted. It had become stronger as our bound grew and we started remembering again.

I remembered the big things first. Ganon, the fighting, what we had to do to protect the country, but Link would remember odd things first. The fact that life times ago, I had told him to meet someplace for lunch, and he had overslept and he felt like he still had to apologies to me even though now we were different people. I guess we weren't different people entirely, but we were different.

I had always known that Link and me wouldn't have a happy ending together. I was a princess and engaged after all, but somehow, Link seemed to forget that. It was some what of a shock to him when I got married, but even then, Link said he was determined. I wasn't sure what he meant by that, though I could probably guess.

It wasn't until the truth of how important it was for Link to get married that it suddenly hit him. The memories of our past lives, with past wives and husbands, finally made Link understand. We weren't going to be together. We never were. The whole courtship tradition screwed with both of our minds I have to say. It blinded us from something that should have been so obvious.

Really, that tradition should be illegal.


	4. Chapter 4

_-Link_

It kinda bugged me when people went on about how great I was. I knew they were trying to compliment me, thank me, but I really wasn't all that great. I was sure if anyone else had been reincarnated as many times as I had, they'd be able to do all the things that I'd done. There were probably dozens of people that would appreciate the job more as well.

I've heard some people say that it was impossible for me to be angry or hate anyone. I almost laughed because I felt like I was angry all the time. I was cursing everything in my mind that I had to deal with. I hated moblins, I hated keese, I hated getting my ass kicked, I hated screwing up, I hated it when Epona lost a shoe, I hated being cold, I hated being hot, I hated being alone, I hated a lot of things. I was not around people a lot so I guessed they just didn't realize how much I actually hated the world.

I guessed I didn't hate the world. Not really. There were a lot of beautiful things in this world, and I had been lucky enough to experience some of them. It was just that I did have my down days. It wasn't like they didn't happen.

I've had every bone in my body broken at least once. I had almost died from infections that I was too stubborn to treat. I once had to battle the head monster boss at a temple while I had the flu. I couldn't just stop until I was healthy again. It was a convenience that I didn't have and sometimes that made me cranky.

There were times when I wasn't just angry, but scared out of my wits. That was right, the Triforce carrier of Courage had peed his pants and hid in a corner to cry his eyes out a few times. It happened more in the beginning when I was still unsure if all these tall tales I had been told were true or not, but sometimes, even with all my memories, I wasn't so sure I could pull this off. Every once in a while, I thought this was it, I was going to fail, but somehow, I got back up again. I tricked my mind into thinking I could do it, and when I got back, I'd see Zelda.

That's what I had told myself anyway. Sometimes it was different, but most of the shit I went through, I did it for her ass. I seriously thought if I were alone in this, if I was the only one that was reincarnated all the time, I'd eventually quit. Let someone else deal with saving the world.

But I knew if Zelda ever heard me say that she'd flip shit and eventually pass out, wake up, kick my ass, and then flip some more shit. She actually had kicked my ass before. I knew she knew how to fight. Sometimes she forgot, but she had some serious training in one of those lives of hers.

I had a picture of her with me. I didn't quite catch her in a smile. She was just looking up from doing something, and seeing me, the expression of questioning worry was already on her face. She got pissed later when she realized I had taken the picture, but I was able to keep it from her. When things were looking pretty bad for me, I liked to look at it. With that worried look of hers, I always felt like I have to reassure the picture that I was alright, and in order to do that, I made myself alright. I had to for her. It saved my ass a few times.

I kept up the pretense that this shit was easy. I did it so it didn't worry Zelda, but sometimes it seemed to piss her off that I wasn't worried at all. Like me worrying is going to be helpful. It was stupid really, so I acted even more cocky and she got even more mad. I didn't even think she realized that I was doing it on purpose to tease her, which just made it even better.


	5. Chapter 5

_-Zelda_

I had a fantasy of taking the very old heirloom, a fine silver sword, off the wall, slaying everyone in the room, and then killing Link. Yes, I would kill him last.

He wasn't looking at me. No, his eyes were wandering around the room as usual, hands in his pockets, perfectly at ease with everything.

"What did you say her name was?" My dear husband inquired. Link hadn't said what her name was.

"Uh, what? Oh, Mary."

Mary. Such a mundane name. She must be a mundane person. A simple girl with a simple life. Of course Link would want something simple.

"Mary, what a beautiful name!" my husband went on. No one was really paying attention to me. It was just as well. My face must have shown how I was feeling about the situation. "We were worried that you would never find a girl! We should celebrate! We should invite the both of you to a dinner."

"Yes, we were worried," I said. Link turned his nervous gaze at me. He didn't hesitate to look after I spoke. I almost wish he had. Wished he was a little more uncomfortable. I gave him my best face. The one I saved for unruly nobles who needed some more, firm persuasion. I wasn't trying to persuade Link into doing anything really, but it was the only face I could put on in time to meet his gaze. I saw Link's just as well practiced face falter. I was winning.

"Well, I mean I don't want to be a bother," he rambled. "and I'd have to ask her first. She might ... she might be nervous to eat dinner with the royals. And she might be busy... with the animals and sort."

Link was rambling, coming out in mumbles that I wasn't even sure if anyone else could hear every word.

"Nonsense!" my husband said. Apparently he had heard the just of it. "Two evenings from now, she must come! She'll love it, I'm sure. What is it that she likes to eat?"

"Um, anything really."

"We look forward to it," I said, giving him my best smile.

The right side of Link's lips twitched, but didn't quite make a smile so he nodded his head instead. "See you guys in two nights then."

* * *

I was a raving mess the two days before the dinner. I drank too much wine, I laughed at everything even though it wasn't funny. I redid things over and over again.

On the night of the dinner, I wore a very elaborate dress with a plunging neck line. It was very expensive and over the top for the occasion, but I didn't care. I had wanted to make the peasant girl jealous. I had my hair done in a complicated way and wore Link's favorite perfume.

I was ready to face this hellish night. I kept talking. I did that when I was nervous.

"Did you hear? The hero has a finance! Can you believe it? I can't believe it. I mean really, he's always been so shy around girls. I wonder what she's like. She must be nice. I mean, the hero could probably have any girl, so she must be a good girl. I wonder what she does."

And I would ramble to my maids, my body guard, my husband, sometimes to no one really. I was relieved when I sat down at the table and could have my wine. It quieted me for a while.

Link came on time. He always did.

He led a small pale girl, with flaming red hair. She was terrified, I could tell. Her dress looked brand new and she moved awkwardly in it. Her grip on Link could break arms and she stared straight ahead with wide blue eyes.

Link leaned over to her ear, whispering to her. I didn't know what he said, but it seemed to comfort her. Even after she had visibly relaxed, Link kept his mouth to her ear, wearing a smile as his lips brushed against her skin.

I took another drink.

"Welcome, welcome, dear Mary!" My husband started to talk. He wasn't the best speaker, but at the moment, he was way better than I.

"I've never been in a palace before! This is such an honor. I never thought anything like this would happen to little ol me." The girl laughed. I decided I didn't like her.

"So how did you meet our hero?" my husband asked. Link didn't seem like he was all too hungry, staring at his food, his arm up against the girl. I was busy cutting my food into tiny little pieces.

When it didn't look like Link was going to answer the question, Mary answered it. "Oh well, I found him wondering around town looking for grain for his horse. He was pretty spacy," she laughed. "I just happened to have some grain on me and I'm always ready to make a rupee or two, so I was like why not? Then I got the guy to buy some milk from me as well, and before I knew it, I had a regular customer!"

I bet... I thought as I chewed on my meat thoroughly.

"I'm so glad I can finally meet you Queen Zelda. Link talks about you all the time. He says you're his most trusted friend."

I swallowed my meat. "That's funny. I don't think he's ever mentioned you to me before." Link gave me a look of horror. "I mean, I hadn't known that Link had found a finance, had you darling?" I asked my husband.

"Oh no not since two days ago."

"Yes, two days ago. We were both much surprised."

"Yes very surprised."

Link rolled his eyes. I might have been more interested in his annoyance if I cared. Why should I care? She was Link's finance, not mine. I didn't have to like her.

"Well Link and me have just been good friends for a while. Years went by before anything romantic actually happened!"

Years. Link had known this girl for years and never told me.

As the conversation went on awkwardly, time moved slowly. Link had taken Mary's hand and was rubbing it with his thumb, trying to keep himself calmed down I imagined.

"Well actually I had to borrow this dress. You see I don't have many dresses that are cleaned or not ripped. They get in pretty bad shape when working with the animals, manure and all."

"Manure, I see. You know I hear that's the latest fashion these days."

Mary laughed. "Oh that's funny."

"Yes. So are you planning on marring the Hero in one of those dresses?"

"Oh no, I hope to get something else finished before then."

"You make your own clothes? Oh well that's sweet. Good skills to know. With all the clothes that Link rips up all the time, I'm sure you'll be very busy."

"I never mind being busy."

"Oh that's great to hear. You'll be very busy I'll imagine. Which is just as well. With Link out on his adventures all the time, you'll have lots of spare time to kill by being busy."

Mary didn't seem to have a reply to that. Link looked like he was trying to kill himself by holding his breath and staring intently at Mary's fingernails.

"Yes, I do suppose being the wife of the Hero is hard, you know with the life style he has. Do you think you're prepared for such a life?"

"Your Majesty, my middle _name_ is hard!" It appeared that Mary was starting to realize I didn't like her. Link was squeezing her hand. I suspected they weren't going to stay much longer. I was glad. The sooner they left the sooner I could go cry myself to sleep.

"That's great to hear!" The king announced, breaking the tension I had caused. "I see we have two hard working people at the table. That's just a sign that they were meant to be together!"

"I need to use the restroom," I said. I had no idea how many glasses of wine I had consumed in the last two hours. "ANNABELL!" That had come out too loud. The maid came hurried. "I'm going to the restroom!" I sang, and she followed me to help me with my skirts.

* * *

When we were coming back, just before we entered the dinning room, Link intercepted us. He was glaring at me, but I was much too drunk to care.

"What the hell is your problem?" he whispered to me. He had made sure to be quiet enough so that the maid didn't hear him swear. Oh how polite of him.

"Annabell, a word alone with the Hero?" She scurried away into the dinning room, probably relieved to rid of me for a moment. "I do not have any sort of problem. Is there a problem for you, Sir Link?"

He glared at me. "You're drunk," he said.

"Well, it's a party isn't? We should be celebrating! The Hero has finally found some whore to fertilize!" I practically shouted it, and I could see both Mary and my husband at the table from the entry way. Link hastily pushed me away from view.

"Okay, I understand you're mad, but why do you have to take it out on her?!"

"Who?"

"Mary!"

"Oh right, the whore."

"Is there a problem my sweet?" My husband had reached us in the hallway. How kind of him to realize I was upset and come all this way to comfort me.

"Oh darling, I believe not. I don't have a care in the world!"

Both men recognized how upset and drunk I was, and both looked unsure on how to tackle the situation.

"Have you had too much to drink, my darling?"

"Oh maybe a tad!"

"We were just talking about that, actually," Link grumbled.

"Oh good, so you're talking to her about it. Thank the goddesses Sir Link! Much appreciated!" And with that he turned back to the dinning room. My husband was such a man.

Link let out a sigh before he faced me. "You can't treat her the way you're treating her," he finally say.

"Who?"

"Mary, dammit, Zelda." He called me Zelda. It made me feel guiltily happy.

"Yes, Mary. She's pretty isn't she?"

"Yes, she's pretty," Link replied angrily, the glare in his eyes would have scared me if I wasn't so numb at the moment.

"You've known her for years, she said?"

"Yes."

"Years. I didn't know you knew her for years."

"I'm sorry I don't tell you the names and lives of every person I met on the planet."

"But she's not just some ordinary person is she? I mean you plan to marry her. She must mean a little more to you, unless of course you just decided to pick randomly from all the women you know inside you head."

"You're right, Zelda!" And this time, him calling me Zelda didn't make me feel any better. "She is special to me. I like her a lot! In fact, I think I could fall in love with her!"

I stared off into space. "I suppose... that's good." My voice was very quiet.

Link let out an exasperated sigh. "What do you what from me?! Everybody has been telling me I have to get married,_ especially_ you, but then you have to act like this! I'm trying Zelda. I'm trying."

I could feel tears start to well up in my eyes, threatening to spill out over my eyeliner and mascara. Why was I acting like this? I knew this would have to happen. In fact, I was more comfortable with the idea than Link was, but now that it was happening... How did I deal with it when it had happened in our past lives.

"I... I didn't have to meet her. You didn't have to tell me."

"You wanted me to get married without telling you? How would that have made it better?"

It wouldn't have. I mean Link had stuck with me after I had gotten married. He had to sit through the ceremony. I wonder how he had felt having to sit there. What did I expect from him? Just to not be with any other woman until I was dead? He had to be with someone. He had to continue the line. If he didn't the world would fall. I would never see him again, ever.

But I couldn't see him now. Not right now. Not while he was promised to that Mary girl. He should have the right to fall in love with her. Falling in love with me over and over only hurt him. If only I could get him to never fall for me again. Then I could get rid of him. It would be so easy if that was the case.

I was being stupid. Stupid and drunk. Link wasn't mine. He never was and never would be. I had many more important things to be worrying about.

"I want you to go back to Mary. Fall in love with her. I hope you have a nice life with her."


	6. Chapter 6

_Link_

"What's that suppose to mean? Have a nice life?" I was angry. I had just sat through the most awkward dinner of all my lives and now Zelda was telling me to have a nice life. A _nice_ life. What did that even mean? What was a nice life? A normal life doing normal things? I supposed that such a thing would be nice to a normal person. I was way too fucked up to be normal. I tried. I tried to make it nice. But I don't think I even understood the concept of the word. What was nice? Having Zelda tell me to love another woman, tell me to not see her again. Oh yes. That was always nice. I loved experiencing that over and over again. "Is this it then? Am I banned from the castle? Are we just not going to see each other anymore?" Of course we weren't. It was going to happen sometime and it was happening now.

She had a hand over her mouth and refused to give eye contact to me. I could see the tears in the corners of her eyes and it started to put me in a panic. I wasn't ready for this yet. I should have been ready. I was engaged. But I wasn't.

"Link," she cried. "You have to leave," and she starting to sob into her hand. I was defiantly not leaving her like this. Not when she didn't even have the strength to push me away. I couldn't make it that easy for her.

The guards along the wall were now looking at the two of us suspiciously. Well, looking at _me_ suspiciously. I smiled at them, before taking Zelda's hand and leading her away. There were already enough people reading into our relationship. I didn't want them to hear us. Though leading her away the way I did probably looked no better. I was just being courteous. A man should never let a woman cry by herself.

I found a broom closet, and seeing as it was most likely the only room in the whole place that we could have any sort of privacy, I pulled her in with me and turned on the light. Ha, yea I was just being polite. Not suspicious one bit, but I wanted to be alone with her. I needed to be alone with her just one more time.


	7. Chapter 7

_-Zelda_

"We're in a broom closet."

"Yea. We're going to stay here until you become more presentable."

I fell against the wall and slid down to drown into my skirts, laughing and sobbing into my hands.

"Which could take awhile..." I heard him mumble.

Good. I wanted it to take awhile. I wanted to selfishly stay in this closet with this hero that wasn't mine. I had just made a huge fool of myself. The queen, the queen of all people getting jealous like this.

"Shhh," Link murmured. "If you keep crying like that, you're going to dry up." Of course, Link's kindness and how nice he was being after I had insulted his fiance just made me cry harder. He slid against the wall as well so that he was squatting in front of me. I stared at a spot on his tunic. It was a green one. He tended to where green ones when he came to the castle, because sometimes the guards wouldn't recognize him without it and kept him from coming in. "Now let's just calm down for a minute. This isn't the end of the world. We've been through way worse things than this."

I laughed. "Like you can compare." Fighting evil wasn't anything like this.

We sat in silence. I enjoyed his presence. His knees pressed into my skirts. I shouldn't be in this closet with him. He should be with Mary. My poor husband was entertaining her alone. "I'm sorry," I admitted.

He gave me that grin of his. "It's cool."

"No it's not. I didn't have any right. You should be happy."

"I... I am happy."

I pulled my gaze away from his chest to look at his face. "Well good. You should be happy with her."

"I didn't... I didn't mean it like that..." He wasn't making eye contact with me when he talked. How unusual.

And then I realized why. He had that look in his eyes and he was trying his hardest not to catch me under it. I've had seen that look many times, and I knew what it meant.

The greatest secret that Link and I shared, ten years ago, the night before I was to be married, I had snuck Link into my room. We were young and stupid. I was angry that I had been talked into this whole courtship business, angry at my finance, and angry at myself for letting me fall in love.

I had let Link take my virginity before my soon to be husband. It was before we had realize how dangerous it was to our fates if I had gotten pregnant. Though of course we knew how dangerous it would have been on just the fact that I was a princess. We hadn't really cared about that, though. Who was going to know? Link had told me he was okay with that, if that's all our relationship could be, all secrets.

But if our descendant line were to merge, there would no longer be two vessels for both Triforce carriers, and it would upset the balance of the three Triforces. All very important and dangerous details that the royal mage had forgotten to tell us. After the mage had found out, the rule was too keep at least an arm's length from each other.

That rule had never really been followed, but there were no more of these incidents. It was when we started to distance ourselves, and get busy with our own lives. It was our destinies.

But here I go, screwing it all up and getting upset that Link was finally getting married.

And now I was stuck in a closet with him...


	8. Chapter 8

_-Link_

Zelda could be so cold, hard as stone. I guessed she needed to be. But sometimes I felt like she was killing me. She was the one that got married first. She was the untouchable one.

But I was touchable. She could have me if she wanted. I would do anything she asked, she could have had me anyway, if only she had asked. Fuck the world. Fuck the Goddesses. If she had asked me to, I would have stolen her from this place, and took her somewhere that no one could reach us. She could have been mine and no one else's.

I thought she had known that. How many times had I bled for her? How many times did I stay by her side when she was alone? I was always there for her. I'd done everything for her.

I had told her that I loved her. I figured she'd just believe me.

Now though, I though she felt like I didn't anymore. Obviously all these actions hadn't been enough to make her believe. I knew I was getting married, but I had thought everything else would counter balance that.

"Zelda..." I couldn't think of the right words to say to make her understand. What more could I have told her? "Just because... because I have to marry Mary, doesn't mean things change between us."

"Do they ever?" Zelda sighed. I still didn't think she got it. She didn't seem to understand that I was alive for her, not the goddesses, _her_.

I placed my forehead against hers and I could hear her breathing stop. Her forehead was warm and smooth and I had an urge to touch her face. I had that urge a lot. I always wanted to feel her perfect skin with my dirty, calloused hands.

I was already doing it, wiping her black tears off her perfect white cheek. The queen in her should tell me to stop. I was about to do something stupid. I was too close to her.

But her eyes were already locked on mine, mirroring the desire I was feeling. She wasn't going to stop me. I was going to take my chance.

I leaned in as close as her stupid dress would allow me. Then I kissed her. It had been years since I had, and the memory or what it was like had slowly faded away. I had forgotten how soft her lips where.

She should have slapped me. Said sometime to stop me. If anyone opened the closet door about now, I was pretty sure that I would be in prison for the rest of my life. But instead her hands came to my head, her fingers digging into my hair as she pulled me closer to her, knocking off my hat. And with that she killed all rational thought.

I kissed her deeply, pushing her against the wall so hard as if I could faze through her. She let out a noise in surprise. I wanted her to make it again. My hands searched for her body through the thick folds of her dress, the body that was meant to be mine all along.

The dress was annoying. It prevented me from being closer to her. I wanted to take it off, but my brain couldn't even began to work out on how, and I knew if I did somehow manage it, there would be no way of getting it back on. So I would have to deal with what I could. I laid my lips all over the exposed skin of her chest. Her heart was beating so fast. It was causing her milky white skin to flush pink. I was afraid it was going to beat out of her chest. I tried to still it with my mouth, but her heart refused to calm down. Her fingernails were dragging across my hair and clothes and before I knew it, I had my arms underneath her and lifted her up against the wall, her dress finally letting me press against her.

Mary could wait just a moment longer.


	9. Chapter 9

_-Zelda_

My sex life had always been about as boring as dirt. Always. I've had numerous husbands in the history of my existence and I've been lucky enough that all had been very kind to me. A few of them have been gay, and a few of them have been a little weird. There were even a couple who I liked very much and may have even cared for a little.

But sex had always been somewhat of a chore for me. I was always happy when it was over with, and once I was with child, I'd make sure that my sexual dealings with my husbands where at an end. He never really seemed to mind at that point. Probably because he was tired of dealing with it too. Some of my resentment to the subject is my own fault. Every time I find myself on a wedding night, I prolong the inevitable as long as possible.

"Oh not tonight, Dear, I'm too tired!"

"I have a headache, let me sleep."

"Oh, looks like I have my period..."

These silly excuses were for Link usually. I would have the biggest crush on him when I was at that age, not that we even saw each other anymore at those times and he had probably forgotten all about me, but I'd like the romantic idea that I was staying true to him. I'd grow out of that idea pretty fast. I wasn't one to go all day dreamy, especially now that I was becoming an adult.

But I still did not look forward to sex and eventually, my husbands would realize that I had no desire for them whatsoever, and the fact would have them loose their desire for me. They would get over it rather fast though and soon have a bunch of their own mistresses. Not that I cared so much. With them busy and out of the way, I could run my country without them interfering. It was my country after all.

I had never missed sex and never thought that I would ever want it.

But then that bastard had to show up and ruin all my happiness. It was like I had been living off of bread for an eternity, and was now being shoved in the face with a huge chocolate cake. A chocolate cake that I was told I couldn't have because I was on a diet. A chocolate cake that was already in my mouth, moving his tongue over mine, his hands somehow managing to find their way under my dress and were now rubbing against the bare skin of my thigh.

Damn him.

Did he understand what he was doing to me? Link always had his freedom. He had all his adventures. I was sure he had met hundreds of women in his existence, had hundreds of experiences. But I, I had always been stuck in a goddess forsaken castle, wasting away doing my 'important things'. Doing these 'important things', not once did I considered risking the balance of the world just to give into a bodily craving. Not after that one night with him. Not after I knew how dangerous it was. Not when I knew that it was my responsibility to keep order to everything, to make sure that the world kept functioning, making sure that my people would be happy and safe.

But in the broom closet, I wasn't concerned about my people. I wasn't concerned about anyone. I was only frustrated that Link's clothes was concealing his body from me, and no matter how much I tore at it with my fingers, the fabric, held on by annoying belts and straps, wouldn't come off.

Oh sweet Nayru, I was drunk.

I shouldn't be in love with this man. I wasn't. Link was my dearest friend. We had known each other since the beginning. We were as close as family members. He was the only other one that knew what it was like to be reincarnated over and over again. The only other one that had faced all of the darkness with me. He had done everything that had needed to be done. I hardly had to ask. He had never failed my people. Gentle and kind hearted, he always cared for everyone. He always knew the right things to say, and was always there for me, never letting me down.

I was in love with him.

I wanted him. He wasn't mine to take, but he felt like he should be. I wanted to shower him with love, worship his existence. He had done so much. How would I ever be able to give him anything he deserved?

I couldn't.

I wasn't meant for him.

His belt buckle was digging into my hip. I managed to get my hands down there to undo it. I waited for him to stop me. He had loads more sense than I. Triforce of Wisdom, HA! But it didn't appear that Link noticed, or maybe he chose to ignore it. His kisses never faltered, his grip on me steady.

I wanted to tear him apart. Without the belt fastened, I was able to pull on his tunic and his under shirt, pulling it up till I could finally reach the skin on his back. He stopped kissing me then, his face pressed against my neck. His breath came out hard, yet slow and even as I traced my fingers along the skin of his back.

I had expected the skin to be smooth, but I was stupid to think that. His back was marred with scars from things that I would never know. Things that I had missed from his life. Years and years of his life that I had missed. I couldn't see his back, so I tried to see with my fingers. There were so many.

I traced my fingers around his hip and onto his hard stomach. There were scars there too. He looked up from my neck, eyes locking on mine. I expected him to say something. Try to explain the scars or reassure me that they weren't as bad as they seemed. I expected him to tell me that we should go back to the party. I had crossed the line. It was one thing for us to be making out in a broom closet. It was a whole other thing for me to try to undress him.

But he didn't say anything. He just stared into my eyes where he could read my every thought and feeling. Then, without removing his eye contact, he drew closer and gave me the sweetest of kisses. His hips pressed against mine and I could feel all of him, thick and hard against me. With his eyes on me I could feel myself blush. I don't know why. I wasn't like I hadn't felt it before. But Link wasn't the nervous boy he was all those years ago. He was older now. He was a man now.

He continue to stare at me. He was giving me a choice. How stupid of him, putting the decision on me. Me being intoxicated, jealous and just a hormonal mess, he had to have known what my stupid answer would be.

My shoes had fallen off when he had first picked me up. I took my stockinged feet and dug my toes into the seat of his pants, pushing them down. He let out breath that he must have been holding. I don't know if it was out of relief or anxiety but the decision had been made. Link had always followed my wishes before, no matter how absurd they may have seemed at the time. He wasn't going to start disobeying now. But of course, this wasn't one of my best ideas.

He pushed me harder against the wall, kissing my neck as I felt his fingers move across the fabric of my already wet panties. He used one arm to hold me up while he took them off with the other. He had to pull away from me in order to slide them down my legs, and I hated being apart from him. He came back to me, letting my legs wrap around him. His fingers parted my wet flesh and my head went back against the wall as I whimpered.

"Shh," he said as he worked me open, all the time keeping his eyes on mine. I didn't want him to look at me. I couldn't stand it, so I closed my eyes. He kissed my neck gently as he removed his fingers from me and slowly started to go into me. No awkward fussing around or blindly humping like I was accustomed to, just in.

It hurt of course. I had been quite a bit of time since my husband and I had done anything. We were taking a break. He was hoping I'd be more cooperative when I was a bit older.

I wrapped my arms tightly around Link's neck, digging my fingers into his shoulders and burying my face into his neck. Link moved slowly and gracefully, pulling back from me a little before slowly going back in. I lifted my head up against the wall again. I didn't really know what to do with myself. The pain was fading away, and instead of just feeling something going in and out of me, it actually felt good.

I let out a low moan. Link softly shushed me. He slowly quickened his pace and it felt even better than it did before. I gasped and my eyes flew open to meet his steady ones as he pushed deeper into me. He had to silence me with a kiss. I was being too loud. The guards outside would surely hear me.

But what did I care? This feeling, like waves of pleasure washing over me, they grew and grew till I thought like I was going to explode with happiness. Link stopped kissing me. I think he was having trouble breathing, but I wasn't paying much attention at the time. The grip he had on my hips tightened, and just when I thought I would burst, he suddenly ripped himself out of me.

He held me tightly as we both tried to catch our breaths. "I'm sorry..." he said. "I didn't want... I didn't want to..." He didn't finish the sentence. He was pressed against my leg, and I felt the liquid run down into my stockings. Yet he didn't let go of me. He held me up for a very long time.


	10. Chapter 10

_-Link_

I couldn't let her go. If I did, she'd leave me. If I didn't put her down, she couldn't leave me.

As I held her tightly against the wall, I tried to convince myself to think again. We had to get back before anyone came looking for us. I had to go back to Mary. She must be uncomfortable by herself with the King. I had to let Zelda down. I was most likely ruining her dress.

I let her slide down so her feet where touching the floor, but I had yet to release her. It wasn't until she made a noise that my grip on her lessened. I wasn't sure if she had said anything or if it was just a noise to get me to move. I finally stepped away, my whole body shaking. Neither of us spoke. We looked away from each other awkwardly as we tried to fix our clothes. I bent down to pick up her underwear and wordlessly handed it to her. She stuffed it somewhere deep inside her dress. I watched her wipe under her eyes were her makeup has smeared from her crying and then pat her hair back into place. My fingers were wet from her. I wiped them on my pants.

She gave a deep sigh before saying, "Okay." I opened the closet door as we proceeded to act like known of that had happened. Zelda was always good at that. She was so good at pretending that she wasn't in love with me. All I could do was follow suit.

"Annabell!" Her voice was slightly hoarse. The maid poked her head out into the hall. "It seems I've had too much to drink. I need to return to the restroom." I watched her leave.

I saw Mary eying me from where she sat at the table. My heart started to pound in my chest. "Actually, I need to go too. To the restroom."

"Alright, sir Link, Elfons will escort you!" The King replied. I really didn't need an escort, but I was too dazed to argue. I followed the escort, keeping a good distance away, afraid that everyone could smell it on me.

In the bathroom, I washed myself up as best as I could, but I couldn't get rid of the feeling of being dirty. I gave up and returned to the table.

I was no longer sitting up against Mary like I had been. It didn't seem like she noticed all that much. She was actually having a great time taking with the King. Zelda was pretty much silent now. She was just sitting there, tracing the rim of her wine glass with her fingers. She wouldn't look at me, but I couldn't keep my eyes off of her.

Every once in awhile, the King or even Mary would say something, and she would smile at them and say, "Oh, yes."

Mary leaned over to my ear. I stiffened. "I don't know what you said to her," Mary whispered. "But she's much more pleasant now!"

I swallowed. "Yea."

When dinner was finally over, we said our goodbyes. Zelda only looked at Mary when she bid us away. I didn't exist for her at the moment.

I wondered how she did that, so easily turning her feelings off. I admired her for it really. I wish I could do that.

Eventually she always forgot me.

I was no stranger to being forgotten. When you loose your usefulness, people tend to forget about you. It was alright really. I was used to it.

* * *

I spent the entire next day in the archery shop with people who would eventually forget me. The owner loved me because I always brought in a huge crowed. They gathered around me and always made a lot of noise. They especially loved it when the target was something that shattered after I shot it.

To make things more interesting, the towns people made it a game whenever you miss, you have to take a drink. Except, I never missed, so they made me drink whenever I hit the darn thing. There had been bets on how drunk I had to be to finally miss the target. It hadn't happened yet so they were all just loosing their money.

Though they might have had a little bit of an advantage today. I was sorta already drunk before I got there.

I hadn't slept much the night before. After taken Mary home, I took Epona for a long ride until I fell asleep in the saddle. She was such a good horse. All night she had my ass on her back, but she didn't let me fall.

I pulled back on the string of my bow as far as my tired arms would go. The strain of it was slightly comforting. Maybe because it was the only thing that I seemed to be able to feel at the moment and I needed a reminder that I still existed. If I didn't exist anymore, I wouldn't have responsibilities. And if I thought I didn't have responsibilities I was going to do something stupid.

The crowed went berserk after I finished a level. "How many are there..." I tried to ask, but had to start again. "How many are there now?" I asked some kid beside me.

"Fifteen!"

I was seeing thirty so that meant I still only had_ double_ vision. When I started seeing triple I'd have to remember to change my tactic. Now I just had to aim between the two of them.

"Yo, Link!" someone had called my name, but I didn't know or cared who. I released my arrow just as one of the ceramic pots moved quickly in front of my vision. Someone put their arm around my shoulder and I gave them a quick look before turning my attention back to the next ceramic pot. "Mary told me I'd find you here."

The heavy sick feeling that I was able to compress suddenly came back to me.

Shit. Mary. Real life.

"I should... I should probably go see her today. Haven't seen her today."

"I don't think that's such a good idea considering your current state." My vision cleared a little to make out who it was. It was Lance, the Queen's number one bodyguard when I wasn't around. Zelda never liked Lance. He seemed lazy, rude and liked to give her a hard time. I always liked him.

It didn't seem like it, but Lance could be super deadly. He would sit in the corners and watch everything when you thought he was dozing off, but once he saw danger, they were dead after only a moment. He had saved the Queen's life from assassination attempts before, and I was always thankful that he was there for her when I wasn't around.

There was wall to wall people in here, shoulder against shoulder and I didn't know how he was able to get through them all to get to me. "Why aren't you with the Queen?" Unless of course, maybe I was hallucinated and he wasn't even there to begin with.

"She told me to get my ass out of her sight. Don't worry though, she's in good hands."

I shot three more pots.

"You drink too much."

"What?" I shot another pot.

"Just said you drink too much. Don't worry. You don't drink as much as her Majesty. No one in the world drinks as much as her."

I eyed him, wondering where he was going with this. I was able to make another shot without looking.

"Speaking of drinking," he started brightly, "last night was a big night for her. Loads of wine. We had a lot of fun, her and I."

I backed from the game with a loaded bow as I turned to face Lance, not liking his tone.

"Don't worry. It's not what you're thinking."

He would be dead so easily. Yea, Lance had some fighting skills but we both knew who would win if this turned into a fight. Lance would be nailed to the floor.

"I'm just saying we talked a lot. You know how she is when she talks?"

I swayed a little as I raised the bow for the next target. Lance backed up. I think he thought I was going to miss.

I don't miss.

"I know, Link," he said then, dead serious.

Now it made sense why Lance was here. Zelda had told him. Maybe she had told him by accident. She was drinking a lot. Or maybe she told him on purpose to make sure she got rid of me. She was so drunk during that dinner and I took advantage of her in a broom closet.

I cheated on my fiance and took advantage of the Queen in a broom closet.

I hit my next two targets. "You come here to kill me?"

"Well... execution wasn't part of my orders... but maybe I can fit you into my schedule."

I laughed dryly. "I'm free now."

"Look Link. I actually need to talk to you."

I knew what he was going to say. I was banned from the castle now. Zelda was cutting off contact like she always eventually did. That was fine with me. I didn't want to see her face again anyway.

I hit the last target, and the kid that had be retrieving my arrows couldn't pull the last one out from where it had struck the wood. I had shot that one a little too hard.

"Okay, buddy, it's time to leave." Lance put both hands on my shoulders and turned toward the door. "I have to borrow the Hero right now. I'm sorry for the inconvenience. Everybody say goodbye." Everyone booed, but we were somehow able to leave.

Lance sat me down on a bench outside. I was sort of hoping my head would feel better when we left the loud building, but without the extra noise, the pounding in my head seemed to be even louder. Lance was staring at me with his arms crossed. "What do you have to say for yourself?"

The world around me seemed to be moving too much and my head was going to cave in. "Fuck..."

"Yea, that's along the same lines of what Zelda said, but once I was able to wrestle the wine bottle away from her, she was quiet as a mouse. In fact, all day today she's been quite and pleasant. She's so much more easier to deal with!"

I grunted.

"I really should be thanking you. This is probably the best thing that's ever happened to her. If you make it a regular occurrence, I'm sure her personalty will be way better from now on."

I glared up at Lance. "A regular occurrence? Are you aware on the fact that I'm about to get married?!"

Lance shrugged his shoulder. "So what? You really think that this doesn't happen all the time? And you don't understand what she's like when you're not around. I have to be with her all the time! You only have to deal with her on occasion. It's especially bad right before and after your visits." He started to imitate Zelda's voice "That bastard coming up here after two whole months! What could he have been doing for two months! It doesn't take that long for his mission. He probably screwed up somewhere and got hurt, because he's such a dumb ass. Why do I always have to deal with dumb asses! The maid missed a spot! I'll just clean the whole castle myself!"

I sighed. "You know, she didn't always use to be like that."

Lance looked at me like I just grew an extra head.

"She used to be kind of care free before," I start remembering another time in another place. Zelda laughing mischievously as she hid from her parents to come out and play with me. Her eyes would glow as she put a finger to her mouth, signaling me to be quiet.

"Nah, I'm pretty sure she's had that stick up her ass since she was born. And then you took it out in the broom closet."

I break from my memory. "She's the Queen! This isn't a good thing. I screwed up the balance of the Triforce, and now the world is going be fucked up. I'm _fucking _the world!" It turned out I was started to shout and Lance placed two fingers on me head.

"Shh, you're drawing a crowd."

I shut up as I tried to focus on the two fingers I couldn't see.

"You're talking crazy stuffs because you drank too much. The world isn't going to end. Everything is fine."

Lance just didn't understand.

"I think what we really should be doing is calming down. We don't need you keeling over because of liver failure."

I took a breath. "Did... Did Zelda say anything...?"

"Oh, she said a _lot _of things."

I glared at him. "I mean, did she say anything... about what's going to happen now."

Lance looked up as he tried to think. "I don't think so... It was mostly about how much of a whoring skank she was and how she has no decency left."

"Who else knows?"

"No one else. I made sure to keep her locked up in her room for a good while until she calmed down."

"I can't go back there."

Lance waved his hands. "So you guys had a little accident, no big deal. No harm done. If she gets pregnant, we'll just blame it on the King and everyone lives happily ever after."

I groaned and put my head between my knees as I tried to keep from throwing up.

"Really. She doesn't blame you for anything. I don't blame you! I'm surprise it took so long."

"If you don't stop talking... I'm going to kill you," I grumbled. He did stop talking. Instead he grabbed my shirt and pulled me off the bench. He lead me to Epona, where I had left her at an odd place because I was drunk, and somehow was able to get me on her back. Then he led me to Mary's wagon outside of town. I threw up a couple times on the way there, but it helped clear my head a little.

"Found him," I heard Lance tell to Mary.

She looked up at me. "What the hell happen to you?"

I'm terrible at lying and after a moments of trying to think of what to say, I decided to just say the truth. "I'm drunk," and then I fell off my horse.


	11. Chapter 11

_-Zelda_

My bodyguard was one of the most pleasant people here at my court. Whenever it was answering every single question I had for him in sarcasm, snoring loudly when I was talking in councils, or making derogatory, perverted jokes about my relationship with Link, he had always been, oh so very pleasant.

Lance was first assigned to me by my uncle back when I was still a teenager and had no power to fire him. I had tried to many times. He came from some sort of important background that I didn't remember because I never cared to know anything about him. My uncle told me he was highly recommended, but whatever he was recommended for was not manners or any sort of decency.

When I first met him he was smoking and wearing yesterday's clothes as if he wasn't going to meet the Princess of Hyrule. No one smokes in my hallways!

Now that I had gain the power to actually fire him, I couldn't deny that his usefulness had kept him around, but every time that I tried to thank him, he did something infuriating! Understand that I hated this man, so one can only imagine how many bottles of wine I must have had to think he was my best friend.

After the dinner, I went up to my bedroom to cry my eyes out like I had originally planned with a brand new bottle of wine. I changed out of my dress. I would never wear it again. My husband, avoiding me, went off somewheres else.

But I couldn't be left alone, no! Something terrible could happen to the Queen if she ever had two seconds to herself, so of course Lance had to be there. The only time he wasn't with me was when I was changing (and then of course I would have my handmaids) or when I slept. Then he would stand outside the door or sometimes someone else would take over to give him a break. I had learned to ignore his existence pretty well though, so his presence did not upset my crying one bit. I cried and I cried until it must have started to get to him, because he let out a loud annoyed sigh from where he sat at the corner of the room.

"I'm sorry, am I bothering you?!"

"I'm not the one upset, you are."

"Upset?! You mean, someone's noticed I'm upset?!"

Lance rolled his eyes at me. "So how long is this going to last? I mean the crying. We met the girl. You want me to assassinate her or something? Would that please you enough to stop?"

"You would kill an innocent girl?!"

"You're the boss."

I suddenly realized he was kidding, which should have been obvious from the start. "I don't like her," I said instead.

"We all know that."

"Her, and her new dress, trying to show off to the _Queen_."

"Weren't you wearing a new dress?"

I ignored him. "She had red hair... You know what they say about people with red hair."

"What do they say about people with red hair?"

"They're evil," I was still rather drunk at this time. "Ganondorf had red hair. He's evil."

"You know, that's very true."

"And Nabooru had red hair. She never wore enough clothes, and that Malon girl! That Malon girl and her horse and her singing, she was a redhead."

"If you say so," I knew Lance had no idea what I was talking about, but I kept on going.

"And Din, she has red hair!"

"You mean the goddess?"

"Exactly! And Romani and Cremia and Marin, _Midna_!"

"You know... do you ever wonder if you drink too much? Like, seriously?"

"What?! _Me?_ The _Queen?_ A _drinking_ problem?" I started laughing hysterically. "The Queen with a drinking problem!" I was sounding a little insane. "That would imply that I would be able to perform indecent behavior! The Queen being indecent... Like I could be indecent. Like I could, even though I'm married to our current King, go into a dingy _broom_ closet with the Hero and start tearing at his clothes until he finally gives in and fucks me like one of those sleazy chamber maids!"

"Wait what? Hold on, back up."

"I'm a _slut!_" I fell to my knees onto the floor with my face in my hands. "I'm such a whore! He's going to be married, and I just... I just..."

"Wait, wait, wait... You and Link did it in a broom closet? All this time, I didn't even think you knew what sex was."

I cried out hysterically, "I'm such a harlot! I don't deserve to be queen! I don't deserve the Trifcorce! You!" I pointed at Lance, "You deserve it more than I do! You should be queen! Here, take it!" I threw my crown at the ground by his feet. "I'm going to Hell!" I was going to Hell. No more resurrection for me. I'd be in Hell with thousands of dirty broom closets.

"You're not going to Hell..." he picked up my crown, placed it on my vanity and then made a grab for my bottle, but I clutched it away from him. "Give it."

"No!"

"You want to go to Hell or not?"

I whimpered as I handed over the bottle before I went back into my sobbing. "But it's too late! I already perverted my body with sinful actions of fornication!" I started to sob harder.

"So you and Link... in a broom closet...?" He played with the wine bottle, looking like he was haveing a real hard time believing me.

"You should just kill me now! Let the Trifoce of Wisdom find someone else!"

"Alright calm down..." He sat beside me on the floor. "I think you're a great queen."

I sniffled. "You're lying. You think I drink too much."

"So what? Many great rulers have had drinking problems. And many have been in broom closets!"

I let out another wail as I continued to cry.

"Listen, don't be so hard on yourself. Really, who _wouldn't_ do Link in a broom closet? _I_ would do Link in a broom closet."

"Don't compare myself to you. It just makes me feel even worse!"

He sighed. "Alright, so how are we going to fix this?"

"What?"

"How are we going to fix the problem. You're the Queen. You fix problems."

"Fix the problem?! There's no fixing the problem! I'm just going to go to Hell!" I started crying into his shoulder. I felt him stiffen, but I couldn't stop.

After a moment he spoke again. "So was it worth it?"

"What?"

"You're going to Hell and all, might as well be worth it."

"It was wonderful! He was wonderful! It was all so wrong and dirty and wonderful! I've never done anything like that before." I lifted my head from Lance's shoulder. "You know, I don't think I've ever even orgasmed before. I don't know. I can't remember! You'd think I would remember something like that."

Lance was giving me a face that showed just how uncomfortable he was with this conversation.

"I'd just lay there and wait for it to be over and then it would be over!"

"Well see? Now you have had a good experience dealing... dealing with that. And the more experiences the Queen has the better, right?"

"I suppose it is good for the Queen to have experiences..."

"Yeah, you see? Everything's alright." He patted my back awkwardly.

"But what usefulness would this experience be for a queen?"

"Um, well..." He put his fist up to his mouth as he tried to think. For a moment I didn't think he was going to come up with anything. "When you're... you know, just laying there for your husband, you can think about your time in the broom closet with Link and maybe it'll make it a little more enjoyable for you! There!"

"You think that would actually work?"

"Sure."

"And then... I might actually want to do it with my husband more often. And if I did that, I could get pregnant with his child! I'd give birth to the heir, and oh, then I'd fulfill my duties of being the Queen!"

"There you go!"

I hugged him. "All isn't lost! I can still be queen without destroying the country!"

"Okay, hugging..."

"Oh thank you! You are such a kind person. All this time, I've been so mean to you, trying to fire you and get rid of you, but you are such a _wonderful_ person. May the goddesses bless you. _Bless_ you!" I was starting to mumble and I was trying to stop it by talking louder.

"Alright, it's time for bed." He lifted me up and carried me to my bed. In all honesty, I wouldn't have made it there without his help. "Go to sleep. Everything will be better in the morning."

I was unconscious in moments.

* * *

When I woke up, I had a killer headache, so I stayed in bed. When my head cleared, I remembered my embarrassing conversation with Lance and stayed in bed even longer so I didn't have to deal with his snide comments on how foolish I had acted. Dammit, I had actually hugged him. He wasn't going to let that one down.

Since I wasn't doing anything, but lying in bed, I found my thoughts going back to yesterday in the broom closet.

Link.

The faint memory of his hands on my skin was still there. I put my hands on my thighs, trying to recreate it, but it wasn't the same. His hands were larger and rougher than mine.

I let out a long slow breath. I shouldn't be thinking of him, but there was no one to know that I was, so I let myself. I thought about how it felt when his mouth was on mine. I thought about the feelings I felt when he looked at me with those eyes of his.

I rolled over onto my stomach, pressing my face into my pillow. Why was everything about him so perfect? Link just couldn't get resurrected into someone ugly for once?

He had looked hurt after it all. I was so cold to him, but I had to. I had to make sure that it never happened again. It was for the best. We shouldn't have done it in the first place!

Yet it was so good.

I stayed in bed with my fantasies until I thought I was ready to enter into the real world. As my maids help me get dressed, I prepared myself to face Lance and forget about everything that happened the day before.

He was waiting for me outside of the bedroom chambers like he normally did in the morning, though it was far from morning by now. It was perfect really. Now no one could scold me for having a drink too early.

Lance greeted me with his grin that I always hated. I smiled sweetly at him. "How are you today, Lance?"

"I'm amazing today, thank you your Majesty. How are you?"

"Brilliant, thank you."

"I'm glad to hear."

I went into the dinning room to get something to eat. My husband lovingly decided to accompany me. I wasn't even sure if he slept in the bed with me last night. He sat next to me reading the newspaper as I stared at my food, trying to convince myself I was hungry.

"You seem awfully quite today. Are you feeling any better? Lance said you weren't feeling well last night," my husband said without looking away from his newspaper.

I gave Lance the same sweet smile I had before which he returned just as sweet. "I feel much better, thank you. Also thank you, Lance, informing the King that I was unwell. That was very kind of you."

"You're very welcome!"

I drank deeply from my wine glass and my husband took his eyes off the paper to give me a look. "Should you be drinking?"

I waved my hand at him before I finished swallowing. "I'm fine, dear. It's fine.

He sighed and went back to his paper. We all returned to our silences for a long time. I started to think about Link again even though I promised myself I would stop as soon as I left the bedroom. And as soon as I started, I felt the familiar twinge deep inside my loins. I crossed my legs and focused on the tapestries that lined the walls in the dinning room. I wished the tapestries were more interesting.

No, stop that. If I was too horny to concentrate on anything else, I might as well be thinking of my husband instead of Link. I almost laughed out loud at the thought. As if I could think of my husband in any sort of attractive way.

I watched him read his newspaper. Why was I being so hard on the man? It wasn't like he was ugly or anything. He had nice features in his face and was neither too fat or too thin. It was just that he was so incredibly dull.

I shouldn't be so picky. I could always find away to just entertain myself somehow, like Lance had said. I just had to use my imagination. "Darling?"

"Yes?"

"I was just thinking about the baby."

"What baby?"

"Our baby. Maybe we should be doing something about that."

He started to sputter and cough. "What? Right now?"

"Well, I don't know about right now. Do you think we should be doing it right now?"

"No, I don't think right now is the _ideal_ time."

"Maybe later perhaps?"

"Yes later."

"I guess later would be best." I paused as I thought. "If I got pregnant now, I would have to give up wine."

"And you do love your wine," Lance said snickering in the corner. We ignored him. We always ignored him.

"Yes you would," was all my husband had to say, but by now I lost all desires to try to have an heir. Later. Maybe. I sipped from my wine glass.

And the silence continued. Were things always this quiet? I should probably be doing something important, but there was still a dull ache in my head. The wine glass probably wasn't helping.

Finally, my husband spoke again. "Oh we got the invitation for the Hero's wedding."

I shot up straight in my chair. I had been slouching and leaning on my elbows, very unlike me. "Oh?" He handed the invitation over to me. "What a nice plain little card." I flipped it open. "I assume this is Mary's writing because it's not Link's."

My husband only made a noise to pretend he was listening. He knew I was about to go on a rant.

"You can tell through her writing that she's inviting us, but doesn't really want us to come."

"How is that, my dear?"

"She's too harsh on her descenders. Did you see how they just sort of whip under the words like that?"

"No I don't think I noticed. Why would you think they wouldn't want us to go to their wedding? We're very close friends with the Hero."

"Well, if the royals came to their wedding, naturally we would attract a large crowd. And you heard, she had to borrow that dress. They wouldn't be able to afford to feed that many guests! We shouldn't go. We don't want to make their new marriage harder than it already is."

"You know best dear."

Lance refilled my wine glass.

"Are you giving her more to drink?!"

Lance shrugged. "I think she's kind of amusing when she's like this."

"Oh, that's sweet of you, Lance." I smiled and sort of giggled at him.

"I know."

My husband growled at himself before shaking his head and readjusting the newspaper. "As long as you deal with her when she gets the way she does."

But I didn't go into a rage like I normally did. I was actually as happy as a peach.

I spent much of the day wandering around the halls daydreaming. I came to the conclusion if I wasn't going to do anything anyway, I might as well go back to bed. I said so to Lance.

"Going back to bed to touch yourself to Link?"

I was so appalled at the comment that I almost fell to the ground. The door of my bedroom chambers caught me as one of my hands flung to catch my fall, the other going over my heart. And here I thought he was being so nice today. Apparently he was just waiting to catch me alone before antagonizing me. "I never-!"

He raised and eyebrow at me.

"I have a headache, as I should! Or do your not remember how drunk I was last night?"

"You seem pretty happy for someone who's been ailed by a headache all day."

"_Have I?_" I asked quite nastily to him.

"You haven't insulting me once today."

"I haven't?!"

"You even called me sweet."

"I did?!"

"You're in _love_ with him!"

"Shut up! And you better not tell anyone about what happened yesterday or I will have you executed! I mean it. You'll be dead."

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Now I'm going to sleep. So get out of my sight for a while."

"Have fun." I slammed the door on his face and my chamber maids, all aware that I was angry, rushed to fuss over me. I rolled my eyes and eventually got to bed.

* * *

The next day, I woke up at my usual early time, and immediately went to work. I updated and went over the taxes and laws of the country, I listened to and resolved a quarrel among two villages who thought their problem was important enough for my ears, I went to a few meetings more about taxes and then a meeting about planning the next fair, made two nobles that hated each other the best of friends, did a little reading, practiced my magic casting and then had a talk with someone about a feud happening in a nearby country.

A normal day. No more daydreaming, completely sober, completely right.

Lance had been rather quiet most of the day, or maybe I was just so good at ignoring him now that I didn't hear anything he had to say. It was never important anyway. After I was done talking to a noble in the hallway, he finally said something.

"So how are you doing today?"

"I'm fine. Completely sober. I am never drinking again."

"Even if you saw Link?"

"Of course. It never happened. If I saw Link, I would deal with him just like any other person. I'm completely over him."

"Completely over him?"

"Yes."

"That was fast."

"Well it was necessary. Everything is going to go on like it never happened."

"Well that's great because he's coming this way."

I took my attention off of Lance to further down the hall. He was there. Thankfully, he was walking slowly, staring at the walls like he usually did and didn't seem to notice me yet. "Oh... _Goddesses!_" I turned around to go the other direction.

"Where do you think you're going?" Lance asked.

I gave another quick look to Link who had finally spotted me. He stopped from his walking when he realized I was turning away from him to make my escape. "Shit!" I glared at Lance. "I hate you."

"Obviously he came here for you. You're just going to hide from him? Not very queenly..."

"You don't know that! He could be here for someone else..."

"He only ever comes here for you!"

I couldn't answer him because Link had somehow gathered up the courage to walk up to us. "Sir Link! What a surprise to see you!" I gleamed up at him with practiced enthusiasm.

He bowed to me and said very softly, "You too," which didn't actually make sense to what I had said. Link shouldn't be surprised to see me. He walked all the way over here to do it.

There was a long, way too awkward silence. I glared at Lance. "Do you mind?"

"Hmm?"

"Leave!"

"Oh, I can't do that. Job description states I must be with you at all times. We don't want _another_ accident to happen."

"For heaven's sake!" I began to chase him away. I think he let me because we were in the hallway with the guards. The guards in the hallway sometimes didn't seem like real people. With Lance gone, it gave the illusion of privacy.

I came back over to Link. "I'm going to fire him," I said. "For real this time!"

"I have to ask you something." He took a deep breath before looking up at me. "Are you coming to the wedding?"

"Why?!" It came out too paranoid.

"Just a head count. It would be nice to know if the King and Queen were going to show up so we can have a decent spot to put them. Otherwise, you might find yourself next to someone you really wish you were not." He grinned at me. "Some of Mary's family members..." He winced. "not so pleasant."

Right, he was just planning things. It was so odd to think of Link making plans for anything. He was more of a make-stuff-up-on-the-way kind of guy. Of course, it was probably Mary doing all the planning. She probably told Link to come up here.

"Well," I started. "You see, my husband, unfortunately has a hunting trip planned for that very date, and he much rather go on the trip. And you know, it wouldn't be right for me to go alone..."

I could see in Link's face that he knew I was lying. He always knew when I was lying. Yet he wasn't hurt by it, he was understanding. I could even see his shoulders relax once I had given him my answer. He didn't want me to show up anyway.

"Well that was it. Thanks anyway." He turned to leave.

"Wait!"

He stopped, looking at me questioning. I didn't know what I wanted to say. I was trying to think of anything to keep him from leaving. I wanted to fling my arms around him, but that would totally be the wrong thing to so. "Good luck."

He smiled sadly at me. "Thanks," and then he was gone.


	12. Chapter 12

_-Link_

There were things you just didn't tell Zelda. I knew it seemed wrong, but to make life a little bit simpler, it was best just to leave some of the unimportant details out.

I've made the accident of introducing people I should not have to her quite a few times in the past. It didn't occur to me that it would make a difference if my friend was female or not, especially since Zelda and me were never officially together, but Zelda could get pretty jealous sometimes.

Zelda wasn't meant to meet Mary. I didn't expect the King to ask if I had found someone to marry. The question took me by surprise. I also didn't think I'd still be doing odd missions for the royal family at this point of my life. In my other lives, I would have been long gone by now. For some reason, Zelda hadn't pushed me away yet.

So the whole Zelda meeting Mary thing was a complete accident and almost the most agonizing part of my entire existence. Zelda's jealously could really bother me sometimes. I mean, I wasn't jealous of the King. I had to admit at one point I was, but not anymore. I actually felt sorry for the guy. He had to deal with all of Zelda's bad quirks and never got to experience the good things about her. Arranged marriages had to be tough.

When the whole marriage issue was brought up, I almost wished mine was arranged so I wouldn't have to think about it at all. I was reluctant, if not downright difficult when it came to the subject. I made Zelda's Mage pretty frustrated with me.

He made me buy an engagement ring before I even had a clue on who I was going to marry. It wasn't like it was my mother's wedding ring, and it wasn't anything special to look at it. It had no meaning. I didn't give a crap for it, but I bought it because the Mage was glaring at me the entire time, and under his gaze, you wanted to shit your pants.

Then I proceeded to ask women, some that I had never met before, if they wanted to marry me. I made it very clear that my intentions were only to reproduce and had nothing to do with me being attracted or have any appeal for them. I got slapped in the face so many times that by the end of the day, it was bright red. Being slightly famous, there were a few young, fanatic girls that would be like, "Oh Godesses, I'd love to marry you!" which I would try to avoid like the plague, but most were rather appalled by my random, lackluster marriage proposals. Women put marriage on a pedestal, thinking it was a magical, sacred commitment.

Marriage was stupid.

It was complicated, dramatic and difficult when it should have been the simplest thing ever. I didn't know if my parents ever had a good marriage. They were always too stupid to ever live long enough for me to find out. It made sense where my intelligence came from really. In all honesty, I didn't know how well I could stand being married to Zelda, not that it would ever happen, but all her overprotective bossiness would get to me. At least that's what I told myself. It's no good thinking she would be the one when it was never going to happen.

All and all, I wasn't happy with the idea of getting married. I was used to being with no one but Epona, riding around the country without a care in the world, doing odd jobs and missions. The thought of living with some girl that would try to tell me what to do all the time was not appealing to me. I also knew that eventually, my wife would die and I would just have to do this all over again in the next life. The Mage was on his last straw with me. I think he was pretty close to choosing a girl for me. It wasn't until I told him the more he pushed me, the less likely this was all going to happened, that he started to back away from the subject. In the end I was glad I did have a choice.

There are things about Mary that both her and I agreed not to tell Zelda, or general people at the castle. It wasn't like I really cared what other people thought of me, but to avoid unnecessary drama and making a big deal out of stupid shit, there was just some stuff about my life that I kept to myself.

Mary didn't sell milk. Well she did, but that's not what she did for a living. She'd sell anything she could get her hands on. She wasn't lying when she said she was always ready to make a rupee or two. She called herself a street performer. When I first met her, she asked if I wanted my fortune read. I had said no, because not only had she already taken all my money, I didn't need to hear that I was going to die in some sort of horrible, heroic way. I had already heard that about a trillion times.

She lived in a large painted wagon with a bunch of other large sketchy like characters that would come into town to con stupid people out of their money with rigged games.

I really hated that.

I hated it when people lied to each other just to get to the other's money. There were plenty of people out there that had nothing and coudn't afford to loose more just because someone's lied to them. But then again, the con people needed to make a living too, so I found myself letting them con me so they wouldn't con others. That was probably a good reason why a lot of people saw me as a dip shit. I didn't really care though. I had never really needed money. I knew how to hunt and live in the most wild of places, and when I was in civilization, people tended to just give me things a lot. So whenever I had any money or something I could give away, I went to go loose it in one of their ridiculous games.

Mary noticed it first. She was smarter than the rest of them. I guess she thought it as sort of sweet, and we became friends. It was easy for me to make friends. I didn't think anything of it when it happened. I didn't think I'd marry her. We started to hang out together when neither of us had anything better to do. Horus, the leader of her little group, would tease her and say, "Make sure you don't give him anything he didn't pay for!" I once said, "If I married you, it's free, right?" She hit me so hard I never said anything like that again. I've been beat up by various girls before, but she defiantly had the hardest punch. I only half heartily meant the marriage thing anyway.

Mary got teased a lot by the others. I guessed it was because she was the only other woman in the whole group. She tried to act like a man. She could drink more than any of us, always refused to let me help her carry things, ignored my advise when going out in the dark alone and did all the hard physical work just as the rest of the men did. Not that she was a manly woman, she was actually quite small, and when she wasn't making up people's fortunes, she was dancing in her brightly colored skirts, skirts that we had agreed she shouldn't wear to the castle. She'd put on a bunch of mismatched, ragged skirts of different colors and begin dancing to someone playing a flute on the streets for people to watch and throw money at. Her hips seemed to move in a way that didn't seem possible, and I guess I tended to stare a lot. We occasionally flirted with each other, but it didn't really mean anything. I always got the impression that she just felt sorry for me all the time anyway.

What really brought us together, ironically, was that both of us were getting railed on about not being married yet. Mary was actually five years older than me, already thirty three, and still without a husband. She had a young face so she got away with it, but Horus and his gang of friends would tell her that pretty soon, she'd be too old and ugly and no one would want her. After that, she'd go around turning people black and blue and say at least she didn't have a mug like the rest of them. The two of us sort of teamed up together, defending the other whenever everyone else gained up on them. We'd talk about how stupid marriage was, and how much we loved being single. During these conversations, I started to wonder if Mary really meant all that she said. I would see her with men sometimes, but nobody for long term and people would tell me she would miss me when I wasn't around.

I started to wonder what it would be like if I married Mary. She was no Zelda, but there were qualities about her that I thought I could like, qualities that Zelda didn't have anyway. Mary wasn't bossy. She didn't worry about stupid things. She had a sort of 'don't worry, I got this,' attitude that was pretty similar to my own. And I did find her fun to hang out with.

So one day, when we were hanging out at a bar with the other guys, and after a pretty brutal attack by them, I watched Mary take a sip of her drink. "Fuck them. They're right. I'll never get married. Oh well."

"Well, if you can't find someone, you could always just marry me." I had said it without thinking through the words carefully. I also had a few drinks and I wasn't sure how sober I was.

She turned her head to gawk at me. "What did you say?"

"Shit, that was terrible." I laughed. "Forget I said that."

"I don't know Link, that's not something I can just easily forget. That's also the second time you asked me to marry you."

I let my head fall back and closed my eyes. "Please forget?"

"I might need some more incentive to forget."

I grabbed her head in between my hands, putting on a slight pressure, as if I could squeeze the memory out of her. Then I kissed her forehead. "Forget it."

She laughed at me, and pushed me away. "You can't just brain wash me like that!"

"Can't you just forget it for like, five minutes?"

"What?"

"_One _minute?!"

"What are you talking about?"

I winced. "That guy just dropped his wallet and rupees are all over the floor..." That got her to turn around and I ran out the door to Epona. I had kept the engagement ring in her saddle bag. I'm surprised no one ever dug in there and stole it. It wasn't like I took great care of it.

I came back in, a little out of breath and put the ring down on the bar. "Now, will you marry me?"

"Where did you get that? Is that real?"

I snatched it away from her before she could pick it up. "Of course it's real. I'm not some cheapskate."

"Let me see it."

"Only if you marry me."

She made a face at me. "Let me _see _it!" She tried to pry it from my fist, but I tucked my arm in between my stomach and the counter.

"Nope, you got to marry me." I grinned at her.

She started beating on my back and I started laughing. Some people rolled their eyes at us. They probably knew this was coming way before I did. "Sure, just let me see it!"

"Can I get that in writing? That didn't sound very convincing." She dug her fingernails into my ribs, which I should have expected. "Ow!"

She pried the ring out of my hand before returning to her stool. She put the diamond up to the light before slipping it onto her finger. "How much do you think it would sell for?"

I was rubbing my ribs. "You can't sell it!"

"Why not?"

"That defeats the whole purpose!"

"I suppose you're right." She looked at the ring on her finger and laughed to herself. "Me being a married woman... Might make me want to settle down and leave my current life style." I laughed at her. She hit me. Then she gave me a serious look. "How long have you been planning on asking me this?"

"Five minutes ago," I answered honestly as I took another drink.

"Why me?"

"Why did you say yes?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know."

"I don't know either."

"Link?" She touched my shoulder and I looked at her. She looked around the room for a moment, making sure on one was watching us, before she gave me a very quick kiss on the lips.

"That wasn't so bad," I said and it really wasn't.

"No, it wasn't." She gave me another, longer kiss, but unfortunately some people saw that one.

"Hey! Everyone look at Mary and Link!"

"Ooh!"

Mary swore and dragged me out of the bar. I was laughing the whole time. Once outside she pushed me against the wall of the building where it was dark. I stopped laughing then when she started to kiss me fiercely. There was still a heaviness inside me, that one very stubborn part of me that refused to let go of Zelda. But I tried to relax and find comfort in Mary.

* * *

Everything probably would have been okay. I had done it all before, right? I just had to live this life like I had lived all the other ones.

But then I had to fuck it up in that broom closet. I couldn't believe I did that. What was I thinking? I hadn't planned that happening. Zelda was still my friend even though we couldn't be together. I had just wanted to comfort her.

I was stupid.

I thought about telling Mary, and calling the whole thing off. She had the right not to want to marry me. But I was afraid I wouldn't be able to find another person to marry. Not without killing myself anyway. I almost wondered if she would even care. We had talked about all the things that we hated about marriage that we wouldn't do. I wasn't going to be jealous, she wasn't going to nag or be controlling. Would she even get jealous?

I was too much of a coward to find out.

So I pushed all these thoughts way back in my head so I wouldn't have to think about anything. I was in a complete daze. Mary thought it was pre-marriage jitters.

Horus and his friends woke me up at two in the morning before the wedding to have a 'bachelor party', which really just consisted of them pouring drinks down my throat. I think they literally tried to kill me. I had never died from alcohol poisoning before. I wondered if it would hurt. I didn't think it could possibly, since I couldn't feel anything.

I was still quite drunk after the wedding had already started. Somehow, the guys were able to dress me up in nicer clothes and get me down the aisle. All I had to do was stand there, and I think I stood there pretty well. I wasn't sure if people even knew how drunk I was, but of course I was drunk so I had no idea.

I remembered Mary eying me and whispering, "Are you wasted?"

I thought I answered her, but I couldn't remembered what I said.

She had glared at Horus who had been laughing and I was glad she knew it was his fault and not mine. I didn't remember much of the ceremony. I did remember the part where the priest said, "Speak now or forever hold your peace." I was searching the crowd for Zelda. I didn't know why. She had told me she wasn't going to be here.

But I searched anyway, and looked at ever blonde woman and girl, staring at them for a long time-because my vision was shit-before I realized they weren't her.

I somehow made it through the ceremony and into the reception where I was made to dance and drink more. I ran into every person there until Mary eventually saved me and let me sit at a table. She really let Horus have it then. I couldn't tell what she was saying, but it was loud and made my head hurt. After I was safe, she went her own way since I was too drunk to be any fun to be around.

As I eventually sobered up with a huge headache, I was able to escape my tormentors. I found a barrel of ice and stuck my head in it, hoping to ease the headache and hoping that no one would recognize me with my head in a barrel.

"Are you alright, sir?"

I groaned and lifted my head to see who it was. Fortunately it wasn't one of Horus' friends. It was actually one of my friends, the guy that owned the archery shop.

"Oh, it's you Link!"

"Yea, I just had a little too much to drink." I put my head back into the barrel.

He laughed at me. "Over doing it already? The night's still young!"

"You mean it's not almost over yet?" I groaned.

"You got the whole night with your girl!"

"Oh, shit..." I wasn't ready for a wedding night. I was going to pass out as soon as I got into bed. Some husband I was.

"You alright, Link?" he asked again.

"Yea, yea. I'll be okay"

He patted my back. "You know, whatever happened to that pretty blonde girl you brought over years ago?"

Before Zelda had gotten married, I brought her into town, and we disgusted her up as a normal village girl. I took her dancing and to the archery shop and a bunch of different places she had never been to. She had loved it. It was such a long time ago, more than ten years ago. I was surprised the archery guy remembered her, but then again, I guess Zelda is pretty memorable.

"She and me didn't work out," I finally said.

"Well that's too bad. No offense to Mary, but that girl was a beauty. Mary's quite a catch too, though."

I lifted my head from the ice. "If you don't mind, I'm going to go throw up."

He chucked. "It was nice talking to you."

* * *

We didn't have a house. I usually spent my nights in various different places, from friend's houses to motels, to the castle and most of the time outside in hopefully okay weather. Mary traveled a lot and though she had her own separate wagon for her living quarters, it was still just a wagon.

And even though we were in the wagon alone, outside there was still quite a crowd of very drunk people.

"Link, are you sure you're okay?" Mary had already gotten herself comfortable on her mattress. I was just kind of standing in the middle of the space. I wasn't looking foreword to bending over to take off my boots.

Some dumb ass outside shook the wagon, and of course I fell over.

Mary laughed. "We need a house."

"I was going to build one," I muttered as I pushed myself up. "I was suppose to. I should go do that."

"Right now? You can't build a house right now!"

"I'll be quick."

"Link," She got up and put her hands on my shoulder turning me away from the door. "You're going to go to bed. You're too tired to build a house, and please it's your wedding night."

I tripped over the mattress, but luckily I landed on it too. She took off my boots and I was glad I didn't have to.

"Now relax and go to sleep."

"I can't go to sleep."

"Why not?"

"I'm a bad husband."

She hushed me. "It's not your fault. That damn Horus, making you drink till your sick like this. It's alright if you just go to sleep. We will have other nights."

That wasn't why I was a bad husband. "I'm sorry," I said even though I knew it shouldn't be enough for what I had done. I had to let go of Zelda. I had to stop thinking about her. I had to stop wanting her.

"Shh, go to sleep."

Instead I bolted upright. If I had sex with Mary, maybe it would make me want her. Maybe I could forget Zelda. I put my hands on Mary's shoulders and pushed her down on the mattress. She was surprised, but she let out a short laugh, a small grin on her lips. I kissed it away.


	13. Chapter 13

_-Zelda_

I sat alone in the library reading something I thought I would be interested in, but wasn't. It had to be after midnight by now. I knew that Link must be in bed with Mary.

Part of me felt sick with the idea, that Link could be touching another woman like he had touched me. Part of me wondered if she was a better lay than I. Probably, because she was a whore.

These feelings were there. I couldn't deny them. But underneath all my selfish petty hate, I was most worried about Link's happiness. I always seemed to have a knack of making him unhappy. I had a habit in our past lives where, whenever our business with each other was at an end, I'd send poor Link far, far away from me. I didn't know why. I guess I started to panic when I saw the old feelings that we had start to come back up. I almost always remembered things before Link did. I always realized before him, what was going to happen, and I tended to stop wanting to see him. I didn't want to go through all this drama over and over again, so I cut off my connections with Link before I could break his heart. It was a good system for me.

I somehow screwed it up during this lifetime though. I'd gotten _way_ too close to him. It was different this time around. We weren't always resurrected to stop Ganon, but that was usually the reason. There had been no sign of him for over 100 years. Of course Link had done numerous other things in this life which would have been hero worthy, but there was a feeling in me that wasn't so sure if his purpose was fulfilled yet.

I could tell myself that this was the only reason why I kept our connections, but that was a lie. I had gotten too attached to him and it was all my damn fault.

In our past lives, Link and me had never been in any sort of relationship other than friends. Sure we might have held hands, had the occasional awkward hug, or maybe a peck on the cheek for a job well done. But all that silliness was easy for me to push away. It was like shooing away a dog over and over again. It was hard, for he was a very cute and adorable dog, but it could be done.

Now, _now_ it was a horrible mess! I could have blamed it on others, saying that they forced me to court the hero, blamed the people for refusing to be silent until they saw me give the hero a good kiss on the cheek, but it was me. It was my fault.

After a long week of listening to me complain about how I've never done anything fun because I had responsibilities and whatnot, Link said, why don't I forget about being a princess for a day, and hang out with him in town. Of course I was opposed to the idea and went on for a great deal of time on how horrible that would be. But something about being around Link wanted me to break the rules. I was always following rules, some of these rules I've manifested in my own head to follow, but I was still following them.

So I did what he said.

He took me swimming, even though I didn't have a bathing suit, and he scared me half to death, pretending to drown. After we had laid in the sun until our clothes were dried, talking about nothing in particular. Then he took me to an archery place, showing off and won prizes for me that I didn't need. And then we went to some sort of dark place with lots of uncomfortable, yet somewhat flattering men and sleazy women who would dance around in a circle, changing dance partners with every verse. I'm not very sure on how Link convinced me to participate, but there I was, dancing with the rest of them. I had counted down to every time when I would be in front of Link. I felt like everything he did was sexier when I was his partner, and I felt like he was doing it on purpose. He was very cocky and at ease the entire time, a side of him that I hadn't seen before. At the castle, he'd be silent with wide eyes as if he was afraid the very walls were going to eat him. Here, with the lower class, Link was king. He knew everyone and their mother and everyone wanted to talk to us and know who I was. We had to continue to correct people that we weren't "together". I was just a friend that was visiting the town, but he would grin whenever anyone would call me his girl. He was showing me off to everyone. I hadn't minded though. I had wanted to be showed off.

At the end of this crazy day, Link had walked me home, helping me over the stone wall that wrapped around my garden. I wasn't really suppose to be in town with him, but it had been easy to tell one person I was at one place with so and so, and tell so and so I was in another place with someone else.

After I told Link that I had a great night, I had supposed that I should give him a good job kiss. It was something we had become accustomed to doing whenever we parted. He had grinned at me, still cocky and proud of himself. I had told him I was going to kiss him on the cheek, but instead, I kissed him right on the lips and watched that grin fall away from his face. It had seemed like a good idea at the time, but it suddenly occurred to me how much I had crossed the line.

"I'm so sorry! I don't know why I did that. I didn't mean to. I-"

He put a hand on my arm. "It's... okay." That's what he said, but it look like he was going to faint, really. "I think, I just had one of those memories. You know the ones from our past lives?"

"Oh yes. Sometimes they do that. You know, come up and then you remember them. Sometimes, in the morning, I get a memory about-" I started to talk about something stupid.

"It's okay, you're still wearing that dress," Not paying attention to me, he pointed to the dress that he had gotten for me, borrowed it from a friend's sister. "So you're still not the princess. You're just Zelda again. So it's okay. It's okay that you kissed me," He had said, "Zelda, again." I remember thinking it odd at the time.

"Yea, I guess so. Since I'm not really _Princess_ Zelda..." I laughed nervously. Link still had his grip on my arm and was looking at me very seriously.

"Can I... Can I ... kiss you?"

I blushed and stopped breathing as I stared back at him. I couldn't speak so I just nodded my head in yes.

Very tenderly, he pressed his lips against mine, like I would break if he wasn't too careful. A strange sort of feeling past over me. I wasn't sure what it was at that moment. We had created a great taboo. We had crossed a bridge that had never been crossed before, but all I really could seem to think about at the time was how I wanted to kiss him again. When he pulled away, I did so. And then he kissed me again.

We probably would have kept at it for a while, if I didn't hear my uncle from inside wondering where I was. I jumped away from Link, and shouted a very quick goodbye before heading in. I didn't even turn to look at him. I think I knew, that I just done something terrible. Link had been offering me his heart forever, but this time, I had taken it, and I wasn't going to be able to give it back intact.

I was eventually going to break it. I always did.

* * *

I could always know what Link was feeling, even when he wasn't around. We had a connection that I couldn't really explain. I'm telepathic at times and sometimes I get precognitions. It wasn't nearly as useful as it should have been and only seemed to work randomly, but often, Link and I shared the same dreams. It wasn't always evident, especially if we were dreaming about being together. It was unclear who's dream it was, but there were times when the dream was most definitely Link's, and nine times out of ten, it was a nightmare.

These dreams happened more frequently when Link still lived at the castle. After the first time he had rescued me, and finding out he was homeless, I was able to convince my uncle to let him stay here for a little while. The dream sharing may have had something to do with our memories coming back too. Link would often dream about things that happened in past lives, and it would confuse him. He'd dream about loosing people he had never met before and not understand why he was so sad. He'd dream about horrible monsters that he had never seen before and not understand why he was so scared.

The dreams kept the both of us up a lot of nights. I wasn't aware at first that the dreams I were having where Link's, for they were just as horrible for me to see as it was for him. I felt what he was feeling. It only became apparent to me that these were Link's dreams when I got the odd dream about me. The kind of dream Link probably wouldn't have wanted me to see. I kept this fact to myself for a while, and would sit outside on my balcony when I couldn't get to sleep.

Link's balcony to his guest room was about ten feet away from mine, and as I sat outside, I could see him through the corner of my eye, watching me from the safety of his room's doorway. I would have shouted a hello to him, but he kept in the doorway, like he was too afraid to come all the way outside, so I let him be. When I noticed that Link seemed to be getting as little sleep as I was, I asked him about it in the morning.

"How did you sleep?"

"Fine," which was what he always answered when asked things like this.

"I saw you watching me last night on my balcony," I said teasingly.

I watched Link's entire face turn bright red. "I wasn't... I wasn't, watching you or doing anything weird," He stammered. "I just couldn't sleep," he finally admitted.

"See? It wasn't so hard to tell me the truth." I smiled at him and eventually he had smiled back.

* * *

The next night, I shouted a greeting to him when I saw him hiding in his doorway. He walked out from the shadows so that the moonlight hit him, and gave me a short wave.

"Since neither of us can sleep, we might as well keep each other company!"

He laughed a little, shaking his head as he leaned against his banister.

"It's too bad we have to shout like this! It's hard to carry out a normal conversation! I would invite you over, but, I don't know how the guards would like that!" I laughed and before I knew it, an arrow with a rope tied to it shot past my head. I lept back in fright.

Link grinned at me. "Still want me to come over?"

I nodded, still shocked that he had shot the arrow so quickly, almost like he had planned this all along.

"Then tie the rope!"

I did so. "Wait, are you going to try to swing over here? What if you fall? What if-OH MY G-" He already jumped and I let out a scream. I looked over the banister. "You idiot! You could have died!"

He grinned up at me as he started climbing the rope. "Good thing you know how to tie a knot or I would be."

I gasped. "And you just assumed that I could before you jumped?!"

"Of course," he climbed over the rail. "I trust you." I let out a breath and fell into one of the chairs that sat on my balcony. He sat on the opposite. "How's your night?"

"Lovely," I answered.

"How come you're always out here, all night, all the time?"

"How come you are?"

"I don't sleep well here. I told you that already. What's your excuse?"

I stared at a spot on my sleeping gown before answering slowly. "I know you don't sleep well. I know you have nightmares. I see them sometimes." I didn't really mean to say it. It just sort of blurted out.

Link stared at me. "What are you talking about?"

"I see things sometimes. I don't know. I guess it has something to with the Triforce of Wisdom."

"What did you see?"

"Just dreams."

"What sort of dreams?"

"Just... just sometimes I see your dreams. And, they're not all that pleasant." I met Link's gaze. He didn't seem to be happy. Maybe he was embarrassed about them. I didn't want him to feel uncomfortable around me. "They scare me," I said.

He laughed. "They scare me a little too."

"You could spend the night over here if you want," I had asked shyly. I liked looking at him. I didn't want him to leave, especially since I had embarrassed him.

"I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Well, how do you plan on getting back to your room? You left your bow over there."

Link suddenly sat up straighter. "You know, I didn't think that through..."

I smiled. "You can share my bed."

"What?!" Link stood up then, suddenly uncomfortable which was not what I had intended.

"When I had nightmares as a child, I'd go into my parents' room. Having someone else around always helped me sleep better."

Link was still staring at me as if I was talking crazy. "I think I'll just stay out here. You can go to sleep."

"I'm not going to be able to get to sleep with you standing out here staring at me the whole time."

"I'm not gonna stare at you!"

"Come on," I stood up and took his hand, leading him inside. "I don't bite." I crawled into bed and gave him a tug to make him get in next to me. He did so, rather clumsily. I arrange the blankets around ourselves and made myself comfortable.

Link was very stiff beside me. "You know, I can't say I'll be able to sleep like this either."

I curled up around him, laying my head on his chest. "Well I can, so at least one of us will get some sleep," I giggled. He didn't say anything. "I can hear your heart beat," I murmured. "It's nice to know that you're alive, instead of seeing you die every night."

I felt his arm move and wrap around me tightly. "It is nice."

* * *

Link would start coming over every night to sleep next to me. There was something sacred and innocent about it. Sure, during the day, sometimes there were heavy make out sessions between him and I. It was very exciting for the both of us, to see how long we could do it without getting caught, Link pushing it to the very limit where I was sure someone was going to see. But that was all just a game for us, really. At night all we did was talk to each other before falling asleep in each other's arms. It wasn't a game then. It was something much more special.

The night before I was to get married, Link asked me if I still wanted him to come over. Of course I did. More than anything.

Knowing that this would be the last time I could be with Link like this, I couldn't make myself happy. I was so distressed that in a rash decision, I decided that I would give my virginity to him. My reasons seemed to make sense at the time. If it was going to hurt my first time, it would be better with someone I trusted whole heartily instead of my much older fiancé who I hardly ever talked to. If I had gotten pregnant, it would easily looked like it could be my husband's child since my wedding night would be the very next day.

All this seemed to justify my decision. I ignored the fact that if I got even closer to Link than I already was, it would be even harder to let him go. I thought I could pull it all off.

I hadn't told Link about the idea until he was already in my room. I was a little afraid he wouldn't show up if I told him. Link got nervous about weird things.

I had spent a great deal of time getting myself ready for him. The whole process of self grooming made me relax a little bit. Having something to be excited about made me forget my sadness.

When Link finally arrived, he gave me a sad smile. I was wearing something that was almost see through with nothing underneath it. Link didn't say anything about it, but he stared at it skeptically. I walked over to him. He had time to say, "Hey," before I started to kiss him. He hesitated. I think it was because during the night we didn't usually do things like this, but knowing that this would be our last night together, he finally put his arms around me and kissed me back. I took his hands and guided them inside my clothes. He suddenly stopped kissing me, staring at me sad and confused. "Zelda," he started slowly. "You're getting married tomorrow."

"I know. That's why I want to do this."

"Do what, exactly?"

I paused. "I want you... to..." I wasn't going to be able to say it now, for I was quite embarrassed. Thankfully Link knew what I was talking about and didn't make me finish the sentence.

He stepped back away from me and let out a sigh, his hands on his hips as he stared at the floor before turning back to me. "Zelda, you don't want that."

"What do you mean I don't want that?"

Link clenched his jaw. "I might not _actually_ be a virgin because apparently, I'm thousands of years old, but I still _feel_ like a virgin, and I'm going to suck." He ran a hand through his hair. "And you might not be a virgin either, but your current body is and it's going to hurt. And you're the princess and you're going to get married and we just don't..."

I started to cry. I felt the tears start going down my cheeks without any control to stop them. I somehow knew he would reject me.

"Shit, don't cry Zelda!"

It was already too late. "I don't care about any of that," I managed to say very quietly. "I just wanted to... Just this once."

Link looked at me, defeated. "Okay. If you want to, sure. Whatever you want."

"Are you just saying that because I'm crying?"

"No, I want to!" He wiped the tears off my cheeks. "I really want to, it's just, you have to promise me one thing."

"What?"

"You're not only doing this because you feel sorry for me or something?"

"Why would I feel sorry for you?"

"Just promise me that you're not."

"No."

"Okay, turn around then."

"Why?"

"Because I'm nervous as all hell and I can't get undressed with you watching me."

I laughed through my tears. "Are you serious?"

"Turn around!"

I did, laughing, the mood suddenly lightening and I was grateful. I waiting for him to finish removing his clothes. "You know, I can see you through the vanity mirror."

"What!?" He immediately covered himself with his hat.

I laughed. "I have to say that you are the sexiest naked man I've ever seen."

He made it to the bed where he could hide himself under the blankets. "And how many naked men have you seen?"

"Out of my current memory...? You."

"Yea, that's what I thought."

I stood there for a moment before taking off my own clothes, letting them drop to the floor. I watch the expression on Link change from amusement to seriousness before he looked away altogether, swallowing hard. I climbed into the bed next to him, touching his cheek to get him to look at me. When he did, his face looked so sad, almost like _he_ was going to start crying and the tears in my own eyes started to fall again.

He kissed me, pushing me down onto my pillow. I tried to find comfort in his kiss, but the deep sadness was so heavy. I felt like it was crushing me. I deepened the kiss as far as I could, trying to find happiness in his warm mouth. For a moment, I relaxed into it before I felt the sadness return to me again.

When Link pulled away, his breath came out in a shudder before kissing me again. I concentrated on the weight of his body so I wouldn't have to think about the heaviness inside me. He kissed me for a long time. I almost thought that maybe that would be all he would do. He eventually stopped to look into my eyes.

"You know, every time I see you, no matter what life it is, I always feel like you're the more beautiful thing I've ever seen." He gave a short laugh and wiped the tears from underneath my eyes with his finger. "Even when you're crying." He rested his forehead against mine and closed his eyes. "I can't stand it," he breathed. "I can't stand it."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and lifted my hips to rub against his, reminding him what I wanted. He gave a sharp intake of breath, then he kissed my neck. I wasn't sure if he was trying to comfort me, or himself.

It seemed to take forever for him to get inside me. There was a lot of awkward fussing about, but I forgave him for all this. He was very nervous. He didn't know what he was doing. I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't make a sound through the pain. To tell the truth, I wasn't sure what hurt more, being physically pushed open like this, or knowing Link could only do it once.

Link would mutter sorry over and over again. I had just hoped that he knew I wasn't upset with him. I was just upset. I brought his head to me to kiss him, grinding my hips against his, even though it hurt a little. I felt him grunt inside the kiss. I wanted him to know that I had wanted him. That it was okay. But it was so hard to convince him that when I couldn't keep my eyes from crying.

When it was over, he held me tightly against him, and started to ramble. I hadn't stopped crying through out the whole thing. I felt like I ruined the moment. I had to remind myself that Link was still here. I was still with him. I clung to him desperately, hiding my face into his chest as I listened to him ramble.

"If you really wanted to, you wouldn't have to get married. You could let your fiancé run the country and just stop being a princess. He's a pretty decent guy. He could probably run a country. And then you and me could be outlaws and live the rest of our lives in hiding, living off the land and never really bathing and being dirt poor. I mean, who wouldn't want that? That old Mage would probably come after us... I could just kill him."

For a moment I thought Link was being serious, but of course he wasn't. He would never want me to abandon my country. We had worked so hard for it. At least, I didn't think he would ever want me to abandon my country.

I had said okay very sleepily into his chest and he laughed.

"Some heros we would be if we did. Us, the Triforce carriers. Major fail." He was stroking my hair. It felt really nice. He was silent for a long time before speaking again. "Zelda?" I was too tired to answer, but he kept talking anyway. I think he thought I was sleeping because his voice was so quiet it was hard to hear it. "I was suppose to tell you something. I was suppose to tell you, that I was in love with you." He was silent for another moment, his fist tightened in my hair and he pressed his mouth into my head. "I love you."

I had wanted to tell him I loved him too, but I had fallen asleep before I could.

In the morning, he was gone, somehow managing to leave without waking me. I didn't see him again until the wedding, and confessing my feelings for him then would have felt wrong.

It had been a mistake. I didn't think enough of Link's feelings before I asked him to take my virginity. I shouldn't have asked him of that when I knew I couldn't be with him. Pushing him away would seem even more impossible.

But somehow, Link had found a wife, all on his own. He had gotten married, and started a new life, all on his own. I hadn't done any pushing.

Maybe I had been going about this all wrong. Of course we had that little accident in the broom closet, but if I hadn't started crying like a love sick teenager, Link wouldn't have felt sorry enough for me to do that. I had to just pretend that I didn't want him, and maybe he would stop wanting me.

Of course I didn't want him to stop wanting me. Flashes of memories would come back to me from our younger days, the sneaking around, the way he looked at me when no one else was watching, the way he subtly press his leg against mine when we sat together at a table. I used to think those things were the sexiest things ever. The excitement had brought happiness to my life, the things I look forward to in my day. All that was gone once I'd gotten married.

I had desperately tried to get those feelings back when we were in the broom closet. I had to learn to let things go. All of that should be in the past now.

I had to make sure it never happened again. I thought I could. I didn't really have to 'push' Link away. It wasn't like he wasn't trying to do the right thing. The whole problem was that I was doing the wrong thing, and Link was conflicted on what he should do, and what I wanted him to do.

I suddenly let out a breath and closed the book I was reading. It was simple actually. All this time, I kept telling myself how in love Link was with me, and how difficult it would be to turn him away. Link wasn't the difficult one, I was the difficult one. Link was sleeping with his wife right now, as he should be.

I mean, I had known that this was all my fault, but the solution to the problem wasn't clear to me until now. The most easiest person to control, is yourself. Once I figured out how to fix the problem, I vowed to change myself.

I had thought it would be easy.


	14. Chapter 14

_-Link_

It was funny how life went on without giving a shit on how you felt about it. I was having a hard time deciding if I was happy or not. I mean, I wasn't unhappy. I liked being with Mary, but I just wasn't happy either. Not really.

I had thought that after the first time I slept with Mary, I could forget about Zelda. To tell the truth, I didn't even remember that first night, I was so drunk. I wasn't sure if it even happened. I might have just passed out.

I was afraid to ask her. I didn't know what I did that night. I was almost hoping I did pass out. Better than doing something else completely terrible. Mary never said anything. She didn't talk about things likes that.

Things fell into a routine. We were working on the house most days. Mary refused to let me do it on my own. Sometimes I'd go out into the woods to catch dinner, or she'd go into town to buy something. When it rained, we stayed in her wagon. When it didn't, we slept outside. I guess all these things should have been romantic.

At night, I'd always let Mary start anything between us. Partly because I was kind of embarrassed about what happened the first time, and partly because I didn't know if she wanted it or not. I thought Zelda was hard to read. I couldn't read Mary at all. I thought she liked it. She acted like she did when it happened, or at least I thought so. For a little while I was afraid that maybe I was just terrible at sex. For someone who's used to being magically brilliant at everything, the idea was hard for me to take in. Then I realized I was just being paranoid. If Mary didn't like something, she'd tell me. She _always_ told me when she didn't like something.

Mary seemed so emotionless all the time, but she really wasn't. She laughed and made jokes, got angry and shouted. All normal human being things. But she never seemed truly excited. She never really cried over anything. Never really serious. She was just always in the middle.

At least she wasn't unhappy. I wasn't unhappy either.

But I can't say if I was happy.

If I tried to think about all this too hard, I was going to drive myself crazy. I concentrated on working on the house. Doing things always made me feel better.

Mary and me where hauling logs with the horses from the edge of the woods that we had cut up a while ago. We didn't talk all that much. Every once in awhile, one of us made a comment. I guess I'm not much of a talker anyway.

We were just hitching up some more logs to the horses when Horus suddenly showed up, riding on his scrawny unhappy looking mule. If I had to carry Horus' ass around, I'd be unhappy too. "Mary, you got a letter."

Mary peered around her horse to eye Horus. "What do you mean? I don't get letters."

"It's from your mother."

"It is not!"

"It is too. Says here from a Mrs.-" Mary grabbed the letter from him before he could finish.

"What in all hell could she want?" She mumbled as she tore open the envelope.

"You have a mother?!" I finally said. Both Mary and Horus turned to look at me.

"Well, of course I have a mother!"

"She didn't come to the wedding. You've never mentioned her at all before."

"You have never talked about your mother before."

"My parents are dead. I just assumed everyones else's are too if they don't talk about them." I felt the air tense after I said this. I hadn't really meant to make people feel uncomfortable. I was just surprised. I pointed at Horus. "Do you have a mother?"

"Yes, I have a mother."

"Horus has a mother." I turned to Mary. "What else do you have? You have a father too?A brother? An evil twin sister?"

She gave me a shove. "My parents are separated. I don't know my father. And trust me, you do not want to know my mother."

"Why not? I like meeting new people."

"She already hates you."

"She hasn't even met me yet. How do you know that?"

"She said so right here," She pointed to a line in her letter. I narrowed my eyes to read it. 'Whoever the man is that was desperate enough to marry you, I hate him!'

"Okay, that's not very nice..."

"She's not a very nice person!" Mary sighed. "She's upset that we didn't invite her to the wedding."

"If we had, maybe she wouldn't hate me so much," I mused, letting go of Epona's reins to cross my arms. The horse wasn't going anywhere anyway. "If you just explain to her, that her crazy daughter never mentioned to me that she existed, then your mother would probably love me. Everyone loves me."

Mary rolled her eyes. "Not everyone loves you."

"Horus love me. Right Horus?" I put Horus on the spot, but it wasn't like he didn't deserve it.

"Well, I wouldn't say that I would marry you, but you do have a special place in my heart."

"See?"

Mary sighed in exasperation. "You're not nearly as cute as you think you are, and my mother doesn't love anyone!"

"Let me meet her."

"_Oh_ no! Trust me, Link. I am doing you a favor."

Horus gave me a look. "Trust her, she's doing you a favor."

Mary groaned as she finished reading the rest of the letter. "She wants to visit us."

"That would be great and all, except we don't have a house. How she like camping?" Mary ignored me.

"I have to go over there before she gets here!" She looked up at the sky. "I'd have to leave now if I want to get to the train station before dark."

"Now?"

"I'll be back in less than a week."

"A week?!"

"Three days at the very most!"

"Fine. I"m coming with you."

"You can't come with me!"

I looked at Horus to see if Mary was acting as crazy as I thought or if _I_ was the unreasonable one. Horus just gave me a sort of lost look, trying not to get involved into the situation.

"Link, just trust me. I'll go alone, talk to her calmly, and once I think it's okay for her to meet you, you can meet her."

"Seems to me that you're just trying to get out of working on the house," I grinned. I was kidding, but I felt sort of wary of her all of the sudden leaving like this.

Mary looked at Horus. "Horus could help you."

"I don't know," Horus said, looking up at the sky. "My back hasn't been feeling right..."

"It's fine. Go." I wasn't going to question her. I had promised not to.

"I'm gonna need one of the horses."

"Yep." I unlatched her horse from the log it was pulling and undid its harness. She hopped onto the big animal without any help from me. I never understood how she was able to do that. She was so small compared to that horse.

She looked down at me. "You're not gonna pout are you?"

"I'm not pouting."

"Less than three days," she said and kissed the top of my head. "I love you."

"Sure you do," I grinned. She left at a trot. Horus looked at me and said quietly. "You might want to keep tabs on her."

"Why? Does she not actually have a mother?" I was sort of startled at the thought that Mary could be cheating on me. Not that I didn't deserve it. It just would surprise me.

"Oh she has a mother alright. And her mother is just as bad as she says, but Mary's always been kinda flighty. Might just want to make sure your kids are yours, you know?"

I frowned at that and leaned against Epona. If Mary ever did cheat on me, I would have to forgive her. I'd probably forgive her even if I hadn't already done it once. But if Mary had kids that weren't mine, that defeated the whole purpose of me going through all this. "If she's not happy, she should just tell me."

"I didn't mean to make you all suspicious like now. She really likes you. Just what I've seen in the past is all. Forget I said anything."

I grinned at him, shoving the negativity I was feeling down where I kept all my other negative thoughts. "So, how are you at making houses?"

"Well if you look at the time!" He looked at his wrist as if he had a watch, but he didn't. "Johny wanted me to do that thing with him... See you later!" He kicked his mule and it left in an uneven jog.

I looked at my own horse. "Well Epona, looks like it's just you and me again." She lipped my ear and I smiled. As far as I was concerned, it always should be that way.

I worked for a few hours, the structure and most of the walls were already there. My goal had been to finish that and start the roof the next day, but when I heard thunder start to roll overhead, I tugged on Epona to make her go faster. She swished her tail in annoyance, but did make her walk a bit faster. If it started raining, I could go over to where Mary kept her wagon with Horus, but I wasn't really in the mood to spend the rest of the day with him and his friends. I was in a bad mood and I knew, if I was forced to hang out with annoying people, I might snap and say something I shouldn't. I thought if maybe I could get part of the roof done before it started to pour, I could just stand underneath that until the rain stopped.

I clicked at Epona to go faster. She went into a trot for me, but I knew she didn't like it. She was already hauling a huge log behind her. "Epona, if you do this for me, I'll let you stand in the house with me when it starts pouring rain. I won't ever tell Mary." Of course the horse didn't understand me when I talked to her. It was a sort of a habit I had developed. Sometimes she was the only one around I had to talk to.

I worked as fast as I could, even as the rain started to drizzle. I thought it would be bearable. It rained like that for about an hour and I was so close to starting the roof, but out of no where it stared to down pour. It rained so heavily that I couldn't see two feet in front of me. I heard Epona nicker at me. I wondered if she knew I broke my promise, 'cause there was no roof for us to stand under.

I undid her harness and she did a little prance as I did it, just as unhappy with the rain as I was. I thought about going into the woods. The trees would help shelter the rain if only a little. I didn't know how long it was going to rain though, and part of myself wanted to get into dry clothes and sleep for the rest of the day. Maybe I should just suck it up and go to the wagon.

I hopped on top of Epona bare back and nudged her to go. The only problem with my plan was where the damn wagon was. Horus liked to move it on us. Technically, it was his wagon. Mary was only renting it, but I couldn't see any purpose for Horus to need it. It just had all of Mary's and my stuff in it, and none of my stuff that had any value, so I think he just kept taking it back with him to make it harder on me. It was the only conclusion I could think of.

On a normal day, finding Horus was easy. Those brightly painted wagons are not something you can easily miss, but today I couldn't see a damn thing. I hoped Epona would have more sense than me, and let her lead the way. If she could find any shelter at all, even if it was a tree, I'd be forever thankful.

Right when I thought I was going to die from pneumonia, I head Epona's hooves click on stone rather than sink into mud. We were in town. I smiled and patted Epona's drenched neck. Now, I just needed to find an inn, take off my clothes and sleep for the rest of the day.

Before I could decide on what inn to go to, Epona made up her mind and headed straight to the royal stables. I supposed it would have made sense to her. That's where we usually head first when ever I came to town. I hadn't realized that's where she was taking me until we were at the stable entry way.

I tightened the reins and tried to make her turn around. "Nope, girl. Not today," I muttered, but she tightened herself up and refused to budge. I guess she was still mad at me for making her work so hard and then get stuck in the rain. "Okay, come on you stupid horse..." After a tried to turn her around with my leg and realizing asking her nicely wasn't going to work, I gave her a boot. Epona responded by being a bitch. She spun on her hunches, pretending to do what I was asking her for by spinning around 180 degrees away from the stable entry way, but as soon as her front feet touched the ground, she spun around again, bolting into the stable.

I sat on top of her for a moment, too tired to fight her. "Okay, you win. I hope you're happy." She responded by shaking herself like a dog, jarring my teeth together. I slid off of her and threw the reins to the ground somewhat violently. Epona just stood there with her head done, giving me a lazy look. I went off to go find a towel.

When I came back, their was a bunch of stable boys already wiping her down. "Sir Link! Don't worry about drying her off! We got it covered!"

"That's alright... I can do it myself..." But there were already four of them drying her off and I knew they'd be done taking care of my horse before I could shoo them away. I tried anyway. "You know how she gets sometimes with strangers..."

But Epona was very happy with the extra attention. Especially with the boy that was now feeding her sugar. "No we got this Sir Link! Please go carrying on your business with Queen Zelda."

I should have said I wasn't here to see Zelda. I was just here to get out of the rain. I don't know why I didn't.

I stared at Epona, and couldn't help but think she was a traitor. Now I really was on my own.

I left the barn and stood in the rain. I didn't want to just hang out at the barn because the stable boys would wonder why I wasn't going to see Zelda. I also needed to do something. The Goddesses knew how dangerous it was for me if I had nothing to do. I could have gone some place in town, but for some reason, I found myself walking toward the castle.

I walked there in a sort of daze. Maybe I could just wander around the castle until the rain stopped. It was easy for me to get in, and easy for me to get lost. The entire building seem to be built to show how much I didn't belong there. Every ornamental, gold decoration looked down at me in my dirty, sweaty, rain soaked clothes. I was making loud squishing noises as I walked down the marble halls.

What was I doing here?

I was suddenly aware that there was someone behind me. I turned around and saw a guy mopping up my muddy foot prints.

"Uh, I'm sorry about that..."

The man grumbled something at me, and kept going unto his mop ran into my boot. "Well go on!"

I started walking again, but now feeling even more uncomfortable with the mop man tailing me. I didn't know where I was going or where I wanted to go. I was just aimlessly wandering.

"Where do you think you're going?" I stopped and the mop man glared at me. "The Queen is that way!" He pushed me with his mop in the direction he had pointed at and then started to heard me with his mop.

When I realized what my destination was going to be, my heart started pounded so loudly I was sure everyone in the hall way could hear it, including all the guards that lined the wall. My stomach dropped and I was too nervous to say anything. Things started to happen too quickly. People were running around, announcing that I was here, acting as if my being here was of importance. It wasn't. I hadn't come here to see Zelda. I wasn't _supposed_ to see Zelda. I wasn't even supposed to be here. I was suddenly very afraid. There was really only one more purpose for me to go to the castle.

To have Zelda dump me.

She always did eventually and she was way over due in this life. But then again, I was already married. It wasn't like we were together for her to dump me. It wasn't like I was doing anything wrong. There was no reason to turn me away. I wasn't after her or anything. I was _married_.

Before I knew it I was in front of a door that opened for me and pushed into a room. It was the library I guessed, since the room was filled with books. I had seen Lance first. He had looked at me surprised and maybe a bit worried.

Zelda was sitting at a table. My blood stopped when she looked at me. She was just as beautiful as ever. Of course she was. She stood up, just about to panic. I hadn't realized how ominous my presence must be. I show up out of no where soaking wet. What reason to do so, but to bring bad news?

"Link what's wrong?!"

I couldn't think of anything to say, so I just stood there, dripping water onto the floor and trying to remember to breath.

"Somebody help him!" Zelda shouted.

"I'm alright," I said quickly. "Nothing's wrong."

Zelda stared at me like she didn't believe me. She never believed me when I said things were fine. "You're as pale as a ghost, and soaking wet!"

I shrugged. "It's raining outside."

Zelda looked at the window and then back at me. She sighed. "Okay, let's get you out of those clothes." My lips twitched into a grin at the comment. I don't know why. I think I had lost half my brain in thinking this situation was funny. Zelda saw and knew what I was smiling at and gave me a glare. She shooed everyone away from me. People had started to crowd me when they thought I was hurt. "Follow me."

I followed, my head down like I was a guilty dog. Saying I had just come to get out of the rain should be innocent enough, right? It's not healthy to be out in the rain. Of course there were a million of other places I could have gone.

I realized we were heading for Zelda's bed chambers. Zelda's entourage of people that followed her everywhere were with us, so it wasn't like we were going to be alone in her bed chambers. But still, I hadn't been in there for a long time.

When we got there, I tried not to step on any of the carpet that was in the room. "Take off you clothes."

I turned to look at Zelda. "What?"

"Leave you pants on, for goodness sake! There are towels in the bathroom." Zelda turned her attention away from me to her vanity where she started to take off her earrings, and Zelda's maids herded me to the bathroom. I took off my hat and they took it from me, ringing it in the bathroom sink, and another started to unbuckle the straps to my gloves. I just kept repeating "Thank you," somewhat sheepishly because I didn't know how to make them stop.

Thankfully Zelda came to save me. "He doesn't need help undressing, for crying out loud!" She practically slapped them away from me. "Somebody go find him some dry clothes that will fit him!"

The maids scurried away in fright.

"Most of them are new," Zelda said to me apologetically. "But it's like they all just hit puberty or something."

I turned away and pulled off my tunic and undershirt all at once, shaking my head to get my hair out of my eyes before I bent down to take off my boots. I felt a very soft and probably expensive towel laid on my back. When I looked up, Zelda had already left the bathroom and had gone over to Lance.

With my boots off I went back into the bedroom. "Lance, you can wait outside in the hall way," Zelda said to him.

"Wait... what?" Lance blinked.

"What do you mean 'what'?!" Zelda asked angrily.

"You want me to leave the two of you alone in here with Link half naked?"

Zelda almost screamed out her words. "We're going to talk about important Triforce business! What other reason would Link be here if it wasn't for that?! This isn't a conversation for just anyone else to here!"

Lance looked over at me where I was innocently trying to warm my toes in Zelda's carpet. "Important Triforce business?"

"Yea, important business... about the Triforce..." I said. Lance gave me a funny look. He most definably knew I was lying. I was surprised that Zelda didn't realize it too, but at the moment she was just too angry at Lance for not leaving to really pay attention to what I was saying. The real reason why Lance was staring at me so hard was that he couldn't tell if I was being sarcastic or actually trying to lie to him.

I didn't even know what I was trying to do. I just stood there with my brain turned off.

"You heard him! Now get out!" Zelda pushed Lance toward the door.

"Okay... but if you scream, I'm coming in here. And the maids are coming back with clothes for Link."

"I know that! I sent them!" Once Zelda had succeeded in getting rid of Lance, she turned to me. "Alright, what did you come here to tell me?"

I stood there, staring at her. What did I come here to tell her? That I was in love with her? That I wanted to kidnap her from here and steal her from her people. That I wanted to leave my wife and have a bunch of forbidden children with her? I just stood there.

Zelda was having a hard time keeping her eyes on my face. They kept slipping down my body. It made me grin to myself. "I'm sorry, what did you say?" She took another breath.

I hadn't said anything. "Nothing," I answered, which was answer to both of her questions. "I didn't come here with anything important to say. It was raining and I was just wet and cold, so I came here."

"Oh! Okay. That makes sense." It didn't really. Not why I had come _here_ to get out of the rain.

"So you didn't really have to send Lance away."

Zelda waved her hand. "I can't stand him anyway. And besides, if anything bad happened to me, you're here."

"Yea," Nothing to worry about. I'd just stand here, half naked with unholy thoughts that I half intended to carry out. Part of me was angry actually. I was always angry but now I felt angry with Zelda. I was glad that she was having a hard time looking at me. This was the girl that had broke my heart about a hundred times, and now she was letting me stand in her room like this. Part of me just wanted to get it over with. I knew she was going to do it again sometime. She had broke it every single other time.

Well, every single time except the first time. That was my fault.

Zelda sat on the chair in front of her vanity, ripping her gaze away from me. "So how have you been doing?"

I shrugged. "Fine. Normal."

"How was the wedding?"

I laughed. "You'd be glad you missed it. Pretty lame actually. Lots of drunk people."

Zelda frowned. "That's too bad. Mine was _beyond_ lame. I would hope yours would be more exciting."

"Well it was exciting, but in the bad, drunk kinda way..." I felt like I wanted to puke again just reliving the memory. I heard Zelda laugh at me. "So..." I looked around the room that I hadn't been in for years. "The bed's different." I don't know why I said it. I should have kept my mouth shut.

"Oh yes. My parents' bed. The _royal_ bed. Sleeping in it is supposed to make me more fertile." She laughed. "Doesn't seem to be working though. Stupid thing."

Part of me wanted to throw her on it and have my way with her. I asked instead, "How did they get it in here? It wouldn't fit throu-"

"I don't know," Zelda said. "I have no idea!"

"Where is the King?" I asked. I had just realized I hadn't seen him.

"Oh, he's off on some hunting trip."

I looked out at the window. "Raining pretty hard for a hunting trip."

Zelda made a noise as she looked out the window. "I wonder if he'll come home. He's been planning it for a while so he may just stubbornly stay out there. He hardly ever gets to go."

"Didn't he go hunting last week? Remember, during the wedding?" I knew he hadn't gone last week. Thought I'd mention it anyway.

"Oh, _that_ one got canceled," she lied.

I grinned at her. "He's probably fine. The trees block most of the rain." I should have just had the trees shelter me from the rain, too. I shouldn't have come here.

"You think so?"

"Yeah, nothing to worry about."

She was now staring at her vanity mirror. She was trying modestly avoid looking at me, but failing for she was watching my every move in the mirror. "How's Mary?"

"She's fine. She's actually visiting her mother right now."

"Oh." There was an awkward silence. With both of us knowing that our significant others were away, being alone in this room with her seemed even more dangerous.

"How have you been?" I asked walking up to stand behind her. I peered at her in the mirror.

She laughed and turn her gaze away to something else. "Same old same old bull shit. I'm a little stressed out, but it's over nothing of real importance. I just get really _ticked_ off when certain people don't listen to me. When anybody doesn't listen to me. Like this one time at a council meeting, my husband is hardly ever at these meetings, but this time it was his own fault. He was in the bathroom with bloody bowels. I _told_ him not to eat the crayfish. He's allergic to them. He doesn't believe me. He said if he's allergic he'll get hives. Well _somethings_ gone wrong hasn't it? So I'm all alone at the council being teased at and somehow, someone mentions how I'm too busy playing King to have an heir, and that we should just switch roles. Maybe my husband _should_ have the child! So I stand up and make this big scene, and my husband gets embarrassed, because you know how I get. Things just come out of my mouth!"

I put my hands on her shoulders immediately stopping her rant. I laughed. "Calm down. They're just having fun. It's obvious you have the balls in the relationship." I started to rub her shoulders. It was kind of subconsciously really.

"Having the balls is a good thing?"

"Yes it's a good thing."

"That feels good," she said quietly.

"Well you got a lot of knots in your shoulders from freaking out too much. Like right here." I pushed on a spot

She winced. "Ow..."

"See what you're doing to yourself? Who gives a shit about what the council people think? You'll have an heir. People these days are having children older anyway. You've got plenty of time. And we're lucky we have you around when the King makes less than wise choices about seafood. Is it any better?" I asked about the shoulder. I could feel her relaxing into my hands already.

"Forget the Triforce of Courage. You're new job is Royal Masseur. No more missions for you."

I laughed a little but didn't stop rubbing her shoulders. "Does that mean I have to do the King? No offense to him, but touching another dude makes me feel weird."

"Oh no. You're mine. I don't share."

I subtly slipped my thumbs inside the fabric of her dress, letting my fingers trail across her skin. My head dropped closer to hers, and I could see her skin goose bump where my breath hit her neck. She smelled so good.

"Who's going to tell the old Mage about my career change?" I breathed.

"The King. He's due to do something useful anyway."

I kept thinking about the time the two of us were together in the closet. I wanted her now as I had then, but I didn't want it to happen like it did. I had felt bad. It was over too fast. I wanted to have her on a real bed, where I could do things properly. I wanted to make her feel good without worrying about impregnating her or hiding from other people. I wanted to doze with her after and not care about anything.

Zelda suddenly stood up. I must have done something out of her comfort zone. I should have put some space in between us, but instead I just stood my ground.

Here I was, trying to seduce her. Maybe that had been my intention all along. Maybe that's why I had come here from the start.

I understood, why Zelda and me weren't supposed to ever be together. I understand the whole balance of the three Triforce carriers and being reborn over and over again. Weird shit, but I've seen weirder. It wasn't like I didn't know what I was doing.

But I absolutely hated being told I couldn't do something.

I've been told I couldn't do a lot of things, and each time, I had proven them wrong. I had been told to not go to many dangerous places. I've gone through them and back again. I had been told I couldn't beat an assortment of people in an assortment of things. I've beaten them all. I was told I couldn't defeat Ganon by the pig himself. Where was he now? Defeated.

I was told I couldn't have Zelda. In the back of my mind I wondered if that was the reason why I wanted her so much.

All my lives, I had been told what to do. I always did it all. I has to. It was my destiny. But I didn't like thinking destiny had complete control over me, and every once in a while, I dis something very stupid just because someone told me I couldn't.

This was probably the worst character flaw I had. Most times, my stupid plans seemed to work out in the end. It was really luck that seemed to save me.

But I wasn't lucky all the time. I've had gotten myself killed by being stupid before.

We stood in front of each other for a long time. I watched her face steadily, watched it fall apart from her perfect composure. "I'm sorry," she finally managed to say. She pulled her gaze away from me. "Here I am, complaining when you're standing there in wet pants, probably freezing!" She touched my shoulder. I closed me eyes at the contact before she quickly took it away. "Actually you're quite warm." She let out a nervous laugh. "I wonder what's taking them so long to find you clothes."

All I was thinking about was how to get her to shut up and kiss me. We were standing too close for a normal conversation. Tilting my head down I could feel heat radiating off of her own.

She licked her lips, which drove me crazy. "Did you want to see if I can find any pants of my husband's? I don't know if you'd feel weird wearing the King's clothes. I'm sure he wouldn't mind if he knew the situra..." her voice grew quiet until it stopped. Her eyes half lidded as she stared at my mouth. I touched our noses together and she kissed me.

I felt relief, bliss, comfort. All the bullshit I've had to deal with was gone. It was just warmth and the pleasant sensation of having my lips locked with hers.

And then she ripped them away. "Farore, what am I doing?!" She backed away from me. "I'm so sorry! I don't know what's wrong with me. I promise I'll-"

I touched her arm. "Stop... talking..." I managed to make myself say, before kissing her again. I felt her sigh and relax into the kiss. Whatever she was about to promise, I was pretty sure it was broken now. I let my hand slip off of her arm only for her hand to rise and press against my chest. Maybe it was to stop me, but I didn't care at the moment.

There was a knock on the door and Zelda spun away from me with a scream. Lance poked his head in. "Okay, I heard a scream."

"Oh!" Zelda started to fan herself with her hand. "The door knock startled me! I'm alright. Goodness. Me being all jumpy!" She was bright red like she had just run a mile.

"Uh-huh, clothes are here." The maids walked past Lance into the room with folded up clothes.

"Of course, set them in the bathroom where he can change." I don't know if that was a signal for me to go over there and change, but I stayed where I was.

Lance waited for the maids to leave before he spoke again. "So, are you two done talking about your Triforce stuff?"

"Well, actually," Zelda started, but I interrupted her.

"No."

Lance looked at me.

"We're not finished," I said, more quietly but I kept my eyes lock on his. There was a pause, almost like a stand off between the two of us. Lance was Zelda's bodyguard. He had the right to throw me out, but I wasn't going to budge, not without a fight.

Finally Lance gave in, rolling his eyes. "Okay, okay... But I _don't_ know anything." He left, closing the door behind him.

Zelda stared at the closed door, probably surprised that Lance had left so easily. I touched her shoulder and as soon as she turned to look at me I was kissing her again, allowing my hands to travel down her body and digging my fingers into the folds of her dress. She moaned out a little noise and before I knew it, she was attacking me. The force of it took me by surprise really. Moments ago she seemed like she was going to have the sense to say no to me, but now, her fingers were ranking down my body as if she was trying to claw me to ribbons. Not that I really minded. She pushed me backwards until my legs hit the edge of the bed. She kissed me like she was starving and I was the only food source she had had for a long time. I felt needed. I didn't realize I hadn't felt needed before. Mary had always showed me affection. She wanted to be with me.

But Zelda needed to be with me, and knowing that made me happy. I was so insanely happy that when I had enough air in my lungs I started to laugh. She pushed me down on the bed and I fell laughing.

"Should I be on the bed? My pants are all-" She was already climbing on top of me.

"Shut up," she said before kissing me again. I shut up. She was siting on my crotch, not seeming to mind my wet pants at all. Her enthusiasm was cute, but I wanted her to slow down a little. I didn't want this to be over so fast.

I sat up, holding her hips so she wouldn't fall off my lap, kissing her slowly. I looked at her. She returned my gaze breathlessly. I smiled at her, studying her face. Her face wasn't exactly the same every time I met her in a life, but there were features that she always seemed to keep. Her large eyes, her cheek bones, her perfect lips. Always so Zelda and so much beautiful than I could remember perfectly. And the expression she had, the way she was looking at me, made her even more beautiful. I touched her cheek with my hand. Maybe it was the goddess inside her that made her this way.

I feel like you shouldn't touch goddesses. You shouldn't even look at them. You're not worthy to look at them.

But then again, if you had the chance, who wouldn't want to?

I traced my thumb over her hair line, kissing her bottom lip, then her top, then kissing all my favorite parts of her face. She closed her eyes, her delicate and long eyelashes brushing against my cheek.

I felt like I could just kiss her forever. I had wanted to kiss her for so long, life times of wanting to, backed up. I felt like I had to make up for lost time. I don't know what I did to be lucky enough to finally be able to in this life time. I never really seemed to deserve it.

I felt her fingers start to trail against my chest, causing me to shudder. Everything always seemed more sensitive when Zelda touched me. I studied her face a moment longer. I wanted to see her naked. I didn't know if that would be too far. I hadn't come here for this. Had I? But it wasn't like it wasn't already too far. I'd already fucked it up once. Okay twice. What was one more time going to do? If she wanted me to stop, I would stop, but she was going to have to be the one to tell me to.

My hand went down her cheek, over her shoulder, down her tiny waist and across her hips, then down the leg which she had wrapped around me. When my hand traveled back up, they ventured under her skirt until I could feel the bare skin of her thigh. I hooked my finger into her stocking and slowly pulled it down her leg, locking my eyes with hers. I didn't think it was possible, but her face turned into a deeper shade or red and I found it incredibly sexy. When the one stocking was gone, I pulled down the other, just as slowly. Zelda was breathing heavily, her chest expanding and pressing hard against her dress. I squeezed the fabric of her skirts into my fists and pushed them up, my wrists rubbing up her now bare legs. I carefully lifted the dress up and over her head, glad it was a much simpler dress than before. When I could see her face, her head tilted back and her eyes closed, she was just too perfect, that I could feel my throat tightening. I kissed her lips and her eyes opened to look into mine. I kept my eyes on her for a moment, as I delicately kissed her. My fingers finding the ribbons that closed her corset. I unlaced it, my forehead against hers before the hard flat contraption peeled its self away from her skin.

I hadn't see her like this since the night before she got married. She had changed slightly. She was older now, her body more fully matured. There were small marks on her skin where the corset had been pressed too tightly to her body. I absently rubbed at them. She was cold, her skin covered in goosebumps. Sitting on my wet lap probably wasn't helping. It was also making her nipples harden quite distractingly.

I studied her for a while, trying to engrave the image into my memory. She started to get uncomfortable with me, her blush crawling down her neck and chest. She turned away from me. "What are you looking at? Stop staring." She roughly shoved her hand over my eyes, pushing me back slightly. I laughed and leaned over to blindly kiss her face. Then I kissed her hand and fingers as they slowly fell away from my own.

With one arm, I reached out and pulled down the covers of the bed, the other supporting Zelda's head and shoulders as I gently lower her done onto the mattress. I hovered over her, bringing the blankets around us to trap in the heat. I made sure not to touch her with my cold pants. Zelda had told me to keep them on earlier so I kept them on. I also didn't want to do something completely stupid again. I just wanted her to feel good. I was so happy. I wanted her to be happy, too.

I had bent down to kiss her, but she whispered in my ear. "Take them off. They're cold."

I let out a breath that warmed her neck. "Do you... want me to go change into dry clothes?"

"Link, are you serious? I'm practically naked underneath you!"

I sat up. "Fine. Close your eyes."

She laughed at me as she cover her face with her arm. I didn't really care at this point if she saw me take them off or not, but I knew that it would make her laugh if I said so and I wanted to hear her laugh.

I took off my pants, letting her be cold while I found a place to hang them so I wouldn't ruin the floor.

When I returned to my original position, I grabbed her wrists and held them down over her head with one hand. If she wanted to make this more dangerous and harder on me, I didn't want her hands to wander where they weren't supposed to. I had to keep myself under control. It would have been easier with cold wet pants on, but then again the challenge was accepted anyway.

I kissed her startled expression away. I had her hands held down, but she lifted her hips to press up against mine and I let out a groan. "Her Majesty isn't behaving herself..." I murmured.

"Because you are acting like a saint!"

I silenced her by biting into her neck. She moaned and twisted underneath me. I held her down with my free hand, before kissing her lightly on the lips. "Shh..." I kissed her again, trying to get her to calm down. She looked up at me, hypnotized. This power I had over her, I had so selfishly wanted it. I had always been under her thumb. She practically owned my life, but now, she was mine. I gently kissed her jaw bone, up to her ear and then down her neck. I could tell she was getting impatiently with me, wiggling under me. I put my free hand on her hip to keep her still as I slowly nipped at her collar bone. She wasn't allowed to move.

I brought my face lower, into the soft flesh inside her breast. She let out a low moan as I gently sank my teeth into her. It was like biting into a marsh mellow.

She murmured my name, but I couldn't understand what she said after that. I wanted her to say my name again. I moved my mouth over to catch her nipple into my mouth. She suddenly convulsed, letting out a high pitch squeal. I was trying to be gentle so I hadn't expected such a reaction, and one of her hands slipped from mine. I was going to go to a different spot, but she dug her fingers into my hair, and pushed my face back down. With her back arching and her chest being pushed up against me, I felt the hand on her hip that was meant to keep some distance in between us, wrap around her, bringing her closer to me.

I pulled away to take a breath. Zelda had always been kind of loud. There was nothing really wrong with that, except I knew that Lance was standing right outside the door. I had won the stand off, but I was afraid if Zelda screamed too loud, even if it was out of pleasure, Lance would come in here and kick my ass which I deserved 100 percent.

But then again, I didn't really give a fuck.

I ran my tongue down her ribs. She giggled softly, her grip on my head relaxing and I released her other hand as I traveled down her body. I was about to see if I could get Lance running in here. I looked over at Zelda. Her eyes were closed and she obviously wasn't thinking clearly or we wouldn't be naked in her bed. Well Zelda wasn't completely naked just yet. I hooked my finger into her panties as I stared at her face. When I slowly pulled them down, instead of looking at me she just raised her hips to make it easier for me to take them off. I kept my eyes on her face as I continued to kiss around her hips. It wasn't until my mouth was on her core that her eyes flew open with a gasp. I let our eyes lock for a moment before I parted my lips and let my tongue move up her opening. She let out a rather loud hoarse cry and I waited for that door to fly open. As I began to suck, she screamed out my name. I felt if Lance did come in here and tried to stop me, I could just kill him. I was getting sort of high from the taste if her. I felt like I could simply kill anyone that came in here and tried to stop me. I would kill everyone untll it was only Zelda and me.

But Lance didn't come in. Nobody came in. It was just me and her. Her fingers dug into my hair, her other hand gripping the sheets. I felt her body tense up, then release. She pushed my head away and closed her legs.

"Link..." but she was breathing too hard to finish whatever her sentence was. "I..."

"Do you want me to stop?" Her fingers tightening in my hair answered the question for me. She pulled my head to hers and kissed my dirty mouth fiercely. I felt her hand go down my chest and over my stomach, getting lower until I moved it gently away. Instead she traced her finger up my hand until they grasped my wrist.

I looked at her, sorry that I had pushed her hand away but she just kissed me like it hadn't happened, guiding my hand to where she wanted it. She gripped my wrist hard as she pushed my fingers into her.

I suddenly felt emotional. I don't know what was wrong with me. One minute I was angry, then happy, then sad. I was worse than a teenage girl. I knew what would happen when this was all over, when Zelda would come to her senses. She'd tell me we couldn't keep doing this, and she would be right. I would most likely argue with her and she would banish me to make sure I behaved myself. If I didn't come back, she couldn't give into her weak will. A simple, "No, Link," would have sufficed, but Zelda always had to make a big deal about things.

I tried to remember what I had wanted. I wanted to make Zelda happy so I went back to concentrating on pleasing her.

The grip she had on my wrist was hard enough to bruise as I pumped my fingers in and out of her, pressing down with my thumb. I did all that I could think of with just using my hands and mouth, the only safe things I could do. If you could call any of this safe.

I tried to ignore how the sounds she made effected me, the way she held me so tightly. I concentrated on sucking and kissing her skin. It helped a little. I had to keep doing things. I couldn't let myself think, and I tried not to let myself feel.

Maybe, if I could tire her out, and when she fell asleep, I could make my escape without going through the whole talk afterwards. I moved in her faster.

But Zelda wanted more. I felt her hands keep trying to creep lower down my body, and I had to think of some creative ways to keep myself safe, trying to distract her. It would work for a little while, sending her into a little frenzy where she couldn't think straight at all, but soon she would be at it again.

"Link, please," she had whispered. I should have known that this would be a loosing battle since the beginning. Zelda could be very persuasive when she wanted to be. And you know, I was hopeless.

I had become distracted when she spoke, and turned my attention to her face. During that moment, Zelda had managed to get one of her hands past me. I grunted and broke the eyes contact when she grabbed me, guiding me toward her and pulling my hand away with her other.

"I need you,"

Shit.

Maybe I could pull it off again. If I did it quickly, made her happy, pulled out and then figured out a way to deal with myself later after she had fallen asleep, nothing bad would happen. Maybe. I didn't know why I was so certain she would fall asleep. I just really hoped. I couldn't deal with her telling me not to see her again.

I moved my hands to her thighs, adjusting our position slightly. When she realized I was finally going to do what she wanted, she let go of me. I pressed myself against her opening and our eyes locked.

"I love you."

Fuck, I couldn't believe that I said that. As soon as I said it, I saw the clouded lust in Zelda's eyes disappear as more rational thought began to come back. I wasn't supposed to say things like that. Zelda always would freak out a little whenever it was said and I just had to blurt it out right now.

I pushed into her before she could tell me what we were doing wasn't a good idea. Her eyes shut and the worrisome reasoning was gone.

She cried out. I hadn't gone in slowly. I forgotten how tight Zelda could get. Obviously she didn't do this too often with her husband. I found myself pleased with that thought even though I had already told myself I wasn't jealous of the poor man.

I stayed still inside her for a moment, letting her adjust herself while I tried to decide on the best way to do this. I could try moving slowly and carefully, but when I tried pulling out, I realized how sensitive everything was and I wasn't going to last at a slow pace. Fast it was.

My hands tightened on her thighs as I tried to prepare myself for this. Zelda wrapped her legs around me, bringing me closer to her before saying, "Move, Link," in an almost annoyed tone. I slammed into her, gritting my teeth. I don't think she was expecting that because she screamed so loudly that I winced slightly. Her nails dug into my skin as I tried to bring out her orgasm as fast as possible. I thought about the sharp pain of her nails on my back, and the warmth of blood starting to seep out of the scratches. I didn't think about her cries, or how the bed creaked from the movement, or how Lance was sure to hear everything. I didn't think about how Zelda's face contorted with pleasure, or how the cries she made subtly changed when I angled her hips a certain way, or the wet sound of flesh hitting flesh, or how her muscles tightened around me...

Fuck. Fuck the Goddesses. All of them. All their plans could be ruined. The whole world could just go to Hell and I wouldn't care at all. I thought about just giving in. Just letting myself do what I wanted. It would be so easy, but somehow, as my mind floating around the two decisions, time quickly fading away as Zelda's grip on me tightened and the air rushing from her lungs in a low moan, I somehow decided to stick with the original plan of morality. If you could even call any of if moral at all.

I shut my eyes to the image of Zelda in her ecstasy. Discarding the image and concentrating on the black of my eyelids, and then I bit my tongue, hard. The haze of pain enveloped me, blocking out all other feeling for a few seconds. As the pain faded, Zelda laid limply underneath me, her body shifting as she breathed hard. That alone was driving me crazy so I tried to slowly pull out of her. I swallowed down blood so I wouldn't drool it onto her. I was having a hard time not gasping for air.

I let out a cry. I didn't want to, but I couldn't help it. Finally I was out. I turned away from her and collapsed onto the other side of the mattress, my back still touching her arm. I waited and hoped for her to fall asleep behind me. I needed to leave. I wasn't going to come back for a while. Not until she forgot about this incident. Maybe I'd stay away for a month or maybe forever. I didn't know.

I felt her stir behind me and my gut dropped when I realized she wasn't going to go to sleep. Her fingers traced some of the stinging scratches on my back before going around my waist.

"Link?"

"I don't think I'll be able to do that again," I said, throbbing between my legs and just wishing she would tell me to leave as quickly as possible. She put a hand on my shoulder and made me turn to face her.

"You're bleeding. Silly..." She wiped a long strand of blood from my chin, me being too silly to remember how to swallow. Her other hand was still dangerously closed to my hip. She kissed the corner of my lips sweetly, her hand slowly going lower.

"You know," I said. "If anything... if anything happens, it's you're fault." It was easy for me to blame it all on her.

"What?" she said, pulling her hand away a little. I wasn't sure if I was relieved or disappointed.

"I was trying to be good." Well, the word 'good' was a stretch, but still.

"You're the one that came waltzing in here and then told off my bodyguard so you could start kissing me! Like you owned the place. Like you had the right!"

"You took me to your room."

"Well where else were you going to change your clothes?!"

"I'll remember to only take off my clothes in your bed chamber then," I said with a grin.

She sat up, putting a hand around my neck, the one still on my hip. "I could kill you."

"Please," I whispered, and I felt her hand continue its movement lower. "It's dirty," I said suddenly. It felt wrong to let the Queen touch me there. Not that everything I had done wasn't wrong, but Zelda seemed to still have some sort of dignity left intact and I was already too far gone.

"I don't care," she whispered back.

I let out a breath as her hand closed around me. My eyes squeezing shut and my mouth falling open, I made a noise that was dangerously close to a whine. She kissed me. She had gotten quite good at that when we were teenagers, a fact that I had somehow forgotten over the years. She was very gentle over my injured tongue only to bite down on my lips. I couldn't feel the pain though. I was too aware of her hand stroking me slowly. I placed my hands on her face, afraid for some reason that she'd disappear if I didn't hold onto her. None of this seemed real, being naked together, in the royal bed, the Queen touching me.

I started stroking her hair as I kissed her back. It was so soft and silky as it moved through my fingers. My one hand had to return to grip the mattress as she started to move her hand faster. I couldn't concentrate on kissing her anymore, and she moved her mouth to my neck where she sucked on it sharply. My grip tightened on her hair.

That was pretty much it for me.

I clenched my jaw to stop myself from crying out as I felt myself release. Zelda didn't seem to care about the mess. She wiped her hand on her thigh before bringing her leg over to rest on top of my groin and making herself comfortable half on top of me. Her face was pressed against my neck and I could feel her heart beating against my shoulder.

I waiting for her to speak, but she didn't. I felt drowsiness start to pull on my eyes and I let myself relax, falling asleep to the soft sound of her heart beat and the smell of her perfumed hair.

The last thought I could think of before I slipped out of consciousness was how happy I finally was.


	15. Chapter 15

_-Zelda_

I heard knocking on my door, but before I could comprehend why, I was violently pulled up as Link bolted upright. His right arm tightly held me against him while his other flew in front of us protectively.

"Link, calm down! It's only Lance!" I had to pry his fingers from my skin. They dug so deeply that it hurt. Eventually I was able to free myself and scrambled off the bed, looking for a robe to put on.

I cracked the door opened to look at Lance. "What?"

"Are you guys done yet? I'm bored." Really? And I thought someone was coming. I was very happy where I was a few moments ago so of course Lance had to ruin it.

I opened the door wider only so I could have the force to slam it into his face. Then I went back to the bed.

Link was hiding himself under the blanket. It was actually quite comical. If anyone else were to come in here, the other body in the bed would be unmistakable.

I lifted the blanket up to look at him. He peered back at me, a guilty expression on his face. He was just a mess of blond hair, tanned skin and beautiful blue eyes. We stared at each for a moment before he finally spoke. "Hey."

"Hi."

"So, what brings you here?"

I laughed as I crawled back into bed with him. "This is my bed."

"Oh, is it?" He looked around the bedroom for a moment. "So, this is a dream then?"

I smiled at him as I ran my fingers through his hair. It was pretty much dry now. A chill still clung to it from the rain. It had dried the wrong way and I was trying to fix it, but finding it rather difficult. Link's head being on the pillow wasn't helping. "If this is a dream, I have to say it's the best one you've ever had."

He gave me a grin, flashing his white teeth charmingly before he tugged on the tie to my robe. "You know, I don't think it's fair that you can see my dreams. What do you dream about?"

I let him take the robe off of me. "My dreams are not very interesting," I said, as he pulled me close to his warm body. He smelled like rain, sweat and pine trees. Wild things.

"Do you dream about me?"

I laughed at him and didn't answer. "I miss this," I said instead, laying with him. I listened to his heart beat within his chest.

This wasn't a dream. Link had come to the castle, soaking wet from the rain. I had told him to take off his wet clothes. When I had first said this, I had known that it might be somewhat of a distraction to see Link shirtless, but it wasn't like I hadn't seen a shirtless man before. The fact that it was Link, well I was just going to keep my delight to myself when we went over whatever important details Link was going to tell me. This important information was to keep my concentration, even with the pleasant sight of Link before me.

But there was no information. All we had was small talk and that wasn't going to cut it.

And I just didn't expect Link to have abs.

I don't know why. I knew he was well muscled. You could see the line of his biceps underneath his sleeves. Not that I was looking for it. He was in great shape as a teenager and had the beginning of what I guess would have been abs, but he was still a bit on the skinny side.

Now Link was like a God. His shoulders wider than they use to be, made a perfect V shape, as if trying to point my eyes downward to follow the muscles that disappeared into his pants.

My husband didn't have any sort of definition whatsoever. He wasn't fat, but if you poked him, your finger would sink into flesh until you hit bone. If you did that to Link, well...

I'm not someone who normally stares at such things. I should just admit it. I wasn't ready to see him shirtless, but I thought I was handling the situation maturely. At least up to the point where Link started rubbing my shoulders. I couldn't believe him! I didn't know if he was trying to pretend that we were just the best of friends or what, but the move was rather bold of him. I was trying to erase our forbidden encounters before any of it could turn into some sort of huge scandal. It was not appropriate to casually touch each other, no matter how friendly it may have seemed. Did I stop him? Of course not.

And then he tells off Lance as if he owns the place. I'm suppose to tell off Lance!

But I couldn't be mad at Link, as hard as I tried. One look at his face and I always melted a little. This happening again was equally my fault as much as it was his. I should have stopped him. I just wasn't ready to. I hadn't prepared myself. I didn't think I would have to. I actually wondered if I would even ever see Link again. I hadn't realized how happy I was when I saw him. Of course most of that happiness was slightly marred with worry, but Link's calmness made me quench the fears, and I found myself just happy to see him.

I wrapped my arms around him and held him tighter, enjoying the feeling of his skin on mine. I knew how many scars he had now. Most of them where on his back, where he must have twisted away to protect his more vital organs. There where two shorter ones that went over his abs and one rather large one that went across his chest. I kissed the center of it, my fingers grabbing onto the flesh in between the muscles of his neck and shoulders, one of the few softer parts of his body. I realized I scratched his back rather badly... adding onto his collection of scars until they healed away. I would have been sorry for being so violent if I wasn't still almost mad at him. Only almost. He was too beautiful for me to be completely mad at him.

Not to mention the fact that he was completely amazing in bed. I would never be able to compare it to anything. I didn't want to think about it because I knew I'd just make myself want more of it. I would want more of Link's love, more of him touching me and pushing inside of me. I couldn't afford to want more of that. I was beginning to wonder if I could ever bring myself to hate him again.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked. I realized his breathing had changed when I started to touch him.

"I can't tell you," he answered.

I looked up so I could frown at him. It always annoyed me when Link kept things from me, but I guess I deserved it. I hadn't told him what I dreamt about.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked.

"How beautiful you are," I murmured.

He scoffed a laugh. "Um, no. You're the beautiful one." I pressed my face back against his chest. "But," I felt him pick up a strand of my hair, letting it slide from his fingers before picking it up again. "Am I still the sexiest naked man you've ever seen? I'm sure you must have seen others by now, and you've gotten quite a deal of memory back."

I laughed. "Yes, Link. You are still the sexiest naked man I've ever seen." I felt Link sigh in relief. I don't know why he would be concerned with such a matter. I was insanely jealous of his wife, and I was sure there were many others just as jealous. "It's probably the reason why I'm still letting you stay in my bed," I said sternly, remembering my half anger for him.

I felt him swallow before he pulled his arms tightly around me. "Well, you're going to have a hard time convincing me to let go of you, even after I'm fat and old." His voice was dead serious.

I laughed again, trying to push away from him. "I was only kidding," but he held me tightly against him. I felt something unpleasant set inside me. I couldn't picture Link fat and old, because I had never seen him as such. I never would.

"You better get comfortable." There was a determination in his voice and I seriously thought he was going to never let go of me, not until Lance finally came in here and cut off his arms.

I made myself comfortable anyway.

* * *

I slowly slipped back into consciousness, my mouth pressed up against the skin of Link's chest. My heart quickened when I realized Link was still here and I wasn't sure what time it was. Very carefully, I slipped out of Link's arms and looked over at the clock ticking on the wall. It was not yet two. My husband usually returned from his trips around four. I took a deep breath to calm down. I would need to bathe, the sheets would need to be changed and Link needed to leave.

I looked over at his sleeping form. I didn't have the heart to wake him, his breath coming in and out so deeply.

I suddenly remembered a time, a very long time ago, of me scolding Link for sleeping too much. It seemed silly now. Link probably needed the most sleep, with all the physical things he had always done for the country. As I thought about it, I wasn't sure when the last time I had seen Link sleep. Even when he used to come to my room at night, I had always fallen asleep before him, and he had always woken up and left before I was awake. I started to wonder if he slept at all during those nights.

I carefully got off the bed, trying to disturb the mattress as little as possible. Once my feet where on the ground, I gave another look at Link. His arms were stretched outward to where I was moments ago. It looked like he was reaching out to me, and I found it hard to move away. I knelt on my knees, watching him from the edge of the bed, slowly reaching my hand to touch his curled relaxed fingers. He was wearing his wedding ring. My throat tightened when I saw it. It was a plain, simple gold ring. It wasn't even all that shiny, more of a dull gold that hadn't been polished. I guess anything flashier would have looked wrong on him.

I traced my finger around it, thinking about pulling it off and flinging it to the Goddesses knew where. I thought about, somehow hiding Link here in the castle. Whenever my husband was gone, I could just take Link out and have him all to myself. Ridiculous, I know.

Link would still have to breed with that woman.

I tore myself away from him, heading into the bathroom. I closed the door halfway, but didn't care to completely shut it. I turned on the water to the bath, hoping the water would be warm. Usually my maids would prepare the bathtub for me, but obviously sending for them would not be a good idea. Running a bath wasn't a very complicated thing to do. I briefly wondered why I had the maids do it for me at all. I went through the many bottles that were in the bathroom, not one hundred percent sure what I was suppose to use. It was kind of fun actually. Like making a potion in a giant tub. I smelled each bottle, choosing which ones I liked before dumping some of it into the water.

Once I was done with my bath, I would wake up Link, and then I guess I would say goodbye to him. Lost in my thoughts, I watch the tub fill with water.

I heard a crash coming from the bedroom, followed by the sound of Link swearing at my bed. I wondered if Link was always this disoriented when he woke up. I listened to him putter around the room for a moment and wondered if he'd leave. I thought of going out there to bid him goodbye, but I had left my robe on the bed. I wasn't going to bolt out of the bathroom naked.

Suddenly the bathroom door slammed opened. I looked up, startled from my position where I sat at the edge of the tub. Link stood at the doorway, wide-eyed and dressed in his damp pants.

"I'm, I'm sorry," he stammered before turning away from me, like we hadn't been naked in each other's arms moments ago. He started to leave. I quickly spotted the clothes the maids had brought in earlier sitting on the counter. Then I saw the wet clothes in the sink and Link's boots on the floor. He couldn't leave in just his pants!

"Link, come over here."

Link backed up into the room, but didn't turn around.

"I think it might be unwise to waltz out of my room garbed in only a pair of damp pants."

"It would be. That's why I was going to leave off the balcony."

I dipped my foot into the warm water. "You mean that balcony that's on the eighth story?" I slipped into the tub.

"Yea, that one..."

I submerged myself into the water more until it was up to my chin, eyeing him. I wanted him to turn around. I wanted him to come into the tub with me. What was wrong with me? I just needed to let Link put his clothes on so he could leave, and then finish my bath.

Link was now staring at himself in the mirror. He raised his hand to touch a mark that I had left on his neck.

"I'm sorry..." I said.

"It's fine." He covered it with his hand before letting his arm drop.

"Would you like to bathe before you go?" Did I really just say that out loud? What had gotten into me?

Link slowly turned around to face me, his mouth open like he was about to say something, but couldn't figure out how to say it. "You mean," he finally said, "after you're done of course."

"Of course," I answered rubbing my legs together under the water as I stared up at the ceiling. "But as seeing we have only about two hours before my husband gets home, it might make sense to take the bath together considering the time constraints. I take very long baths."

Link had crossed his arms and was leaning up against the counter, eyeing me with a hint of affection I used to always see. The look made me feel somewhat foolish and I tried to hide my embarrassment in the water, the edge of it coming up to my eyes.

He seemed to take forever to say anything, just standing over there, staring at me with a small smile on his lips. He had to be doing it on purpose. I deserved it. I was used to getting answers by snapping my fingers. Link always made me wait for him. He finally spoke. "Wouldn't it be 'unwise' for me to get into a bathtub with the Queen of Hyrule?"

"I am the Queen. I can do whatever the hell I want."

"And it would be wrong for me to disobey the Queen."

"It would be," I agreed, but Link didn't move a muscle. He just stood there, same expression in hand. "For Din's sake, get in the bloody tub!"

He started laughing. It was a beautiful sound really. I hardly ever heard him laugh. "We're a little impatient."

"Must I remind you of my husband's return?"

"Well, I take a pretty quick bath."

"Oh right," I picked up a wash cloth that sat on a stand beside the tube and dabbed it with a drop of soap. "I forgot how quick washing yourself must be when you don't know what soap is." I raised my arm up so I could wash it. This caused my breast to surface the water and Link had lost the amusement in his eyes. He was now staring at me as if I was the most interesting thing in the world. "It's a shame. You really don't know what you're missing."

Very slowly Link took off his pants. He didn't tell me to look away and I didn't. He climbed into the tub, his legs going to either side of me. There wasn't much room, but as soon as he was settled he looked at me. "So tell me about the wonders of this 'soap'." His lips twitching into a grin.

I scootched closer to him. "Well, it's a substance used with water for washing, made of a compound of natural oils or fats with sodium hydroxide or another strong alkali."

He winced. "Sounds complicated."

"I'm sure you can handle it." I began to wash his face with my cloth, carefully going around his eyes, down his cheeks and across his forehead. He let me do this for a moment, before grabbing my head and kissing me. The delight that I always felt whenever Link kissed me, filled my body. He would do it so suddenly, make me wait forever and then surprise me. I reached up to touch his jaw, his skin slightly rough where he shaved it. He caught my bottom lip with his teeth, pulling on it, opening my mouth more so he could make the kiss deeper. I tucked my legs underneath me, raising myself up so that I had height over him. I dug my finger into his hair and fought for dominance. I was such a control freak.

He dipped his hands into the water, lifting me up and settling me on his lap with my legs wrapped around his waist. I felt like I belonged there. I clung to him, enjoying the way his skin felt underneath the warm water. I felt Link start to slide more into the water from pushing my weight on him.

Link looked up at me. "So this is how you use soap?" My cloth had been forgotten, floating in the water. "I think you're doing it wrong."

I gave him a skeptical look. "I'm pretty sure it's been you that keeps starting all of this."

"You're not stopping me. You order me to get into the tub with you."

"So what?"

"I thought you were the responsible one."

"I'm sick of being the responsible one," I hissed at him, before kissing him again.

"That's kinda hot," he breathed.

"Shut up." I needed to overpower him. I needed him in my control. He was suppose to be mine. I bit the lobe of his ear, tugging on it with my teeth. He took a breath. It was such a little reaction, but enough for me to find victory in it. I wanted to know all his reactions. I wanted him to do something because of what I did to him.

I found the spot on his neck where I had marked him, putting my mouth right above the spot. It was already there. It wouldn't matter if I made another one. He put a hand to my head, digging his fingers into my wet hair as he struggled to breath.

I sat up, trailing my fingers down his chest into the water. His eyes were so trusting. I wondered if I was killing him, letting him be here. Like feeding a stray dog who would only starve later; I would love him only to make him leave. His breath came out harder as I touched him.

He had told me he loved me. I couldn't bring myself to say it back. I wasn't suppose to be allowed to love him back. I wanted to. I wanted him so badly. This was the only way I could tell him.

I lifted myself up so I could push him inside me. He made no protest, like he'd done before. He just looked at me with his trusting eyes, so willing to please me. He went into me easily, the friction of him against my walls sparked in me. I needed him deeper.

He groaned, the smallest of sounds, his eyes closing, his head tilting back slightly. I shifted, pushing him deeper. He gave a sharp intake of breath. All these little sounds set a fire in me. I rocked my hips into him, his mouth dropping open before he suppressed a noise. He grabbed the rim of the tub, trying to sit up more, but he was helpless underneath me. I quickened my pace, trying to ease this itch inside of me.

Link's grip on the tub tightened, the tendons straining under his skin. My knees banged and scrapped against the tub until they were so raw I could hardly keep going. My pace slowed until I almost had to stop. This allowed Link to finally sit up. He grasped my hips, and slowly yet forcefully rocking me down pushing even deeper into me. I let out a moan as he continued the movement, covering my neck and chest with fleeting kisses. I wrapped my arms around his neck gently stroking his hair with my fingers.

His breath came out into my ear, heaving in heavy huffs. It was so loud that it was all I could hear. Listening to it, I could hear just the barest of whimpers with every breath he took. The sound of it alone almost sent me over the edge. I clawed at the skin of his shoulders, wanting to go faster, but he had gained the control now.

"Faster," I whispered into his ear, barely having enough breath to form the word. Of course he obeyed. The water started to slosh out of the tub and in moments all I was aware of was my own pleasure. I clung to him as I reached the end, digging my fingers into his skin and crying out into his neck.

He suddenly fell back, pulling out of me so quickly that he hit the back of his head on the rim of the tub. I let out a scream in surprise as we splashed into the water.

"Sorry."

"Is your head alright?!"

"It's fine."

We were silent for a moment. I rested against his chest as it rose and fell with his breath. "Are you going to need assistance?" I asked shyly.

"No."

More silence. Then he moved to sit up a little. He wrapped his arms around me. What wasn't in the water had grown cold, and it warmed me. He kissed the top of my head.

"We should be more careful."

"I know," I answered.

We half heartedly washed each other, but it was more of an excuse to touch each other than anything else. There was no more talking for a long time. We stayed in the water until it was cold, our fingertips like prunes.

Eventually Link asked. "How long have we been in here?"

"Too long," I answered. I got off of him and out of the tub quickly. I found him a towel and set that as well as the dry clothes next to the tub. I took my own towel and went to the bedroom to look for my clothes. I dressed quickly, choosing to wear new underwear and have the old pair washed with the sheets.

When I reentered the bathroom, Link was already dressed and had gathered up his things. He looked at me, but I ignored him, finding a comb and combing through my hair as quickly as possible. I could feel Link's gaze on me. I caught his face by accident in the mirror. I hadn't want to. The look on his face was so despairingly sad.

When my hair was detangled enough, I started to braid it. "Are you ready?" I asked. The question came out harder than I meant it to. I had used my 'queen voice'.

He made some sort of quick movement with his head, but I was trying not to look at him so I wasn't exactly sure if it was a nod or not. I left the bathroom and he quickly followed me.

Once we were in the bedroom, I looked at the door, then at Link's face. He stood there waiting for me to tell him to leave. It made me want to cry. I tore my eyes away from him, and said in an almost dead voice, "Thank you for coming."

He nodded his head and heading for the door.

"Will you come back?" I had a hint of desperation in my voice that I wasn't able to mask.

He paused. "I don't know." He turned to look at me. "But I guess I have to to return the clothes I borrowed." He smiled at me. I smiled weakly in returned.

He then walked up to me quickly in two strides, cupping my face with his hand and kissing me passionately. The kiss was so heated, I briefly wondered if it would take us back to the bed, but he turned away from me without giving me another look and opened the door to leave. He ran into Lance in his hurry, muttering a sorry before going around him and walking quickly down the hall.

Lance looked at me. "So I'm assuming you're done _now?_"

I didn't answer him.

"Well, as much as I _love_ listening to the two of you fuck each other behind the door, I'd have to say I'm _still_ doing you a huge favor, and slamming the door in my face is not the best way to say thank you. And you have to learn to be quieter. I can only pretend to cough for so long before I actually die."

"Send for the maids. The sheets need to be clean and the bathroom needs to be cleaned up as well."

"Well okay! You're welcome!" He flew his arms up into the air.

"Thank you, Lance." I put a hand over my eyes, feeling them burn. "Just please. Please send for them."

He went out into the hallway, whistling at someone and in no time some of my maids entered the room. "Her Majesty wants her sheets to be changed and apparently there's some sort of mess in the bathroom."

The look at the maids faces were gaping as they came up with their own conclusions. "Oh, just get to work!" I cried at them before leaving the bedroom. Lance followed hurriedly, wincing at my tone.

I stormed down the hall angry now. I was angry at myself. Why did I keep letting these things happen?! "Never, let me alone with him again." I told Lance who was matching my pace easily. His legs were longer.

"Are you sure? Because you seemed like you were pretty certain that you didn't want me to be in that room. And Link said-"

"Link isn't the Queen," I snapped. Lance was quiet after I said that.

I heard a bunch of hullabaloo from somewhere within the hallway and I realized it was because my husband had returned home. I changed my direction to go meet him. I wasn't very sure where I had originally been going anyway.

I found my husband running up to me. I was so baffled that I stood there staring at him, uncomprehending. I didn't think I've ever seen him move faster than a slow walk. I guess I should have been alarmed by the extra effort to reach me, but I was just too stunned to react.

"Zelda!" he huffed as he reached me. He hadn't run very far but he was already out if breath, and he was still soaked to the bone. "You wouldn't believe what happened to me today! I almost died!" He started laughing and then he elbowed his man servant. "Tell her! Tell her how I almost died!"

The servant nodded vigorously at me. "He almost died!" he agreed.

"Oh good heavens, if I were to die!" He put a hand to his chest. "It would be horrible, considering we don't have an heir. You'd have to find a new husband!"

Pity I thought to myself.

"Tell her how I almost died!" My husband shouted, lightly swatting his servant on the shoulder. "Oh don't tell her! We shall show her! Bring it over here!" He shouted down the hall, waving his arms about, shouting, "Bring it over here!" again.

More of his servants came down the hallway, carrying a rather large dead elk on a stick.

"Um Dear... there's a wet dead animal in the hallway..." I said, keeping my voice light but still rather unhappy about the fact.

"Yes," my husband agreed. "He's beautiful!"

Its large glassy eyes were glazed over from death. The tongue hung over the side of its mouth, slightly covered with blood from where a lung must have been pierced during its last dying breath. I wasn't thinking beautiful was the right word.

"One thousand and a hundred pounds! At the least I'd say. Right men? Would you think so?" The men nodded, looking like they were having a hard time carrying the beast. "And look at these antlers! Beautiful! We should mount it somewhere!"

"As long as it isn't in the bedroom."

"Darling, I must tell you! The elk is not the reason why I almost died!"

"No, I wouldn't think so. I hear elks are not carnivorous and are actually quite sweet."

"Right! Elks are not carnivorous!" he said, proud that his lowly wife knew such a fact. "This was what happened, I shot it, right?" He was being very animated as he talked. I didn't think I had ever seen him that excited before. "It was right through the chest cavity, a great shot! You know, I ran into the Hero on my way over here. I don't know why he was here, but he seemed to be in a hurry so I didn't ask. _He_ said I had a great shot! Can you imagine!? The Hero saying I'm a good shot? Now I hear he is the best! For him to say little ol' me, an amateur compared to him, is a good shot, well I must be-"

"Dear, how exactly is it that you almost died?"

"Oh, right! I got into a tangent. So I shot the elk, right? and I didn't even notice but-" he looked around the elk. "Where is it? Go bring that as well!" The servant not holding the elk ran down the hall and quickly returned with a large wolf, a large _dead_ wolf with blue eyes.

"You see, it must have been stalking the very same elk I was hunting! As soon as I shot it, it was already on the poor beast. I tried to just shoo it away, but it was having known of that. You don't usually see wolves alone so I was quite terrified you see."

I was no longer listening to him now. My body grew cold and I felt sick as I stared at the beautiful animal. Grown wolves do not have blue eyes. Not even wolfos have blue eyes. The only wolf to ever have blue eyes was Link.

For some reason, this thinking over powered the much more logical thinking. Link had left only moments ago, and he hadn't been turned into a wolf since the Age of Twilight, a very long time ago. Maybe this particular wolf was part dog, or maybe the eyes were actually green and it was only the light tricking my eyes. It didn't matter. I turned away and quickly left while my husband was still talking.

* * *

I sat on the toilet staring at the small spots of blood that sat on the inside of my underwear. I had left the garment on the floor and was just sitting on the toilet, bringing my knees up to my chest.

I had been several weeks since I had seen Link, and I had been two days late.

I rubbed the skin of my legs, trying to get the relief to fully sink in. I had been so terrified that it didn't seem real. I thanked the Goddesses over and over. When I was ready, I changed into new underwear with some protection and came out of the bathroom.

"Well?" Lance asked.

I had no idea what his 'Well?' was referring to, so I asked "What?" suspiciously.

"Do you got it?"

"Got what?!"

"Your period." He seemed annoyed that he had to say it out loud.

"How would you even-?!"

"One," he interrupted me. "You were in there for fucking forever. Two," he took out a little note book from an inside pocket.

"What the hell is that?!"

He flipped though it. "You were due two days ago."

"You keep track of my menstrual cycle!?"

"Hey, I need to prepare myself when you're going to be extra crazy! Last week, you were pretty crazy, but a pregnant woman can be just as crazy so I wasn't sure."

"Give that to me this instance!"

"No. It's mine and I need it! I write my special notes in this!" He held it above his head though he was already about a foot taller than me.

"How long have you been keeping track of my menstrual cycle?!"

"Well I decided to do it when I realized that you were a crazy bitch, which was like, almost immediately after I met you."

"How did you even find out when it was?!"

"Analyzing your behavior. I'm suppose to know every little detail so if anything changes, I know if-"

"Whatever, I don't want to hear about it."

"So you must be pretty relieved."

"About what?" I snapped.

"About your period."

"I haven't told you if I'd gotten it yet."

"No, but you haven't called Annabell over to help you with the bathroom, like you did yesterday or the day before, as if her presence would make you magically start bleeding."

"Well, Annabell use to share the same cycle as I."

"Exactly. As if her presence would make you magically start bleeding," he repeated, "and when it didn't work, you would conveniently have someone to take your anger out on since I wouldn't be in the immediate vicinity, me not being allowed in the bathroom and all."

"Oh shut up!" It annoyed me on how much Lance understood my behavior, how well he understood all my flaws. He was more intelligent then I'd like to admit and he could, if he wanted to, black mail me to do anything he wanted. But he didn't. He stayed loyal to me and deep down I trusted him with everything.

"Are you going to tell him? I'm sure he'll find if a huge relief." He didn't have to explain who 'him' was.

"I'll tell him." I started to pace, bringing a gloved hand up to my mouth. "Do you think he'll come back?"

"Well he came back for seconds so... probably."

"He told me he would be back to return the clothes he borrowed."

"Well that's what he _said _he'll be back for, but we all know the real reason."

I glared at Lance. "You are to make sure him and I are never alone together again."

"Ever?"

"Ever!"

"Even if you change your mind?"

"Yes."

"Even if you saw him, and he was naked, and he was like, dying from some rare disease and it would be the last time you could-"

"_Lance!_" I hushed him. "This will no longer be discussed!"

There was a knock on the door. I granted them permission to enter. "You have a package, Your Majesty." The package was given to Lance where he deemed it safe for me to open and the messenger left.

"It's from Link." I shushed Lance as I tore open the package. It was the clothes he had borrowed with a paper note that simply just read:

_-Link_

I stared at the bundle of clothing for a minute. I realized Link hadn't known how to say goodbye to me when he had left. This was the best way he knew how. I held the bundle of clothes close to me. They smelled like the mud of the river where he must have washed them in.

I closed my eyes and silently bid Link goodbye.


	16. Chapter 16

-_Link_

I finished the roof as soon as I came back. Even when it grew dark, I stubbornly continued hammering shingles into place. I just had to keep doing things. I'd be okay if I kept doing things.

It came to the point when I wasn't able to see the nail I was nailing anymore, and I cursed that I didn't have a conveniently light source that could fly out of my hat.

Out of all the things I missed, I missed the fairies most. They were always good to talk to.

I started down the ladder, skipping the last half of it and then went off to look for a lantern and some oil. It was a major fire hazard, having the lamp precariously balanced on the roof, but I didn't care. If the house burned down, I would gladly rebuild it. More for me to do.

When I finished putting shingles on, I started making doors. I worked from the light of a bonfire. I told myself that after I was finished with this whole house business, I'd plant more trees. I felt bad on how many I was using, though I did try to use as much of the tree as possible. I made doors until dawn, carefully sanding the wood until it was perfect.

When light began to come back over the horizon, I went to the river, looking for large rocks to make the fireplace. I rolled them back to the house without Epona's help. Her harness had been ruined in the rain and I was still in the process of repairing it. It took half the day for me to finish something decent enough to call a fire place, holding the rocks together with clay that had been in the river. I spent the other half of the day making a water system that collected rain water for the sink.

The house had heat and water, and I was starting to run out of things to do. I built Epona a simple shelter, but that only took about an hour, really.

After doing a few other odd things, I sat alone in the empty house. The house had no furniture, but I had run out of wood to make anything else. I hadn't been eating a whole lot either, just the rations that I always kept in the saddle bag. It was a loosing battle trying to stay awake any longer.

I didn't bother getting my sleeping roll. I just fell asleep on the dirt floor of the house. Zelda haunted my dreams, just like I knew she would. The dream, mixed with my fresh memories, made everything seem so real and I found myself waking up multiple times during the night with an uncomfortable problem preventing me falling back to sleep easily. I thought about relieving it myself. No one was here. It was the only good thing about being alone right now. But I didn't want to indulge more into my infatuation with her. I didn't want anything to do with Zelda again. I wanted to forget her.

I had had nights with similar dreams before, especially when I was a teenager. There would be times when sex dreams would be the only thing I dreamt about for days. Eventually I would grow out of it. It would stop and go back to nightmares. I suddenly remembered how much I hated sleeping.

But I wanted to go back to sleep now. I was so incredibly lonely in this empty house. I was cold, alone with my head racing. I had no one to talk to, no one to voice my fears to and make them go away.

So I changed my mind. I thought maybe it would help me sleep after doing it. It would certainly warm me up a little, but after it was all over I felt even worse than before. I was ashamed of myself really.

I finally got up, left the house, and went over to Epona's shelter, settling myself against the wood. The horse stuck her nose in my face for a moment, inhaling my scent in greeting before she went back to her hay. It didn't stop the dreams, but it helped to know there was something living other than me. Whenever I woke, Epona sniffed my face, her breath warming it until I reached sleep again.

Then morning came. Mary said she'd come home today, but I didn't expect her till after nightfall. The train station was a good distance away from where we lived. I had a whole day of nothing to do.

I dragged a stump into the house as a makeshift chair. I sat on it and did nothing.

At night, trying to sleep, though seemingly looking like me doing a whole lot of nothing, was still doing something, or at least trying to do something.

Now I was doing nothing and had no idea about what to do with myself. This meant that my brain would resort to the dangerous past-time of me thinking about what kind of person I was and my purpose in the world. This never turned out to be good.

Like almost always, the first thing my mind went for was Zelda. My head filled with lewd, perverted thoughts of her. The things I wanted to do to her, the things I wanted her to do to me; it was all horrible.

Queen Zelda, carrier of the Triforce of Wisdom, the reincarnated human goddess, was the most respected woman I knew. I respected her more than anyone, but apparently not enough. Not enough to not steal her virtue, to not pervert her. She was someone so noble and perfect and then I came along and ruined it. If anyone found out, her reputation would be shot.

I felt myself grow cold. If people found out, Zelda could loose everything she had. She could loose her respect, her reputation, maybe even her throne. What if she was executed?

I almost passed out at the thought. No. Zelda wouldn't be executed. The people loved her too much, and she was too smart. She'd be able to get herself out of it. I would get executed, but oh well. I would only be dead forever, but I sort of wanted that.

I couldn't want that, I had a job to do! Some job I was doing. I was intentionally threatening the order of the Triforce. Multiple times. It wasn't just a one time thing. It was multiple times. What was wrong with me?! How hard was it to just keep my pants on? It was so stupid. Any other person could have a little more self control and me, out of all people, so selfishly ignoring everything that was right because I wanted to...

Maybe I _should _die forever. Maybe it would cause the Goddesses to choose a new hero.

And then there was Mary. She had been waiting forever to find love, and what did she get? Me. The worst person in existence. I absolutely hated men who cheated on their wives. I was one of those men. Mary didn't deserve any of this. She had been so kind to me, being a friend when I really needed it. She didn't know what a horrible person I was.

I looked at my hands. I thought about where they had been. I looked at my wedding ring. I had used that hand to...

I stood up abruptly and immediately got some soap and went to my makeshift sink. I washed my hands until they were raw and then washed the ring separately. It was impulsive almost obsessive of me, trying to get that little thing clean, as if it would erase what I'd done. I was being crazy, but it was something to do.

I was going to tell her. I was going to tell Mary that I cheated on her. She'd throw me out no doubt, throw me out of the house I made for her. I deserved it.

I started packing my things, saddling Epona. It would make it easier when she threw me out. I could leave as soon as possible.

Then maybe I could live the rest of my life in whore houses, hopefully fathering a child before I died from a sexually transmitted disease or over dosed on something. More likely over dosing. It would be faster.

I decided if I died before I conceived a child, that would just mean the Goddesses gave up on me. I hoped they'd give up on me.

I sat back on my tree stump in the middle of the empty room, waiting for my life to end. I hadn't expected Mary to be here until night fall. I expected to use the rest of the day to continue mentally tormenting myself until I felt I had punished myself enough; which would have been never.

But sometime in the afternoon I heard wheels turning outside, and when Epona neighed a greeting to the other horse, I realized it must be Mary.

I sat up a little more on my stump, gripping my knees. She must have left before daylight to get home at this hour.

"Sweet Goddesses!" I heard her say outside the house. I was ready to tell her as soon as she came inside. I had the words formed in my head.

"Oh, wow!" She looked at the door. It didn't have any hinges and I had rested it in the doorway. She had to step around it to get into the house and as soon as she stepped in, the words in my head were gone. "Did you get Horus to help you? I can't believe it! You built this so quickly! Oh, and look at the fire place! It's beautiful! And the sink!" She began to go all around the house, walking into each room before returning to me. "Link, it's all so beautiful! Our own house!"

She was just so happy. I could even see tears beginning in her eyes. I've never seen her like this. I tried to talk, but I hadn't spoken in two days and my voice wasn't working.

"Awe, look at you! I left you all alone." She put her arms around me, pressing my face into her shoulder and with that, the nightmare was over. My negative thoughts were pushed back down to where they belonged and I was able to concentrate on something and be with a real person.

I wrapped my arms around her tightly, receiving comfort that I didn't know I could find in her.

She patted my back, letting me embrace her for a moment before she pulled back. "Babe, when's the last time you bathed? You smell like horse." She touched my chin. I hadn't shaved in a while either. "I'm sorry I left you all alone, but I brought a present that can hopefully make it up to you." She yanked me up to my feet with strength I forgot she had and started leading me out the door. "So my mother still hates you," she said. "But she forgives us for not inviting her to the wedding and gave us this as a wedding gift!"

I tripped over the door even though I was the one that put it there and look at the new wagon her horse was pulling. Strapped to the wagon was an enormous bed, already with sheets, comforter and pillows. Ropes had been tied around the pillows to ensure they didn't fall off, and there was dirt on the sides of the bed from the journey. The bed wasn't as grand and luxurious as the "Royal Bed" but certainly not a bed for the low class. It was a bed for the higher middle class.

"Can you believe it? A maroon comforter? My mother gave us a maroon comforter. Not grey, maroon. It shows the dirt more," she gave it a few swats with her hand, "but I can get that cleaned."

I started to laugh as a sense of déjà vu hit me. The laugh was slightly hysterical from my tiredness, but it gave me enough breath to speak. "How're we gonna get that through the door?"

She looked at me, then the door, then the bed. "Oh phooey, you're right." She yanked my arm to follow her and climbed onto the bed. "I guess we'll just have to sleep outside under the stars!" She pulled on my arm, telling me she wanted me to climb on too. I did my best, but she had to grab me by the shirt and pull me up the rest of the way because my limbs weren't working right. "You're getting old, Man." She said jokingly to me.

"Yea, what are you going to do when it rains?"

"Can't you do some magic voodoo to stop the rain?"

"No, but I can do something that can start the rain," I said, though Mary didn't know anything about magic or that I even knew any.

"Well that's not helpful," she said. She turned to me, putting a hand on my chest and pushing me down so I laid on my back. "I hope you don't mind getting wet." She kissed me. I let her. She stopped to frown at me. "Link," she started seriously. "You haven't been happy since we've gotten married."

Here it came... She was going to find out.

"You just lie there until I come on to you and then you only half participate! You weren't like this before we got married so something must have happened between now and then. It's like you're afraid to touch me."

I was quiet for a long time. Mary had grown accustomed to my long silences. She waited patiently for me to speak. I tried to put into words what I wanted to tell her, but I winded up settling for something much more simple and easier for me to voice. The will to want to pull this all off had somehow returned to me, and I didn't want her to make me leave. "Do you," I started, "remember our wedding night?"

She laughed. "Do _you _remember our wedding night?"

"No." I admitted. "That's why I'm asking. Did I... Was I terrible?"

She laughed at me. "Well, you were something."

"That bad?"

"You kept calling me the wrong name."

I froze at that. I was horrified at the possibility of calling her Zelda. How could she not know? How could she not suspect?

"Malon, Marin, you were so close! You just couldn't get it right." She looked at me, almost affectionately and very amused. "You tried very hard."

"Shit..." I was actually quite baffled at myself really.

She gave me a shove. "I don't want to know whoever those women were. You have a right to have a past. You just better not get offended if I accidentally call you Eric."

"Who the hell is Eric?"

She smiled at me. "A rather attractive man."

I sat up, staring at the pattern on the comforter before turning my gaze to Mary. "Mary, are you happy with me?" I asked very slowly. "You don't have to stay with me if you don't want to. Maybe marrying me was a mistake."

She took a long time to answer. "Link, I know you don't love me." My head snapped up when she said that, and I gave her a startled stare. She laughed. "I'm not stupid. I told you I loved you, and you didn't say it back and it just felt off."

"Wait, when? When was this?"

"It doesn't matter. The truth is, I'm not sure if I'm actually in love with you either. Not yet anyway. The reason why I married you wasn't because I fell in love with you. I married you because I needed... someone." She looked out over the horizon where you could see the castle in the distance. "I needed to be with someone. Someone I could count on." She turned to me. "And you needed someone." She took my hand. "We may not be in love with each other, but we still need each other. We'll go through the motions now, just for something to do, but one day we're going to see each other as more than just that attractive friend."

It was strange how much relief I felt listening to her. It didn't really change anything, but her admitting that she didn't love me made me feel so much better. The responsibility of her heart was no longer in my hands.

And she was right. I did need her.

"So you _do _find me attractive?" I asked, the grin on my face almost hurt from not doing it in so long.

"Well, when I said that, I was talking more about myself."

"Oh right. Nothing can compare to whoever the hell Eric is."

She kissed my lips. "Eric wasn't as understanding as you. I think I could fall in love with you."

"Yea?" And I thought I could too. At least a form of love. I brought her closer to me, laying back down on the bed. "Don't ever leave again," I said. I thought I could be okay, if she just didn't leave me alone. I'd be okay.

She laughed. "I didn't realize how much of a wreck you'd be without me." She gave me another kiss, deeper than the others. It wasn't thrilling or exciting, but it was comforting. Comfort was what I needed now. I needed simple things. My mind had been spinning too much.

"Whoa there! What do we have here?! Making babies, I see!"

Mary lifted her head to glare at Horus who had just showed up. "Get off my property, Horus. I'm busy with my husband!"

"I'm a nomad. I was taught to believe that the land belonged to everyone."

"Don't make me make Link get the deed to this land. The Queen herself gave it to him!" Her eyes rested on Epona, all saddled up with all of my belongings before she looked back down at me. "You going somewhere?"

"Just don't leave me again," I repeated too quiet for Horus to hear, and I got off the bed. I felt her gaze on me, but she didn't ask anymore questions. Mary never really did ask many questions. She'd just watch me, analyzing my behavior and silently coming up with her own conclusions. I never knew what those conclusions were, but I didn't want to know.

* * *

We ate dinner with Horus and his friends and I felt life fall back to a sense of normalcy. Horus knew how to cook a piece of meat pretty well too, and with better food in my stomach I went back to be being not unhappy anymore.

When we returned home, I took apart the bed so that it would fit through the doorway, and Mary washed the linens. She found a way to hang them over the mantle of the fire place after starting the fire.

I mentioned something about how maybe we should have thought about doing that earlier so that they would be dry by night fall.

"Oh well," she said, falling onto the mattress dressed in her sleep ware.

"We can get some blankets from the wagon, or the sleeping roll. Aren't you going to get cold?"

She looked at me lazily. "I don't want to go get them. I've been traveling all day and I'm tired. You're tired. You built a whole house! Maybe we should just keep warm with each others' bodies."

My lips twitched into almost a smile. "Lazy," I accused. But I wasn't going to get them either. I was tired. The idea of falling asleep with a warm other person wasn't unappealing. I sighed and undid my belt, before sitting on the mattress to take off my boots. She crawled over to me, helping me undress.

"I thought you were too tired. Go back to sleep."

"You take too long, slow poke. I'd be frozen by the time you actually laid down to bed." She pulled up my shirt, leaving it unhelpfully over my head. "What the hell happened to your back?"

Thank the Goddesses that my shirt was over my head so she couldn't see the horror of panic cross my face. I had forgotten about Zelda for about five hours now. I was at peace for five hours.

I took the shirt off my head and made sure to turn my head in a direction where she couldn't see the mark Zelda has left on my neck. "Scars, they've always been there," I said getting up from the bed.

"No it looks like you got scratched up recently, like by a cat or something."

"Oh," I began to fold my clothes. It wasn't something I usually do, but Mary had done it and maybe she'd think I was trying to stay tidy and be a good husband. "I fell off Epona and fell into a bush." I wasn't really sure what my back looked liked. I tried to remember feeling it when it actually happened, what direction the scratches were going, if it would be believable that I received them from a bush. Then I wondered if Mary would even think of something like that. But I did know she was smart enough to know what a hickey looked like and I dared not turn my head too much.

"Really?"

I quickly came up with more details to my story. "Yea, it started raining, so I took off my tunic. I wanted to keep it dry since it was the only clean clothes I had at the time," which was true. I hadn't thought to wash anything for a while. "I got on Epona to try to get to the house as fast as possible and a bolt of lighting spooked her." I had never been very good at lying. If a similar instance hadn't happened to me in the past, I wouldn't have been able to come up with it so fast.

"That horse threw you?"

"Yea."

"Threw you into a bush, without a care for your safety?"

"Um, yea."

"Finally!" She started to laugh. "Finally she's done something nasty to you! It's not natural for an animal to like a person that much. It's like she's human."

I gave her a sideways look, still not turning my head. "Wait a second. Are you jealous of my horse?"

"Why would I be jealous of a horse? I just don't understand how an animal can love you so much and hate everyone else. She does everything for you. You know she bit me the other day."

"Now why would she bite you? She's a sweetie pie," I grinned.

"No she ain't. She's nasty."

"Well what did you do? You've had t'ave done something." I turned back to my clothes, settling them next to Mary's. I just had to keep her talking.

"I was just putting on her harness!"

"The clinch?"

"Yea."

"I told you about that. She only likes it if you do it slow."

"If I do it slow she'll puff up her stomach so that it falls off later. She got me right here! Look, you can still see the bruise. She lifted her night gown over her hips, and pulled the line of her panties slightly down. "See? My shirt had gone up a little, and she knew! She could see the skin and just chomped right down!"

I chuckled at her as I went back closer to the bed. I traced my fingers around the bruise. "That does look pretty nasty." I bent down, licking my fingers before putting out the candle that had been placed onto the floor. I relaxed when it became dark. Then I put my mouth on her bruise and she let out a short squeal.

* * *

I continued living my life. We lived off the land mostly, making things for around the house. I had things to do so I was okay. Mary kept me company. Whenever I did start to slip into my own thoughts, she'd interrupt them in that abrasive way of hers. I had lived this type of life before. It was in a different place, a different time with a different wife, but yet still very much familiar. Sometimes I'd forget current things. I never remembered what year it was and sometimes I'd talk about places or shops that weren't around anymore.

It was livable and I lived like that for almost a year.

The castle looming in the horizon was a constant reminder of Zelda. It left a shadow across the land just like the memory left a shadow in my brain.

The last thing I intended to do for the Queen was return her clothes. I tried to write a note of thanks, or apology or something. But I couldn't think of anything so I just wrote my name, as if she had forgotten who she'd given the clothes too.

I had planned that to be last of my dealings with the royal family or with the castle. I had planed on keeping things like that until I died, I guess. I already felt old. I had forgotten that I wasn't.

I was by the riverside, sharpening some kitchen knives that had grown dull. I heard Mary walk up to me, but I didn't take my eyes off my work. Not until she sat herself on a large rock in front of me.

"I need to talk to you."

I lifted my eyes up for a second to meet hers to let her know I was listening.

"It's about money."

I felt my shoulders start to sag when she said that. I wondered if she imagined herself living the sort of life she was living.

"Have you ever notice that we don't have any?"

"What do you need?" I was sure I could get, or make, or find anything she wanted. She just needed to tell me what it was and I'd fetch it for her. I had always given her anything she had asked.

"Money," she answered.

I sighed. "For what?"

"For things." I eyed her until she spoke again. "Well, I sort a didn't tell my mother the whole truth when I told her who I married."

My eyes went wide for a second as I tried to imagine who Mary told her mother I was.

"Don't freak out! I told her the truth mostly! I said that I had married _the _Hero. She didn't believe me at first. I had to show her our wedding picture."

I cursed softly under my breath. It was not the most flattering picture of me. I was pretty drunk.

"And she just sort of assumed that you were rich, BUT" she said loudly before I could say anything, "As long as she doesn't come over here to visit it should be fine. She doesn't travel that much. She is old."

"Is there another point to this conversation?" I asked.

"Oh right, about money... You see, I haven't been working and you don't have a job so I was wondering if... maybe... I should... you know go back to work."

"No."

"Now why the hell not? I didn't see you as the controlling type! You do realize I'm going to do whatever the hell I want, right?"

It was hard for me to explain why I didn't want her to go back to work. There were many reasons and I knew Mary probably didn't like some of them. Part of it, I just hated her career choice and didn't want her lying to people for money. Another part of it was that I was nervous she'd make the wrong man angry. I didn't trust Horus to keep her safe and even though Mary was a tough girl, she was still small.

"What if I did something else?" She asked when I didn't answer her for a moment. "I know how you feel about my profession."

"I'll get a job," I said instead. Another reason why I didn't want her to work was a pride thing. I was the husband. I was supposed to support her. But the main thing was that I didn't want her to leave me again. I didn't trust myself when she was gone.

"You know, I knew you were going to say that. What if we both get new jobs?"

"What are you going to do?" I didn't mean it to sound the way that it did. I could see her taking it as an accusation of being a woman, and by the look on her face, I seemed to be right.

"Well, prostitution of course, since that's the only thing a woman can do!"

She laughed at the expression on my face and gave me a shove. "I can sell something. Something that I make like bracelets or hats or something."

I looked at her for a moment before I turned my gaze to the water. "I'll get lonely," I finally admitted.

She laughed at me again. "Okay, tell me the real reason why you don't want me to work." But the look on my face made her realize I was serious. "Link..." She tugged on my ear. "If you get a job, you won't be around to miss me, anyway."

I eventually agreed.

The next day I had set out to town to look for a job. I had thought it would be easy. I had a pretty wide range of skills. I knew a lot of people. But I had been doing so many things, for so many people for free, for such a long time, that I was finding it hard to convince them to pay me. Well, actually I was having a hard time trying to convince myself to ask them to pay me. I was never really good at asking for things, especially if it involved money.

Even with the time of peace, people could still be poor, and the people I tended to know well where always poor. They were willing to pay me with other things, like food or gifts, but I was sure that wasn't the idea Mary had in mind when I told her I'd get a job.

Mary stared at me balefully, her arms crossed when she realized I returned with a cucco and a pie instead of a job.

"This doesn't make sense, Link! You're_ the _Hero! You're famous! How can you not get a simple job? You'd up their business with your publicity."

"Well, I haven't actually done anything really hero related for seven years. People forget."

"That's stupid."

I shrugged.

"I will not stand for this!" She went on. "We should take it to the King himself! He will give you a job,"

"What? I don't think-"

"He has to give you something. He's the King. I'm sure there are many things he could find for you to do. And if he doesn't, Queen Zelda would. She better, considering all the shit you've done for her, it's the least she could do. You got connections, Link. Finding a job shouldn't be that hard."

"Don't make me go to the castle," I simply said.

"Why not?"

"There are some people... that I think it best that I never see again."

She blew air from her mouth. I knew she couldn't possibly understand. "Come on, how terrible can a noble with a stick up their ass truly be? I know they're hard to deal with, but if it meant getting a job...? You've survived Horus! Is this person worse than Horus?"

I smiled grimly at her. "Yes."

She crossed her arms again and gave me a long look. "I know I'm asking a lot of you." I was silent and she turned away from me to look out the window. "I'm pregnant."

I stared harder at her, as if my eyes could get her to turn around and look at me again.

She kept her stare on the window, resting her hands on her stomach, rubbing at it gently. "I just thought it would be nice to be able to buy the baby nice things every once in a while."

I went to the castle.

I had to. Mary always had a great way of guilt tripping me into doing what she wanted. She didn't ask a lot, but whenever she did want something, I was usually rather quick to get it for her. I was guilty. I was trying to make up for it. Horus thought I was whipped, so I had to deal with that hilarious new joke too, but when it came down to it, I really couldn't say no to Mary. I tried to, to give me some sort of pretense that I still had some control of my life. But I've never had control of my life. So I went to the castle.

You'd think being the 'Barer of Courage', I wouldn't feel like shitting my pants every time I was taken out of my comfort zone. But apparently it doesn't work like that.

Of course, like always, everyone assumed I had come to see Zelda. I tried to make it quite clear that I was here to ask the King a favor. Some people just didn't think they had to listen. They liked to think they knew me and the Queen. They liked to think they knew what our relationship was.

We didn't have a relationship.

I actually had to raise my voice before getting them to understand what I was asking.

Eventually I was taken to the throne room. Luckily Zelda rarely seemed to be in the throne room. She was always busy doing more important things.

The King peered down at me, surprised to see that I had asked to see him, but with also a somewhat pleased look on his face.

"Sir Link! This is certainly a surprise. Are you sure whatever you want I can help you with? I'm sure if I looked harder, I could find Zelda for you. She knows more about that Triforce stuff."

"No, it isn't about that. Why wouldn't you think you could help me?" I gave him my best smile, the kind that usually won me food or other gifts from the locals.

The King looked away, slightly baffled with himself. "Well I don't usually help with the... What can I do for you, Sir Link!"

I grinned at him. "Well you see, Sire, I don't have a job, and my wife's pregnant."

"Don't have a job?! Pregnant? Well, of course I can get you a job! It's the least we could do, for everything you've done for the country. What kind of job were you thinking of? One in the castle?"

"Preferably one out of the castle. I mean, it doesn't have to be much. We don't need a whole lot." The castle was a pretty big place. I may be able to work there and not see Zelda at all, but I didn't want to take the chance. Eventually I'd have to see her. She'd have to know I'd gotten a job there. She was the Queen.

"What are you good at? Oh, Zelda, she might have more of an idea of what work you can do. Zelda dear, would you come over here?"

I froze. How long had she been standing there in the doorway of the side entrance of the throne room? She had been so quiet. Lance started whispering something to her hastily, but she ignored him, her hard, unreadable, grey-blue eyes on me as she entered the room. I felt terror as she slowly walked across the marble floor. The only thing I could think to compare it to, was watching Ganondorf enter the room. Only this terrorizing figure had a delicate built, clad in an elegant embodied dress rather than battle armor. The corner of her mouth was turned up into an attractive smile, but that smile didn't mean she was glad to see me. I never knew what she was thinking when she wore that smile.

She kept her eyes on me as she settled herself down on her throne, touching her chin thoughtfully. I realized she was deciding my fate. I should be used to this by now, standing before her as she decided what she was going to do with me, what sort of task she wanted me to so, where she would send me. My fate had always been in her hands.

Part of me wondered if she was in on it. Maybe she was in on the cruelty with the rest of the Goddesses. It was always fun to torment me.

I held my breath and she opened her mouth.


	17. Chapter 17

_-Zelda_

I couldn't believe it.

That bastard came back.

I watched him for a while. Lance was quiet. He could sense I was absolutely seething with rage.

I couldn't understand Link. Each time I saw him, I felt it would be the last time. The sweet memory of the last had turned bitter for me. I had been so sure he would come back, and he didn't. Link had said goodbye to me.

It had always been I that had said goodbye to him.

I was the one that was supposed to make the final decision. Not Link, I. Because I wasn't prepared for Link to say goodbye. I had been a wreck when I realized he was gone. I knew Link probably felt that way every time I had told him goodbye, but by now I felt like he should have expected it. He should be used to it by now. He could always see the signs when it was coming. He had time to prepare himself.

I hadn't had time. How could he give me the best day of my existence, and then just leave? How could he screw me over like that? I felt used.

I had turned the hurt into anger. Not that I let anyone know. Only Lance was able to see through the mask I wore. I was careful about it, only letting a little of my rage out to give me strength to carry out my duties. It turned me rather cold.

Right when I thought I accepted that Link would not come back, he showed up in my throne room. This is why I should always be the one in charge of our goodbyes. Link was horrible at it.

I listened and watched Link be charming to my husband. It was unlike Link to ask anyone anything, especially something such as a job. I couldn't see Link settling down long enough to hold up a paying a job. Well, I guess he could now, since he was married. It must have been Mary that sent him here.

I laughed coldly to myself. To send Link to the castle to get a job, she must have had her claws pretty deep into him. Even with Link's charming smile plastered on his face, I could see he didn't want to be here. He kept fidgeting the fingers of his left hand. He was probably hoping the King would hurry up and tell him to go do something so he could leave as soon as possible. Leave before I showed up.

"I never thought he'd come back for a job. I was sure he'd come back for-"

The glare I gave Lance stopped him mid sentence.

"Oh, Zelda, she might have more of an idea of what work you can do. Zelda dear, would you come over here?"

I smiled sweetly at my husband and began to walk over to him.

"Oh no," Lance grabbed my arm and whispered hastily into my ear. "You better not even think about replacing me with _him_." I hadn't said anything, but him voicing the statement just showed how much of a worry it must have been to him.

I turned to him, a small smile on my face as I raised an eyebrow.

"You and I both know that you and Link wouls be too busy fucking each other for him to do a decent job! And you know what will happen to me?! I'll get reassigned to the King! Have you ever listened to the King? Like for long periods of time?"

I shook my head, the smile still on my face and I could tell it was driving Lance crazy. Lance was usually good at making me lose my temper. He was good at making me reveal things to him. But I wasn't loosing my temper. I was smiling, my eyes on my next victim to torment.

I sat down and watched the color from Link's face drain. What could I make him do? What sort of job would Link really hate? I was sure he wouldn't enjoy being a prison guard, watching all the prisoners' suffering. Oh, he would hate that. But then again he may have the balls to free a few of them if he didn't agree with their sentences. He could be too soft hearted sometimes. I couldn't let that happen. I couldn't let him have any freedom. He needed to do something that had higher ups with their eyes on him at all times. He needed a job that would seem like it was such a great honor, but in reality stripped away his freedom.

I was so jealous of that freedom.

I studied him. He was awfully cute when he was nervous. I thought about keeping him here forever, never letting him go home. His wife was already pregnant. He didn't have to be with her anymore. I could keep Link at the castle, so that I was the only woman he ever saw again. At least until he died.

So very tempting...

"Link's a master swordsmen," I finally answered my husband. "That's his best skill."

I could feel all the men's eyes on me. "Well, should he be part of the Royal Guard? He had requested that he be assigned somewhere outside the castle," my husband said.

"That's just him being humble. I doubt he was going to brag about his sword skills, isn't that right, Hero?"

Link tried to say something, but it came out too mumbled so I ignored it.

"He should be assigned to a job that would pay him handsomely. With the baby coming, he's going to need it."

"Well, I'm sure we can squeeze him somewhere among the guards."

"Oh no, not the regular guards. He'll be bored to death and his skills would be wasted there."

I saw Link breath a sign of relief to that. I wasn't that cruel. I wasn't going to make him stand all day in the same spot like the guards that lined the hallway. I knew Link wouldn't be able to endure something like that.

"What did you have in mind, Dear?"

"Have you considered putting him into your own personal guard? The Hero's skills, no doubt, are worthy enough to protect the King." It was a high position. The best soldiers we had were selected for the King. He kept at least four at his side at a time, and the fact that they all took turns would allow Link to return to his wife daily, as much as I disliked that. They were all decent soldiers, but there was a reason why a larger number was needed. During this long reign of peace, finding good soldiers was tough. They all trained hard, and had skills, but not the experience. The showy number around the King seemed more like theatrics really. Besides, people expected the King to have lots of guards.

I only had one, but then again, Lance was in a league of his own. He wasn't from Hyrule. His training was harder than any training we could give the Hylian guard. Lance had killed people before.

But for an outsider, the King appeared to be more protected than the Queen. It would make sense. Usually it was the King that ruled the country, the King that was more important. That alone was something that could keep me safe.

Even with the current set up of things and time of peace, having Link look after the King couldn't hurt. Maybe he could show a thing or two to the current royal guard, and if an accident did somehow happened involving the King-knock on wood-Link would be there. Assassination attempts on the King were rare. To tell the truth, everyone realized quite easily that the King was useless and as harmless as a kitten.

And the money would allow Link's family to live a much more comfortable life.

"Are you sure on that, Dear? The Hero hasn't had any of the training."

"I would swear on it! He is the best warrior I have ever seen. I'm sure he could defeat everyone in this room."

Link was looking at me, quite petrified. Well, someone was going to have to brag for him if he wasn't going to do it.

"Well, if he's as good as you say, maybe you should have him! You know how I feel about you having the best body guard. I care more for you, than my own life."

I blushed. My husband wasn't one to usually voice any sort of affection towards me, unless of course he had an audience. Maybe he saw Link as an audience.

Lance swore rather loudly beside me when he realized the possibility of him loosing his job. "_Shit!_"

This hadn't been my intention even after Lance had spoken his fear to me. "Lance has done a very worthy job for me already. I don't think it would be needed to replace him."

"I thought you couldn't stand Lance, Dear? Here's an opportunity to get some space from him."

"Well this is shitastic," Lance grumbled. I gave him a sideways glare. Maybe if he had taken his job more seriously, he wouldn't be in this mess, now would he?

"No, I must admit we haven't always gotten along, but dislike of his personality shouldn't prevent me from admiring his fighting skills," but even as I said this, I couldn't help but imagine if Link was my bodyguard. He would be with me almost always. He would be the only one allowed to be alone with me, except for of course my husband. It would be so easy to find time where it would be just Link and I.

I caught Link's eyes with mine. I couldn't tell what he was thinking, but I felt like he knew what I was thinking. I always felt like he knew. I almost didn't hear what my husband said.

"You're right! Personalty aside, your bodyguard must be picked on skill alone. The only way to find out who's the best is to have the two of them go at it."

"Aw, but I'm gonna loose!" Lance cried out.

"Dear," I said to my husband. "I'm not sure if that is strictly necessary."

"Oh, nah! It'll be fun! I'm sure the both of them are skilled enough to keep the other from hurting them."

"But, I'm gonna loose!"

"Lance," my husband said sternly. "You'll do as you're told."

I just put my face in my hand. Link hadn't taken his eyes off me. I had the feeling that he wanted this. He wanted to be the one to protect me. This whole thing was actually rather embarrassing, but I tried to hide my feelings from my face.

Lance walked down the stairs that seated the thrown, and glared at Link. "I hate you."

Link looked rather taken aback.

"Can't you just like, let me win?" Lance continued. "Think of what I've done for you!"

"The Hero is a swordsmen. Someone give him a sword!" exclaimed my husband, and one of his guard handed Link a sword that he took hesitantly.

Lance pretended to sob into his hands, repeating, "I'm gonna loose!" over and over again.

After about thirty seconds of listening to Lance cry, Link turned his head to the King. "Um, Sire, he's unarmed and well... I don't think he wants to participate."

"Oh, he's faking it! Ignore him," said my husband. "Unarmed!" he scoffed like it was a joke.

Link looked at me, figuring I would be more help than the King. I tried to mentally tell him, Lance _was_ faking it. Lance would gladly attack Link with his back turned. That was the way Lance was. We all knew Lance was faking it. But Link was always one to fall for that sort of thing, and Lance knew it. He knew Link just like he knew everyone he met.

I thought I saw something in Link's eyes as he began to understand, but by then it was too late. Lance grabbed Link's right arm with his own right, pulling it across his own body as his left arm went across Link's sternum and he attempted the break the bone. I had the counter move in my mind, mentally willing Link to do it. Instead, Link did something far more clumsy, yet moving with the force so his arm wouldn't break.

I sighed. This wasn't going to turn out well. Well maybe it was for the better. Lance was right when he said it wouldn't be a good idea if Link was my bodyguard. It would be a good thing if Link lost. I didn't really blame him either. I doubt Link had done anything with a sword for some years now, and he certainly wasn't expecting this to happen when he came to the castle. He was most likely out of shape. He was still the best swordsmen in the room. If you gave Lance a sword, he'd mostly likely hurt himself with it. But Lance didn't have a sword, so it really didn't matter who was the best swordsmen.

Lance's face was expressionless and his eyes dead looking. His face appeared like that only when he was concentrating and finally meaning business. I was sure Lance wouldn't kill Link. Lance's job couldn't be so important that he'd risk my anger by killing Link. But I was beginning to worry. If Link was seriously injured, he wouldn't be able to join the King's guard either.

Lance pulled out a small dagger that was an eighth of the size of the large sword Link had been given, but Link only barely blocked it, already on the ground. Lance was taller than Link and he was faster than Link.

I covered my eyes, deciding I didn't want to watch this.

I uncovered my eyes when I heard an 'oof' that wasn't Link's. Link had managed to somehow kick Lance off of him and get his feet under him. I saw the cold look in his blue eyes, like an animal that had been backed into a corner. He let out a cry as he brought the sword down, Lance deflecting it in time, but having a hard time with Link's strength.

Now I wasn't worried about Lance killing Link, but I was worried that Link would kill Lance. Link didn't do much friendly sparing. He almost always fought to kill. I turned to my husband, who was enjoying the show.

"Dear, I don't think this is going to end well. Maybe we should stop them."

"Oh they're fine! Look at them, no one's drawn blood yet."

That's because when there was blood, someone was going to be dead. I watched the brawl a moment longer, the clanging of metal upsetting my nerves.

"Sonuva bitch," I heard Lance swear, as Link outsmarted him in a move that usually worked for him. Both men were getting quite frustrated with the other. To tell the truth, I'd say only about forty percent of the battle could be called sparring. The other sixty percent was of them both rolling around on the ground like a drunken bar quarrel.

Lance rolled himself off the floor, barely missing Link's sword. It left a mark on the marble floor. "Dear," I tried one more time. "Really,"

He shushed me. "Look!"

Lance had managed to free Link's sword out of his hand. As we watched it fly through the air, relief came to both Lance and me too soon, because Link hadn't given up yet. He punched Lance in the jaw, blood flying as his head spun with the force. Lance blindly tried to defend himself with his knife going in the direction of Link's face, but Link caught it, squeezing the knife right out of Lance's hand while his free hand went for Lance's throat.

They fell down in a heap, Lance crossing his arms to brace Link's hand that was trying to stab him, but Link's grip on his throat was causing Lance to loose strength. I saw the knife touch skin.

"Link stop!"

He did. But it took a moment for the wild to leave his eyes and it was only when Lance started to struggle again underneath him that he got off of him.

"Sorry," Link muttered, breathing hard as he tried to get a hold of himself.

Lance suddenly socked Link across the face before he scrambled from underneath him.

"HEY!" I cried, my voice echoing in the room. "I said that's enough!"

"I didn't think he was going to fucking kill me!" Lance exclaimed. He turned to Link "I was only trying to break your arm!"

"Looked like you were trying to kill me," Link growled. That cold look hadn't left his eyes.

"Your _right_ arm at that! You don't even _use_ that arm!"

"Well I think we have a clear winner here..." my husband announced, stopping the argument.

Link looked at me, looking ashamed of himself for a second before kneeling. I could see parts of his eyes through the strands of blond hair, still so very cold.

"Link has proved himself to be stronger than Lance," I said. "He has won, therefore becoming my personal body guard, but because of my concern and love for my dear husband, I would like to give him over and have him part of the King's guard, for the King's safety is very dear to me." Link was staring at me hard. I tried not to see the hurt in his eyes. "And Dear, if Lance was to be sent to your company, I would think he'd drive you insane."

"That's right, " Lance agreed eagerly. "I'm as annoying as all Hell."

I glared at him to silence him. I didn't want him saying something and ruining it all.

"Well, if my safety really concerns you that much, I will gladly take him."

I sighed in relief, and Lance cried out, "Yes!" Link gave Lance a dejected look. Link had fought for me. He had attempted to win. He had wanted the job.

I bit my lip and Lance scrambled back up to my throne. "Nice save," he said to me.

"Well," I said very brightly. "I see this is all settled now. I must be going." I made to take my leave and tried not to notice Link's eyes on me.

Once we were back in the hallway, Lance said, "Thanks... your Highness." I looked over at him. He rarely called me anything with a respected title. "I know you would probably rather have Link be your bodyguard."

"I did what I thought was right," I answered him, continuing down the hallway.

If only I had done that more.


	18. Chapter 18

-_Link_

"Hold still, Link!"

"It's really not that bad. Just leave it alone."

Mary backed up from my face to glare at me. "Tell me again, _who_ punched you in the face?"

"The Queen's bodyguard, but I deserved it so don't go storming down to the castle." I touched my swollen lip as I looked into the bedroom mirror.

"What the hell did you do?"

"Nothing. Just got a job."

"As a punching bag?!"

"I'm part of the King's Royal Guard."

Mary gaped at me. "Really?"

"Yea," I walked out of the bedroom. For some reason it bothered me to talk about this. I didn't understand why.

"The King's _Royal Guard_?! I thought that they were just going to make you a stable boy or something! When's the last time you've even picked up a sword?"

"This morning." I looked around the kitchen, trying to find something to do. Mary hadn't finished washing the bowl in the sink so I finished it for her.

"This morning? Did something happen? Is that why you have a fat lip?"

"No, it was just sort of like a test. And I took it too far, so the Queen's bodyguard punched me in the face. It's not a big deal." She stared at my back for a moment. I nodded my head to the money sack that I had left on the table. "It's not pay, but the King felt bad that I got hurt so he gave that to me as compensation."

Mary looked into the sack. "This is filled with purple rupees."

"Yea, I know."

"Link!" She wrapped her arms around my middle and gave me a tug away from the sink. "This is more than I could possibly ask for."

"Well, as long as you're happy."

"I am happy." I could feel her warm breath seep through my tunic. "I wish you would be a little more happy," she murmured.

I rested a wet hand on one of her forearms, rubbing it slightly with my thumb. I couldn't find words to reassure her, so I kept silent. Mary sort of accepted that was just the way I was anyway.

"We can buy a cow now!"

"A cow?" I said. "You know, I could have easily gotten a cow this morning instead of a job."

"Well now we can get two cows."

I turned myself around in her arms so I could face her. I looked at her, tucking a strand of red hair behind her ear. Mary really was a beautiful woman. I rested my forehead against hers.

I felt like I betrayed Mary today. Living with her all this time, I was able to revolve my world around her. I wanted to be the best husband she could ever hope for. It was all to make myself feel better, but it worked. Mary had been the center of my world for the last ten months.

But at the castle, I had forgotten about Mary. All I could think of was that terrifying queen, silently tormenting me with her smile. She made me want to be with her, want to protect her. I had fought for her, and after I had won, she gave me away to the King, like I was hers to give away. It was so like Zelda.

Mary touched my face. "You always look like you're someplace else, Link." I kissed her as if the action would make things better. It was how I avoided things really.

Mary placed both her hands on either side of my face, her fingers tracing my jaw bone as she kissed me back.

I placed my hand on her stomach. "How long were you going to keep this from me?" I asked, changing the subject.

"I didn't want you to freak out."

"Freak out?"

"Yep... You're gonna be one of _those_ types of fathers..."

"Whatda ya mean _those_ types of fathers?"

"The overprotective, spoiling kind."

"I don't spoil children."

"If you can't say no to adult people, you're not gonna to be able to handle saying no to a child." She pressed her hips against mine. I tried to ignore it. "Say no to me." She began swaying her hips against me to some tune in her head. Then she grabbed my tunic in her fists and pulled me over more so that she was leaning against the table.

"No."

She leaned back against the table, grinning.

"We're not going to do it on the table," I told her. "No."

Her grin widened, showing her teeth, already knowing that my 'No' had no power. It never had. "But there's just something about bags of money that really turn me on," she said, reaching over to the money bag and petting the rupees.

"You're sick," I said, rolling my eyes, yet still managing to make myself grin. "You're disgusting. I should throw you out with your gross woman urges."

She giggled at me, pulling me on top of her as she kissed me. I pretended to be happy to make her happy. I closed my eyes and pretended to be someone else. I couldn't be Link, loving Mary because Link didn't deserve Mary. Link was sad and hopeless. He'd be a disappointment. So I pretended to be a man that Mary deserved, an honest man who loved his wife, a man who worked hard because it made him happy to be with her.

A man who's name might have been Eric.

And Mary and I lived.

* * *

Though it appeared that my job was going to be mostly standing around and trying to look intimidating, I found myself still rather nervous. Intimidating wasn't one of the words I'd use to describe myself. Not that it really mattered. If I didn't make the cut, the other guys around me did, most of them being quite a bit bigger than me.

A large man named Felix explained to me what I had to do: Follow the King, look for danger, and stay quiet. All things that I thought I could be good at.

So I watched the King eat his breakfast. Zelda had eaten long before I had arrived at the castle so I didn't get to see her to my disappointment. After that, we watched the King go over some papers. He didn't write anything down and I wasn't even sure if he was reading them, but I didn't say anything. Then we followed him around the castle as he greeted random people that he passed.

After we had gone in a circle and it didn't appear that he was going to change his direction, I asked Felix if the King knew where he was going.

Felix shook his head grimly. "Don't question the Royals. Just keep quiet."

So I just came to the conclusion that the King just liked to greet everyone at the castle. That's not a bad thing really. It was actually quite nice, but the fact that the King had time to do it made me wonder if the guy really had any control over ruling the country. I knew it was mostly Zelda, but I still thought that he would get some say in things. Even if it was just knowing what was going on outside the castle walls, that would be something. Him idly walking around the castle just seemed like a thing for him to do because he had nothing else to do. I started to pity the man more.

Later in the afternoon, the King noticed it was sunny outside and decided to practice his archery. We watched him, me pretty bored. I almost tore the head off of a squirrel, thinking it was an intruder.

Felix told me I needed to relax more.

So I watched the King shoot arrows at his targets. He hit most of the bulls eyes, somewhat clumsily, but the arrow got to its destination. As the King lengthened his distance from his target, he soon starting missing the target all together.

"Drat," he muttered.

"Oh, for the love of..."

"Come on..."

I opened my mouth and Felix glared at me, silently telling me to keep it shut. I watched the King try a few more times. I guess I just have a really bad habit of trying to help people.

"Um, it might help if you pulled your shoulders back a little more."

Felix sighed.

The King turned to me to give me an interested look, moving his shoulders a little. "Do you think so? Like this?" He started moving his shoulders around, but not in the way they were suppose to.

"No, like back. No lower, only back, like this." I tried to show him by doing it myself, but when that didn't seem to be working, I quickly took a step towards the King and moved his shoulders myself, poking him in his back. "Sorry," I said, hastily pulling my hands away. I wasn't sure what sort of laws went along with touching the King, but by the even deeper frown on Felix's face, I got the hunch that I was breaking them.

"Oh, I see now"

I quickly stepped back to my position with Felix glaring at me the whole time. I shrugged at him. I didn't see the harm.

The King hit the target, almost hitting the bulls eye, but not quite. He was so close that I wasn't even sure at first. He clapped his hands in delight. "It worked!"

I saw Felix roll his eyes and the King motioned me to come to him again. I hesitantly walked over.

"They say you're a real master at this archery business. Do you want to have a go? I'd love to see it!"

"Um... okay." I took the bow and arrow he was holding.

"Go ahead!" I shot the target, hitting the bulls eye, not seeing it as a very big deal, but the King jumped up into the air, clapping his hands. "Oh, do that one over there! You think you can reach that one?"

So I started shooting arrows, each time at a slightly more difficult target. He even had me shoot an apple off the very unamused head of Felix. I shot so many arrows that I found myself very relieved when I ran out, but the King just sent someone to go retrieve the ones I already shot and it would begin again.

Suddenly, someone announced that the Queen had arrived. I had turned my head, and accidentally released the arrow before I was ready. The guy who hung out by the target signaled that the arrow only barely hit the bulls eye. I was really surprised the man hadn't gotten shot yet, especially when the King had been shooting earlier.

"Not one of your best shots there, boy, but being 500 yards away, I wouldn't be so disappointed." The King patted my shoulder. I stopped looking for Zelda and glared at the target for a moment before I took another shot, making it as perfect as it should be to the King's delight. "Brilliant! That is amazing! Can I call you Link? Oh, Zelda! Did you see that? Link here hit the target from 500 yards! My record is 300 as I'm sure I've told you before, but 500 yards, you can barely see the target over there!"

"That is impressive." For some reason I felt my face grow warm at the praise, even though the tone was slightly cold and maybe even sarcastic. I didn't care.

I stole a glance to look at her and realized that the rest of the guard and all the servants were bowing. I wouldn't think that the Royal Guard should be allowed to bow, on the count that it would be the perfect opportunity for an assassin to shoot his own arrow, but as Felix said, I guess I just needed to relax.

I bowed very quickly before she motioned us all to get up. "Well I see that you're putting the Hero to good use, Dear."

"Aw, just a bit of fun we're having. I know you're not much of a fan of archery." The King's eyes rested on Lance. "What about you, Lance? How do you feel about the sport?"

"I don't have feelings," Lance quickly responded. I really hoped the King didn't set me up in another contest with Lance. I was getting the feeling that he was starting to dislike me. I hadn't really meant to punch him in the face. I just wasn't thinking.

As the King started to talk to Lance, much to his dismay, I could feel her Majesty's eyes on me. I felt like if I met her gaze, she might attempt to kill me, but I couldn't help it.

"Now that is an impressive shot," she said again.

"Th-thank you."

"May I see the bow?"

I handed it to her. "It's a rather large bow," she commented. "On the much heavier side, I have to say."

"It is... sort of on the heavier side, I guess," I was starting to think maybe giving her a weapon wasn't such a good idea when she picked up an arrow and suddenly raised the bow. I winced at the sound of the arrow being released and blinked before I could see if it hit her target.

"Shoot," she swore, flinging her wrist about before putting her wounded finger to her mouth. "Ouch. Yes much too heavy." She handed the bow back to me before she motioned for one of the servants to hand over his binoculars. After peering in it for a moment she said, "But not a bad shot either."

She handed me the binoculars, and I realized that her arrow had actually split into my perfect one. I looked back at her, then to the target, then into the binoculars and then back at her.

The King turned around. "Oh did he shoot it again? I wasn't paying attention."

"Yes, it was quite amazing Dear. The Hero split his own arrow."

"He did? Oh, and I missed it! See if he can do it again."

I think deep down, I always knew Zelda was evil. I just didn't realize how evil she was until now.

"Oh, please do it again!" Zelda said with fake enthusiasm. "It was quite magnificent."

I looked at Zelda, trying to figure out what in all hell I could have possibly done to make her hate me this much.

She lifted an eyebrow, thinking that she had me. Her arrow was embedded into the the wood of mine. Her arm wasn't as physically strong as mine, so the force of her arrow wasn't enough to hit the hard pointed pile of my arrow and bounce off. I would have to try to shoot it like her to get it just right, but my arm was stronger than Zelda's, so unless I put less strength into it, I was going to mess it up. It wasn't something I had ever done before, not from this distance anyway.

But I wasn't going to let her outdo me, _especially_ with a bow that was too heavy for her to begin with. I raised my bow.

The width of that arrow was a_ lot_ smaller than the target's bulls eye. Because of the distance, I had to aim the arrow up, and somehow, pray that it hit the target.

"This is exciting!" declared the King.

"Don't break his concentration now," chided Zelda. I rolled my eyes as she continued to talk, doing just that. "Even if he does manage to get his aim precisely right the second time, he still has to keep in mind that the first two arrows' piles will be in between his new arrow and the target."

"And the new arrow won't embed into the pile!"

"That's right. And there are now, two piles in his way. His new arrow could bounce off and knock off some of the other arrows. Unless of course, his arrow is so strong that the force of it sends all three piles into the target. Highly doubtful considering the distance."

I sighed. Maybe it would be okay if I didn't make the shot. I tried to remember the last time I missed with a bow and arrow. Man, it was such a long time ago. But so what? Let Zelda win. Maybe it would make her stop hating me.

I judged the distance in which to angle my aim, or more like guessed my aim, and estimated on force. I tried to do it like Zelda. I even let the string snap against my fingers painfully.

You would think I was the luckiest guy in the universe. You'd think that the Goddesses must really love me to have that arrow hit its target, and split the other arrow just enough to stick, though the whole thing did wobble a lot and almost all of the arrows fell. You would think I would be happy to have the King jump up and shower me with praise.

But the Goddesses have a rather creative type of cruelty, that I immediately felt when Zelda's very unhappy eyes landed on me. For a moment, I thought she was going to grab the next arrow and shove it down my throat.

"Well, graced with the Triforce of Courage, it really should be no surprise." She turned from us, leaving abruptly. Lance quickly followed her. I watched her go, feeling something die within me. The King didn't seemed to be bothered by her departure at all. I guess he's used to that kind of thing.

And of course, he had me shoot more arrows.

* * *

At the end of the day, I was paid and told I could go home. I was walking down the hallway, trying not to get lost, which I still somehow managed to do. I saw Lance guarding a door, and I thought he sort of deserved an apology. I did almost kill him.

It wasn't because where Lance was, Zelda would be. Not really.

"Look who we have here," Lance said, leaning back and crossing his arms. "How're you liking your new job?" He grinned at me, and I felt that he had already forgiven the incident. I noticed the door was cracked open slightly, but there was no sign of Zelda.

"It's alright." I said.

Lance chucked. "How long did he make you shoot arrows? You were out there all day."

"Yea... if I have to shoot one more arrow, I might have to shoot myself."

Lance laughed. "I am so glad that I'm not you. Can you imagine it? Farore, don't imagine it. It's too horrible." He paused, as if picturing it, before shuddering. "No hard feelings though, right? About us fighting earlier. I just really, really can't do _that._"

"Yea, no hard feelings."

"I'm sorry that I almost broke your arm."

"I'm sorry I almost killed you."

There was another awkward silence. I probably should have left.

"So um, what are you doing?"

"Guarding this door. Her Highness is in the library. Got the door cracked open so I can hear if anything goes wrong. She won't let me in, which means she's doing one of two things."

I looked at him, but he waited for me to ask before continuing. Of course I was going to ask.

"What two things?"

"One, she's either crying."

I furrowed my eyebrows in concern. "Why would she be crying?"

"Ahh, I don't know!" Lance waved a hand. "She does that from time to time. I think it's a woman thing."

I frowned at him.

Lance shrugged. "Or she could be doing the second thing."

"Which is?"

"Touching herself to her romance novels."

"What?!"

"Yep," Lance sighed. "She denies it, but she can't fool me. Caught her reading some nasty shit before."

I gave him a skeptical look, but I couldn't help eye at the opening of the door, angling my head slightly trying to see her.

"Oh no you don't!" Lance put his hand on the door frame, blocking my vision with his arm. "I can't let you go in there. I'm not allowed to let the two of you be alone together ever, ever _ever_ again. Not even if you were naked, _or_ dying and it _doesn't_ matter what you say! Even if you say it's important Triforce business."

I stepped back, and opened my mouth to say something, but he cut me off.

"Nope! Don't say anything. I won't listen to you. My loyalties are to the Queen only."

I swallowed. "I understand." I did. I knew Zelda probably didn't want to see me again, and if she ever did, it would be an accident on her part.

"I'm sorry. I'm being a major cock block, but it's like, my job."

"No, it's alright. There's nothing to block anyway. I was just leaving."

"_But_ if I was to, like, drop something..." he tossed a knife to the floor where it skittered all the way to the far wall of the hallway. "and say, 'Oh, shit. I dropped my knife,' and then, if I was to leave my post and walk all the way over there to go get it..."

I stayed where I stood, trying to comprehend if he was actually saying what I thought he was saying. I didn't move as he walked around me to retrieve the knife.

"... and if I didn't see you go into the library, I wouldn't be able to tell you not to go into the room. There's nothing I could do to possibly stop the situation. I can't help it. Not really. Sometimes, people just drop things. They can't help it."

"Lance," I started slowly. "Why would you-" but I was cut short as he kicked me in the rear, and I fell into the open door.


	19. Chapter 19

-_Zelda_

I felt pissy. I didn't want to. I wanted to not care. If anything, I should be happy that my husband was having such a good time with the Hero. He deserved to be happy. My husband was much too bored all the time for it to be healthy. It was just a little excitement for him, that was all. Just a little fun.

It didn't matter that I couldn't have fun. I was too busy for games. I wasn't allowed it. I wasn't allowed to smile because some fool hearted man was shooting arrows to please his sovereign. Such entertainment was long gone for me. I could no longer enjoy Link's company.

Not that I cared.

I found myself somewhat lonely actually, and the company I wanted to be around wasn't Lance's. For someone who's job had just been saved by me, he was rather hard on his teasing recently. As if I wasn't already under a constant reminder that Link was in the castle, so close that I could talk to him if I really wanted to, but yet he was so far away from me. He was so out of my grasp that it would be easier to just ignore him.

In an attempt to make myself feel better, I decided to read while I had some free time left, and I didn't want to read some boring history on deku nuts or how to make healing potions. I wanted an escape from the real world. I wanted to read something that didn't involve thinking too hard.

I wanted to read a hardcore, disgusting romance novel. Something where I could wallow in self pity and come up with impossible scenarios that involved me and a certain blond haired bastard. Something that would make me ball my eyes out until I wasn't sad anymore.

Of course I couldn't have Lance around while I read such things. It was almost impossible to read anything fictional while he was around. He had an unhealthy interest in my personal life, and would ask me a million questions on what I was reading. He always assumed I was reading something dirty. Sometimes I was, but that's besides the point. If I wanted to have any peace while I was reading, he was going to have to wait outside.

I had been quite content actually, until my peace was ruined as something fell into the room. At first I thought that it was Lance trying to scare the living daylights out of me. He had no reason to, but why would he need a reason? I had gotten up to stand, but I didn't want him to see the book I was reading, so I sat back down abruptly and hid the book under the table. "Damn you, Lance!"

It wasn't until I heard a string of frantic apologies that I realized who it was.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I asked coldly, as if the color in Link's face could drain anymore. It did.

"L-L-Lance-he pushed me. I didn't mean to-fell in-dropped the knife!" I've heard Link ramble before, but this was the worst I've ever seen. I had never seen him scared so shitless. He couldn't even stand up all the way after he fell in and for a moment I thought he was going to vomit all over the floor.

"Link," I said calmly, trying to get him to calm down as well. He stopped rambling, but I think it was only because he stopped breathing. "Lance!" I cried out to the open door. I couldn't see him, but I knew he was there. I stood up holding my book somewhat away from my company. "I swear to all three Goddesses, if you don't face me right now, I'll reassign you to the King! What did I say about-"

"Dude-Lady, Queen," Lance started, trying to think of something to address me with. If he hadn't corrected himself after saying 'Dude' I was going to flip tables. "I'm right freaken over here!" he said, leaning on the open door and swinging on it slightly. "So I _am_ following your orders. You're not alone with him. I'm right here. And besides, he had _puppy dog eyes!_"

"Just because of the way his eyes look doesn't mean you can send him in here!"

"_Puppy dog eyes._ I can't say no to that!"

Link had recovered somewhat now, and was now glaring at Lance. He didn't appreciate the comment, even though it could be true sometimes.

"Listen, I swear it, if I hear any moaning, screaming or table thumping, I'll personally castrate him. There. Problem solved. So are you done bitching at me? Because I like to go back to guarding my door."

"You know, I think maybe I would like to replace you with Link," I said darkly.

He laughed at me. "That's a great idea, except that would be sort of the opposite to you trying to get away from him, but you're the Queen, so maybe you're seeing something I'm not."

I realized it would do no good yelling at Lance. It never did. So I turned my anger to Link. "What do you want anyway?"

The tone of my voice caused Link to jump back slightly, and he soon went back to that sickly pale color he was before. "Lance said... you were crying, or... doing something else..."

"I wasn't crying," I told him. Okay, problem solved. He could now leave, but for some reason he turned bright red instead. "What the hell's the matter with you?"

"I-I-I'm sorry!" He covered his face with one of his hands. "I didn't know-I mean, I didn't mean to-"

Lance was snickering from inside the hall, though he had moved so he was out of my view. "What the hell did you tell him I was doing!?"

"And just what are you doing, _your Majesty_?" Lance replied.

"_I'm_..." I started before hiding my book more behind my back. "I'm sorting books, because they're all in disarray and out of order!" I went deeper into the bookshelves to put the book back on the shelf. "Really, I'm going to have to talk to the librarian about this. It's ridiculous!" I found the spot where the book belonged, but it was on a higher shelf, and the other books were pressed so tightly together that I was having some difficulty making the new book fit. "Seriously, I feel like I have to reshelve all the books myself!" I broke a nail trying to pull the other books apart. "Damn it!" I shook my hand.

Link was suddenly next to me. It startled me because I hadn't heard him move. He easily separated the books for me above my head. I stuck my book in quickly, with a curt thank you. He was blocking my way to the table, so I moved deeper into the bookshelves, pulling out books slightly to read the titles and authors, making sure everything was in order. It was all in order of course, but I pretended it wasn't.

Yet Link didn't leave, his shadow cast over me, and I was having trouble reading the letters. I eventually let myself look at him. "Why are you here, Link?"

Link stared at the spines of the books, though I doubt he was reading them. It took a while for him to look at me. "Are we alright?"

"We're fine." I turned my back to him and continued my work.

"You're angry."

"Why would I be angry?"

"I don't know," he answered. "You could be angry about anything, but right now, you're angry with me."

I glared at him as I pushed a book back in. "I'm not angry with you," I lied.

"You don't want me here."

"Why would I care if you were here or not?"

"'Cause you always care."

I scoffed a laugh. "Well, you might be surprised to find out that I'm over it. I'm over you. I'm over all of it! It might not have happened as fast as it took you to get over it, but now I am."

I turned to walk away from him, but he grabbed my arm in an unfriendly grip before forcing me to face him. "Zelda," he said seriously. "My _entire_ problem... is that I'm _never_ over it." The hard grip he had on me wasn't what was frightening to me. It was the desperate look in his eyes, like that of a sick, dying man. I shoved his hand off of me, though he let go voluntarily rather than me having the strength to push it away.

"That is your problem," I agreed. "With normal people, when someone leaves the other, it means he or she is over them, and then the left person gets over it. That's how it works, Link!"

"What are you talking about?"

"You-!" I paused, clenching my fists as I tried to reign in my anger. I didn't want Lance to hear me. I didn't want Lance to know that I had gotten this upset. He'd think he won. "Ten months ago, you just waltz into the castle, pretending to be wet and cold-"

"I was wet and cold."

"Shut up! Then taking full advantage of my hospitality! Don't tell me you didn't come to the castle, to _no_t fuck me, Link. You better not say that. And then you leave!" I could see the guilt in his face now. "You made me think you were coming back."

"I told you I didn't know if I was coming back. And I did come back! I'm right here."

I laughed dryly. "Oh, _now_ you're here. You're here _now!_ It's too late now!" It had been too late for a very long time. I felt tears burning in my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. "You always leave." My voice was dark with anger. Being angry would be the only way to keep from crying.

"But I always come back." His voice was weak as he said this.

"You always come back _too late._" And I could see it. The last thing I said hurt Link. He had stopped breathing, staring at me hopelessly. It reminded me of the first time he ever came back too late. I felt myself being sucked into his despair, but I pulled myself away.

There was one thing that Link loved more than me. It was his freedom. I didn't think he realized it, but I saw it within the subconscious decisions that he had made. Link wasn't late when he had to be there, when the situation was dire, but for something as simple as my stupid feelings for him, when I wanted him to stay with me just because of my own selfish reasons, he wouldn't stay, he wouldn't come. He was gone. And then I would be over it by the time he came back. It was okay. Link deserved his freedom. I had done this to him. I had chosen him to be the Hero. I should let him have his freedom.

I took a breath, shaking away all those silly human emotions. "It doesn't matter now," I said, and even I was surprised on how light my voice sounded.

"It doesn't matter!?" Link growled as life seeped back into his face. He was now using anger to make himself feel better. I wondered if it worked for him as much as it worked for me. "If it doesn't matter to you, then why are you so angry?"

"I'm not angry."

Link laughed. "Okay, just lie about it then."

I ignored him, going deeper among the books. Link followed me.

"I've figured out what you're mad about." I didn't answer him. "You're pissed off because you don't know when I'm going to show up again. It has nothing to do if you want me here or not. It's because I don't show up when you expect me to, and I do when you don't think I will. I bet that drives you crazy, doesn't it? Not having every little control of my life pisses you off."

I slammed a book into the shelf. "Why would I care what you did with your stupid life?"

"Because you're a control freak and have a rather large interest in me."

"I'm not interested in you!" I hissed back, just because I hated the way he said it. "The only interest I have in you is how you're needed to save the country. Besides that, you could do whatever the hell you wanted and I wouldn't care!"

"Is that why you gave me away to the King? Because it was practical. Because you care about the King's safety?"

"Of course it was."

"I think you did it because having me as your bodyguard wasn't your idea. It was the King's. You couldn't let the King do something without you controlling him. You panicked when the situation went in a direction you didn't expect. I was suddenly yours and you weren't ready for that so you had to take charge yourself. _You_ had to be the one in control, so you gave me away like I was a piece of property."

"That doesn't make any sense, at all!"

"You giving me away doesn't make any sense at all. I could protect you! I could protect you better than anyone!"

"Maybe I gave you away because I didn't want you! It's your own fault! You chose to belong to me. You could have let Lance win. But you didn't. You chose to be under my charge, making me have every right to do what I will with you, so I gave you away!"

"But if it was your decision, would you want me? Would you want me to be your bodyguard?"

"Of course not, or I would have kept you! Isn't that clear enough?!"

"I'm just trying to follow your twisted logic to things."

"I _don't_ want you, Link. I don't want you to work for me. I don't want you to do things for me. I don't even want to see you, but for some reason I keep having that misfortune."

"Then fire me."

"You are not mine to fire."

"Am I not? I thought you could fire anyone you liked. The King's sure as hell isn't going to stop you. Go ahead. Fire me. Fire me even though I have a pregnant wife to provide for. Fire me on the sole and only reason that you can't stand to look at me. Do it."

I was so angry, I thought of hitting him, but I kept calm, or at least calmer than I was a few seconds ago. "You don't get it! I don't care! You can keep this job, or you can quit. You can move to another country, or stay on the land _I_ gave you. You can keep your wife, or find another one. I don't care. You could leave right now, or you can just keep standing there, blocking my light. I'm not going to do anything about it, because I don't give a shit!" He looked up at the light, not realizing he had been blocking it from me. "So do whatever the hell you want!"

I started reshelving books with extra force and energy, refusing to look at him again.

"Then I'm going to do whatever the hell I want."

"Fine."

"Because you told me to."

"Good."

I wasn't paying attention to him, so I didn't notice the curl of fingers around my chin until it was too late, and he was already turning my face towards him. The kiss lasted for a second and a half, enough time for it to warm my entire body before he pulled away. There was no time to see the satisfied look on his face, or if it was even satisfied at all because I slapped him hard as soon as I could move my hand.

He stepped back from me and looked away. I could see his cheek burning red from where I had hit him. "I'm sorry," he mumbled, hurt by my rejection.

He turned more away from me, and I could tell he was about to leave. Of course he would leave. That was what he was good at. I didn't know if he was leaving because he thought I wanted him to, or because deep down, he knew he wanted to disconnect himself from me and the castle, or maybe it was a combination of both. It didn't matter though. I hated him for it. I hated him for all the times he kept me waiting for him. I hated him for listening to me when I told him we couldn't be together. As far back as I could remember, I hated him for not staying with me the first time I had asked him to.

I was so angry, that hitting him once and watching him go wasn't enough. It wasn't enough for me to see his stinging cheek and hurt expression.

We were out of sight from Lance, which was most likely a good thing. He would probably have to act if I started physically harming someone.

I pulled Link back to me. He stumbled the few steps, and then I hit him again. I thought if I kept hitting him, if I kept hating him, I'd be happy to see him go.

Link was so surprised that I hit him the second time, that he made no reaction at all. He just stood there with a blank look on his face. It wasn't until I attempted to claw his eyes with my nails that he started to react, bringing his arms up to protect himself. I frantically swatted at him with my hands. I was so upset with myself, that none of the blows really had any power behind them, but I couldn't stop, I was just so angry.

"Zelda," I heard him start, but I didn't slow my assault. "Stop it." He managed to grab my arms, though I was able to slip out of his grip a few times before he got hold of them, keeping them at my side. I struggled vainly, tears finally freeing themselves from my eyes. "Calm down, Zelda."

I opened my mouth to shout for Lance, but when Link saw my intake of breath, he knew what I was about to do. In an attempt to keep me quiet, he covered my mouth with his own. Or at least, that's what I thought he was doing.

The sound I made came out muffled, and I felt like the more I struggled, the deeper he was able to make the kiss. Tears were now streaming freely down my cheeks. He kept his mouth moving firmly against mine until my struggling slowed. He let me breathe and it came out in a sob.

"Shh," and he kissed my tears away before returning to my mouth. I hungrily kissed him back. I was so weak. One touch from him, just one connection of skin, and I was ready to throw my clothes off and beg him to have me. I was so pathetic.

I went to move my arms, there was too much space between us, but he held me firmly, probably thinking I was going to smack him some more. I leaned towards him, trying to get closer and let out a whimper when his body was out of reach.

He pulled away, analyzing me, most likely trying to figure out if letting go of me was a good idea. The look in my eyes should have been a warning, but Link was still uncertain.

I leaned forward trying to reach his lips, and he reluctantly let me. I kissed him fiercely, almost violently. It surprised him. His hands slipped. I flung my arms around him. He had to place his hands on my hips to keep his balance as I threw myself at him. With my hands now free, they ravaged over his body, as if claiming everything they touched. My hands weren't gentle as they went over his face and ears. I moved clumsily and blind, almost on the verge of smacking again, but Link didn't seem to mind anymore, if anything, his kisses seemed to become more heated. What I felt and what I remembered painted a picture in my head. From what I could tell, he hadn't changed at all in the last ten months. He was still perfect. Oh, Goddesses, how it made me hate him even more.

Eventually, my hand closed around something much more sensitive, and I didn't care to be anymore gentle than I had been. He let out an "oof" his muscles contracting defensively away from me as one of his arms raised to grasp the bookshelf. He turned his head to where Lance was, wondering if the bodyguard had heard him, but he didn't have time to look for Lance. I was stroking him mercilessly, feeling him harden in my hand. His fingers on my hip dug into bone as he gritted his teeth together. The arm that held me was straining. I wasn't sure if he was going to fling me away from him, or pull me closer. I don't think he knew which of the two he was going to do either.

He rested his head on my shoulder with a quiet, frustrated sound. I was relentless, pulling on my new toy until he gave in. He let go of the bookshelf, taking my arm and forcing me to let go of him, but only so it would be out of the way for when he pressed my hips against his. The sensation sent me shivering before he sank his teeth into my neck. It didn't make sense, how being bitten could feel so good when it should hurt. As well as when his hands went to my rear and gently squeezed, that shouldn't feel as ridiculously good as it did, either. My face was pressed against his chest, my arms clinging around him, trying to be as close as humanly possible. His tunic still had the faint smell of trees. I wished it was gone so I could smell the scent of his skin instead.

He started leaving a wet trail of kissing up my neck, bringing my hips against him again, and I rubbed my body against his like a cat in heat. I wanted him so much, that I was willing to take him right here, even with the threat of Lance finding us and his promise of doing something awful to Link.

As Link found my mouth with his, our hips grinding against each other shamelessly, I could sense Link start to loose it too. I always stopped thinking immediately when these things happened, but somehow Link was usually able to keep hold of at least some part of his brain. He pushed me against the bookshelf, which wobbled slightly from the weight of us.

Link stopped what he was doing, his eyes still glazed over with lust and his face was slightly pink. He stared at the bookshelf, thinking of how to solve this new dilemma. There was no time to think! Lance could have heard something by now! If he showed up it would be all over. We had to do it before then. And I was just too impatient to watch Link think. I tugged at his belt. We could do it on the floor for all I cared.

Link broke out of his thoughts when he felt me tugging on his belt, and put his hands on my shoulders. He pushed me deeper into the library, farther away from Lance until we came across to another table.

Okay, table was good.

I winced at the sound of him dragging a chair out of the way. He turned his head in the direction of Lance again as I climbed onto to the table. I kicked him to make his attention go back to me and he started to undo his belt. He was taking too long, so I swatted his hand away and did it myself. I must have set a new record for belt unbuckling.

He took a breath in frustration at my swatting, and decided to use his hands to push my skirt up and my underwear down instead. I wrapped my legs around his hips and used that to pull myself closer to him as he pushed down his pants.

Before he did anything else, he clamped a hand over my mouth, eyes pleading, yet still demanding me to be quiet. If I wasn't quiet, he was going to stop and leave.

Okay, I would be quiet! Just get on with it! I was going to jump him if he didn't start moving.

I always forgot about the first shock of him pushing into me, and I grabbed the wrist of his hand over my mouth, trying to suppress my cry. Link kissed my neck, pushing all the way in, letting me adjust. I pushed against him, wanting him to start moving faster, but with the first thrust, the table moved with a horrible sound. Link softly swore, before pulling out. I thought he was going to stop, and I tried to make a noise in protest, but he just pulled me closer to the edge of the table before going back in. I went back to my pure bliss and he found my free hand, lancing our fingers together. His mouth returned to my neck, gnawing on it possessively. I felt him leave a mark. I wondered if it was suppose to be payback, from when I had left one on him.

It was quick. Both of us were rather impatient for satisfaction, and to tell the truth, if it was any longer, I might have passed out. I was having trouble breathing with his hand clasped over my mouth, but it was a good reminder for me to try to keep quiet. His hand had smelled like leather and soap.

But when it was over, I felt cold from the light sweat the both of us had made. The mess was mostly caught in my skirt to prevent it form getting on the table, and as the both of us attempted to catch our breaths, both of our brains decided to turn back on as we realized what we had done.

He got off of me, and started walking away even as he readjusted his clothes. I got off the table, moving just as quickly as I attempted to keep my dirty skirt and underwear from touching anything. I had to change my clothes as soon as possible. I didn't care about how fast Link left. He could deal with his own guilt by himself. I just had to get to my chambers as soon as possible.

The doorway came into my view just as I saw Link push past Lance. "Whoa," Lance watched Link go down the hallway. "It got awfully quiet in there, so I just assumed you guys had _stopped_ fighting." He was answered with me pushing past him, just as Link had. I walked down the hall, holding my dirty skirts in one of my hands, Lance quickly following me. I knew he had to follow me, but I wished he would just stay where he was. This was all his fault really, disobeying my orders! I knew this would happen! He wasn't suppose to let me be alone with Link! "What happened in there?"

I stopped my walking, spun around, and punched Lance as hard as I could in the face.


	20. Chapter 20

-_Link_

It wasn't exactly that I had become good at lying, I just had become good at not talking about things. I had hardly said anything to Mary when I came home, just the short vague answers to the questions that I heard every day. I had the gall to give her a quick kiss in greeting, even as I could still smell the sent of Zelda on my clothes. I bathed. I washed my clothes. I did things like I did any other day, like it was natural.

It was so easy for me to separate my life into two different beings, like I was two different people. At home, I was just simply 'Link' with a simple life. At the castle, I was the Hero, and the Hero was able to serve the Queen, even if he wasn't directly working under her.

Coming home from the castle, I would find my mood falling back to the same melancholy way it always was, with Mary brightening it up slightly every once in a while. Going to the castle, I felt an odd sense of excitement. I didn't want to say that I was _hoping_ something bad would happen, but it gave me some hope that _something_ might happen. Maybe I could have purpose again. Maybe I could save someone's life. It soon became apparent that any danger was very unlikely to happen in the palace during these times, but it felt good to have a sword strapped to my back again, even if following the King around wasn't very exciting.

And each time I saddled up Epona to make my way to the castle, I couldn't help feeling a little excited. After all, even if nothing ever seemed to happen anymore, there was that small chance that maybe I could see Zelda. She had been avoiding me. I didn't blame her. I had been an ass, just leaving her like that. I was afraid of what would have happened if I had stayed. Zelda could be so crazy sometimes. I just didn't know what to do. So I ran.

Yet, I still looked for her as I went down the halls.

My job wasn't very lively, but it wasn't bad either. Though, it seemed like I had become more of a friend to the King than any sort of bodyguard. He would take me on his hunting trips, he would offer to play chess with me, and asked my opinion on almost everything, from food to music. I actually felt kind of good about it, being a friend to someone that didn't have any. The other guards grew to dislike me. They were not impressed with me. I was suppose to be some legendary hero, and all they'd seen me do was defeat the King in chess a couple times. I came to the conclusion they were just jealous.

The King wasn't bad. Awkward sometimes, but who wasn't? And even though I was sort of being ordered to spend time with him, I thought I would have even if it wasn't so.

I didn't think about how I was fucking his wife. No, that was pushed down deep into the recesses of my brain. In my mind, the two weren't even married. They were completely, separate individuals. I wouldn't be able to keep up the friendship if I thought about the truth. I was never good at lying to people, but lying to myself, man I was a pro.

So when the King asked to have a private conversation with me, I was taken completely off guard when I realized what the subject was.

He had sent the guards away so that we could have some privacy. I thought that it was sort of weird, but then I felt maybe I was just such an awesome bodyguard that I could take on any sort of danger all by myself. That was how much the King trusted me.

"Take a seat, Link my boy!" We were in the room that we usually played chess in. I sat down in front of the chessboard, but the King moved his chair so that it was closer next to me. I guess we weren't playing then. I wondered if I should start feeling uncomfortable or not.

"If it's alright with you, I'd like to ask you about something... personal." His eyes wandered around the room somewhat nervously, before he took to rubbing his mustache. "You're a man that knows how to get things done, aren't you, lad?" He patted my shoulder. I had come accustomed to just nodding to everything the King said, something that Felix had told me to do. It seemed to please the King so I just kept doing it. "Well, you have that lovely wife!" he continued.

I nodded my head.

"And she's pregnant with your child, isn't that right?"

It was most likely a rhetorical question, but since I had no idea what this conversation was about, I answered instead of simply nodding me head. "Well, I assume so, Sire." It came out a little darker than I meant it to. I thought, for some reason, the King knew something. I thought he was implying that Mary's child wasn't mine. I didn't realize how stupid that thought was until I saw the somewhat startled look on his face.

"Well, yes. I guess we can only assume about... anything really." I watched him get uncomfortable and realized my mistake.

I smiled warmly at him. "Of course it's my child."

"Of course it is!" he agreed eagerly. "Just look at you! Who wouldn't want to have your child?"

And I started to get uncomfortable again.

"You must really know how to make them don't you?" The King laughed. I failed to nod my head as I continued to try to figure out where this was going. "Well, what I wanted to ask you about is... Well you see... Zelda hasn't been very... you know..."

"What?" I was forgetting my manners again, but I was having such a hard time following this conversation.

"Well the point is... I wanted to ask you... how do you know, if you're infertile?" and he asked it with such a straight face, that I was sure he was kidding. I sat there, staring at him, waiting for him to pat my shoulder and say how I was always such a good sport.

When none of that happened, I realized that maybe I should say something. "Why-why would you think that?" As I spoke, realization of the situation started to come to me. Zelda hadn't had a child. How long had she been married to the King and not had a child? If Zelda didn't have any children, she wouldn't be reborn. I had taken it for granted. I hadn't noticed. She seemed to get married away so fast, that I had no such worry of her not conceiving.

I also realized that I had stopped listening to the King and turned my attention back to him.

"Everyone thinks it! Eleven years, no heir. They're all just itching to get me off the thrown. Those selfish bastards. As if Zelda would marry any of them. She may not like me very much, but she absolutely loathes all of them!"

"Who are 'they'?"

"Oh you know, _them_." He started listing names of people that were probably of great importance, but I didn't recognize any of them. "But you don't think it's true, do you Link?"

I wanted to reassure him, but no matter how much I liked the guy, Zelda needed to conceive a child, and if he couldn't do it, someone had to.

"Let's... let's just try to figure out the truth, first." I saw his face fall as I said this, and I felt really bad. I truly did. "How many times have you... you know, tried doing this?"

"Well, I can't say it's all that much, but-"

"Just give me an estimate if you have to."

"Three," and he seemed rather proud of himself.

"During the year?"

His face became appalled and he slapped me on the shoulder. "No, boy! During our marriage!"

"Wait, what?"

He became offended. "Well, maybe it doesn't happen as much as it does in other people's marriages, but Zelda... you know, is not very interested in the subject. Some women are just like that. We can't all be lucky. It's a shame, really. Zelda's such a pretty girl. She just doesn't like sex."

My face went blank as my mind started to wonder where it shouldn't. Zelda not liking sex? I couldn't help but think about how she literally attacked me in the library not too long ago, how she tore off my belt and threw it to the ground like it was a poisonous snake. I couldn't help remembering the hungry lust in her eyes, or all the times that she moaned and withered with pleasure.

I gripped my knees as I tried hard not to think about Zelda like that. This was the worst possible time to be thinking of her in that way. I realized that again, I hadn't been hearing what the King was saying so I went back to nodding my head.

"... and she's just not ... attracted to me... I mean, I know I'm not that attractive..."

It occurred to me that I should be disagreeing with him on this, and quickly changed my nodding into shaking. "No," I managed to make myself say.

"You think I'm attractive?"

"Yes, I mean no," I said quickly, realizing how wrong that sounded, "I mean, well it's like-"

"Oh, well yes! I know I'm actually rather dashing to look at!" He motioned around his face. "But what you can't see," He motioned to the rest of his body. "Well..." he made a noise before shaking his head.

I wished I could disappear, Farore's Wind away or pull out some magical instrument that would take me somewhere else. If we had been talking about any other woman, any woman other than Zelda, it wouldn't have mattered. I wouldn't have cared. But not Zelda. Not her.

I couldn't magically teleport out of there so I tried to come up with words to say that might possibly be helpful. "Well... Well... maybe... maybe she'll like it better... if you do it in a different way."

"Do it in a different way? There's more than one way?"

I stared blankly at him.

When I didn't say anything, he spoke again. "Because I'm not into that kinky stuff."

I still couldn't bring myself to form words in my mouth.

"But if that's the only thing that works... maybe you should tell me what to do."

And I still couldn't bring myself to speak. I realized it was because I didn't want to. I didn't want to tell him ways to seduce Zelda. Not my Zelda. A surge of jealousy I didn't know I had started to course through my body. I thought I had gotten over something as pitiful as jealousy, but then again, Zelda never had really done anything to cause the emotion. She never showed any affection to the King, nothing more than what was like the love of a sibling. I had even forgotten that they were _supposed_ to be sleeping with each other. Zelda had had sex with me more times than she had with her husband of eleven years. I realized I wanted it to stay that way.

I clutched the the seat of my chair. I thought I could feel the Goddesses eyeing down at me disapprovingly, like an adult staring down at a child who wouldn't share his favorite toy with that kid that he hated.

I let out a breath very slowly, mentally punching myself in the gut as I tried to speak. "Well, Zelda..." I winced. "Her Majesty..." I corrected, rubbing my face hard with my hand. "...is a..." I couldn't think of words. The first word I wanted to say was 'controlling', but that wasn't right. "Is a... powerful..." The King started nodding his head in agreement which I found strange since I wasn't even sure what I was saying. "... dominant woman." I finally finished the sentence. "And you're..." I realized I couldn't assume how he was in bed so I left that sentence hanging. The King just kept nodding his head, so trusting in my words even though they didn't make much sense. "So I guess sometimes...maybe if you... were more ..." I seriously tried to think about what turned Zelda on. I actually didn't understand it myself, since it seemed like all I really did was piss her off all the time.

"Pissing her off," I mumbled.

"What was that?"

I did. I pissed her off when I brought Mary to the castle. I pissed her off when I sent Lance away so I could be alone with her. I had pissed her off when I wouldn't get in the tub with her, and I pissed her off when I didn't come back when she wanted me to. Even the little things. Like me moving too slowly for her. Not doing what she asked of me, right the second she wanted it done. Maybe I didn't always do it on purpose, but a lot of the times, I did. I was being defiant, because I knew it would make her want me. You shouldn't be defiant to the Queen. Actually, I was probably one of the few people that didn't do exactly what she wanted at a drop of a hat.

"Defiant."

"Defiant?"

No that wasn't the right word either. Being defiant was something I had done. The King didn't have to be defiant to the Queen. He was the King. At least I didn't think he should have to. "Just be... try to be more... dominant." I finally said. Dominant like Zelda.

The King nodded his head in agreement.

"I'm sorry," I said quickly. Another man hearing he should be more dominant in bed was not a flattering thing, and I was speaking to the King of all people.

"No, no, it's alright!" he said waving his hand. "To tell the truth she absolutely terrifies me! She's down right scary. You know what I mean, right?

I nodded my head.

"But I'm the husband. I'm the King. I should be more... dominant." He stroked his mustache thoughtfully. I was hoping that the conversation was coming to an end, but he continued talking. "If I just wasn't such a pansy... How do you do it?"

My eyes widened and for some reason, I thought he was asking how I did it with Zelda. Of course he was talking about Mary. But with Mary, I didn't do anything. I didn't particularly want to do anything. It just happened, like a daily routine, like milking a cow or washing dishes. So instead, I answered as if I was talking about Zelda, because I thought it would be more helpful. "Just don't let her know that you're scared shitless. Just do it, even if she kills you afterwards because if you're dead... then oh well... it was worth it."

He slapped me on the shoulder. "Good advice! Well spoken."

I thought it was horrible advice as I imagined Zelda throwing the poor King off the eighth story banister.

* * *

Finally the conversation was over and we continued on with our day, but I couldn't shake off the feeling of horror the talk had caused me. Three times in eleven years was most likely the reason for the royal couple to be childless, but it still scared me that the King could be infertile. The thought of being reborn without Zelda terrified me. I needed her. I needed her so badly that the word 'needed' wasn't enough to describe it.

And though I had tried to be helpful, my advice didn't seem that great to me at all. Zelda could forgive me for being an ass, because I felt like she sort of loved me, or had some sort of feelings for me. At least she found me attractive, I knew that for sure. The King on the other hand, I felt like I had sent him to his grave. If he truly angered the Queen, the situation could become so bad that a new King would have to be found. And I like this King. There was no telling what a new King would be liked, or even if he would be liked.

So I thought I should say something to Zelda. I felt like she would want to be warned if the King was going to try to pull a move on her out of the blue. I also wanted to talk to her about those three times, or rather, why _only_ three times. Something was stopping it from happening more and I felt like it was Zelda's doing. I didn't know if she was just being stubborn or if there was something actually really wrong with the King that I didn't know about. The problem had to be fixed.

I ignored my jealousy. That was unimportant.

When my day had ended, I roamed the halls until I cam across Lance guarding the same door that he had been guarding last time I saw him. I noted that Zelda went to the library routinely at this time of day.

Before I could get a word out though, Lance spoke. "What do you want? Oh, why am I even asking? The answer is _NO_."

"I just wanted to talk to her..." The end of my sentence sort of faded to nonexistence when I realized just how unlikely that was going to happen now. I tried anyway. "Seriously. You can come in with me. You can watch me the entire time if you have to. It's that important."

"Is it about the Triforce?"

"Sort of."

"Then nope!"

I opened my mouth to say something else, but suddenly noticed the black eye Lance had. The bruise was beginning to fade and had turned into a nice green color. "What happened to your face?" I asked instead.

"Nothing."

"Your face is all bruised up."

"Oh is it? Because I haven't noticed!"

"What happened? Was the Queen attacked?"

"Yes," Lance replied, but with his habit of being sarcastic, I couldn't tell if it was the truth.

"How come I didn't know about this?!"

"Don't worry. I killed them all. There were like 500 of them. I took them all down in eleven seconds."

"And one hit you in the face?"

"Yep, only one hit me in the face."

I studied Lance's face for a moment as he stared directly ahead, not looking at me. "Did... Zelda do that to you?"

"No! Please," he scoffed. "You realize how tiny she is? Her head comes up to here on me." He measured a hand to the middle of his chest. "She would practically have to jump to even reach my face!"

"So, she punch you in the face."

"I don't want to talk about it."

I couldn't hide my grin and I tried to bite back my laugh.

"This is _not_ funny! And she doesn't get _any_ man points for this because one, she sprained her wrist, and two she dislocated her shoulder trying to reach me. If you hurt yourself more than the person you're trying to punch, it doesn't count!"

"Is she alright?" I asked seriously.

"Oh, she's fine! She's just used her stupid little healing potion and no one can tell! If you ask her she'll just deny it." He yelled more into the doorway. "The lying bitch that she is!"

"Well, I'm sorry about that."

"You should be sorry. It's your fault! I'm never helping you again!"

"But, I just need to talk-"

"Nope! No way am I letting you go in there. I don't want to get the other eye busted and look like a raccoon. I _hate_ raccoons."

"Can I set up some sort of appointment?" I asked though I didn't have the time to wait for an appointment. I needed to talk to Zelda now.

"I don't know. What do I look like, a secretary?"

The door that Lance was guarding suddenly opened. "What are you yelling about?!" Zelda asked annoyed. As soon as her eyes found me she glared. "What the hell do you want now?"

"Should I castrate him?" Lance asked, flipping out a knife from his sleeve.

"I need to talk to you," I said quickly, afraid of her answer. "I accidentally told the King something."

I saw Zelda pale, like she was about to faint.

"Not... that."

She recomposed herself. "Fine. We'll have a meeting. Watch him Lance."

"Oh, I'm watching him."

I rolled my eyes.

Zelda let the two of us in and we sat at one of the tables in the library. Zelda sat across from me, Lance on my right, staring at me the entire time as he played with his knife. I ignored him.

"This better be important," Zelda said.

I tried to think of the best way to start the conversation. "This is kind of on the personal side, so I don't know if you're going to want Lance to hear it."

"Lance is staying," Zelda ordered.

"And besides, I know her freaking menstrual cycle, so if you're afraid of me hearing you confess your pussy feelings for her, that's your problem," Lance said, pointing the knife at me.

I wondered if I was ever going to get on Lance's good side again. "Okay, fine. What's this about you only having sex with the King three times since you've married him eleven years ago?"

Zelda seemed shocked at first, before putting on her 'I don't care face'. "It's more like two and a half, but if he wants to call that last one a go, he can have it!" she laughed.

I was surprise on how unconcerned she was about the subject.

"I don't think any of that's your business, and I don't appreciate you talking about it with my husband."

"Zelda," I said sternly. "You know how important it is for you to have a child."

"Oh, you think I don't know how to get pregnant?! I've only done it a hundred times before! So maybe I don't sleep with my husband as much as you fuck that whore of a wife you have! Maybe I don't need to get off all the time! Maybe I'm not ready to have a baby!"

"You see, it's times like this when I think she's just crazy," Lance said to me.

I bit back what I was going to say. I wished Zelda would leave Mary out of this. "Okay, so maybe you have all that planned out on your own and you don't need me butting into your business."

"Correct."

"But... the King sort of asked my advice on the subject." And at that Lance went into a fit of laughter, sprawling onto the table.

Both Zelda and me watched him for a moment before Zelda turned her head to me. "And what did you say?"

"Well, I wasn't a very good person to ask." I dropped my gaze from her eyes.

"Link," Lance said still laughing. "You have to be the _best_ person to ask. Considering you're fucking his-" he couldn't finish because he was laughing too hard. "You must know it all when it comes to-!" and more laughter.

"Can he go?" I asked.

"Lance, leave," Zelda ordered.

"Oh no you don't!" Lance pointed at me. "I know what you're trying to do here. You're trying to get alone with the Queen, _again_!"

"I'm not trying to do anything!" I cried out frustrated.

Zelda raised her hand at Lance who was about to respond before addressing me. "Link, what did you say to my husband?"

"Can't you just agree to sleep with him?" I pleaded. "No matter what sort of embarrassing thing he does tonight?"

Zelda groaned. "Farore!" she swore. "But he's so..."

"He seems pretty nice to me," I said.

"It's like making love to a child, only he has that horrible mustache, and he never shuts up the entire time!"

"Yep," Lance agreed. "I always know when they're doing it because I can hear them bickering behind the door. It's the only time they talk to each other."

"It's because I can't escape!" Zelda continued. "I can't get away! He starts telling me about his family tree, and planting seeds, but he's being all literal about it, and he thinks it's sexy and it's just the weirdest thing!" Zelda shivered. "Ugh, I just can't stand it."

"Maybe you should have Link talk to him about it. Link can give him some advice on what to say and what not to say." Lance grinned evilly at me.

"No," was all I said. But I knew it didn't matter what I said. If Zelda wanted me to give more advice to the King, that's where she'd send me and that's what I had to do.

"All the advice in the world couldn't fix him," Zelda said. I sighed in relief. "He's beyond all hope."

"I'm sorry," I said. It was hard enough to imagine Zelda in bed with another man. It was even harder to know that she had to force herself to be with that other man. Maybe having sex with Mary wasn't like being with Zelda, but I didn't dislike it. It was actually quite comforting when I was feeling lonely with myself. Knowing she was there was a life saver. But Zelda didn't have that. I imagined her uncomfortable, maybe even in pain, as someone else pushed himself into her. I imagined her cowering away as someone else put his mouth on her, squirming away from someone else touching her.

"Maybe, if I had lots of wine beforehand." She turned to Lance. "Like five bottles. We'll hide them under the bed, and I can just drink some whenever he's not looking."

"Five bottles of wine, would _kill_ you," Lance informed her.

"I'll be fine!" She looked over at me. "Link are you okay?"

"Don't do it."

"What?"

"You don't have to do it if you don't want to."

"What are you talking about? Of course I have to! You're the one that was trying to convince me to do it tonight only moments ago!"

"I've changed my mind," I said darkly.

"Alright then. I won't have an heir, because you've changed your mind! Things don't change just because you've changed your mind, Link!"

"Maybe there's another way."

"_What_ other way?!"

"I don't know," I admitted. "The King's worried that he's infertile."

Zelda became serious. "Why would he think that?"

"I don't know. Maybe because he's been married for eleven years and he still has no kids."

"Well, we've only done it two and a half times."

"Has he been with anyone else?" I asked.

"I don't know," Zelda admitted. "I doubt it, but I had told him that he could have other mistresses if he wanted to. I didn't want him to have to suffer because of me."

"What happens if he's infertile?"

"Then I'll just have to find someone else."

"You better hurry up then, before you get..."

"Before I get what, Link?"

"Older," I growled back at her.

"Well," Lance pipped up brightly. "You could always have Link's kid, say it's the King's, the King gets to stay King, everyone's happy."

"Lance," Zelda glared at him. "I already told you, I cannot have Link's child!"

"What about Lance?" I asked quietly.

"_What?!_" Zelda spat the word, like it was the most awful thing she had ever tasted.

Lance got off from his chair and actually leapt away from her, as if he was afraid she would jump him right there. "No," he said pointed a finger at her, before turning to me, finger still pointing. "No." he repeated. "No offense, but I would have to kill myself after." He turned to Zelda. "No offense."

"I'm just trying to think of people that I don't absolutely hate," I said.

"Well, I'm flattered," Lance said, "but still slightly disturbed. Mostly disturbed."

"Link, I don't mind having sex with my husband. He is my husband. I've done it before."

"What if he's infertile?"

"He's not," she said, as if the statement was true because she only deemed it so. "It's unlikely," she corrected. I still didn't feel any better. She turned to Lance. "Now remember, about those bottles of wine,"

Right, she didn't mind at all. There was nothing I could do except trust Zelda, and I left the castle feeling stressed out and worried. If Zelda had married me, children wouldn't have been a problem. Making her happy wouldn't have been a problem.

It would have all been problems, but in my mind, in my imaginary little world, everything would have been perfect.

I let out a long sigh as I rode Epona back home, back to my melancholy feelings. Zelda would figure something out. She always did. That was what she was for.

I ignored my jealousy. That was unimportant.


	21. Chapter 21

_-Zelda_

"The nerve of him!" I muttered, sipping from my wine glass. Lance only let me have one bottle, but I was determined to get more before my husband retired to bed with me. "Thinking he can just butt into my personal life like that! It isn't any of his business! My relationship with my husband has nothing to do with him! I bet he fucks his wife _all_ the time. He probably does it at night and in the morning! Disgusting!"

"That's cool," Lance said, no longer listening to me. "Can I go now?"

"And then he has the balls to change his mind and be jealous! _Jealous_! Can you believe it!? Was I jealous when he brought that whore to the castle, rubbing his hands all over her!?"

"Is that a rhetorical question? Because we both know the answer to that one."

"Oh, shut up!"

"Can I go now?" he asked again. I had already changed for bed, but I had called for Lance to return to the room after my maids had left. I hadn't wanted to be alone.

"Is my husband here yet?"

"No?"

"Then no. You are supposed to be guarding me. That's your job!"

Lance stared at me for a moment. "Are you nervous?"

"About what?"

"Well, I know how delicate females tend to get on this sort of subject."

I suddenly remembered the day after my wedding night. I had cried and cried. I was so young then and Lance, just as many years younger, had handled the situation with such surprising maturity. I waved my hand. "Of course not. I have done this all before. I'll just lay on my bed, like a piece of _meat_, staring up at the ceiling, until he falls asleep." I took another sip of wine. "This bottle is already half empty."

"Well, if you had slowed down it would have lasted longer."

"Can I have another one?"

"No. How about you get into bed, and just rest for a little while. Sleep off a little of all that," he motioned to the wine bottle.

I started to pout. "I'm _not_ drunk. And my husband isn't here yet."

"Maybe he forgot about it."

"You think so?" I said in relief.

"No, but I want to leave now." Lance carefully pulled my glass out of my hand. "You need to go to bed." He put his hand on my shoulder and pushed me towards the bed. "I'm going to be right outside the door, so if anything really goes wrong, you can call for me. Well, at least until my shifts done. Then you're on your own."

I pouted at him some more. Maybe I was a tad tipsy. "It's not even all that late yet."

He pulled the covers of the bed down and pushed me onto it. "Maybe so, but I don't want to be around you. The sooner you go to bed, the sooner I can leave." He went to the bathroom where he quickly dumped the contents of my glass in the sink and filled it with water instead. He sat it on my nightstand. "Drink that."

"I'm not drunk!"

"I'm sure you're not." He turned on the lamp. "You're just nervous."

"I'm not that either."

"Now, just lay here and relax for a little while," he dug under my pillow where I kept a book hidden. "Here's your nasty romance book," He handed it to me. "Don't look at me like that."

"Oh, Lance, but-"

"No, no, no, no... You drink your water. Read a little. I'm leaving."

"Can you at least send Annabell in?"

"Yes!" he said in great relief. "Annabell will be here, _right_ away. But I'm leaving, so goodbye."

"Goodbye," and I think he winced at how pleasant my voice was.

Annabell let me have another bottle of wine, which I hid under my bed with the other half empty one. I wasn't drunk. Well, I wasn't _too_ drunk. And as I began to read, the effects of the alcohol wore off some and I eventually dozed to sleep.

* * *

When my husband burst into the room, I had completely forgotten the conversation I had with Link, and stared uncomprehending at the man who was now breathing hard as if he had run the way up to the eighth story all at once.

He undid something around his waist and tossed it loudly on top of my bed stand. It was the scabbard and knife that sometimes he wore as decoration. I doubted the thing was even still sharp, but I did know that it did not belong on my bed stand. I looked up at him, greeting him with a warning in my voice. "Hello, Dear."

"I am here for bed," he replied, without his usual greeting.

"Well I can see that."

He turned off my lamp. I wasn't actually using it anymore, since the book I had been reading was long forgotten, but it was very ballsy of him to turn it off anyway. It was my lamp.

I rolled to my side with a sigh, burrowing my arms underneath my pillow.

"Zelda, you are not going to sleep just yet!" He said, loosing his collar as if he was having trouble breathing. Then he put his hands on his hips and stared defiantly out the window.

I moved my head to glare at him. "I am not?"

"Well, what I mean to say is, I'm not in the bed yet, so..."

"Then hurry up. I'm tired!" I rested my groggy head back down, only half caring about his sudden rudeness.

He began to undress himself where he was standing, throwing each item of clothing on the floor. When he noticed that I had opened my eyes at the commotion, he starting throwing his clothing even more violently, kicking them away, until he stood there, completely nude, his hands on his hips.

I sat up, suddenly remembering the reason for my husband's odd behavior, and the horrible advice Link must have given him. "Are-Are you alright, dear?" I asked anyway, holding a hand up to block my view of his lower half.

"The real question is, why aren't you naked as well!" he ordered.

"_Excuse_ me?"

"I mean," he said, far more nervously. "It's a warmer night, and maybe you would be more comfortable."

"I'm comfortable how I am now."

"Very well," he scooted himself around the foot of the bed before climbing in with me. I didn't roll away from him because I was uncomfortable leaving my backside unprotected. I didn't particularly want to face him either, so I just stayed sitting up, facing straight ahead.

My husband sat on his own space of the bed as well, though he was staring at me. "You know dear, I had a fabulous talk with the Hero today."

Oh, Goddesses. Here we go. I realized I was entirely _not_ drunk enough for this.

"Oh?" I reached under the bed to pour myself a glass. My husband wasn't the least bit surprised to see me hiding the bottle underneath the bed.

"He's quite a fascinating man! He may not talk much, but you get the sense anyway. I mean just look at him, wearing those strange clothes. And looking at his eyes, you feel like he's seen things. Also, appearance aside, have you seen the way he shoots?!"

"Yes," I replied flatly, deciding to take a swig from the actual bottle instead of the glass. My husband didn't pay attention to it. No surprise that he forgot I saw the Hero shoot.

"Oh yes, you were there for that! And how he rides that wild horse of his, and the way he knows how to-"

"Darling," I interrupted, setting the glass and bottle on the bed stand. "Do you ever think that maybe you spend too much time with the Hero?"

"Why, no. I've never thought about it. Is that even a thing, spending too much time with someone?"

"Yes," I answered.

The King thought hard. "No, I don't think there's a problem." I stared harder at him, as if my look would change his mind. Often times it did. "Oh, are you referring to yourself and Lance? Don't worry, we are no where near that stage of bickering yet."

"No, that's not what I meant. I'm saying maybe the Hero's talent is being wasted by playing games all day!"

"Oh..." he said, looking at me knowingly and I hated it. He elbowed my side. "You're jealous."

"_What?_"

"I get the great legendary hero as a bodyguard, and you have Mr. Sarcastic Pants. I bet Lance doesn't play any games with you."

"I don't _want_ to play games!"

"Oh, don't be such a sourpuss!" He gave me a one armed hug. "That's why you're always so unhappy."

I gasped. He had never so bluntly remarked at my behavior in that way, and I felt myself grow suddenly angry, even if it was only teasing. "You know he's only hanging out with you because he feels sorry for you!" I hadn't really meant to say it. It was too mean.

"Well, I'm sure Lance just _adores_ spending time with you! That's why he's always so relieved to see me coming to bed, because he doesn't have to worry about you sending for him _again!_"

"I don't care how Lance feels about me. He is to do his job."

"Is it his job to smuggle wine bottles into the room, because if you ask me, that seems like a waste of his skills."

"_Fine_," I hissed. "Keep your hero!"

"So, you are admitting to your jealously?"

"I am not!"

"Then you just can't stand to see me happy, is that it?"

"Oh _please_, I could care less for your little man crush on the Hero."

"He is rather cute, now isn't he?"

"And what is that suppose to imply?!"

"I'm not implying anything."

"You think he's cute!?"

"I said he was cute, not that I _think_ he's cute!"

"Saying something means you were thinking it!"

"I said it because I _was_ implying that maybe _you_ thought he was cute, but I didn't want to make you go off all crazy like you are now!" He took a breath. "I mean it's all right. I can't see you enjoy staring at Lance all day. I can understand why you're jealous. I get to look at the Hero all the time."

"What do you mean by looking at him?!"

"Oh for goodness sake, I'm not in love with him!"

"Are you sure? The way you talk about him all the time, nonstop! Maybe you should just go to bed with _him!_" I saw the horror cross his face at my accusation. He seemed to have a loss of words for a moment, before he suddenly grabbed my shoulders and forced me to face him.

"Dammit, woman! You are leading me off on the subject, no more! We are going to have intercourse tonight, so are you going to take that silly gown off, or should I?"

I was shocked. I stared at him for a long time as I tried to comprehend if he had really just spoke to me so.

"I'm sorry," he said, back to his nervousness, but I slipped off the night gown anyway. "Well," he started awkwardly, now that I was sitting naked in front of him. "Now that's settled... should I..."

"Yes," I answered him.

Another awkward moment. "Did you want to do it in a different way?"

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know," he admitted.

I sighed. Neither of us were brave enough to make the first move. It really wasn't a surprise that this sort of thing happened so rarely. Actually, it was a surprise that it happened at all.

My gaze wondered around the room, settling on the open doorway of the bathroom. I remembered being with Link in that bathroom. I remembered being with him here on this bed.

I turned back to my husband who was now watching me apprehensively. I couldn't bring myself to kiss him on the mouth. When I thought about it, I don't think I ever had. I studied the man who was not Link. As I leaned in closer to him, he did not smell like trees or river water, but of cologne and soap. I leaned over his shoulder, closed my eyes and laid a gentle kiss on his skin. The shoulder wasn't as muscular or as strong as Link's, but the feeling of skin against my mouth was pretty much the same.

My husband seemed bewildered at my action, becoming still as a statue. His skin pricked with goosebumps as I laid another kiss on his neck. I straightened and caught his amazed brown eyes in mine, before I looked away, laying myself on my back for him. I kept my gaze on the bathroom as he climbed over me.

I could see Link in front of the sink, soaking wet, turning modestly away from me to take off his shirt. I remembered watching the shock of skin slowly reveal its self. I thought of the scars patterning his back, some looking deep into his flesh, the muscles contracting and then straightening as he stood more upright. I could not forget his face when he finally looked at me, realizing that we were alone, the corner of his mouth pulling his lips into an easy grin, the blue of his eyes.

My husband was having a hard time getting inside me and I was annoyed that I had to guide him. It was like he forgot how every time we had to do this again.

Those blue eyes had been locked on mine before _he_ had pushed inside me. They were filled with such devotion, such longing. They were filled with so much love.

_I love you_.

His words, thick and mumbled, had fallen out of his mouth, almost as if by accident. The words had so much weight to them that I thought I could physically feel them drop out of his mouth and hit me in the chest.

_I love you_.

"I love you," I said.

My husband stopped what he was doing for a moment. "I love you, too," but the statement was unsure and I knew he didn't mean it. It was alright. I didn't mean it either.

I tried to ignore the prickling of his mustache against my neck. I wondered to myself if I enjoyed any of this. Did I feel anything? Someone going in and out of me used to disgust me. The noise of it, the sensation, used to make me want to throw up. It was so unsettling to me.

It didn't upset me with Link. I didn't think about that when he did it. All I could feel was pleasure, happiness and his love. But you didn't need to be in love to feel pleasure.

I wrapped my arms around my husband. I needed to have something to hold on to, so my sadness wouldn't sweep me away. I knew my husband thought strange of my behavior, but I needed some sort of comfort. I thought, if I could make him go faster, maybe I could even enjoy it a little. Maybe it could turn into something that wasn't so bad.

I tried to get him to move faster without actually telling him to. I couldn't bring myself to speak at all. Frustrated, I pushed him off of me and rolled over onto him. He was so surprise that he let out a startled shout. I couldn't look at his face, ashamed of the action, so I lightly covered his head with a pillow. I moved so I could feel something. I didn't really know what sort of satisfaction I was looking for, because when I found it, it did not give me the peace I had hopped for.

I collapsed on top of him with a cry, clinging to him. He was warm. I felt him finally move the pillow aside, placing his hands tentatively on my shoulders, but he only let them stay for a moment before he began to gently push me off of him.

"That was different," he murmured very quietly.

"I guess so."

"If you don't mind," the words came out breathless. "I think I would like to take a bath before sleep. Unless of course you would like to go first."

"N-no. Go ahead." I returned to my side of the bed, curling up into a ball as he left. I felt alone as I listened to him run the water. As I clutched my pillow, tears slowly began to fall. I didn't understand why I felt so utterly empty. I was miserable, and I would most likely be miserable for the rest of my life. Miserable until I would be reborn to be miserable again.

I sobbed.

* * *

There was knocking on the door. "Lance..." the hushed voice begged. "Lance, I need you."

"Oh, no! No, no, no! Do you know what time it is? It's one in the morning. Do you know when I get off? One in the morning. Anything you need, you can talk to my replacement. He's coming right over ther-Dammit! Get back here you little fucker!"

"But, Lance I need you. She's crying and I can't make her stop."

"Just say something nice to her!"

"I tried that, and she just brandished her bottle at me!"

I heard a loud sigh. "I should have known that leaving that in there was a bad idea."

"Oh, good," my husband said, as if Lance had already agreed to speak with me. "I'll be in my study if you need me. If I don't answer the door though, I've fallen asleep."

The door closed. All was quiet for a moment, except for my soft sobs, until I heard Lance move across the room to stand over me. "You're alright," he said softly.

The unusual tenderness in his voice just made me sob harder. "How can he love me?!" My voice was muffled in my pillow. "I'm disgusting. I have sex with other men, and he shouldn't just forgive me because it's the right thing to do. If I did the right thing, I would have never let myself be with him in the first place!"

"Where did this other bottle come from?" Lance mused, noticing the extra wine bottle on my bed stand before coming up with the answer himself. "Annabell..."

"It's like I cheated on him!"

"The King?"

"No, Link!"

"Okay, you're not even with Link for starts. You're getting yourself all worked up for nothing."

"Why are you even here?" I sniffed. "It's past one."

"You're right. It is past one. And the longer I stand here watching you cry pitifully into your pillow, the more of my precious time is gone. I get five hours. _Five hours_ to do whatever I please."

I huffed into my pillow. "Like you have anything else to do anyway."

"_I sleep!_ Against all popular belief, I'm actually _not_ immortal and have humanly needs. Sometimes I even go to the bathroom!"

I sobbed. "You're right. Go ahead and leave," and I cried harder.

I felt Lance roll his eyes rather than saw it, and he muttered something to himself as he walked to the foot of my bed. "Okay, put some clothes on and maybe I'll stay a bit longer." He picked up my nightgown with his thumb and forefinger like it was something poisonous and set it down over my back.

I waited for him to turn around before I hastily pulled it over my head. "Okay," I croaked. "I'm decent."

He turned around. "See? You look better already!"

I knew he was lying. My lips were chapped, my face must have still been red and blotchy, and some of my hair was stuck to my cheeks where my tears had dried. I sniffed. "Thank you... What's wrong with me?"

"You want me to go through the whole list?"

I hugged my knees, pressing my face into them. "It's just, he left as soon as it was over. He wouldn't even stay in the bed with me. I guess I can understand why no one likes being around me."

"Link seems to like you enough."

My eyes started to re-water at the mention of his name.

"Dammit..."

"Are you going to leave?"

"You mean, back to my warm, inviting bed?"

I nodded my head.

"No..." he sighed, before falling onto the floor, his back against the bed. "I'll stay until you fall asleep."

"Thank yo-"

"Go to sleep."

I pulled the covers back over me, curling around my pillow and closed my tear strained eyes.

* * *

When I woke up, I wasn't surprise to see my husband not in bed with me, but I was surprise to see a mop of hair resting against the edge of the mattress.

Lance was comatose, an empty bottle that I didn't remember finishing resting against his thigh. "Lance?" I whispered to him, yet he did not stir. I held part of my blanket up to my chest as I bent down closer to him. "_Lance!_" When that didn't seem to work either I took a finger and pushed him in the head. He fell completely over. I had a fleeting thought that he was dead before he rolled to his feet faster than any man so gangly should.

His eyes went around the room quickly for danger before they landed on me. "Oh fuck! Did we have sex?!"

"No, you buffoon!" I said darkly. "You must have fallen asleep in my room."

"Sweet Goddesses," he panted, clutching his chest. "Okay, let me get my heart rate down before I pass out."

I rolled my eyes before falling back down on my bed. My thoughts went to the disaster that was last night. "Lance, come over here."

"Why?" he asked suspiciously.

"Do you still have that little notebook with the calender in it?"

"Why?"

"I want to know if last night was worth it or not!"

He pulled out the little book and I grabbed it, immediately flipping through it.

"Whoa, whoa," he snatched the book away from me. "Let me find it for you first so you don't accidentally read something you shouldn't."

"What else is written in it?"

"Important secret bodyguard stuff," he told me, before finding the current month and handing it to me. He did not lift his fingers from the book though, paranoid that I might change the page.

I brought the notebook closer to my face so I could read it. "Your side notes are not amusing," I said. He grinned and shrugged his shoulders.

"What are you looking at anyway?"

"Shoot!" I let go of the book. I went to feel my forehead, changing my mind, and pressing it with Lance's hand instead. "Does it feel like I'm ovulating?"

Lance ripped his hand away from mine. "Ew! Gross!"

"It's already a day past the middle of the cycle!"

"What does that even mean!?"

"It means I've probably already started ovulating."

"That's a good thing, right?"

"No, it takes a few days for the sperm to reach the egg and by the time it gets there, I'll probably be done ovulating, if I'm not done already, and the egg will be gone."

"I guess you learn something new everyday... Not that I wanted to."

"It would have been better if I had slept with my husband earlier in the week."

"You mean... earlier in the week when you attacked Link in the library?"

My eyes widened and I gasped as my hands flew to my mouth. "Oh, no..." My voice was so quiet from the lack of air, that all of sudden didn't have, and I felt myself grow pale.

"Well he pulled out, didn't he?"

"Like that even matters!" I cried, throwing my arms in the air.

"It doesn't?"

"Oh, you are such a man! Nayru, what am I going to do?!" I covered my face with my hands again.

"Oh well, right?"

I looked up to glare at him. "Oh, well!? Are you smirking!? Do you think this is funny!?

"Well, I wouldn't say _funny_, but-"

"I swear to _hell_, that if you think this is amusing-"

"Okay, Okay. It's not that I think this whole thing is funny. You're probably only going to freak out more, but I'm winning."

"Winning what!?" and my voice was on the verge of screaming.

"The bet."

"What _bet!?_ Who else even knows!?"

"Who do you think?"

I tried to calm myself down. "The maids must know, but they gossip so much, no one would ever take them seriously."

"Right. The maids. Specifically, Annabell, aka: The Wretched Cheating Whore who gave you an extra bottle of wine!" He pointed to the bottle on the floor theatrically. "She thought she had me! Her having the same cycle as yours and knowing more about that ovary crap, she was sure you would conceive the King's baby last night! She was trying to make sure you went through with it by getting you more drunk. But she was apparently wrong. Link is more lucky. I'm gonna win!"

I stared at Lance for what must have been a whole minute. Then I screamed at him. "ANNABELL!?"

"Yes, we should have a talk with her about this."

"YOU TOO!"

"But come on, you expect it from me!" I stomped into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me. "So you're gonna pout, now? You know, the King was right. Not playing any games does make you a sourpuss."

"WHAT?!" I screamed back at him. "You were listening?!"

"I can hear everything that goes on in this room! You know that." I felt suddenly embarrassed. It wasn't something I always kept in mind. He had probably heard Link and I in the library as well. He still hadn't stopped it. All for that stupid bet! "If you're so set against not having Link's kid, then maybe you should plan things out better."

"I did have a plan. To not be alone with him. And then you forced me to be alone with him!"

"Please, you would have done him right in front of me if you had to. You work yourself up so much, going on how you won't give yourself an inch, to the point where you go absolutely crazy and have no control whatsoever and shit happens!"

"So what are you saying?"

"I'm saying maybe you should just let yourself see him." I opened the bathroom door to glare at Lance. "Letting yourself see him every once in a while would let you be a little happy. And if you're not so miserable, you won't jump him every time you do see him."

"You want me to see him, even though the much obvious and safest decision would be to cut off ties from him all together?"

"Yes?"

"You're just saying this so that you can win _your stupid little bet!_"

"No, that's only part of the reason!"

"For the love of-! Call off this bet!"

"Let me think about that... Nope!" He pipped up brightly, hands on his hips and a grin from ear to ear. "This bet was fabricated during the wee hours of my freedom. And those hours are mine. It's part of my personal life. It's off limits to you."

I was so angry that I could feel my face burn all the way to the tips of my ears. "If you won't call off the bet," I said menacingly.

"You'll replace me with Link? We all know that's not gonna happen."

"No. It's six o'clock now," I said checking the clock quickly first. "You're working for me now, and I'm ordering you to do this for me," I presented the bit of tissue paper that was in my hand, the reason why I had gone to the bathroom.

"What is that?"

"This is cervical mucus."

"_What_ mucus?" and it sounded like his voice rose several octaves.

"It's still fresh. I want you to check the consistency of it for me. You stretch it between your forefinger and thumb. If the stream can get to be an inch long before it breaks, you know you'll just about to ovulate."

I think Lance's face actually turned green. "Gah! Are you for real!?"

"Of course I am." I took a step closer to him, effectively blocking him from the door so he couldn't escape, my arm outstretched in his direction.

"Farore, you're crazy! Get away from me!" I backed him up until he dashed right out of the room onto the balcony. "Seriously! Get away from me! I'll jump! I'll kill myself!" He was on the banister, the last and farthest place he could get from me.

"Come on, now. Wouldn't you much rather call off the bet than die?"

"Fine, I call off the bet! Just don't touch me with that stuff!"

I started to cackle.

"What the hell's wrong with you?!"

"I only sneezed in it!" I said in between my laughter.

"Wha?"

"Your face!" I tossed the tissue at him, and he still jumped away from it like it was something terrifying. I could play games too.

"You evil bitch!"

I fell to my knees and laughed for a long time.

* * *

"Don't tell him what it is! Let him figure it out!" Lance pleaded as we watched Link try to decipher my ovulation chart. I rolled my eyes at him. There was no way Link would ever figure out what he was looking at without help. Though I couldn't help, but blush a bit when Link took a look at the chart himself, his eyebrows furrowed together in concentration. I also hadn't been able to make my stomach settle since I first watched him enter the room, slightly nervous with himself like he was in trouble.

He looked up with his confused, yet still handsome face. "I don't know what this means," he admitted.

"Oh, come on! Try harder!" Lance egged him on.

"Ignore him," I said. "Link, we have a problem," I started. He kept his eyes on me, face masked which meant he was worried, but his eyes never left mine. He thought I was going to say something terrible to him, like send him far, far away. Yet his eyes were so trusting, and he was going to accept anything I was going to say to him. "We can't let the incidents we've been having continue. What you're looking at is a chart of my ovulating cycle. It appears, a few days ago, was the optimal time for me to conceive."

Link stared at me for a long time. "Are you pregnant?" he asked very seriously.

"I don't know yet."

"With who's child?" and the question was just slightly too eager.

"I don't know," I repeated, almost annoyed. "Hopefully, not yours. Since I can't trust either of us to be around the other, I'm forbidding us to see each other during any days that I circled on this chart. It's too close to when I'm ovulating."

"But, today is okay, right?" he asked innocently.

"Yes, but that's not any sort of invitations to-"

"I know, I know." He smiled sincerely at me. "Just get to see you." He was so content with something so simple. I felt my heart melt a little.

"Tell him about the vagina mucus!"

"No!" I snapped at Lance.

"No, do it! Tell him!" He turned to Link. "Did you know that she's disgusting? She is the most vile, nastiest being in the entire world!"

"Lance, just forget about it!" I found myself suddenly embarrassed. My mucus, no matter where it had come from, wasn't something I really wanted Link to know about.

"She doesn't have to tell me," Link said quickly. "It's alright." His own face was slightly blushing as well, making him look more like a boy than a man.

"Lance, go wait outside."

"Oh, so now you're gonna-"

"He'll be out in less than a minute! I just want to say _one_ thing to him with out you interrupting me every five seconds!"

We all stood up and I shooed Lance out the door before looking at Link.

Link was starring at me hard, analyzing every inch of my face. "Are you alright? I know last night must have been-"

I was able to nod my head once before I flung my arms around him. I had ment to embrace him for only a moment. Just to make sure I remembered how he felt in my arms. It was meant to be a quick, casual thing, though I was never good at being casual. Link was momentarily surprised at the act, before he wrapped one arm around my waste tightly, the other gently pushing my head into his chest. I had forgotten what it was like to be held. It was wonderful. I held him tightly for another few precious seconds, before I heard the library door start to open.

Pulling away quickly, I said a short goodbye, turning away from him. I stayed facing away until I heard him leave.


	22. Chapter 22

-_Link_

I had known that she was upset. I had felt it, with whatever that magic connection between the two of us was. I had felt it. It preventing me from going to sleep and Mary had grown annoyed with my constant moving around.

She put an arm on me. "What's the matter with you?" she asked groggily. "You're kicking around more than the baby."

"I'm sorry," and I forced myself to stay still. "I'm just restless."

She laced her fingers in mine, pulling my arm closer to her. "Just... rest..."

I wrapped my arm around the tired woman, holding her close. I had wanted to give this comfort to Zelda, but I couldn't. There were too many things that I wanted to give to her and couldn't. Zelda had always made do without all that anyway.

Yet I still found myself uncharacteristically annoyed the day after. Not even the King's joyful chattering made me feel any better. Fortunately, my head nodding wasn't all that difficult to maintain. Especially since I wasn't really listening most of the time anyway.

"I just want to thank you," I heard him say, and I looked up at him. I wasn't really sure how nodding my head was all that great, but people seemed to thank me for stupid things on a regular basis. "The advice you gave worked, just like you said!"

I stared at him uncomprehending for a moment.

"You told me to be defiant, and I was! It worked!"

"It did?" I said before I could stop myself.

"Yep, pulled her gown right off," he said proudly to himself. I don't really know how I felt. Surprised. It was mostly surprised. But being surprised shouldn't have made me feel sick.

Feeling uneasy for the rest of the day was worse than feeling annoyed. When Zelda had called to me that evening, I thought she would be angry with me. It was my fault I had put her through that night. I had told the King to be... to be like that.

But she didn't mention it at all. Actually, I couldn't figure out why she had called me into the library. She talked with unfeeling, like she could be explaining just about anything mundane or normal to someone. Only at the end, with Lance gone, did I have a glimpse of how she was feeling, that one moment that felt way too short, when she put her arms around me.

She was telling me not to see her on the days circled, but for some reason, it felt more like she was telling me to see her now.

So the next evening, I had returned to the library. Lance had given me a grin like he was expecting me, and was unusually cooperative in letting me past him. Though that didn't mean that Zelda was expecting me.

I found her sitting at a table, a large stack of paper beside her as she worked diligently. I stood there until she noticed me, knowing I should have asked Lance to seek her permission first before entering.

When she did look up, she gave a double take. "What are you doing here?" There wasn't any venom in her voice, but her tone was still slightly cold. Zelda's voice usually was, like she just couldn't shake the chilliness out of it.

I shrugged. "I'm here to see you."

"For what purpose?"

"I don't know. Just 'cause?"

She eyed me skeptically. "Shouldn't you be spending your time doing things with purpose behind them?"

"Like what?" I asked scanning over the papers on the table. I was trying to read them upside down, most of them being numbers and I couldn't really decipher anything.

"You could return home and see to your wife," Zelda said, no longer looking at me and returning to her work.

"She doesn't usually get home until later anyway. She sells bracelets and knitted hats in town during the evenings."

Zelda looked up surprised. "She does that on her own while she's pregnant?"

"Well Horus is with her. He's a pretty big man and she's comfortable around him." I laughed to myself. "Sometimes, she eats dinner with him and his friends and forgets about me until she comes home."

"That's horrible."

I hadn't meant it to sound horrible. "Not really. I find something to eat. I know how to feed myself."

"Still," Zelda continued to write, but more annoyed. "Hanging out with other men instead of making dinner. What kind of wife ignores her husband?"

I wasn't going to mention the needs of Zelda's husband that she had been ignoring for so long. "Horus is like a father to her," I said uselessly. There was nothing I could say to have Zelda not hate Mary. "What are you doing?" I asked instead, changing the subject.

"I'm dividing up this years tax money to see if there's enough to expand the town's hospital, and if not, what other uses it could be used for. And of course, because the laziness of people lets mistakes go by in their adding, I have to go over it again any time someone else has a look at it. If they would just _not_ touch anything for five seconds..."

"That's actually... that's actually really great," I said, pulling out a chair to sit across from her.

"Well, I don't know how much of a dire need it is for the hospital to get bigger. We haven't need it all that much considering we've had no wars or epidemics in quite some time, but expanding the nursery might be a good idea. The population has been growing. People been acting like freaking rabbits, if you ask me, but I guess that's progress."

I watched her add and write down numbers. She puckered her bottom lip just slightly when she concentrated, her thin eyebrows drawn together. The whole thing brought a sense of nostalgia over me. How many times had I sat with Zelda as she worked, bored out of my mind and her so carefully concentrating in what she was doing? It was like our childhoods all over again. Again and again.

I fidgeted for a moment in my chair which Zelda patiently ignored. I slowly stretched my legs under the table, until I felt hers neatly tucked under her chair. She lifted an eye at me, but I decided that the bookshelves were more interesting to look at for the moment. I waited for her to continue her work, before I turned my toes in, and pulled her legs out with my feet.

She lifted her feet, and made to puncture my toe with the sharp ends of her heels, but being stepped on by too many large animals in the past, I had taken up the habit of wearing steal toed shoes, and her assault was unsuccessful. I expected her to be angry at my lack of pain, but instead she continued on like none of that had happened, leaving her feet on top of mine.

I slid my feet around for a while, having Zelda's ride on them like some sort of mini carnival until eventually Zelda spoke. "Tell me, Link. Exactly how old are you?"

"I don't know," I admitted. Do you count all the years that had past since I was first born in my first life, or just the years that I have been alive? Did any of it really count?

"Well whatever it is, it's too old for playing games like this!" She removed her feet from mine. "If you're going to continue to distract me, I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

"When are you free?"

"What do you mean?"

"When do you have free time? I can come back then to distract you when you're doing something not so important." I grinned at her.

"I _never_ have free time!"

"How do you take breaks then? You can't be working every second of your life."

"When I need to take a break, I take a break, but it comes with a price. Work gets backed up even further behind every time I do."

"Take a break now."

"I don't see any reason to take a break now."

"The reason is, I'm here, and I'm telling you to."

Zelda stared at me unimpressed and I had a hard time keeping my face straight. "And what sort of status do you have that has the right to tell the Queen what to do?"

"I'm the Hero... of Everything. So for your own well being, the Hero is advising you to take a break."

"Or, you're just trying to relieve your own boredom by pestering me."

"Go on a walk with me."

"I think that would be inappropriate."

"You're letting me sit with you."

"You're doing nothing wrong. Well, besides being bothersome."

I grinned. "Then I'll stay here."

"Stay if you like."

"Want to read a book together?"

"You can read a book. I'm doing work."

I got up from my chair and walked behind her so I could go into the bookshelves. "You're taking a break, because I've deemed it so." She pushed her chair around to glare at me. "We can read one of those dumb history books that most likely have us in it."

"Dumb? Do you realize how painstakingly detailed those books are, and the time that went into each and every one of them?"

"Do you realize they're all wrong?"

"What!?" She almost exploded from her chair, but somehow remained seated.

"Well like, Rusl didn't breed Ordon Goats for meat and wool. He did it for milk and cheese. Navi didn't have two wings. She had four and Batreaux didn't eat children! He was actually a great guy."

"Who the hell is Batrea-Well fine!" She got up and started taking the huge heavy books out of the bookshelves. "They'll just _all_ have to be rewritten!" She plopped them on the table, and the crash made it sound like the table would break.

"You.. don't have to do that. I'm sure Batreaux would have forgiven you. And it doesn't really matter what Rusl did with his goats or... how many wings Navi had." I suddenly didn't want to read any of those books. I thought maybe the memories would make me happy, but now I felt empty.

"Maybe you should write them, since _I_ obviously didn't know what was going on."

"I don't know. I've never been really good at writing."

"I will have what you told me fixed," Zelda said, going back to work. "And I'll have an apology to Batreaux somewhere in the text."

I sat back down, but in the chair next to her rather than the chair across from her. "Thanks. So I guess that's going to add onto your list of things to do, isn't it?"

"You could be doing something useful."

I didn't answer her, eyes wandering around the room, bored again. I started tapping my fingers against the table. Zelda let is slide for a few moments before she couldn't take it anymore.

"What is it that you do with your time!?"

"Kill things?"

"And when you have nothing to kill you just do nothing?"

I shrugged my shoulders, deciding not to answer that.

"You probably just sleep all the time. That's what you always did whenever we had lessons together."

I gave a short laugh. "I did sleep a lot then."

She mumbled to herself. "I can't believe... I don't understand why you wouldn't pay a little attention! I don't see how someone that lazy could pass those classes."

"I wasn't lazy. I was disinterested," I said trying to defend myself. "Who cares how much exercise the loftwings needed. If they wanted to fly, they'd just get up and fly. And everyone always did the _same_ project-"

"At least they did the project. How would you have known if you were sleeping?"

"I stayed awake for yours."

She wouldn't look at me, eyes still on her paper though she hadn't written anything down for a while now. "Well, that's because I threatened to quiz you after."

"The teacher quizzed me and I didn't stay awake for him, but whenever you read something, even if it was as boring as shit, it always sounded like you were reciting something sacred."

She glared at me. "What was my project about, then?"

"I don't know," I admitted. "I said I just didn't fall asleep. I didn't say I was paying attention." She kicked me. "Even if I was, I wouldn't be able to remember now!"

"Are you going to let me get back to work?"

"Honestly?"

She pushed aside her papers in a huff. "Fine, I'll read you a stupid story!" She pulled over one of the large history books.

"Does it have to be that one?" I asked.

"It shouldn't matter what I read because everything I say just sounds so sacred to you!"

She saw the grin on my face before tearing her gaze away, and started to read. "Before time began, before spirits and life existed..."

"Three golden goddesses descended upon the chaos that was Hyrule. Do you know just how many times I've heard this?"

"Yes!" she said, bring her face close to mine so she could stare down at me. "And you're going to hear it again, and again, forever!"

Her mouth was so close to mine. It would have been so easy just to lean forward and kiss it. She pulled away when she realized I had been staring at her lips and continued reading.

I scooted my chair closer to hers, and hooked my foot around her ankle again. She ignored me, letting me press my leg against hers. I rested my head on my arm against the table. I never felt like I ever slept enough anymore. I was constantly tired these days, but still never could get to sleep for very long. Now, I realized I was entirely too comfortable with Zelda's soft dress pressed against my leg and the pleasant droning of her voice. I didn't plan on actually sleeping. I was just going to close my eyes.

_"You... do know what happens at the end, right?"_

_"Sort of," I lied._

_She laughed. "I'm glad you're so well informed on the subject," she said, knowing that I was lying._

_She took a step toward me and I started to put it together. She was going to kiss me. It made sense to me. The Goddess would kiss her Hero. It had made sense._

_I didn't back up from her. I was going to take it like a man. I closed my eyes._

SLAM!

I let out a shout and realized I was falling backwards. In a vain attempt to try to flip around, I flared my limbs, but the fall was far less than I expected. I looked up to see Zelda glowering down on me.

"You fell asleep!" I realized she must have hit me with that 100 pound history book.

"No I didn't."

"I saw you. I watched you sleep for 20 minutes before I decided to wake you up."

"I think you killed me. Am I bleeding?"

"No, you are perfectly fine. Now get up." She offered me her hand, and helped me detangle my legs from the fallen chair. "It's late. You should go home."

I looked out the window and saw that sky was already a dark blue. "I should..."

"Thank you," Zelda said suddenly. "For...seeing me. Even though you were annoying."

"Of course. I'll see you tomorrow too."

"Let's not make this an everyday occurrence."

* * *

We did anyway. Each evening I visited her in the library, acting way too childish to be proud of. It was the way that it used to be. We had been best friends. I didn't understand why we couldn't be friends just because we were older, not that I was really acting my age. I wasn't miserable for once, and I don't think Zelda was either, though she liked to pretend she was. She ignored me whenever I touched her too casually, letting it slide like it never happened. But I was able to get her to start laughing at me again, which sounded like bells in the quiet library.

She somehow weaseled me into helping her correct any wrong information that was in her books. The text had more about our adventures than I had originally thought, for Zelda had been filling out the details more and more through out her lives. She was so afraid that she would start forgetting things. I never had a fear like that before. It didn't even occur to me that it could actually happen. I wished more that I could forget things.

"So, Mila didn't become rich after selling that skull necklace?"

"No, you're thinking of Maggie. Mila was the bitchy one that lost her fortune in order to pay you back after rescuing her."

"Oh, that's right. She was a bitch," she laughed. "I did that on purpose." I watched her scribble down the note with an evil glint in her eyes.

"Zelda, can I ask you a question?"

"Hmm?"

"How come it's different now?"

She looked up from her paper.

"I'm not saying it's bad. I'm actually more happy than I can remember for a long time. I just don't know why you're letting me stay around."

"You're helping me revise the history books," she said.

"No, not that. I'm still in Hyrule. I'm 28 and I'm still in the castle."

She suddenly got very uncomfortable. "There is nothing keeping you from leaving," she said, her eyes emotionless, like precious stones.

"There's no one telling me to leave. You're not going to tell me that our friendship is inappropriate at the age we're at, or some other bull shit that you can think of?"

She got up. "Is that what you want me to do?"

"N-no. I just didn't understand why you haven't. Zelda... You've let me..." I had trouble finishing the sentence. "You let us be together, and things have happened that you've been trying to avoid. I was just wandering why now, it was okay."

"It's not okay now," she said coldly, sitting back down. "But If you haven't noticed Link, that in this particular lifetime, we have not actually yet faced a great evil. Our jobs in this life may not be over, and I wanted to keep some sort of connection with you in case the need of you does arise."

I hadn't really thought of that. I had just thought we had been lucky so far. "But why would the Goddesses have us return so early? Why hasn't anything happened yet?"

"I don't know. Maybe nothing will happen. Maybe the magic that allows us to be reborn is still working even after we are no longer needed."

"Oh..." I had hopped that if I was no longer needed, it would just be over. I had always thought there would be some sort of end. Eventually.

"Link." Zelda broke me out of what I was thinking, studying my face carefully. "Don't worry about it. Let me worry."

"I'm always here, if you need me."

"I know."

"Zelda?"

She frowned. "What?"

"What about... Why did you let, the other things happen? If it's not okay..." I don't really know what answer I was looking for. Did I want to hear her say that she had wanted me? That she loved me? I almost asked if she did, but stopped myself. I had no right to ask those things.

"Moments of weakness," she answered briskly. "It's not as easy for me to get laid as it is you. I guess because of that, it's been hard for me to think rationally. That's why I'm not allowed to see you on the days that I'm about to ovulate. I probably shouldn't see anyone that's remotely attractive on those days. Unless it's my husband, of course."

I watched her for a long time as she pretended to read the large book. "I'm sorry," I said. "I'm sorry that I took advantage of that."

She looked at me once before returning her eyes back on the page. "Well it wasn't like I didn't enjoy it. It's just not safe."

"Have we ever been safe about anything?"

She didn't answer me. "It's getting late." She got up and I followed her. "I will not see you tomorrow. I'm going to start ovulating again. I would also like to inform you that I haven't missed this month's period, so it seems unlikely that I'm pregnant."

"I guess that's a good thing."

"Yes. Now I just have to concentrate on conceiving with my husband." I didn't like thinking about her being with her husband.

I looked at the door once, then back at her. "Can I kiss you?" It was the same thing I had said the first time I had ever kissed her, but I didn't stumble over the words. I asked the question so naturally that Zelda didn't even seem to be surprised by the request.

She held up her hand. "Well I guess it wouldn't do any harm to kiss me on the-" but I didn't let her finish. I took her outstretched arm and pulled her to me, kissing her opened surprised mouth. Maybe I was a little angry, but I kissed her hard. My hand on her face to keep her to me, and I poured my heart into her. She clutched at my tunic as I bent her backwards, trying not to fall. She didn't pull away, but it might have been just because she couldn't. I held on tightly as I savagely kissed her. Not until I felt her start to slip from her knees buckling that I gave her some space to stand. I left a hand on her arm though.

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I-" she had to stop so she could catch her breath. "Why did you have to do it like that?!"

I held her close to me, and she didn't struggle, but clung to me. "Does your husband kiss you like that?" I asked quietly.

"Of course not. No one kisses me like that. That was like being kissed by a raving mad crazy person!"

I laughed a little, wrapping my arm around her tighter. "You know, whenever I had to go after you, fight for you or find you, I always told myself, as soon as I saw you, I was going to kiss you like that. But something always came up, or I lost my nerve."

"Link..." I felt her try to push me away.

"I need to ask you one more thing." She stopped moving. "You're my best friend Zelda. You're always going to be my best friend, and sometimes I need you to be around, even if you're just gonna yell at me. Even if you don't think I need to see you or if I'm not needed at the castle anymore. I need you to be around so I don't go absolutely crazy."

"Okay, Link." But Zelda didn't always keep her promises. To tell the the truth, neither did I.

* * *

I didn't see Zelda for a while after, not until Felix handed me a letter saying that she wished to continue our meetings in the library. I was anxious to see her again, and hurried to the library as soon as I could.

Zelda was very quiet when I arrived. She didn't speak for a while. I eventually ended up just sitting, staring off into space with her.

"Does Mary know you spend so much time with me?" she suddenly asked.

"She knows I spend time with you," I said. "I've told her that you're my friend."

Zelda pursed her lips together. "And she's never felt suspicious or jealous in anyway?"

"No."

"Odd."

"Zelda..." If I could only get her to not hate Mary, I think I would be twice as happy as I had been. Her dislike for Mary was like having a dislike to a part of me. "I don't know if you really care or not, but Mary and me... she's not actually _in_ love with me..."

Zelda turned her head to me. "What do you mean? She married you didn't she?"

"Well, it was more for practical reasons. It made more sense for us to live together than for us to live apart. And besides... I think she's in love with somebody else."

"Why is she with you then?"

"I don't know. I didn't think it was right to ask."

"Of course it is. It's your life too. She could just be using you!"

"Am I not just using her?"

Zelda went back to glaring at nothing again. "I thought that maybe... the two of you might have feelings for each other."

I said nothing, stared at her and waited patiently.

"I'm sorry, if you have been lonely, Link." For some reason, as I watched her, my loneliness was forgotten. All I could think about was Zelda's loneliness. "I was... wondering... if maybe..." and she was quiet for a long while. "I want to keep spending time with you." My heart was thumping against my chest loudly, and I wasn't entirely sure why. "I would let you kiss me every once in awhile. And if it's alright with Mary, maybe our relationship could be more than friends."

Our relationship had always been more than friends, from the beginning, but getting Zelda to admit that had seemed so impossible. I wasn't sure if I was actually awake.

"But, we _must_ be careful. I can not have your child. We can't let that happen. And I would feel more comfortable if your wife didn't object to our relationship. If it was okay with her, I really don't see all that harm if we are careful."

"Will you ask the King for permission?"

She looked at me sharply. "I can't tell him! What we'd be doing would be practically illegal. We must tell as few people as possible."

It didn't seem right. Going behind the King's back would have been wrong. But if Zelda said it was alright, it must be okay, right? The table in between us was suddenly making me frustrated. It was preventing me from being closer to her. I wanted to throw it out of the way. Instead I just stood up, hoping it would calm me down. "Why?"

"W-why?"

"Why are you doing this?"

I could see the hurt in her eyes, her cheeks blushing to a slight pink. "Do-do you not want this?"

"Of course I do, but why? Why is it now?"

She blinked a few times. "Well.. I didn't realize... you've been lonely... and you've done so much for me, that I was sorry..."

I bent over the table and flicked her in the head.

"Ow! Did you just flick me!?" The anger in her eyes was so much better than the nervous pity and sadness that had been there earlier. I stared back at her, almost innocently. "Why did you flick me?!"

I rounded the annoying table. I braced one hand on it while the other hand pushed the back of her chair, turning it so she faced me. "Never," I said darkly, "feel sorry for me."

She looked up at me startled, and I felt a growing desire to just jump her and tear off her clothes.

She shook her head. "Forgive me. I didn't mean it the way it sounded."

"What's the real reason why you're saying this then?"

She was silent for a moment, her head turned away slightly to avoid looking at me. "I want you." It was all I could do to keep myself from attacking her.

She leaned slightly away from me, then turned around all together. "But like I said before, if it is okay with your wife, then... then we can do this. Otherwise you should stop seeing me so often."

I took a step away from her. "Right. I will talk to her about it then."

* * *

Mary had told me she wasn't in love with me. She was affectionate to everyone she knew, and had even kissed other men in front of me before. It wasn't like flat out making out, but she'd always give a peck on the cheek to anyone that might have helped her out in someway. She was also a hugger. She'd hug anyone, it didn't matter who or even what sometimes.

I never really cared when she came home late. Sure I'd be worried if she was alright, but once she was home and I knew she was safe, I didn't care who she was with or where she was. Just as long as she was okay.

At first, I thought, if I had just explain to Marry, that I had a chance to be with the one I loved, she would be okay with it. If she ever told me she wanted to see Eric again, I would have gladly let her. It seemed like the idea would be fine to her. We were partners that just happened to be sleeping with each other. We wouldn't care if we had to share each other.

But when she came home that night, it started to occur to me that asking something like that was wrong. I was going to be a father soon. I was going to have a family.

"I'm home!" she sang, tossing her money sack onto the table, where of course several green and blue rupees fell out. "There's a few red one's in there too. Can you believe it? I get more customers _because_ I'm pregnant." She was showing now. "I think they feel sorry for me. They're always like, 'Oh! Where is your husband? You poor Miss, working all by yourself. He should be doing it for you!'" She giggled before giving me a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Horus was with you, right?"

"Yea but he just sits on his ass. I already ate. Did you?"

"Yea."

"Man, I'm so tired." She leaned against me. "Carry me to my bed..."

I looked down at her. "You know the bed is only eight feet away."

"Oh, eight feet! You can take it. _I'm_ pregnant!" I laughed quietly and lifted her up, carrying her the short distance to our room before setting her gently on the bed. "Thank you, sir," she said, beaming up at me and taking my hand. "I love you."

And I felt my blood freeze. A moment past before I was able to make myself say "You, too," quickly.

I turned to go, but she pulled on my arm. "Sleep with me." I crawled into the bed and she wrapped her arms around me. "Your heart is beating fast," she said.

And like how I fixed all my problems with Mary, I kissed her until she forgot all about my heart and everything else.

* * *

The next day, I impatiently went through the hours. I was going to tell Zelda that I couldn't do it. I couldn't keep this from Mary any longer, not now while I knew she had grown feelings for me. She was my wife. She was supposed to come first.

But as soon as I saw Zelda, all morality was gone. She was standing, expecting me. She opened her mouth, most likely to ask for my answer, but instead I just kissed her. She kissed me back, wrapping her arms around my neck. I picked her up, and spun her around once, just because I wanted to. Then I sat us both down on a chair, and just held her for a long time. Neither of us spoke a word during the whole evening I was there. I just held her, occasionally kissing wherever I could. She clung to me, needing me.

Even if Mary did love me, or thought she loved me, she at least could take care of herself. She didn't need me smothering her, but Zelda clung to me like a hopeless child, and I held her as long as she needed me. I'd always be there as long as she needed me.


	23. Chapter 23

_-Zelda_

I hummed to myself as I delicately plucked at the stings of the large harp. The thing had been sitting in my room since my marriage. I hadn't touched the wedding present once, but now I suddenly had an urge to play again. After tuning it for a while, I was surprised to find the strings still good. I had taken care of it, even if I didn't feel like playing it. I always had a fondness for harps. The lullaby came to me without thinking, and I could remember all the times he had played the song for me.

Lance had dozed off in the corner of the room, and I didn't even care. Annabell was making the bed. She had become even more quite and timid ever since I told her I knew about the bet. I can not say that I kept my voice down during the entire conversation.  
"I should probably do something more productive soon..." I sighed, scanning the room. I realized Lance wasn't listening. "Annabell?" She squeaked before spinning around to face me. "It seems as if Lance has fallen asleep. Please wake him."

The maid sighed before grabbing the little bell whose purposes had become just that. I could have done it myself, but that would have involved me getting near him, and I, still being partially angry at Annabell, had her do it.

She marched up to the sleeping man and hastily rung the bell in his face. She did it quick, now knowing she had to jump away from him or risk getting smacked.

"What?!" He growled at me.

"I said, I should probably do something more productive soon."

"You woke me up to tell me that you should be doing something else?"

"Yes. Tell me I should be doing something important."

"You should be doing something important?"

I laughed. "I should be," and I continued to play on the harp, but a much more upbeat tune. The fact that I wasn't doing something important, and was sitting here on my ass was somehow thrilling to me. I would regret it later. Later, when I had all that paper work piled up.

Annabell turned to glare at Lance. "It's your fault she's this way!"

"My fault? Isn't this better than her being angry with everyone? Oh, that's right. You're still in trouble, so she'll be angry with you no matter what."  
"Let's go for a walk!" I announced.

"Is it that time already?" Lance asked.

"I don't know. I'm being spontaneous."

"Sure you are." I ignored Lance, and he followed me throughout the castle, and eventually into the garden. I knew just where I was going, but I wandered about for a while before reaching my destination. Part of it was to disprove Lance, even though we both knew where I was going to end up.

One of the garden's walls was close to my husband's mews and both structures sat by a small field that eventually disappeared into woods. I sat on a bench for a moment, peeking every so often over the stone wall of the garden.

Sure enough, horses emerged from the trees, and I found Link riding besides my husband, along with the rest of the King's company. Link saw me, but I quickly turned my head. "Quick, don't let my husband see us." I pulled Lance deeper into the garden, hiding behind a flower bush.

"Why don't you go greet them?"

I looked at him in horror. "Because _that_ would be inappropriate!"

"You see, I feel like stalking him would be inappropriate."

"I'm not stalking him!" I gave a startled shout as something quite large landed on the garden wall. My scream even effected Lance who already had a knife in his hand before he laid eyes on the bird.

"Stupid..."

The hawk belonged to my husband and cocked its head at me before taking to the air again. It had left a flower where it had perched, and the red and yellow petals were not from my garden.

I left the sanctuary of the bush to watch the bird fly to Link, who gave it a quick kiss on the head as it landed on his arms. It flapped its wings at the gesture and Link made a smile in my direction.

"How did he get that thing to fly a flower over here?" Lance asked, watching the bird suspiciously.

"Link's always been good with animals," I answered him. "But this," I picked up the flower. "_This_ is inappropriate! You see what he does? That's why I can't go over there. Because he does things like this!" I held the delicate blossom in my hand. It smelled vaguely of the ocean and I wondered how far they had gone.

"So, you're _not_ going to keep it, because that would just encourage such behavior?"

"I'm going to keep it." I went back into the castle to find a cup of water for it.

* * *

Occasionally I would see Link in the library, but recently I had been asking him to come to the bed chambers. It just felt slightly more private there then it did in the library, even though people rarely came into the library. My husband spent most of his free time, or rather his time without Link, in his study, and didn't come to bed until much later.

Often I would read to Link, and have him fall asleep on me until I needed to wake him up. He told me he always slept easier when I was around. I teased him for it, remembering a time when he didn't think he could sleep at all with my body pressed to his.

If we ever ran out of things to read or talk about, we gladly entertained ourselves with each other. Link's hands were hesitant, testing how far I'd let him go, sometimes even impatiently tugging on my clothes, but he always seemed content enough to rest his head on my lap.

I heard a knock on my door, and I told him to come in. Whenever Link first entered the room, he always seemed surprised to see me, like he thought maybe I wouldn't be behind that door. "Your Majesty," he said bowing slightly.

"Hero," I greeted.

He spotted the flower in the water cup next to my bed. "That's a nice hibiscus."

"Thank you. A hawk gave it to me."

"That hawk must have liked you very much."

"Yes. How on earth did you find a hibiscus?" I asked, breaking out of the game. "Where did you go?"

"I don't know. You're going to have to ask the hawk." I sighed in annoyance. There he was again, keeping things from me.

I stepped towards him, before kissing him very softly on the corner of his lips. He stood there, eyes closed, letting a breath out slowly, as if I had just given him the best kiss of his life.

He rested his head against mine before opening his eyes again. "Hey."

"Hey." I undid the buckle of his scabbard, wrapping my arms around him and pushing my chest against his as I removed it from his back. "Stay awhile." I stepped back to rest his sword against the wall.

He walked more into the room, but he refused to sit down or make himself comfortable before I did. I walked back over to him, leaning on my bed as I gave him a look over.

"What did you want to do today?" he asked.

I lifted my hand to trace his belt buckle with a finger. Link watched it very carefully. He must have forgotten I didn't answer his question, for he didn't ask it again. I slowly undid the belt.

"What are you doing?" he asked, as he watched me tug it off.

"You should be shirtless."

He laughed and met my eyes. "Why?"

"Because." I turned from him, hopping onto my bed. I made myself comfortable before finding the book that I was in the middle of reading to Link, though he had slept through most of it. "Shall we continue Book of Mudora?"

"Wait. Back up. Why should I be shirtless?"

"I think you should be," I said opening up the book. "But the choice is yours really." I hadn't even finished the sentence before he starting ripping his tunic off.

He climbed on the bed and settled across from me, crossing his legs. I tried not to take my eyes off the page, but I couldn't resist a quick look. He had put his hat back on after it had fallen off from removing his shirt. I never really understood his need to wear that hat all the time. He was grinning at me. "Your turn."

"My turn for what?" I asked, not looking at him.

"I don't think it's fair if I'm the only one shirtless."

I laughed at him. "No. I should remained clothed."

He frowned at me, realizing that he had been tricked. "Why am I half naked, again?"

I looked at him, smiling slightly. "Because I like looking at you." I picked myself up and settled on his lap. I admired his chest, letting my finger trace around each muscle and scar, making my way down lower in his abs. He rested his head on my shoulder letting out a heavy sigh.

"What are you doing now?"

I hushed him. "How did you get these scars?"

He laughed. "You probably shouldn't know that."

"Why not?"

He lifted his head. "It's not important. I'll tell you another time." He was lying. He'd never tell me. Just like how he would never tell me how he obtained the exotic flower.

"What if we play a game," I said.

"But you hate games."

I pushed myself a little out of his lap. "Fine, then we won't play."

"I want to play."

I grinned slyly at him. "Alright then. I ask a question, and every answer you give me, I'll take off an article of clothing."

"I like this game."

I lifted his hand and pointed at a tiny scar between his thumb and forefinger. I would begin off small, so not to turn him off from the idea at the start. "How did you get this scar?"

"Fish hook."

"Well, that was rather dumb of you."

He shrugged. "I was a kid. That's an old one. I answered your question."

"Right." I took off my earrings and set them on the bed stand next to the flower.

Link heaved a sigh and shook his head, though his smile was still plastered onto his face. "I don't think earrings count as clothing."

"This is my game. I make the rules. Besides, I could have taken them off one at a time, make you answer two questions. Here," I poked at a few scars that looked like puncture wounds at his stomach, and he flinched. Maybe my fingers were cold, but I didn't think so.

He gave a short laugh. "Yea, that's a stupid one. I walked right into a a blade trap. I should have known better. Knocked me right off my feet. But fortunately it was a pretty clean cut."

"It was deep," I commented, feeling the toughened flesh. The blades on those traps could sometimes be six inches long.

Link was staring at me expectantly before I rolled my eyes. I crouched on the balls of my feet, reaching under my skirt and wiggled out of my stockings. I tossed them to where his tunic lay on the floor, the whole time Link watching me. "This one," I said, pressing my finger at his heart, which was only the middle of the very large scar across his chest.

He took his time in answering. "Darknut," he said very quietly.

I looked at him in alarm, imagining the very large double-edge sword slicing his chest open. I shook him. "Where in the world did you find a darknut!?"

"I came across him by accident. He wasn't guarding anything. He seemed kind of lost actually. I thought maybe he was just residue of some fading dark magic."

"It could have killed you!" I hissed, staring at the scar. If his heart had been sliced open...

"But it didn't." He glared at me. "This is why I don't tell you things, you know. You're suppose to be undressing yourself."

"Fine," I pulled the zipper behind my back down, almost violently, and tugged the garment over my head, now only in my underdress. I fixed my hair a bit before I turned my attention back to Link.

"I think you wear too much."

"You wear an undershirt, and sometime even more layers under your tunic."

"But I take it off all at once so it's easier."

I ignored him. "How did you meet Mary."

"I'm pretty sure that question's been answered already."

"Mary was the one to answer it. I want you to answer it."

"You don't believe her?"

"Of course not."

"It was just like she said. I met her in town. I was trying to find horse feed."

I started at him skeptically. Mary wasn't as humble as she tried to make me believe. She talked too easily to my husband, not the least bit nervous once she got going. She probably talked easily to all sorts of men. She was a whore, I knew it.

"That's an answer. Take it off. In fact, take two things off for being ridiculous."

"One article of clothing per answer," I said and pulled the underdress off. "Why did you ask Mary to be your wife?"

Link pressed his mouth together. "Why the hell do you want to know that? You know I had to marry someone!"

"Why her?"

It didn't look like he was going to answer me. I touched the ribbons to the back of my corset, lifting an eyebrow in whether I should continue or not.

"Zelda, you're killing me," he groaned, kissing my shoulder. He wrapped his arms around me, his hands on mine. I briefly wondered if he was going to cheat and just unlace the corset himself. "Mary... people were telling her she would never be married. I felt bad. I told her she could marry me. That's it. It wasn't even romantic."

I decided I was satisfied with that answer, and pulled on the lace. Link helped me, kissing my shoulder all the way up my ear. When the corset was off, he rested his head against mine, eyes half lidded and cheeks lightly pinked with lust. I felt myself slip under his spell as he gazed at me.

He laid a kiss on my lips, then on my throat. He lifted me slightly so he cloud kiss my chest easier. "Do you have anymore questions for me?" he asked breathlessly, tracing his fingers over the edge of my panties.

"No, I don't think so. I can't think of anymore," I teased.

"What about where I found the hibiscus?"

"I think I like to keep that a mystery. It makes the flower even more attractive."

Link made a noise that could have been a laugh before he crashed his lips against mine, trying to get me to yield to him with his tongue. His finger stroked me outside of my underwear and it made me shiver. I felt him grin. He thought he was winning. He probably was.

I felt myself fall backwards. Squirming under his hands. I twisted like a playful cat, Link moving with me without trouble. I looked up at him in a bed of my own hair. "I do have a question," I said smiling up at him.

"Hmm?"

"Why do you always wear that stupid hat?"

His smiled fell into a playful frown. "You don't like it?"

"Actually," I grabbed the end of it and pulled it off his head. "I've grown to love it," I said, holding it up against my face. It smelled like his hair. "Even if it's stupid looking."

The expression on Link's face went very serious. Though I had only confessed my feelings of his hat, I think he took them to apply to him. It was just as well. I was in love with him, no matter how stupid he could be. I couldn't believe he came across a darknut and didn't tell me!

He crossed his arms tighter behind my back, lifting me slightly up, my head still rested on the mattress. He placed a kiss in the middle of my chest, and I could feel my heart beat against his lips.

"I wear it because," he said into my skin. "it reminds me of when I used to be a hero. That I used to be your hero."

"You still are my hero," I told him softly.

He kissed me passionately, the underwear soon gone. He straightened my body out beneath him. Feeling him against me made me want him, but I couldn't have him, not today.

His hands were so gentle yet forceful in all the right places. He knew just where to touch, exactly where his mouth needed to be, like he was made for me. He would always please me first before allowing me to touch him. But it was his aroused expressions that turned me on the most, the way every muscle in his body would strain underneath my hands. By the time I was finished with him I needed him to touch me again.

This was how our visits always ended, and often they started this way too. I just couldn't stop touching him. It was so strange, exhilarating, yet strange. It was so strange for me to be happy. I was so carefree when he was around. Not once did I think of any of my duties, only him.  
I still wouldn't let myself see him on certain days. Even with our new self control, I still didn't trust us. There were still days when we weren't careful. The days right after we were apart was harder for the both of us, and when I was very stressed out and wanted him, it was easy to convince him that it was okay. I was sure I wouldn't get pregnant. I was finished ovulating. It was still a risk, but my brain was filled too much with wanting him, that I didn't care to be safe.

He always kissed me like he'd never be able to do it again. He made love to me like it would be the last.

I loved him.

I'd be in such a frenzy some days that I'd attack him before he was even completely in the room.

Sometimes we did nothing. We didn't even talk. Link would hold me against him for long periods of time, in various stages of dress, or not at all. If I asked him what he was thinking of, he'd make something up, so I gave up asking. Not that I really minded. There was something very calming about sitting with Link in such quietness. Sitting naked in his arms felt safe, the only sound being our soft breathing. Sometimes he would stare hard into my eyes for what seemed like forever. Other times, he tucked my head into the crook of his neck, letting his thoughts slip away into the deep depths of his mind.

"Do you ever wish something bad would happen?" he asked once during these long silences, and I was surprised that he had spoken before me.

I blinked. "What do you mean by bad?"

He laughed. "Never mind."

I pinched him. Not very well, for he only gave a soft grunt, as if it didn't really hurt.

"I guess I'm just not used to the country being at peace for so long. It's somewhat unsettling. It's weird."

"No, it is unsettling. I thought I told you not to worry about that."

He tightened his arms around me. "You think Demise's curse is over?"

"I don't know," I answered.

"If it was... we could be together."

I didn't answer him. We couldn't be together now. Not in the way he wanted to. We were both already married to other people. In the next life, it would most likely be complicated as well. If I continued to be born in a royal blood line, Link would continue to be born in the lower class.

I sighed, and Link realized he had made me unhappy. He kissed my neck, then my cheek, waiting for me to turn to him so he could have my lips. Yet I couldn't get the uneasy feeling to settle. The guilt of never being able to make Link truly happy, actively haunted me. Sure, I could make him feel good now. Make him forget his sorrow and pain for a moment. But I always had to send him home after. I only had a few hours with him at a time.

After Link had finished kissing me we went back to our silence. Then he dressed and left.


	24. Chapter 24

An: This is the last chapter before I go back to school. It is on the longer side. I SHOULDN'T be working on this until sometime in March when I have a break and am stuck alone in my bf's apartment. But that doesn't mean, somehow, instead of doing work, I'm working on this, which is bad.

And my mom's internet connection is gone... If this doesn't post I'll be very upset. POST

-_Link_

I was on ecstasy. I found myself staring up at the sky, wondering if the Goddesses would have something randomly fall and crush me to death. I was too happy. I wasn't supposed to be this happy.

My heart would beat so fast whenever I approached her door, that I thought it would kill me. She would kill me. But I didn't care. I didn't care if I died, which just seemed to make it more dangerous. There was no way that any of this could be real anyway.

There was no way that the Queen of Hyrule would call me into her bedroom, kiss me hard as soon as she saw me, rip my clothes off like she had done it a hundred times. No way.

Zelda had never been all that shy, but what she knew in the concept of love making was limited. Her ability to hide her embarrassment masked her inexperience, and she learned fast. Almost too fast. Her mouth traveling down my chest, was almost more than I could take. I wasn't ready when it went further down to places I had never even dreamed she would go.

She'd knock me around, me gripping the bedpost as she slowly drove me insane. I was her experiment, her toy. She would take complete control of the situation, and try to own me, like she had always done.

There was a part of me that wouldn't let her. I wanted to dominate her, have the tables turned in the relationship we had. I would fight back, and she was thrilled by it. She was aroused with my disobedience, holding her down and teasing her, driving _her_ crazy. I was bigger than her, but she was cleverer. She knew how to take me off my guard.

Telling me to relax, she would give me a massage, only her hands ended up somewhere they shouldn't have been and I wasn't at all relaxed. Another time we were too busy with each other that the both of us fell off the bed. I had stopped, concerned if she was alright, but she continued on as if it didn't happen, finishing me on the floor.

I was set on fire. I had never felt this way with another woman, not Mary, not anyone. I needed to impress Zelda. I needed to show her I was worthy of her. I needed her attention, to show her this was what she had been missing all these years. This was me.

I loved it when she made fun of me, laughing at my frowning face, sometime cackling almost evilly when I fell for her tricks. Sometimes she tried to run from me, like I wouldn't be able to easily catch her. I loved the fit of giggles she'd fall into, making her absolutely adorable and I just wanted to hug her forever. I thought she had lost all of her playfulness a long time ago. I was so relieved to see that it still lived.

The greatest victory of all was when she submitted to me, when she moaned my name, when she clung to me like I was everything to her. She'd make me fight for it, but it was always worth it. I fantasized that I was the only one that made her feel this way, the only one in the hundreds of years that we existed, as unlikely as that would have been.

After the games were over she'd sit patiently, even when I was most likely boring her to death. My spells of melancholy never would seem to go away, and I held her like a security blanket.

She meant so much to me. It now seemed like such an obvious decision to be with her, rather than stay true to my wife. Zelda was everything to me, and if she wanted me to be with her, I'd give up anything and everything to do it. It was dangerous. Me needing one person so much was dangerous. It wasn't healthy. I sometimes wondered if there was something wrong with me. When did this infatuation start, this obsession? For as long as I could remember, I felt like I was always chasing after her. I was chasing after her for no real solid reason. Even when I hardly knew her, I had this overwhelming desire to please her.

In my very earliest memory of Zelda, we were both infants, and I still remembered wanting to be with her. By chance, the both of us had been placed near each other at the Skyloft Nursery. Zelda had been wrapped thickly in a blanket so all you could see where her eyes. I had seen those eyes and something in me wanted to be near her. I had crawled the great distance of half a foot to reach her. I think I accidentally slapped her in the face and made her cry, but somehow I remembered it. I shouldn't have remembered it. The two of us were so young, and piled on top with lifetime of memories, that one shouldn't have survived. Maybe it was like the imprinting of seeing your mother's face for the first time. I had never had a mother, so maybe Zelda substituted it for me. Or maybe having an insanely great memory was part of the magic that let us be reborn. But I didn't think that was it. I thought I forgotten things. My memory went as far back to that day when we were infants at the Skyloft Nursery, which is when both Zelda and me agreed was our fist life together.

But I did have another memory, and I was certain that it came before that. This memory is something that stayed with me even during the brief periods of my new lives, where I couldn't yet remember anything from the past. I couldn't remember how old I was in the memory, if I was a boy, a man, or even an infant, but I remember I saw her, a glowing white woman who was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. She was made up entirely of light and seemed to float rather than walk. She had kissed my forehead and I had cried. I had cried in longing to make her proud of me, to do what she wanted me to do. In the past I used to think this woman was my mother, for who else could it be? Who could I be thinking of? But whenever I met Zelda in a life, I knew it was her. I just somehow knew.

Maybe the entire memory was a dream fabricated in my head long ago. Or maybe I had been the Goddess's hero for a lot longer than either of us originally thought.

All I knew was that I was Zelda's, and I'd always be Zelda's. I was meant to be at her side. I was meant to make her happy. That was my purpose. It was a reassuring thought. It justified my happiness.

Once home though, all my reassuring of the decision to see Zelda and not tell Mary was gone. Each time I came home, I felt like I had woken from the best dream I ever had. I was back here, and all I wanted to do was leave and go back to the castle. Mary was too happy with her unborn child to realize I had slipped even deeper within myself. She asked me to do something, I did it. I don't think she even realized I hadn't actually spoken to her for days.

I had come home one day, picking up the few things around the house when Mary burst into the house. Alarmed I looked up from what I was doing.

"She's coming!"

I blinked at her.

"She mailed the letter while she was already at the train station, so I wouldn't have time to make up plans to not be here! I only just got the letter now because I've been in town all day!" She took the few things I were holding and starting putting the items away herself, then rushed into another room.

I stood where I was for a moment. "Who's coming?"

"My _mother_!"

That was nice of her to come visit.

"Did... Did I know she was coming?"

"No, are you listening?! She's surprise visiting us. She thinks she needs to be here for when the baby is born because she doesn't trust you being there for me. She didn't tell us because she doesn't want us to run away."

"Why would we run away?"

"Okay, I would run and you would stay here and be murdered!" Mary came back over to me. "She's going to find reasons not to like you. Not to mention that our house isn't going to be the large fancy place she expected!"

I looked around the house. "Should I have... made it better. Should I make it better."

"No. No, Link. But she's going to make you think that. Because she's evil. I'm just glad I got home before she did."

We heard the sound of horses and carriage wheels. "Oh Gods!"

I wondered if I should be as freaked out as Mary was, or if she was only overreacting. I came to the conclusion she was, maybe it being a pregnant thing. On the other hand, Mary rarely overreacted, even after all this time of being pregnant.

She dashed out the door just in time to help the older skinny woman down from the carriage steps. I took a step to go greet her, but the woman started speaking and her shrill voice stopped me in my tracks.

"There is no road to this place!" she complained. "How does anyone get here!?"

"The dirt road is the road," Mary patiently explained.

"What is this place? The servant's quarters? And where is your husband? Making you greet me all by yourself while your pregnant!"

I realized that I didn't fully make it all the way out of the house. I felt like everyone else was moving too fast.

"Well mom... this... this is actually where we are living. We're trying this new thing, like being humble. It's suppose to be good for the pregnancy." Maybe I should take some lying lessons from Mary.

Mary's mother slammed open the door. She wore an expensive black satin dress that was so tight on her, that she reminded me of a mosquito.

I held out my hand and managed to make myself say, "Hello."

She ignored the hand and pointed her fancy walking stick at my face. "Is this the man that knocked up my daughter?!"

"Well, if it makes any difference, I did marry her before I knocked her up." Did I just say that? I was normally much more polite, even to rude people. My sour mood must have been more than I originally thought. I was rewarded with a smack on the head.

"Rude," she tilted my chin up with the stick. "And much too pretty." She turned to Mary. "He must be cheating on you."

"Wha-?" I lost all feeling in my face.

"Mother!" Mary scolded and began to push her away. "You can't just accept that maybe I was able to catch myself an attractive husband?!"

"I, I have to go do..." My sentence became muttered at the end as I quickly went somewhere other than here. I went to the room that would be for the baby once it was born. I guessed we could keep Mary's mother here, but it soon dawned on me that there was no bed for her. Unless she would like to sleep in a baby crib, which I highly doubted.

Maybe if I was quick, I could run into town and buy a bed. There was no way I could make one in time. It wouldn't match the rest of the furniture, but oh well. I grabbed some money before making my leave.

"Link!" Mary hissed at me, just finishing pouring some tea for her mother. The woman probably hated the tea. Mary stormed over to me. "Where do you think you're going?!"

"Where are we going to put your mother at night? She has no where to sleep. I'm going to town to buy a bed."

"You can't buy a bed right now! I need you. You're _not_ going to just leave me."

"Unless you want your mother sleeping in _our_ bed with us, you better come up with something else fast."

"Man, you right." She pushed me out the door. "You better be fast though."

I tried. I fumbled putting Epona in the harness, and she didn't make it any easier, stepping away from me to reach some blades of grass. The two of us couldn't really gallop to town with her pulling the large cart, so I settle for a brisk trot.

After purchasing the first bed I found, I trotted back home. I took my time settling Epona for the night, not really wanting to go into the house. I also had to take the bed apart, so that was a good excuse.

When I did finally go in the house, Mary glared at me for my lateness. "Where the hell have you been?"

I shrugged and motioned at the board of bed I was now dragging into the house. "I bought you a bed," I said almost proudly to my mother-in-law.

"And just what sort of mattress do you plan to put on that bed?"

"I don't know, the one it came with."

"I'm only allowed to sleep on goose feathered mattresses. It's the doctor's orders. I'm allergic to all other mattresses."

If she needed to sleep on a special mattress, why didn't she bring one of her own?! It seemed like a load of bull to me, but Mary gave me a pleading look.

"Alright. I guess I'll check the mattress."

It turned out, the mattress on our bed was filled with goose feathers, the one I got was straw, straw being one of the things she was allergic too. Mary and me found ourselves on a much smaller bed, while her mother slept in ours.

"I'm not happy," Mary said. the bed was so small, that her shoulder was on top of mine.

"I know," I said, keeping the anger out of my voice.

"You know, it's like three people are sharing this bed, considering how freaken' fat I am!"

"Here," I moved from underneath her and got off the bed. "You take it. I'll sleep somewhere else."

"Where?"

I fell to the ground. "Here." After a moment I asked, "Are you happy?"

She sighed. "I suppose."

Good enough. I slept on the dirt floor.

* * *

"She said she wanted rabbit for dinner, _after_ Mary already made Cucco stew, so I go out, catch a rabbit, which takes me forever and a day, and when I'm finally back, she just wants to eat a salad. She _then_ says that she's a vegetarian during the _evenings_, and that I took too long catching a friggin rabbit! Is that even a thing?! She's doing this on purpose!"

Zelda laughed at me. She was sitting on my lap, and I had somehow convinced her to take her stockings off. She was letting me rub my hands up and down her legs. The movement was comforting. Her skin was so soft.

"I don't think I've ever seen you like this. You're always so calm."

"She's been at the house for a week and a half. I don't know how long I can keep being nice and not say anything."

She laughed again. "You're not going to say anything. You never do."

I heaved a sigh and rested against the bed's headboard. "You're right. I can't ever say no to anyone."

Zelda sat back a little and studied me hard. "Dealing with difficult people is draining," she said. "But you mustn't let her think that it's getting to you. The more weakness she sees, the harder her assault will be. You're the man of the house. You don't take crap from any woman! Except from me, of course."

I chuckled. "I do take all your crap." She kissed me and I let myself enjoy the feeling of her lips pushing against mine for a moment. I turned my head away so I could talk and she continued kissing my neck. "Seriously though, I take a lot crap from a lot of women."  
She moaned into my neck, and it was a sweet sound. "It's hard for me to break the habit."

Zelda stopped what she was doing and glared at me. "So, if some _woman_ told you to jump off a cliff..."

"Depends on who the woman is," I said with a grin. "If this woman had a really big sword...and there's a huge crowd of them, then yes. I think that's actually happened before. Remember the Gerudo?"

Zelda glared at me and punched me in the stomach. It didn't hurt at all. "Fine, I'm going to leave now."

"What are you talking about?"

She got off of my lap. "I'm leaving. You're staying here. You can't follow me. I forbid it."

I grabbed her around the waist with one of my arms.

"You are going to obediently do as I tell you."

I flung her back onto the bed so fast that she let out a startled scream. "No," I growled at her, pinning her down so that there was no way she could escape. She grinned slyly at me.

Though when you got right down to it, I did exactly what Zelda wanted. She wanted me to stop her. I was still being obedient. I was hopeless like that.

* * *

So I changed my way of thinking in the matter, staring at the dead rabbit hanging from the ceiling that no one would probably eat. Mary was cutting vegetables quickly, trying to make her mother something to eat before she had to go to town. Poor Mary had her mother following her everywhere, complaining about her life constantly.

Maybe I let people push me around too much, but one thing I've always been good at is saving damsels in distress from evil tyrants.

My mother in-law walked out of our room and I got up to block her way. "You can't go with Mary to town today," I said.

I heard Mary stop her cutting.

"And why is that?"

"She's very busy today."

"Well she can't do it on her own. She's pregnant. You don't help her with anything! She shouldn't be working at all!"

"Actually, the doctor said it was better to keep my mind and body active, to prepare myself... for the birth," Mary pipped up. That was a lie. Mary had refused to see a doctor during the whole time she was pregnant, no matter how hard I tried to get her to go.

"That's ridiculous. She shouldn't stress herself out."

"We have a doctor's note, that says it's okay," I lied reached behind me on the counter where miscellaneous papers. I found the letter informing us that Mary's mother was coming. I grabbed a writing utensil and quickly began to write a note while Mary was distracting her.

"Yes, he's a great doctor. I'd trust him with my life."

"You don't even believe in doctors."

"This one is an exception. His name is..."

"Doctor Borville," I finished.

"Yes, Doctor Borville."

I showed the older women the note. I took it away quickly when she was about to flip the paper over. "They say he has the 'Golden Mitts'."

"Ah, yes..." Mary agreed.

"Rather expensive, but he knows his stuff! Speaking of which, the reason why you can't go to town with Mary today is because she has an appointment with him that she has to go to, instead."

"Then I'll go with her," her mother said. "I want to meet this Doctor Borville."

"Oh, no. You see, Mary is very late for her appointment," I said looking at Mary. Her eyes widened and she immediately started getting read to leave. "It'll be faster if she goes alone and doesn't have to take the wagon. She can just ride quickly over."

"Why hasn't she left yet, then!?"

Mary quickly pulled on her shoes.

"She was too busy trying to make you something to eat. Since it doesn't look like she's finished, you can eat the rabbit I caught yesterday." I pulled down the rabbit from the rafter it was hanging from. "You better eat it now or it's going to spoil."

My mother in law made a face at the dead animal. "Have I not told you that-"

"You're a vegetarian in the evenings? Well good thing it's morning! I have to go to work soon, so you're going to have to skin it yourself."

I heard Mary laugh once before she ran out the door. Her mother was looking at me like I had gone crazy.

"Oh, you've never skinned a rabbit? Hold on, I'll start it for you." I found a knife. "First you make a small incision and cut down the belly. You don't want to go to deep, or rabbit juice might squirt you in the eye. Just deep enough to break the skin."

Her eyes widened. "Now listen hear, Boy, I believe this-"

"Then you cut it open, and you just use your fingers to take the guts out." I started pulling out intestines and plopping them on the cutting board that Mary was no longer using. "Make sure you find the heart," I pulled it out, blood coating my fingers. "The lungs and kidneys are a little harder to find. You might have to pull the rabbit more apart like this, and then you just get those suckers out of there."

The women looked green.

"Flip it over, small incision on the back, then you just rip the skin off." One tug and I pulled it right off.

She let our a scream, and ran back into the bedroom, closing the door behind her.

"You got that?" I shouted into the door. "I'll let you do the rest. You just have to cut off the head and feet, so I did most of it for you already! I'm going to hang it up right here so you see it when you get out." I tossed the string tied to the rabbit and flung it back over the rafters, hanging it just in front of the bedroom door.

I chuckled to myself as I grabbed my things to get ready for work. That would keep her in there for a while, and finally give Mary some space.

Outside I found Mary leaning against the wall of the house as she held her stomach and laughed.

"You're supposed to be gone," I said, throwing the rabbit guts in a bush for some animal to eat.

"That's right, to Doctor Borville! Is he even a real person?" She continued to laugh. "Did you see her face when you started skinning that rabbit!"

"Yea, she's not going to come out of our room ever now."

"I could have your babies!" she said kissing me.

"I'd hope so."

* * *

"Let me get a doctor."

"No. I don't need a doctor to tell me how to give birth to my own child!"

I pressed my face against my hand. "You've never given birth before."

"I don't need experience. It's instinct. That's how people have been giving birth forever!"

We had had this argument a thousand times, but as I stood, watching Mary groan in pain every so often in our bed, I thought maybe, just maybe I could convince her.

"He could come over and just... you know watch. Just in case. I won't even have him do anything."

"No. No doctor. I don't need some stranger watching me give birth. Mother!"

I sighed and her mother came into the room with a large basin of warm water. "Out of the way, boy!" She shooed me away. "I delivered Mary without the help of a doctor. The fool was late, and Mary came out before he even came into the room. They are useless I tell you! Men..." She glared at me like it was my fault her doctor had come in late. She turned to Mary. "But Mary dear, if you do want a doctor, I'll send for one right away."

"No mother. I can do this on my own."

"You don't even want to see Doctor Borville?"

"Well..." Mary started looking at me. "If it's Doctor Borville, then it's okay. But he's the only doctor that I will see."

"Very well. I'm going to get more towels." Her mother glared at me. "Though they're as coarse as sand paper." She left the room.

I turned to glare at Mary. "You do realize that there is no 'Doctor Borville', right?!"

"Maybe you should stop pushing a doctor on me then." Her mother came back. "Actually Mother, Link and I agreed that I don't need a doctor to help me. The labor should go smoothy with your capable hands."

I rolled my eyes.

"Well you won't be alone. Good thing I came. Your dopy husband would have been no help at all! Is he upsetting you?"

Mary groaned again in pain. "Everything is kind of upsetting me right now."

Her mother glared at me for about the thousandth time. "See? You're upsetting her! Get out of here! You're only making things worse." She smacked me out of the room with her stupid stick. Then slammed the door once I was out.

When I heard Mary scream in pain I tried the door, but it was locked. I groaned in frustration and started doing things around the house. It was hard to keep distracted with Mary's cries of pains.

My growing anxiety grew even more when it suddenly dawned on me that again, I was about to become a father. Another opportunity to screw it up.

I can remember all their names, all their faces. I can remember every child that every one of my wives had ever had. But I've never been a good father, not once. I never gave my son the talk, never walked my daughter down the aisle, never knew what any of them had done for a living or how many kids they had. I never saw a single one grow up. Either I hadn't stuck around or didn't live long enough to see those things. Something always happened.

I realized I had spoiled my chances this time already. This person was going to be born into a family that was already based on a lie. I somehow had managed to pull off lying to Mary. I don't know if I could lie to my kid, too.

The door opened. I didn't notice that Mary's screams had even stopped, or the crying of the baby started.

"Is she okay?" I asked, ignoring the bundle in the woman's arms, not yet ready to believe in its existence.

"Mary needs rest, so don't go bothering her. Here," She handed the bundle to me before I could protest. "Its a girl by the way."

"Sh-shouldn't she be with her mother?"

"She already fed her a little, and Mary as I said needs her rest! Besides, it seems like you're doing fine."

The baby had quieted down some and Mary's mother went back into the room.

I stood with the baby in my arms, slightly trembling, afraid I'd drop her or something. She was staring up at me. Her dark blue eyes watched me curiosity. For some reason I had to look away. I wondered if babies could judge character or if they just blindly trusted everyone around them.

As she reached her little hand to reach out and touch me I realize it must be blind love. She didn't realize how much of at terrible person I was.

I felt too weak to stand and had to sit down. I held her for a while more, my throat thickening, until Mary's mother came out again.

"Mary is ready to feed again." She took the baby from me. "You can come in, you know, instead of wasting you time sitting out here."

I followed and watched Mary take the baby, a smile on her face as she looked at me. "Link, can we name her Lana? I want to name her Lana."

"Yea, we can name her Lana."

She giggled at me. "And you thought I couldn't do it with out a doctor. I showed you."

"You showed me." I watched her be happy with her daughter.

* * *

The next day I watched Mary take care of the baby, washing her, feeding her, singing to her. They looked so perfect together. Did I really belong to this family?

I wondered if I would stay here. Would I stay here for the rest of my life? Looking at the pattern I had developed from my other lives, it was unlikely. The children that I had that were too young to remember me, they were probably the lucky ones. I didn't know my father, so I couldn't miss him. They couldn't miss me, either. The older ones, I didn't know how they had felt. They most likely had hated me.

It would be better if I left before Lana new how much of a failure I could be. And Mary didn't deserve me lying to her anymore.

I waited for Mary's mother to go to bed. I watched Mary lay down Lana in her crib to rest. "Are you going to bed?" Mary asked.

"No." I hadn't slept in a bed since Mary's mother had arrived. I wondered if Mary was more eager to share the bed tonight. We hadn't had sex in a while now.

She followed me out of the room and I sat at one of the chairs, staring at nothing. She watched me for a moment, as if only just realizing my mood. "What's wrong, Link?"

I stared at my hands.

"I haven't been giving you much attention lately have I?"

I stared up at her, surprised that she thought it was her.

She walked up to me and put her hands on my shoulders. "Come to bed with me."

I shook my head. "I can't," and my voice sounded foreign.

"Why? What's wrong?"

I looked at her very serious. Swallowing hard, I closed my eyes tightly before forcing the words from my throat. "I've been cheating on you."

Her face looked so shocked that I had to look away. I just stared at a spot on her night gown.

"What?" she asked in the smallest of voices.

"I've been cheating on you," I said more firmly, rubbing my forehead with my hand.

She slapped me across the face. I let her because I deserved it. "How could you... With who!? Don't tell me! I don't want to know. Why? Why would you do that?"

"I don't know," I said uselessly.

"Is it me? Am I too old for you? Do I ignore you too often?"

"No-"

"Am I not good enough in bed?"

"No, Mary. I don't know!"

She shoved my shoulders. "You have to know! You fucking did it!"

"Well at the beginning you made it sound like our marriage didn't even matter to you! You're with other men all the time! Is Lana even mine?" I didn't even know where the anger had come from. It was just a pitiful excuse.

"Don't be ridiculous!" she hissed at me and hit me again, harder then the first. "Of course she's yours! She looks exactly like you! She has your eyes!"

"You have blue eyes."

"Not like yours. I can't believe you." She covered her mouth with her hand. "I was so happy. I should have known everything was too perfect. _Mother_ even knew!" Tears were starting to fall from her eyes. "You're horrible!"

"I'm sor-"

"Don't even talk to me!" She turned away from me to go into the baby's room, slamming the door behind her. I got up to follow her, but I stopped at the door. The noise had woken the baby, and she started crying. I could hear them both crying through the door. I pressed my forehead against the wood.

I knew what I had to do. I had to disappear. Mary wouldn't want me around anymore. Her mother could help her with the baby. They didn't need me. I had no use here. Lana would be better off with out having me as a father. I just caused pain to Mary. I wondered if I had any real use anywhere. The King didn't need me to protect him and Zelda, she didn't need me either. There was no evil to fight. I was useless in this world. I just needed to leave. Everything would be better off anyway.

I grabbed a few things that were mine and left the house.

Outside I stood in front of Epona for a long time, reluctant to move. The horse stood patiently before me, expecting me to do something. I stroked her cheek lightly and she shoved me over with her head. It was kind of sad that the only thing that still seemed to need me was a stupid horse. I found her things and saddled her up.

I was gently tightening the clinch when Mary came out, in bare feet and wearing only her night gown.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" she hissed.

I put my hand on Epona's withers. "I'm leaving," It was embarrassing how thick my voice sounded. "I thought you'd want me to."

"To where?!"

"I don't know." I gripped the horse's white mane.

"To whoever you've been seeing?!"

"No! I'm just going to go somewhere else."

"Get your ass in this house right now!"

I looked up at her in amazement.

"You think you can just leave and make me take care of Lana all by myself!? You have a daughter in there and you're going to be a fucking father to her!"

My arms still shaking, I took off Epona's saddle.

"Hurry the fuck up and get in here. It's cold."

I followed Mary inside. "I don't... I don't understand."

"Well, maybe I'm trying to forgive you!" she said, locking the front door. "Which I don't!" She glared at me. She started organizing the things on the counter, and I realized she had developed the habit of doing things when upset, just like me. "Maybe I wished someone had forgiven me, when I..." she started.. "I know sometimes shit happens and we're not perfect, even if we seemed to be on the outside." She looked at me, but wouldn't meet my gaze. "I don't want Lana to have to grow up without a father like I did. And I sort of _love_ you... or something, and I want you to stay here." Her face was starting to burn red, and she was trying to hold back the tears in her eyes. "So please come to bed with me," she sobbed.

She reached out to me blindly because there was no way she could see with those eyes. Clutching my shirt she pulled me to her and I hesitantly put my arms around her. She let herself cry for a moment before she pulled me into the baby's room and we both slept on the small bed together. I felt her place her hot face between my shoulder blades. Her grip around me was tight, as if that would keep me from leaving her. I was still physically here, but my spirit hadn't been here for a long time. It was too late for that. Instead of leaving, which would probably have been better for the both of us as much as it seemed to hurt, I stayed.

* * *

Mary and me didn't talk the next morning, though her mother didn't seem to notice. I guess we don't talk when we're _not_ fighting either.

I got ready for work and while I was saddle Epona for a second time, I heard someone run out of the house again. I didn't care to look. I would have ignored it completely if Epona's ears didn't flatten at whatever was coming up behind me.

"YOU ROTTEN CHEATIN' BASTARD!"

No insane reflexes, not one attempt to defend myself. I just stood there as my mother-in-law swung a rake at my face, knocking me clean off my feet. I was mildly annoyed that she startled Epona. I covered my bleeding face for a few more strikes, before realizing that I deserved this and forced my arms down so that the crazy woman could beat the shit out of me.

"MOTHER!" Mary ran out of the house. "MOTHER STOP!" She grabbed onto the rank, trying with all her strength to prevent the rake from making contact with me again.

"I'll make sure another woman won't even want to _look_ at him again!"

"Mother, I forgave him!" She was able to to wrench the rake away.

"He's using you! For some purpose!"

"Mother, this is my business! Go take care of the baby. I had to leave her in a hurry when I realized you were attempting to murder my husband!"

"You're better than him," her mother said, and then turned to go into the house.

Mary turned to me. "Oh Link, I'm so sorry." She bent down to me, taking out a handkerchief. "You're gonna need stitches."

"I have to go to work," I mumbled.

"Link, you need to clean the wound first! You know how dirty that rake it! It's going to get infected!"

I got up, taking the handkerchief. I washed my face using one of Epona's water buckets. I dumped the bucket after I was done so she wouldn't accidently drink it later. "It'll be okay. I can't be late." I got onto Epona, still holding the handkerchief to my face which seemed to refuse to stop bleeding. "I'll see you after."

Mary watched me go sadly.

By the time I got to town, I was able to get the bleeding to slow down. I found a bandage in my saddle bag, but it wasn't big enough to cover the worse of it. She had pretty much got my entire face. I was amazed she hadn't blinded me.

Of course the King question what had happened. I had told him the truth. I was attacked by an old, crazed angry woman. He had laughed at me, loving my sense of humor. I'm not sure if I even had a sense of humor anymore, but people laughed at me anyway.

I hadn't seen Zelda in a couple days. I wasn't supposed to see her today, but when I was done with the King, I went to the library anyway. It was okay. It would be the last time.

"What are you doing here?" Lance asked as soon as he noticed me. "Are you alright, man?"

I put a hand on his shoulder and I realized only after I did it, that the reason was because I felt too weak to stand.

In the back of my mind last night, I knew I would have to do this. I just didn't know I was going to do it until now.

I had to say goodbye to Zelda.

I tightened my grip on Lance's shoulder as I felt my gut wrench.

"Man," he said quietly into my ear. "You're not suppose to be here, remember? It's one of those days."

"It'll only take a minute," I said.

"Let me ask her first, okay?" He detached my hand on his shoulder, and I had to grab the wall. "I'm going to go ask."

I wondered if I ever be this lucky in another life. Will I ever get to tell her I loved her, or kiss her? It was unlikely I could convince her to love me again. This would be the last time I'd even see her for a long time. I should try to cherish seeing her now, even though all I really wanted to do was throw up.

Lance came back out. "She will see you."


	25. Chapter 25

An: Omg I'm back from hell... So as everyone knows I lied about updating in March. I meant to do all these things during my break week, and realizing just because I don't have actual classes, doesn't mean I can't do school work and put way too much on my plate! And I had so much work to do, and things had to be redone that I didn't foresee and to top it all off, at the end of April, my bf decides to drop out of school and move across the country with OUT telling me. He made me believe he was still at school. He is literately the farthest he can get from me without leaving the country (not counting alaska and hawaii) And _I_ was financially supporting him so he COULD go to school and he only had ONE month left... So you can imagine how angry and upset I am. It effected my school work and I wound up doing things at the last minute and everything has been shitty. On a happier note, senior shows are now over, I made 90 dollars selling my work and now I have a free week before graduation and not look for a job to work on this! Yay...! So, currently I feel like I really relate to Zelda's character right now, and she may be a little more bitchier than usual because I am extremely bitter. HAHAHA! I was suppose to start living with my bf, and now I'm alone... and despite my attempts to break up with his stupid ass, I can't and we have this really rocky were not sure if we're together type of relationship, which is what I kinda feel Link's and Zelda's relationship is currently. HA SUFFER FICTIONAL CHARACTERS! This A.N. is so sporadic... whoa.

PS. My younger cousin is getting married soon. I really don't wanna go...

PPS. There's probably a lot of type-os from my haste in getting something up as quickly as possible, so... yea you can yell at me for those.

_-Zelda_

Lance had warned me. Link looked terrible. I imagined finding him severely wounded, skin discolored from blood loss, ready to fall on death's door step. It was always my worst fear, watching Link die before my eyes and being powerless to stop it. I had the right to worry. It had happened before.

But I tried to calm myself down. If Link was really dying I doubted Lance would have just left him out in the hallway. The people of the castle wouldn't let the hero just bleed to death on my floor. And why would Link even be dying in the first place? We were at peace.

No, the much logical explanation for why Link looked terrible was because something less dire happened. It was probably something personal. It probably had something to do with me, like all of Link's pain ever did, and even though this was the less of two horrible outcomes, I prayed it didn't have anything to do with me either.

So when I saw Link's face, cut up and bandaged so badly that it looked like a child had done it, I felt relief. I shouldn't have felt relief. I should have felt sorry that somehow, Link's face had been so badly injured, but besides his face wounds, he seemed intact and though I knew I would be angry as soon as I found out the reason for the mutilation, I was so relieved that it wasn't something worse.

"What on earth happened to you?!"

He looked slightly startled at the question, as if he had forgotten the state he was in.

"You need to go to the medical wing!"

He was silent, staring at me. It soon became apparent that there was something else far more wrong than his damaged face, but I didn't want to deal with that right now. I didn't want to know the reason why he came to me on a day he was not suppose to. He wouldn't disobey me without reason.

No one was moving and I found the stillness unbearable. I grabbed Link's hand and started dragging him to the medical wing. He was surprised at the gesture and stumbled slightly, but he did not pull his hand away from mine. In fact, after several paces his fingers tightened around it and I could feel his hand shaking in my grasp.

We entered the medical wing quickly, me yelling at everyone to get out of my way. The nurses, expecting that they had to do something started to crowed us. I wasn't going to let them tend to Link's wound. They were sure to mess it up.

"Get up there!" I cried and he did so, climbing onto the counter, startled at the tone of my voice. I grabbed his head roughly before remembering to be gentle as I tugged on the bandaged. The damaged flesh was sticking to the material and I had to stop to catch my own breath, though Link hadn't flinched at all. He had flinched when I spoke or grabbed him, but did nothing as I tugged on his wound. "How did this happen?" I hissed.

He gave a grunting noise in answer. I couldn't see his expression well. His hair had falling into his eyes when I turned his head and most of his face was covered in the horrible bandage.

I ordered a nurse to get me some cleaning solution. "Did you clean the wound at all?" I wasn't sure what was dirt, or what was just crusted blood and flesh.

"I need to tell you something," he mumbled.

"Yes you do. You need to tell me how in all of Hyrule you did this to your face. Did you dive face first into a bed of knives!?"

"I need... to tell you something else."

I wasn't listening to him anymore. If it was really all that urgent he was going to have to make a better attempt to gain my attention. I stepped away for a moment to get more supplies and when I returned he was trying to make eye contact with me. I wouldn't let him. I didn't want to know what he wanted to tell me.

As I tried to get closer to his wounded face, he saw me deliberately ignoring him and moved away from me, still trying to get me to look at him.

"Hold still, Link." I warned. If I was going to sew up his face correctly, he was going to have to cooperate.

He put a hand on my shoulder and gently pushed me away from him. "Leave it alone. It's not important."

"Not important!?"

"No," he said seriously. "It'll heal up on its own. They always do. You have to listen to me Zelda.-"

"Oh heal up like the scars on your chest and back?! This is you're face Link! You can't just put a shirt on and say, oh it's cool." I tried to get closer to him again, but he wouldn't let me, keeping us firmly arm's length apart. "Just tell me whatever to have to say while I stitch you up. I can do both at the same time."

"I can't... I can't have you close to me," his voice seemed to crack, but I was to concerned about getting around Link's arm to get to his face to be sure.

"Don't be ridiculous, Link. I'll be gentle. It won't even hurt all that much." He leaned away from me, and I was practically on top of him trying to reach him. "Why are you being such a baby?! You've been through all the trials of Hyrule and you won't get a tiny little needle near your face?"

All of a sudden, Lance was behind the counter and he grabbed Link's head firmly, pushing him to sit up and me to slide off. "You know, you guys are really hard to watch sometimes," he muttered.

Link couldn't break free and I saw him sag slightly in defeat. "Thank you, Lance." And I started carefully repairing Link's face.

Link opened his mouth to speak, but I stopped him. "Don't _move_, Link. That includes your mouth." I had told him he could speak to me while I tended to his face. What a lie that was.

Link set his face into a frown, and I briefly wondered if it would be stuck that way forever if he continued to frown while I sewed him up. I took my time. I wasn't going to risk damaging Link's face with hastiness. When I was finished, I rubbed some ointment on it to help prevent scaring, but I knew that alone wouldn't be enough. Link's face would scar, so I used a quick healing charm.

"Are you using magic?"

"Of course I am. If you hadn't waited so long to tend to it, I wouldn't have had to. Besides, the wound was too deep. It was going to scar."

"Shouldn't you be saving that kind of thing for something more important?"

"This _is_ important."

"It's just my face."

I was getting frustrated and I didn't even know why. Why was I so angry? I decided it was the attitude he currently had. "I am not going to let you permanently damage your face, Link. You have a very nice one."

He grinned bitterly. "That's why all the girls like me. It's why you keep me around."

"What has gotten into you?! You want me to just slash up your face right now?" I picked up the scissors I had been using. "Is that the new look you were trying to go for?!" Lance by now had let go of Link's head when it became apparent that I was done, and free, Link suddenly wrapped his arms around me, pressing his face into my neck.

"Thank you," he murmured into my skin.

Both Lance and I were startled by the gesture. Normally I would be glad to have Link's arms around me, but we were not in the privacy of my bedchambers, but out in the open, and some of the nurses began to stare at us. I gave Lance a sharp look, willing him to do something since I was so unwilling to push Link away.

Blessedly Lance went off to distract the nurses, charming them and lying his ass off. I was mildly annoyed that he was never so charming to me, even though I knew it would have been all lies, it still would have been nice.

Link still had yet to let go of me, and I laid my hand gently on his shoulder. "Link?"

"I love you."

Words like that were suppose to warm a person, but whenever I heard Link confess them to me, all I felt was cold. I wasn't suppose to receive them. All of this was wrong and the longer I held onto him the worse it would get. I had known all of this. Eventually this mess would get out of control and it would be I that would put a stop to it. It would hurt. It may even kill me, but I was prepared to do it. I was going to find a way to make it work, as long as I could anyway. I only really had to last long enough to bare a child. Once my purpose was fulfilled I could prepare for the next life.

But as Link held me, uncaring who saw or didn't, I realized our relationship was ending faster than I expected it to. Link knew this was wrong just as much as I did. I just always thought Link was too in love with me to end it, at least too in love with me to actually say goodbye anyway. Normally he'd would just stop showing up, or try to for it was quite apparent that he couldn't stay far for very long.

Link wouldn't end it with me. He wouldn't tell me goodbye. He couldn't. He just couldn't do that.

But as he held me tightly in the medical wing it was the only conclusion I could come up with for his odd behavior. It would be the right thing for him to do. I should be proud of him for it.

I stood there for a long time, letting him hold me and waited for him to end it. Eventually he pushed away from me, his face red from it being pressed up against me. He got off the counter without a word, and left the room without even saying goodbye. Like I said, Link could never say goodbye. Not physically. But the words didn't really matter much in the long run anyway. It still all meant the same things.

* * *

The evening that I was suppose to see Link, I sat alone in my room. I had known he wouldn't show up. I wasn't exactly sure what finally made Link make the decision to end our relationship now. Perhaps it just had gone on for too long. We were older now. We had our families to consider. Or maybe it was the guilt of it all. Link had always been a better person than I.

It didn't help to know that today would have been an evening where I would have let Link take me all the way, the type of night that I would just let go of everything and give myself to him. I couldn't think about that. It would make it hurt more. I tried to occupy myself by doing some paper work in my room, pretending that he was never suppose to come in the first place, but I couldn't help looking at the clock, counting the seconds until he was suppose to be here. Link had always come on time. Things at the castle always had a very timely manner to them. My husband always did everything the same, at exactly the same times each day, so there would be no reason for Link's arrivals to differ. Link could be easily distracted at times, and maybe be a few minutes late, so of course arrival time for him may have varied slightly. Not that there was an exact set time that I told him to be here, but spending time with me seemed somewhat important to him and he was usually rather quick to reach my door.

Well at least on days when he was expecting that he may get laid.

The clock reached the time that he may have come at his earliest. I bit my lip and forced myself to stare at my stupid little paper. I waited five minutes. On the sixth minute, realizing Link had never been _this_ late before, I knew for sure. Six minutes was too long. He wasn't coming.

Although all this time I had been telling myself he wasn't going to come, I still couldn't hold back how upset I really was. I couldn't stay here. I couldn't stay in this room that I knew normally I would be making love to Link. I had to leave and do other things.

I went to my door, suddenly angry. Link didn't have the balls to simply talk to me? He seemed much more of a cowardly man than one possessing the Courage of the Goddesses. I was glad he wasn't here.

I opened my door somewhat violently, ignoring the figure of Lance as if he were furniture, and turned my attention down the hall in which I had planned to be going, only to see the back of Link's head. He froze at the sound of the door and did not turn around because of the coward he really was.

"Oh hello there, Hero! What brings you here?" I asked. The answer should have been obvious to me. He was here to see me. He always saw me at this time, if only a few minutes earlier. This was a planned visit.

He turned around to meet me, clearly not happy. Well I was prepared for his attitude. I was prepared for his cowardliness and the inevitable fact that he was trying to dump me. I knew it would come out awkwardly, or rudely, or in some other way that would make me angry. But I was going to be calm about this. I would not loose my head, if only to show I was better than him and his stupid cowardliness. And above all I was going to be cold and just as cruel back if I had to.

"I need to talk to you, your Majesty."

"Oh yes," I agreed. "I've been meaning to ask you whatever did happen to you face last week?" I had come to the conclusion that the instance was just a coincidence to Link's decision to end our relationship. I said it more to change the subject really. I knew Link would never tell me, but I wanted to give myself a little more time.

"May I talk to you in private?"

"I don't know," I said looking at Lance, who seemed to be very confused and uncomfortable around the both of us. "It must be very important information if even my most trusted body guard should not hear it."

It had been some time since I had seen Link's face grow angry, and a part of me was victorious at it. Though I knew the more angry I made him, the more likely Link would be to hurt me when the time actually came for him to leave. Good, maybe I wanted it to hurt more.

But then Link surprised me. With his steady glare still on my face, he walked up to me, grabbed me by the elbow and dragged me back to my room. Lance had his eyes on my face, waiting for my orders, but since I was too surprised by Link's boldness, my orders never came and Lance did nothing. Sometimes I wondered if that was a good thing or not.

Link closed the door behind us and released me. I crossed my arms and looked around my room uninterested in him, as if I didn't have a care in the world. I don't know if my charade worked or not.

"Let me talk to you," he said.

"Oh sure, talk away Hero! I am not preventing you from speaking at the slightest!"

There was a long pause that I had to roll my eyes at. Why couldn't he simply open his stupid perfect mouth and say what he was thinking? Why was that so hard for him?

"Mary had her baby," he finally said.

"Congratulations," I answered, slightly uncaring. The sentence at first seemed random to me, but a thought occurred if this was the reason for Link's goodbyes. Unlike my husband, Link's role of father would be much more. It was his duty to raise his child, and that would be a fit reason for Link' to stop seeing me. Though I would have hoped if that was the case, he would have realized that agreeing to see me at all when his wife was already pregnant was a bad idea. But then again I knew it was unfair to him. I had only made the offer after his wife was pregnant, and of course I had expected him to accept it.

"She's a girl. We named her Lana."

"That's nice." I didn't want to know more about the reason why Link was leaving me.

"And I realized, that I haven't been right. And I've been lying about things ... I've lied to the both of you."

Link finally got my attention and I stared at him curiously. In all the lifetimes I've known him, I could not think of one time Link ever lying. He was so bluntly honest sometimes that it was almost painful. And whenever he refuse to tell me something, he always told me very honestly that he would _not_ tell me.

"Remember when you said..." he grinned to himself before shaking his head. "When you said if it was alright with Mary..." He was having a hard time speaking, and I could feel my eyes harden with every word he did manage to spill out of his mouth. I had told myself I was going to keep cool, but the nervous bellowing flames inside me were fighting their was to escape. "'Cause you know, I said Mary and I weren't in love with each other, and you said if it was alright with her, _we_ could be in love with each other. Like this weird open marriage relationship which was somehow moral because no one's feelings were getting hurt, and even though it went against the law, the law's not always right, so what we were doing was right."

I pressed my mouth together and kept quiet as Link rambled. My brain was moving faster than his words were anyway.

"But I lied. I was wrong. Mary... She told me... She told me she loved me. Like she was in love with me..."

My fist tightened and I knew, if he started to go into that whole bull shit of him being in love with multiple people I was going to go into a rage and literally kill him. This subject had been brought up multiple times before in other lives. It was something that I just couldn't get myself over. I should have. It was normal for people to fall in love more than once. It wasn't practical to stay in love with someone, and only that someone as long as I had been in love with Link. If anything, it was unnatural. Out of the eons I had existed, since the beginning of time and all my memories, not once did I see anyone else as beautiful as I saw my Hero. No husband of mine, no courtier, no anyone. My love had always been for my country and for my people. No one person was greater of my attentions. No one, but Link.

But of course that was strange, and of _course_ no other person was like that. Maybe they thought they were, but people always died to young to realized love never really lasted. Especially if the one you love repeatedly pushed you away. How do you repair a broken heart? You fall in love with someone else, and Link had fallen in love with someone else to mend his broken heart each and every time. And if for some reason, I was to ever show up or appear after he had mended his heart with someone else, he would claim to love me still; that he could love the both of us.

And I just couldn't get over that. I could not understand it. My small frozen little heart could hardly comprehend love at all, and then he would confuse it even more.

"... and I lied about it. I made you think I had told her so that you would let me stay with you."

Oh, was he still talking? "And you love her," I finally said, because he was taking too long and I just wanted to get it over with.

"No. No not like that. It's not because I'm in love with her."

I glared at him. Like I hadn't noticed that his current wife had red hair. The color its self, he was infatuated with. He had followed a pattern. The first _other_ girl he had ever told me he was in love with had red hair. His first wife ever probably had red hair, though thank the goddesses I never had to meet her. She was probably his first, and true love. He only loved me because he just couldn't get rid of me.

I felt my eyes threatening to cry and I was angry that I wanted to. I was also angry at Link's sad face. He had never cried, at least not in front of me. Even if he hurt himself as a baby, he normally would just lay there with a dumb look on his face as if pain confused him more than hurt him. I wished I could hold back tears like he could. I wished I was that strong.

I wished I could hurt him enough to make him feel what I felt, to make him cry like I cried. I was angry that he never did.

"I kept it a secret from her, so I could be with you, and that was wrong and selfish of me."

I glared at the wall, and even though the statement made me feel a little bit better, all my insecurities had already built up inside me and I was having a hard time calming them down.

"But I couldn't keep lying anymore, Zelda. After Lana was born... I had to tell her."

"Get on with it!" I shouted. Link looked at me in alarm. "Go on. Tell it to me. 'I can no longer see you.' Isn't that what you want to say? Can you get it over with so I don't have to stand here and listen to your sob speech that I don't give two shits about?!"

"Zelda, I tried to tell you last week-"

"Last week, that's right. When you ran away after I fixed your face, like the cowardly man that you are!"

I must have hit somewhere below the belt, for his whole body tightened as he clenched his fits. "Maybe you're fucking right, but I couldn't-"

"Then redeem yourself right now. Tell me to my face."

"I _can't_ Zelda!"

"Why the _hell_ not, Link?!"

"You have to do it," he said hurt, having to look away from me. He undoubtedly thought I would end it all with a single command and send him packing. He was used to it after all, but I could see him wince slightly as he tried to prepare himself.

I was too angry to make this easy for him. "Oh,_ I_ should do it for you? I don't see why I should make any of this easy for you considering this is your wrong."

"Like you've told your husband what you've been doing with me," he shot back.

I felt myself mortified for a moment. "My situation is much more complicated for me than for you! Your wife can't order you off your nonexistent thrown! The worst she could do is leave you, and frankly I really don't care."

"Then with both agree that seeing each other like this is wrong."

"It is."

"Then end it."

"_You_ end it!"

"Because I fucking can't!"

"Oh right, because you're a coward."

"It's because of _you!_ You told me to come see you!"

I watch him shake, whether from anger or weakness I didn't know.

"You told me to come see you. And I've been following you're wishes since the beginning and I can't... I just can't. Call it cowardliness or whatever you want. And I know I have a duty to the Goddesses and to Hyrule, but the only reason why I even do all that shit is because you told me to do it first. You come first. So if I even think there's a possible reason that you want me to come back, you know I will. I wasn't suppose to come here today, but here I am standing in your fucking bedroom."

"You would abandon you're country, and go against the Goddesses just for a fucking lay with the Queen!?" I knew that wasn't at all what he was saying, but I was just too angry. No matter how flattering his words were, how much he claimed or seemed to love me, the point still was that it all had to end, and he was going to make me do it. I thought he would be angry at the statement I had just made, but as I looked at him it appeared that he was pondering if such a statement was true or not. "You're a terrible person," I said.

"You're just realizing this now?"

I turned away from him. "Since, apparently all you ever done is what I've told you to do, maybe it's time for you to make your own decision for once."

"If I always did what I wanted, everything would be terrible."

"Is that so." I stared at my bed stand. "If it was up to you, I imagine, you wouldn't have been the Hero at all."

There was a long pause, and I knew I was right. He would have just lived his normal life with his true love as a wife and that was all he would have to do.

"No, I've always wanted to," he finally answered. "Sure, it's not easy and often times I wish I wasn't but... I still wanted to help."

"Well, what is it that you want that would be so terrible if you act on it? Tell me." I turned to him, only to have him look away.

"I can't tell you."

"And this is why we're not getting anywhere."

"It shouldn't even fucking matter what I want anyway!"

"How am I suppose to help you then Link."

"I already told you what I need your help for."

"Ending our relationship so you don't have to, isn't helping you. What do you want to do? Do you want to cease being the Hero? Just tell me. If that's what you want, there's probably a way to find a new Hero or something. It'll take time, but there doesn't seem any potential threat in this life so there's time to-" Link suddenly grabbed me by the arms and pinned me against the wall between one of the dressers and the door. It would be the closest possible place for Lance to hear me if I were to scream, and I was alarmed to realize Link probably had done it on purpose. He would want Lance to know if I were distress so he could get himself in trouble. I had gotten that impression a lot. That he did things for the sole purpose to see if he would get caught or not, and then he would always seemed slightly disappointed on his good luck.

"I know exactly what I want, Zelda so don't give me all that bull shit about finding a new hero," he growled. "I'm going to ask you a simple question, and you're going to answer it, and then I'm going to act based on that answer."

I refused to look at him. Slightly annoyed that I was pinned to the wall, but more annoyed in the fact that I was enjoying how close he was to me.

"Do you want me to stay or do you want me to stop?"

I shrugged my shoulders still refusing to look at him. "Stay," I said almost meekly.

He took my chin in his hand and forced me to face him. His eyes were so serious and almost frighten to look at. But they were also beautiful and familiar and I could not look away.

"Stay." I told him more firmly, and he crashed his lips into mine, hard trying to devour me. We both seemed to remember what type a day it was. My victory was marred by my guilt. We were both terrible people. We deserved each other for being terrible.

I could feel he was just as stressed and guilty as I was, I felt it in the forceful way he claimed me, like if he could make himself believe it, it would make it right. If we wanted it it was right.

So I wanted it.

* * *

"So what I'm saying is, that you two have more drama than a trashy romance novel-not that I've read one-and that it takes a lot out of me, listening to your bitchin' and covering up your mess! All of this was so not in the job description when I signed up and I'm pretty sure if this keeps going as it is, I'll commit suicide."

I rolled my eyes. I had just gone on a whole rant on how stupid Link was, even though I knew Lance had heard the whole thing behind the walls, and my side of the story probably sounded a lot different than how Lance has interpreted. "Well you are dead set against working for the King so you're just going to have to deal with me and all of my problems! Because I just can't stop the problems! Especially following your awful suggestions."

"Maybe I'll just quit," Lance shrugged crossing his arms and shrugging his shoulders. I gave him a startled look when I thought of Lance being replaced by most likely a slow witted loosed mouthed guard. He started laughing at me. "Your face... should always look like that. Keep me laughing all day."

I returned to my glaring. "What is it that you want then."

"A raise."

I scuffed. "Really?"

"You're right. That wouldn't do me any good considering you need time to enjoy your money. A raise and a vacation."

I started to laugh. I don't know why, it really wasn't that funny. "You on a vacation?! Where would you even go? What would you do?"

"I'd be away from you and that's all I need."

"Fine, I'll give you a vacation."

"For reals?"

"Yea. I'll have Felix or someone replace you. You can go on one of the more boring days than usual."

"You're kidding right?"

"I am not. You can sleep the entire day away. I assume that's what you will do since you'll probably just be bored out of your mind with nothing to do."

"Like... 24 hours without you kind of vacation or the kind that I have to stay in my room until you need me again which would wind up being like two hours, type of vacation?"

"You don't have to stay in your room. You can go where ever you like, but," I started to laugh again. "I don't know where you'd go."

Lance was staring off into space. "So you're telling me, I can go anywhere I want, _without_ you."

"Yes, for Din's sake. It's been long over due for us to be apart! I don't know why I haven't thought of this before."

"Oh, Goddesses..." He began gazing off somewhere with his mouth open.

"What the hell's wrong with you?!"

"I'm just so happy."

I found myself annoyed again. "Well I imagine you'd be rather bored." I feared I might be.

"Psh!" He waved his hand. "I'll have a great time. You'll be bored without me, because you don't have any friends, but for me... this will be the best day of my life."

"What?! What sort of friends do _you_ have?!"

He stared at me. "I have friends."

"Yea right. No one in this place has friends."

He snapped his fingers at Annabell who was making the bed before my husband returned. "Annabell and me are pals, isn't that right, girl?"

Annabell stopped what she was doing to glare at Lance. "I hate you."

I looked at Lance smugly.

"I have _other_ friends. _Outside_ the castle."

"Sure you do."

"I have more than you."

"We have exactly the same amount which would be zero number of friends."

"You are like the most pessimistic person I have ever encounter in my entire life."

"Well if you had friends, maybe you would encounter more."

"I _have_ friends. I'll count them and tell you by name who they are."

"Oh please, tell me now."

"After my vacation." He sat down on my bed lazily before Annabell was done smoothing out all the wrinkles. She gave him a glare, but that didn't bother him.

"That doesn't count.

"Annabell," he answered.

"GET OFF!" She pushed him off the bed.

"See? I'm already winning."

Annabell quickly finished the bed and hurried out of the room. "I _hate_ you!" she said to Lance before leaving the room.

"Well I don't exactly see it, but maybe you're right. Annabell and you are the _best_ of friends. You are so winning. One more over my zero. Congratulations."

"What about you and me?"

"I dislike you as well."

He tugged on my hair. "I'm your fucking friend, bitch." And never before, did such a vile sentence made me smile.

"Then it appears that I am winning, since I still don't believe Annabell is your friend, and even if you consider yourself as _mine_ I am not going to admit that I'm am _your_ friend."

"Well I got a whole list, so don't you worry about that."

"Okay, well I won't."

He pulled out a piece of paper from his notebook. "I'm starting it right now."

"Okay, you write away!" I read as I waited for my husband's return and Lance pretended to write names down on his list. Eventually he got bored of his fake writing and pretended to doze, and the paper was forgotten on the floor. When it was time for him to leave, the list was still on the floor, and curiosity getting the better of me, I picked it up and looked at it.

At first glance it was a long list, until I realized that all the names were crossed out. All except for one, which was the first one he had wrote down, coming before even Annabell. Annabell's name was crossed out with a question mark next to it. I always thought Annabell's hate for Lance was just the general hate everyone had for him, but it seemed more like the two were having a more personal fight. I wouldn't have cared about Lance's personal life. It wasn't my business and it wasn't all that important in the grand scheme of things. I wouldn't have let Lance's stupid feelings bother me at all, except for what was the only cleanly written name on the top of his list.

It read, "Best Friend: Zelda."


	26. Chapter 26

An: So I've been thinking of MAYbe changing the title of this from "Confessions of a Queen and her Knight" to "Confessions of a Queen and her Hero" just because Link isn't REALLY a knight...I think I was going to have him be like a real knight but he turned into a bodyguard instead, but if it doesn't bother anyone than I might just keep it that way because he's kind of like a knight. He's no noble, but his Hero status has raised him up to a "sir" Link, or at least some people call him that. Another thing is I feel like I should make the summary better than it is but I don't know what to say.

And lastly, I kinda want to put a cover picture on here, but I don't want to do it myself. LOL I know I'm an artist, that's what I went to school for, but some reason I just can't get myself to do fanart. It's not a pride thing, I simply can't do it. I don't like my drawing style or something I don't even know. I just can't do it. But if any of you can draw and is willing to give me permission to use something as a cover or whatever, that would be kinda super cool. But you are already super cool for reading my fanfic, so there's no obligation!

_-Link_

"Fuck! Fuck it!"

Epona flattened her ears at me as if disapproving of my language. I dragged her out of the stables, reluctant to mount her in fear I'd kick her too hard in my anger. Having her walk beside me was more calming. I listened to her foot falls besides me on the cobble stone.

_1, 2, 3, 4, 1, 2, 3, 4..._

She dropped her head when she sensed me start to relax and we walked together out of town.

'Be a good man.'

How many times have I been told that by people I held in the highest regards, people I respected and looked up to? I was suppose to be the good guy, to be the hero.

I never had a father, but there had been people that had felt like fathers to me. They taught me lessons and handed down their wisdom before each and everyone of them had past on. I wanted to follow their words. I wanted to be someone they could be proud of. I had always tried to be a good person. I had always tried to help the people around me. I had never wanted to hurt anyone. I just wanted to make everyone happy.

But of all the people that I respected and wanted to make proud of me, the most important person I looked up to, had always been Princess Zelda. In my eyes, the princess could do no wrong. She was so charming and smart. Everything she said seemed to make sense and be right. Even after she had performed a mistake, I blindly followed her. If I did what she said, things would work out. Maybe I was the legendary Hero, but without Zelda's guidance I wouldn't have been able to do half of what I had done.

Zelda was good. Zelda always knew what the right thing to do was. As much as I wanted to keep our relationship as it currently stood, it was wrong and Zelda didn't do wrong. As much as it hurt me every time in the past, when she refused me time after time again, it was alright because I knew she was doing the right thing.

I hadn't meant to hurt Mary. I had failed to be a good person. I hadn't followed Zelda's wishes exactly as she told me to and I failed. It took me a while, but I eventually dragged my shameful ass back to her to have her fix the mistake I had made.

I had expected her to be extremely disappointed in me. I was extremely disappointed in myself. That's why it took me so long to face her. I knew I would deserve it, when she told me to leave the castle and never come back. She would allow me to redeem myself and be the father I was suppose to be. She would make it right when I couldn't.

But not only was I hurting Mary. I was hurting Zelda and it was too much for me to take. I hadn't expected Zelda_ wanting_ me to stay. I didn't think she could feel much more for me than hate. Not after I told her the truth.

But she told me to stay.

I knew it was wrong. She knew it was wrong and yet that was her command, 'Stay.' I never had this sort of dilemma before. Zelda's wishes always seemed to be the right thing to do, but now I had to choose between being a good person and making Zelda happy.

The choice should have been obvious.

The right thing to do.

But...

Zelda being selfish was baffling. I felt like I should looked down on her decision, but I didn't feel disgusted at all. I almost felt relief. Sure our private accouters were rather selfish of her in the first place, but I always had the impression, whenever I was happy, Zelda was purposely doing it so I would be happy. Maybe that was selfish, thinking she did all this for my benefit. It was so hard for me to grasp the concept that there was a possibility that maybe her feelings for me where anywhere close to what I felt for her. But if that was the case, if she really did want me so much that she was willing to discard all that was good, then maybe-Fuck!

This was hard.

I had loved and respected the good in her. All of this should have been a turn off, but it just made me want her more. The proof that she was human for once, just like me, should mean we were meant for each other. We had been good all the other times. We had worked so hard for so long. If she was feeling what I was feeling, I could understand, what it felt to reach that breaking point, to not give a shit anymore and just really need something. And I was not going to deny her anything.

But of course that still meant I had the Mary problem. The question wasn't if I was going to leave Zelda or not. I wasn't going to leave her. It was if I was going to stay with Mary or not.

After enough walking, I climbed on top of Epona, and instead of continuing home, I rode out no where. I hadn't ridden Epona hard in a long time and I could feel her excitement with each stride she took. I pushed her, concentrating on nothing, but riding for a while. I didn't stop until her entire body was drenched in sweat.

She blew from her nose, still excited though I knew she couldn't keep going at that pace without hurting herself. I let her walked it off as we headed for home.

When I finally did get in the house, the first words I heard were, "You're later than ever."

I looked up at Mary. Thankfully her beloved mother had already gone to bed.

"I went riding," I said.

"You've never done that before."

I gave her a look. "How'd you know?"

"You've never been this late before."

"I went riding for longer." I realized Mary was going to start noticing the times I came home from now on. She would see that some nights I would be later than others. She would start to worry and get suspicious. She would start turning into someone she swore she would never turn into.

"Well why are you always coming back at different times?"

"What are you talking about? I usually get home before you."

"Well now that I'm home all the time I've noticed."

I was suddenly annoyed. I didn't know if I could stand living here anymore. What reason did I really have to stay? "What are you doing?" I asked angrily and turned around to face her.

"I'm not doing anything."

"You're asking me all these questions! I don't ask you questions all the time."

"Well I haven't given you any reason to, or you would be asking them!"

"You have given me plenty of reason to ask questions, Mary. I've just chosen to not ask them because it's none of my business."

"Why are you getting all angry now?"

"Why are you all of sudden caring where I am?"

"Because I don't _trust_ you!" She finally admitted.

"Then why do you want me to fucking stay here if you don't trust me?" My voice was so quiet compared to hers, and it wasn't really like she was yelling. The quietness of my voice seem to freeze Mary on the spot.

"Because-"

"If you don't trust me, why don't you just let me leave?"

"Do you want to leave?"

I was silent for a moment, moving from my spot to take off my equipment from work. "Maybe."

I could feel Mary watching me, trembling with emotions.

"I mean, what reason do I have to stay here?" I asked. "You don't trust me, Lana's got you and her grandma. I'd be a worthless father anyway."

"But I need you. I would get lonely."

"Mary. You don't need me. Do you even know me? All we've been good for is fucking each other."

"Fuck Link! You've all I got!"

"No I'm not! You hang out with hundreds of guys all the time. You could choose anyone else to be with. Why don't you just go back to fucking Eric!"

Mary actually pushed me. I wasn't expecting it so I fell back slightly, hitting the wall behind me.

"Because fucking Eric is fucking dead!"

I felt something horrible solidify in my stomach.

"Why are you here if you don't want to be? Why don't you just leave and marry the harlot you've been seeing?!"

"I'm sorry," I said. Tears spilled from her eyes. "I'm sorry!" I repeated if that would just make her stop crying.

"Why won't you just go marry _her?_" she whimpered again.

I couldn't tell her the real reason, for risk of reveling Zelda's identity. So I just said something stupid. "Because I married you."

I don't know what she thought that meant, but she wrapped her arms around me and cried.

* * *

My mother in law would find more and more things that I was apparently terrible at. "You're carrying her haphazardly! That's why she's always so unhappy all the time!" She grabbed my daughter out of my arms. "Little bounces makes Lana happy, don't it?" The older woman proceeded to shake the infant up and down, but it only seem to make the baby cry even more. I looked at Lana, silently sending her my sincerest apologies that she had such an unpleasant grandmother.

There was a knock on the door.

"Well?" The older woman glared at me. "Go get the door!"

I was reluctant to leave her with Lana, but I did what I was told. I answered the front door.

I was surprised to see Lance at my doorstep. "What's wrong?" I asked, automatically assuming the worst. Zelda wasn't with him. I felt myself begin to panic.

"Nothing," he waved his hand. "Calm down. Are you busy?"

"No," I answered. We were about to eat dinner, but I wasn't really looking forward to that. We rarely had dinner together and it was going to be awkward and unpleasant, no matter how much Mary said it would be good for us.

"Oh that's great."

The two of us stood there for a moment. I was waiting for Lance to tell me why he was here. Maybe Lance was waiting for me to invite him inside, but for his sake, I was slow on the invitation.

"The Queen gave me the day off," he finally explained.

"Oh. That was nice of her."

"Yea, it was real nice. She was also nice enough to claim that I was friendless and would do nothing with my time off except sleep the day away."

There was another pause.

"And she was fucking right! I have _nothing_ to do! I tried to sleep, man. I really tried. But I couldn't do it, and there's no one I could hang out with, because she's right! I don't have any friends!"

I grinned and chuckled slightly. "I'm your friend, Lance."

He clutched his fits together in silent victory. "Yes..." He turned away from me to shout at nothing. "TAKE THAT BITCH! FRIEND NUMBER TWO!" He whirled around to face me. "Sorry. Had to get that out of my system."

"Hey of course! You've been doing me favors forever. Of course we're friends."

"Exactly! And you don't even pay me!"

"Would you like to stay for dinner?" I asked. I thought I'd probably regret the offer, but I didn't want to turn Lance away after he came all the way over here.

"Is it free?"

"I'm your friend of course it's free."

Suddenly, doom was standing behind me. "Oh, and what do we have here? What a handsome man!" She turned to glare at me. "What are you doing boy? Just making him stand on our doorstep! Not even inviting him for dinner?! Come in, come in!"

I sighed. Just ignore it, Link... Just ignore it.

"Why thank you!" Lance said as he came into the house. "What a lovely _young_ lady! You must be Link's wife!"

My mother in law blushed before waving her hand. "Oh no, I would never marry this dirt bag... You must be thinking of my daughter! She's just as lovely as I, I must say."

"Oh I wouldn't doubt it!'

Lance followed my mother in law deeper into the house and I decided to go look for Mary. Staying with these two would most likely be an entire conversation of Link bashing, and I got the impression that Lance was going to be able to hold his own with the woman anyway, so I deemed it safe to leave him.

"Mary?" I called into the bedroom.

"What?!" She called back nastily. She had been pretty bitchy all day when I first told her I didn't want to eat dinner as a family. I don't know why she cared so much since obviously I was going to eat dinner with the rest of the family if I liked it or not.

"We got company."

"That's nice. I don't care."

"It's Lance, the Queen's guard. He's looking for friends so be nice to him."

"_I'm_ always nice," she glared at me before leaving the bedroom to go greet him.

"Lance, this is my daughter Mary!" Mary's mother took her by the shoulders and presented her to Lance, though the two had met previously.

"She's like you said, if not even more beautiful!" said Lance politely.

I saw Mary look away shyly. It made me annoyed. Mary never got flustered, and it should have been obvious that Lance was just being polite. "How charming of you to say," she finally answered. "Please take a seat. Dinner is almost ready."

And just like I suspected, dinner was awkward.

"So what brings such a lovely man to our table?" asked my mother in law.

"I'm on vacation, so I thought I'd visit my pal, Link."

"And what is it that you do?"

"Well," Lance laughed. "I don't want to brag, but I happen to be the Queen's personal bodyguard."

"Oh wow, what an honor it is to have you here at our humble table! A bodyguard, did you hear that Mary? He must be very physically fit."

"Oh yes," Mary replied, distracted. She was too busy staring at Lance. I couldn't understand it. Not once had she made any sort of indication that she had interest in him before.

"Well I mean, it's not all that exciting," Lance continued. He had also noticed the way Mary kept staring at him and he seemed to be uncomfortable about the fact. "Actually, my life is quite dull and boring and I don't really have any friends."

"What makes you say that?" asked Mary in alarmed.

"Well Link here's my bud, right?"

"Right," I told him. I rather him not keep pointing me out. I was pretty content with both the women in the room to have their attention directed at him.

"But according to _Her Majesty,_" he muttered.

"What a cruel thing to say," Mary commented.

"Oh she is cruel. Everyone always goes on about how nice and understanding the Queen is," he scuffed a laugh. "She hates everybody."

"You know I got that impression when we ate dinner with the Royals that one time. Do you remember, Link? It truly seemed like she disliked me. And I've never met her before so I see no reason why she would be so mean. But if it's like you say, and she just hates everyone, well she must be a bitch. Oh I'm sorry," she covered her mouth. "I really shouldn't say things like that."

"No, no, no, insult her as must as you like. She's a fucking bitch," Lance went on. "The things she says to me, when all I'm trying to do is help..."

"Sometimes I just want to march up to her and tell her to take that big ol' stick out of her ass."

"Oh Goddesses, I would love you!"

Mary seemed to think too hard on the statement.

"If that were to happen..." Lance corrected. "Which it wouldn't," he started to laugh.

"Well I'll be your friend, Lance!"

"Oh great, you can be number three on my list!"

"I'm a great friend! I'm funny, I'm out going... Link's a good friend too, but you know sometimes he can be a bit boring."

"So Lance, are you married?" asked my mother in law.

"No," Lance answered before abruptly picking up his cup and drinking it slowly.

"Oh well that's a shame," she said, eyeing at Mary. I sighed. "A nice looking man like you shouldn't be single. A single man like you should be seeing a nice girl."

Lance just kept drinking out of that cup.

"Well you know, sometimes single men don't see other women when they should, and non single men do when they shouldn't," Mary said, getting up to replace the platter of meat with more. I ignored the statement. I couldn't help notice that her mother was eating meat tonight.

"Yes, sometimes non single people should just leave their husbands!" her mother went on. "And find tall handsome body guards!" Everyone pretended to laugh and I saw Lance give me a sideways look. It was okay. I was use to it.

Dinner lasted forever. I didn't know Mary could talk so much. Her mother eventually had to excuse herself and go to bed. She hadn't lasted very long, especially after Mary brought out drinks. Alcohol tending to knock the old woman out, thank the Goddesses.

Mary on the other hand, was having a lot to drink, claiming she was making up for lost time during her pregnancy. Eventually she got out her old lute, and her and Lance sang raunchy songs together. The three of us would have had a great time, if it wasn't for the fact that Mary was obviously trying to hit on Lance in front of me.

"I think," she said, taking Lance's hand. "You are way more attractive than you think you are."

Lance laughed at her and took his hand away. "You are also intoxicated."

"I am not!" she laughed. "But really. You're like distinguished. Link, Link's like pretty, but he's still kind of plain looking."

Not one of her jabs bothered me. I don't know if she noticed.

"I'm awkwardly put together. Link is in proportion to himself. That's why Link's a good looking guy. And generally, in living things, the better in proportion, the the better they perform, like in horses."

"Are you saying that you have poor performance in bed?" Mary asked, putting her hand back on Lance's arm, even as he tried to lean away.

"No. I wasn't saying that all. I was thinking of performance as more as fighting and surviving in the wild sort of thing, and not getting eaten." Lance rambled quickly, looking at Mary as if she was going to eat him.

"Well reproduction is a sort of survival."

"For the species in general, but when you think about it, it doesn't do the individual any good."

"Oh don't say that!"

"Well in any case," he said scooting his chair closer over to me and putting an arm around my shoulder. "Link's genes are much better suited to procreating the species than me."

Mary started to laugh her ass off. Lance kept looking at me to help him, but I wasn't really giving a fuck.

"Link's just a fucker," she said. "Let me get you more to drink, Lance!"

"I really shouldn't."

"Psh! Come on! It's your vacation!"

With Lance's help I was eventually able to convince Mary to go to bed, and him and I sat outside to breathe fresh air.

"Wow," Lance said after a moment of silence. "That... was terrible."

"Yea, I'm sorry about that."

"I mean, Mary's nice. But she's fucking crazy, man. They're both fucking crazy. You have to live with that!"

I nodded my head.

"Zelda's fucking crazy but at least she's just one person, and not a whole family of fucking crazy people!"

"Well Mary seemed to really like you," I said.

"I'm really sorry about that. I tried to back her down. Do you mind if I smoke? The Queen never lets me smoke."

"Go ahead."

I watch him roll a cigarette with shaking hands. He burst out laughing once he was finished. "She kept touching me! Like every five seconds, her hand had to be somewhere on me."

"It's cool. You could keep her if you want."

"Oh no," He lit his cigarette with flint and steal in a way that could only come from practiced skill. "That's your problem. I'm pretty sure I've told you this, but there's no way in hell that I would ever want to switch places with you."

"You could just kill me instead then. Do it right now, right here. That would be fine by me."

He blew some smoke from his mouth before grinning at me. "And have me risk the Queen's fury? I don't think so. Besides you're one of the few friends on my list. And I'm in desperate need of male friends. Too much bitchin' as it is. Can you believe it? The Queen doesn't think I'm her friend? Do you think I would listen to her moaning all of the time just because she paid me? No money in the world is worth all that shit!"

"Zelda doesn't like to get close to people," I said, sliding down more in my chair to get comfortable. "Don't take it personally. It's a defense mechanism she has."

"She's fine getting close to you."

"I'm an exception," I told him.

"You're just hot, that's the reason."

"Really. Zelda's lost a lot of people close to her. She feels if she admits she likes you, you'll wind up dead or something."

Lance gave me a long stare in consideration. "She tell you this?"

"No, but I can tell." Zelda had lost her parents a thousand times and again. I've always been lucky. I never knew my parents, but Zelda always had a strong connection to hers, especially to her fathers. Almost always, she got to watch them die far too young, but old enough for it to be painful. Loosing her mother so often, Zelda would almost always have a nurse maid with her; Impa. Her name was always Impa.

Impa was one of the people who confused me in all this reincarnation business. I was never able to figure it out. Was the nanny reincarnated with us? And if so, why wasn't she always around when we where? Zelda said their were times when she believed herself to be reincarnated without me, though I didn't want to admit it, but I thought it was more likely that something bad had just happened to me and I didn't show up when I needed to. Maybe sometimes, people like Impa just didn't get to where they were suppose to be in time. But then sometimes, at least I've noticed with other people that I've suspected to be reincarnated as well, there comes a time when that particular person just stops being reincarnated and is gone. I didn't know how it happens. Maybe they weren't able to reproduce an heir or what, but they're just gone and they didn't come back. At least I hadn't seen sign of them in a very long time.

It would drive me crazy. These other people never seemed to have past memories, but maybe I just never knew them long enough for them to remember again. You would think Zelda would know if Impa was in fact a reincarnated Impa. I had never asked, since something the very name of her formal nurse maid would upset her. There was no Impa in this life time. There hadn't been one for awhile now.

I looked at Lance and realized the implications of how much he probably meant to Zelda. He had most likely replaced that important figure in her life. Who else did she have in this life time? Her parents had died in a train wreak. It had been an assassin attempt on the entire family, and Zelda had only managed to survive protected by her dead mother's body. Her uncle had taken up raising her, but right before her wedding date, he had a heart attack and past during the night.

She had been so upset that she had no one to walk her down the aisle, that it was all she was concerned about for an entire week. From an outsider's point of view, she may have seemed petty that she was more upset on that little fact than she was of the actual death of her relative. But I knew, it was how she hid her feelings. That's why she was nasty to Lance. She was hiding her feelings.

I remembered I had volunteered to walk her down the aisle. Her face the entire time was so cold like a stature of marble, and her dressed in white, she looked like the goddess she was. I tried to mimic her, showing no emotion as I gave my goddess away to her soon to be husband.

I felt my chest constrict remembering the last desperate look she gave me.

We were silent for a long time, lost in our own thoughts. I didn't know how much time past before Lance spoke again, already half way down through his cigarette. "You know," he laughed. "One thing I am a little jealous about is that you get to fuck two women at the same fucking time. They're crazy as shit but, I mean, I haven't been laid in _ten_ years."

I was a little surprise Lance admitted what he said to me, though I had imagined that was most likely the case for him. His job was demanding. He really didn't have his own life.

He continued to laugh. "And guess who it was!"

"I really don't know."

"Annabell."

"Annabell? Isn't that one of Zelda's attendants?"

"Yea, the one that looks like a mouse and wears fucking yellow all the time. Fucking yellow..."

Now that surprised me. Annabell was shy and a little prude at times. She wasn't the type of person that I thought would be into a person like Lance. "Really?"

"I know right? She's not even hot. But man, we were really desperate and really drunk, but mostly a lot of desperate. At least I was." He was laughing so hard he was having trouble speaking. "We had to... We had to keep our eyes closed because we didn't find each other attractive at all!" He continued laughing as he started to remember it. "We had to pretend we were someone else, so she pretended I was Hylia's Chosen Hero."

"What?"

"I know, weird, and I pretended she was the Goddess Din, because out of all the Goddesses, Din is by far, the hottest."

I started to laugh.

"Hey! Don't laugh at me! You're suppose to be my friend!" He threw his cigarette butt at me. "This is trusted information that you're not allowed to tell anyone!"

"I won't tell anyone."

"You better not be judging me either."

"I am not judging."

"Because I know, you don't understand what it's like, since you're getting fucking laid all the time, but sometimes when you're desperate, a fucking tree stump looks hot."

"I... have never fucked a tree stump before," I admitted

"Me neither! I didn't say that I did, you stupid Hylian!" He kicked my chair. "I'm saying I've _thought_ about it, because you know what tree stumps don't do? They don't bitch. And Annabell had to bitch and get all upset afterwards, even though it was clear from the beginning that it wasn't suppose to mean anything, and then she gets fucking married! If it really meant that much to her why did she go and get married?"

I watched Lance with sad eyes as understanding came over me. "I'm sorry," I said.

"About what? Obviously she's over it if she got married right? So the problem got solved." He started rolling another cigarette.

"I know what it's like... Watching someone you love get married to someone else."

"Whoa, _what?_ First off, the concept of me being in love would have to mean I had feelings, which I don't. Second of all, Annabell isn't even my type in the _first_ place! She doesn't look a _thing_ like the Goddess Din. I have very high expectations, and frankly, Annabell would never had made the cut."

"You know," I said leaning into my chair. "The Goddess Din is suppose to be a redhead."

"Yea, so?"

"Mary just happens to have red hair."

"Oh no you fucking don't! She's your fucking problem."

"But she seems to like you a _lot._"

"I'm not blind Link. She was obvious just using me to make you jealous. Did you not notice that everything she said to me, she'd look at you for a reaction? I know what it's liked to be used. I get used all the time. And besides," he said kicking away the ashes that he had made. "Mary would come with two extra crazy family members. I can't have a family."

"I'm sure you could work something out with Zelda in order to have a family."

"I don't want a family. I told you this, Link. I do not envy you. Not only do you have to deal with Mary, but you have to deal with her crazy bitter mother. And when you're daughter gets older you're gonna have to deal with that too."

"Lana's been a pretty easy baby so far."

"Right now, all you have to deal with is crying, but soon she's gonna be talking and walking and getting in all sorts of trouble and asking for money. I never have to worry about any of that."

"Well man, I don't know what we're going to do then."

"Tree stumps. That's what I've been saying. Tree stumps are the way to go."

We were silent for another moment. "You see," I said. "That just sounds _painful._"

"Okay. If you're not into that that's cool. You know the other idea I had was just start seeing men."

I turned to look at him. "Not you, dude." He said frantically. "I have a very delicate friendship bond with you right now, that I feel like is slipping away the more I talk to you. But I'm saying in general, guys don't bitch as much as girls."

I laughed as I studied him. "Were you drinking a lot at dinner?" Not that I thought Lance might liking men was the alcohol talking, but I had never known him to be this personal.

"I can't remember," he said looking straight out in front of him. "Don't ask me that. Also, just forget this entire conversation. Forget I even _came_ here."

"Well you can come here again if you ever have another vacation."

"Thanks, man. Where I can just continually stick my foot in my mouth constantly, and have your wife throw herself at me."

"Yea I'm sorry. You don't have to come back."

"Yea, I mean, getting hit on is _so_ annoying. I wish I wasn't so Goddess damn attractive!" He said sarcastically, letting out a short laugh. We sat there in silence again while Lance smoked another cigarette.

* * *

I was looking for Zelda. I ran through a maze of stone walls and up staircase after staircase. It was always a maze. I was always looking for her. But this time, it was much more important. Zelda was pregnant, and He knew if he killed them both, now, Zelda would be gone forever.

I felt like I ran forever before I finally found her. "Zelda!" I screamed when I saw her standing, covered in blood. I wrapped my arms around her, holding her close, trying to figure out where she was hurt.

"Its dead," she said, her knees buckling and I had to keep her from falling. "The baby's dead." It wasn't something I was concerned with right now. I had to keep her alive. She was bleeding so much, but I couldn't figure out where it was coming from. I was trying to wipe it away with my hands. I couldn't even find the clothe she was wearing, everything seemed to be made of blood. And then that was all she was. She fell right in between my fingers, nothing but thick liquid.

I screamed in horror.

I woke up thrashing in my bed to catch the sight of Mary standing in the other side of the room, looking at me frightened. "Are you alright?" she asked, once she realized I was awake.

I laid back down in my sweat soaked sheets trying to catch my breath. I wanted to see her. I wanted to see Zelda at that very moment to make sure she was alright, but I knew I couldn't just rush to the castle at this hour. I searched my brain, trying to figure out if the nightmare was a strange memory that wasn't true from my past, but I couldn't remember anything like that. I can remember searching for Zelda, but she had never been pregnant before. I had never known her pregnant.

"Are you alright?" Mary repeated when I hadn't answered.

"Yeah, I'm alright." I said, turning over to my side. "It was just a dream."

"A pretty awful dream. What were you dreaming about?" She came closer to the bed.

"I don't remember," I told her.

"You cried out, 'Zelda'."

Shit.

"Zelda, as in the Queen Zelda?"

"It must have been a dream about something going wrong at work."

"But you guard the King not the Queen."

"Well it was the Queen that got hurt in my dream." Mary climbed into bed next to me. I thought she went back to sleep, but then she asked "Do you usually call the Queen, 'Zelda'?"

"I don't know, Mary. It was just a nightmare. I rather not think about it now." And with that we went back to sleep.

* * *

I came home from work to find Mary sitting by herself at the table. I thought about ignoring her. I had been trying to avoid her because our encounters either had her crying or yelling at me. I was going to walk right by her, but I accidentally caught her solemn face.

"I'm sorry, Link."

I stopped to look at her.

"I'm sorry. I told you I would never go through your things," she sniffed.

I felt my body go cold. I couldn't think of what she had found. I just knew it couldn't have been good.

She took out a small photograph she had been hiding underneath her arm and placed it on the table.

I had forgotten I had that. The edges around the photo were marred, yellow and black from water damage, almost catching on fire and whatever else it had survived through. I used to take that thing everywhere with me, no mater where I went. Though it wasn't in great shape, I had kept the image of the figure safe. She sat on her garden bench, looking up from her book, the expression of questioning worry already plastered onto her face. She looked so young there.

"This is a picture of the Queen of Hyrule," Mary stated.

"I know what it is," I said, still not taking my eyes off the little photo.

"Why do you have it?"

"Because I took it. I had a picto box and I just took it. Why does it matter?"

"Because it's the Queen!"

"So?"

"You don't just take pictures of the Queen and get away with it!"

"You already know that the Queen and I are close friends."

"And just how _close_ are you, Link?!"

I hesitated. I didn't know what to say.

"Is she the other woman?" she whispered.

"That picture was taken over ten years ago!" but that was the wrong thing to say. Instead of misdirecting her accusing, her eyes widened.

"For ten years? You've been seeing her for ten years?"

"I didn't say it was her!"

"Who is it then?"

"Why should it matter who it is? I told you my mistake."

She was silent for a moment, thinking over what i said. "If it's the Queen it would have mattered."

"Why?" I was getting angry now. This conversation didn't need to happen. She shouldn't have been going through my stuff. That photo was over ten years old! It didn't mean anything.

"Because!" She stood up angrily. "The _Queen_, Link! Do you not even realize how dangerous that is?! If you were to get caught, they would have killed you!"

"Well, good thing I didn't say it was the Queen."

"Oh don't give me that bull shit, Link! I saw the way you looked at the photograph! Don't tell me you're just friends! No one looks at a friend like that. You don't even look at me like that. Oh Goddesses!" She sat back down, putting her head in her hands. "Thank the Goddesses that you broke it off when you did."

I said nothing. Unfortunately Mary decided to look up at my guilt ridden face.

"You didn't break it off?!" She got up from her chair again and I turned around walking away. If I stood there, my face would just tell her everything anyway.

"You're still seeing her?! Link!" She grabbed my arm, but I kept walking. She squeezed my wrist, yanking my arm sharply. It hurt. I forgot how strong she was. "Link, look at me and tell me the truth."

I wasn't able to meet her gaze. I stared off into space, my whole body including my brain had gone numb. I didn't think I would be able to say anything at all.

"Are you having an affair with the Queen of Hyrule?"

"Yes."

She shoved me harshly into the wall. "How can you be so stupid, Link!"

"I don't know," I replied stupidly back, still staring off into space.

"Did you go back to her, even after you told me...?"

I didn't need to answer her question. She saw it in my face.

She let out a wail, clutching the front of my shirt. "Why?" her voice cracked. "Why would you do that? Why are you still doing it?"

"I tried... I tried to break it off.." I still couldn't face her.

"Do it now. Tell her tomorrow. Please."

I shook my head. "I can't."

"Yes you can," she cried into my chest. "Even if you don't love me enough to do it. Even if you don't love Lana enough to do it. It's not safe. If they killed you... I need you in this family."

I just kept shaking my head, "I can't. She... I have to... I have to do what she wants." I felt Mary's fingers dig into me, but it felt strange, like I was in a dream and only remembering pain rather than actually feeling it. "She's the Queen. I have to do what she wants."

"No," Mary said into my chest. "You don't have to do what she wants! She doesn't have that authority! It's against the law! Don't be afraid of her. Just leave."

I placed my hands on her arms. "No Mary. I can't."

"Why can't you?!"

"I love her."

Mary pushed herself off of me then. I felt her gaze on my face, but I still couldn't look at her.

"I'm sorry," I said and walked away from her.


	27. Chapter 27

-_Zelda_

"I mean, I know she has to choose a husband, and Alexander's high background is an excellent choice, but with his past habits I just think that maybe she should think about it more. There are many other just as noble bachelors still available. I don't know. What do you think of Alexander? He is a very charming man."

Felix only nodded at me. "You think he's a good choice?"

Felix nodded again. "Well I guess it's just me then."

A head nod from Felix. "Oh come on, now! Say something."

Nod.

And much of my day was like this, Felix nodding his head away and I was sure it was going to fall right off his body.

"Do you have your own opinion? I'm mean seriously,_ stop_ nodding!" I slapped him on the shoulder and he stilled his head, but said nothing. I was rather happy when I sent him away to go to bed.

When I woke I impatiently got dressed, hurrying my maids until I could rush to the bedroom door to open it.

I let out a sigh of relief when I saw Lance standing in the hallway looking at me. "Thank goodness you're back."

I saw his mouth start to form into the biggest grin I have ever seen.

"Oh no you don't! Stop that! Stop smiling at me like that!"

"You missed me didn't you?"

"No I did not. _I_ had a quiet peaceful day yesterday. So much easier than usual without your unnecessary comments. But I must ask, how was your vacation?"

"It was refreshing."

"Oh? So you did sleep all day."

"Nope! I hung out with some friends."

I glared at him. "Who?"

"Link and his family."

"Oh Link doesn't count!" I said dismissively and began my walking. "He's friends with everyone! He's friends with the King, and not just for political reasons, he's actually friends with that poor man... It doesn't matter how annoying or boring somebody is, he'd be friends with anyone."

"Isn't that... a good thing?"

"No, of course not. Having a friend out of pity doesn't mean he actually likes you."

"See, you have all these rules for being friends. What do you consider a _real_ friend?"

"No one. I have no friends."

"Is Link your friend?"

"I suppose so,"

"Why is he allowed to be your friend!?"

"Well obviously our relationship is very close, and since I don't know what else to call him I'm going to have to settle for friend."

"So I have to sleep with you to be your friend?"

"No," I glared at him. "I have to like you."

"Okay," Lance said. "I give up! Just keep denying that you like me. It's cool."

"Well I'm glad we've come to an understanding. Now I want your opinion," I said changing the subject, because it had been bothering me all night. "Do you think the Lady Christine should marry Lord Alexander?"

"Hell no, that's an awful idea. He's been sleeping with Mary Ann just last week. And Julie, that's not her husband's kid. That's _all_ his."

"_No!_" I gasped.

"Yep. Heard it from Annabell just the other day."

"See, I knew there was something wrong about him. Oh well, none of my business."

"That's gonna be a messy marriage."

"Good thing we don't have to deal with that."

"Yep."

I tried to not notice the extra grin on Lance's face and didn't want to think about the smile on mine. Felix would have driven me crazier than Lance ever could with his silence. It didn't make sense why, but it didn't matter anymore. I had my Lance back.

* * *

"Oh damn that man," I muttered. I just realized one of the many nobles had deliberately disobeyed me and past a law about being taxed for walking around past 2 am. Really, there was no need to tax a person for walking about, no matter how late it was. Sure, if we had an obsessive amount of crime going on around 2 am, I might have considered it, but since we did not, and we were doing fine without more taxing, there was no need to. Some little incident must have happened one night to make the noble feel he was obligated to pass the law without telling me. "Has this been publicly announced yet? Oh, of course it has. Lets just embarrass the Queen every chance we get. Go on, go fix it!" I shooed the men away, only for more men to come at me with more pressing concerns I had to deal with.

"You have a visitor that wishes to speak to you."

"Does it look like I have the time? Is it someone important? Tell them to come back another day."

"Well..." the messenger started. "She said that she refused to leave until she spoke to you. Do you want us to throw her in the dungeon if she refuses to go?"

I narrowed my eyes at him, "No, no! Of course not. Who is this woman?"

"She didn't say. She just said she knows the Hero and that you would speak to her if you knew."

I felt my body grow cold. I scanned over my list of things to do in my head. Could I afford to talk to her now? I could, I thought. As long as it wasn't hours and hours long. I started walking to the throne room without another thought, Lance following me.

As I neared the side entrance to the thrown room, and the woman became visible, my worst fears became true.

"Shit," I heard Lance swear behind me. "It's okay. I think I can handle this. You go hide, and I'll talk to her."

Instead I walked foreword to enter the room, ignoring Lance. I briskly told one of the men to announce my entrance. It appeared that everyone thought that I was going to refuse to talk to this woman. That wouldn't be very polite of me to do to the Hero's wife.

I walked up the steps to my thrown and sat down, taking my time to arrange my skirts before actually looking down at the woman's face. She was clearly upset. I was in control. I had the advantaged. The flashy announcer probably unnerved her. I hoped everything around her unnerved her, the castle, the thrown room, my presence, all were very important and screamed in contrast to Mary's plain little dress. Maybe that alone could scare her away and prevent me from dealing with her all together.

"Greetings, Mary, wife of our Hero! What brings you here on this welcomed visit?"

"You know why I'm here," she said hoarsely and rudely. Her rudeness could be another advantage. I just had to keep polite.

"I'm sorry. I can't say that I do."

She clenched her fists. "I'm here for him."

"For who?"

"For Link. I'm here to tell you to stop."

"I do not understand. Stop doing what?"

"Are you going to keep sitting up on your high throne and talk down at me, or are you going to have a real conversation with me like I'm a real person?!"

I thought about her request. She had no right to tell the Queen to get off of her throne, but I stood up anyway. I did owe the woman, though I didn't want to openly admit it, it was enough for me to walk down the steps until I was standing right before her.

"Is this better? Can we talk now?" I asked.

I watched her tremble, biting her lip and squeezing her eyes shut.

I realized too late that she had lifted her arm to slap me.

The force of it spun my head, my hair and dress flying up as I tried to regain my balance. My heart was in my throat as I head Lance somewhere behind me unsheathe a knife and the 50 or so guards that lined the wall lower their spears at the helpless girl. Even before I was finished regaining my balance, I was able to raise my arm and a force a, "Stop!" from my throat.

Lance was right beside me. If the command was a second late Mary would have been dead. I was alarmed at how quickly Lance acted. I should have been impressed, but seriously, would a girl be such a threat? An insult, yes, but not enough to kill her on the spot. It annoyed me some.

Mary cried out in her distress, grabbed onto my dress and sobbed. She was too upset to hit me again. She was so upset she could hardly stand. I wrapped my arms around her, holding her up to prevent her from dragging me to the floor.

"Take her to the medical wing," I told Lance since he was closest.

Lance pulled her away from me, but when Mary just fell to the ground it was obvious that she wasn't going to be able to walk, so Lance picked her up. She fought him, but he was much stronger than her and I followed the both of them out. The whole time, Mary would kick out and beat against Lance's face, but he kept his expression very stern and did what I asked.

Once in the medical wing, I asked one of the nurses for a glass of water and Lance placed Mary on a table. I presented her the glass, but she just knocked it to the ground.

"Stop it!" she sobbed before choking on her saliva. She began to cough and I waited patiently for her to finish. "Stop acting like you're kind! I know what you do! I know what you're doing to him!" she screamed.

She was flailing her arms so I grabbed her wrists in an attempt to keep her still, but she was stronger than I expected and I nearly hurt myself. "Mary," I said. "Calm down!"

"I know that you've been fucking my husband," she muttered to me. "I know that you don't give a shit. If people found out you'd probably find a way to blame it all on him to save your own ass, and Link would be executed and-" she started to sob so heavily that she could no longer speak.

"Mary, I would never let anything ever happen to Link," I said seriously.

"If they found out you wouldn't be able to _stop_ it! You may be the Queen, but you can't stop the law! Does the King know?"

"No," I said very quietly to her. "No one knows. It's a secret," I told her very firmly, holding her arms tightly, trying to make her understand to be quiet now. We were fairly recluse from everyone else, Lance keeping the nurses away, but I didn't want her to ruin everything with her shouting.

"Link," Mary sniffled quietly. "He says he can't stop it. That you won't let him. He has to be told what to do. He has to-" I let go of one of her arms so she could wipe her face with the back of her hand. "He can't. He doesn't know how to do it unless someone tells him to. I don't know why he's like that, but he's always been like that."

I let go of Mary slowly.

"And he has a daughter. You can't let him get killed. He needs to see her grow up. He needs to realize he has other purpose in this life, because I don't think he realizes it. He doesn't care if he gets himself killed."

I started nodding my head at her. "Okay, Mary. I'll tell him."

"You can't just tell him! You have to make him! You have to make him stop seeing you!"

"I'll make him," I promised her.

* * *

I hadn't even thought about Link's physical well being. His mental well being, yes, emotional well being, yes. Those things I had taken in consideration, though I probably hadn't protected either of them as much as I should have, but I did not even think of what would happen to Link if our secret was found out. I had always known the outcome would be terrible, but I had not actually imagined what would happen to Link. It changed everything.

I swore, that I would never watch him die, ever. I would never again let that happen.

There was no reason to wait, so I decided to do it that very evening.

I sent Link a message. I would meet him in the gardens. The gardens were private enough for us to have this conversation, but not as safe as it would have been in my bedroom chambers. If Link wanted to start an argument, he would have to keep his voice down enough so no one could hear us outside the garden walls. It would mean it would be less likely for Link to let himself get upset, to let him show emotions. If his emotions were restrained, then it would be easier to restrain mine.

I stared at one particular rock that made up the garden wall. I had all the words planned in my head. And then I had all the words I would say to each and every possible retort Link would have.

I heard his foot falls behind me and knew without an announcement that it was him. I didn't turn around to face him. I knew I wouldn't be able to do this if I turned around.

I heard him kneel. "Your Majesty?" Not Zelda. He was using formalities. His voice was weak. He knew it was coming. I placed a hand over my mouth as I tried to keep from crying. All the words I had planned to say, now I could think of none of them.

"Get up," I said. I was able to mask some of the feelings in my voice, but not all of it. "You don't have to do that."

I heard him get up.

"This... This needs to stop."

"Please turn around," I heard him whisper, but I ignored him.

"This whole idea was wrong from the start. It was too dangerous. The sneaking, the lies..."

"We were careful."

"We weren't careful enough! I could have miscalculated something, gotten pregnant, someone could have started to suspect something-"

"What happened?"

I stopped rambling. "What do you mean?"

"What happened to make you change your mind? You were telling me you wanted me to stay with you only earlier this week!"

"Mary... Mary came to visit me today."

"Fuck Mary!"

I turned around to face him then. "Fuck Mary? Mary's your wife! Can't you see you're hurting her? She came here, more concerned for your safety then she was upset over us!" I put my hand over my mouth again. I used to hate the woman, but I had no real reason to, and knowing how much she really cared for Link, I knew I could trust her to take care of him. I just had to convince Link.

"I'm sorry. I know." He rubbed his face hard. "I'll stop hurting her. I don't have to stay with her. I can divorce her."

"You can't just divorce her!" I glared at him and he returned a hard gaze back. His mouth pressed firmly into a frown. "We have to start doing the right things from now on."

He let out a breath through his nose and closed his eyes for a moment. "Alright," he said. "We'll stop having sex. I'll stop going to your room every evening. I can deal with that. We'll just be... we'll just be friends." His last sentence was hard for him to say. He knew it would be a lie as soon as he said it.

I started to shake my head. "No, Link. We have to stop everything. We have to stop all contact."

"Why?!"

"We've already tried to be just friends, and looked what happened! We can't be friends Link."

His face had gone pale, making his eyes seem darker. "So what then? You're just gonna fire me? You're just gonna ban me from the castle?"

"I can't fire you. You work for my husband."

"So how are you going to prevent us encountering?"

"I avoid my husband during the day as it is. It would be easy for us to never come across each other."

"So we're going to spend the rest of our lives just trying to avoid each other?! That's ridiculous! It doesn't make any sense. Why can't we go back to how things were? We were existing alright next to each other for a while."

"Because we have no self control."

"We have no self control?! _You_ have no self control! I only- Because I thought-" I watched him start sentence after sentence until he manged to make full ones once again, but his voice was weak and desperate as he talked. "I don't need the sex, Zelda. I'm just happy to see you. We don't even have to talk, if you don't want to. Just let me see you."

"No."

"This can't be happening," he said. Of course it was happening. It always happened, but maybe he thought if he said it out loud it would stop happening.  
He sunk to the ground in a crouching potion, his hands on his head. He was so pathetic looking that I wanted to crash onto the ground and hold him. Instead I walked calmly up to him.

"You have a daughter, Link," I told him. He did not look up at me. "Will you be a father for her? Would you do that for your Queen?"

He took my hand in answer, kissing my knuckles for a long time. I looked away, staring at a nearby tree as if I couldn't feel how warm his mouth was.

"I'd do anything for my Queen," he answered.

I felt my face tremble. If he said anything more to me, I didn't think I could continue. I would break and give in. "Goodbye, Link," I said, still staring at the tree. It was over. No more talking. I couldn't keep talking to him.

He got up, my hand still in his. When he had yet to move, I turned my gaze to his face and instantly regretting it. His eyes bore into mine as he brought my hand to his mouth again. One more kiss, and he turned around, leaving without saying a word.

Link was never good at saying goodbye.


	28. Chapter 28

_-Link_

I ran out of there. I started off walking. I was walking agonizingly slow, hardly being able to put one foot in front of the other as I left the garden. Once inside the castle my speed increased. I quickly left the palace, still keeping my pace at a fast walk. Outside, I bolted. I ran to the barn that housed Epona, stable boys getting out of my way as quickly as they could.

I didn't even bother saddling her and forget about the bridal. I didn't need it anyway. My frantic behavior was enough to get her to go, fast, in the direction I wanted to go in anyway.

Home.

Epona was running there, nervous by my behavior and seeking a place that we could be safe. That was the reason why the _horse_ was taking me home in her death sprint.

I had started running in order to escape. I had to leave Zelda as soon as possible before her presence could crush me inside out. That was why I started running, to escape.

Now I was going as fast as I could to a set destination. I needed to find Mary, the source of my current pain. What was I going to do when I found her? I had no idea. Only half form thoughts were occurring in my head.

I always felt like that. That I could only really think about what was happening at that exact moment, what I was doing as I was doing it. But now, I was moving too quickly, my brain couldn't keep up with my body.

Epona slid to a stop at the door. She had to stop or risk running right into the building. I slid myself off her, briefly feeling thankful that she wasn't wearing her saddle so I wouldn't get caught up in it and have it slow me down.

I ran to the house and flung the door open so hard that it banged loudly against the wall.

Mary screamed in fright at my entrance. I didn't know what she was doing. She was standing in the middle of the room. Maybe she had been in the middle of cleaning. I stood in the door way, huffing hard. I didn't think to breath during the entire ride over here.

"L-Link? What are you doing...?"

What was I doing!?

I searched through my half formed thoughts that I had managed to create on my way over, sewing the pieces together to try to make something that was at least somewhat coherent in my own mind.

Oh, that's right. I was going to kill her. I was going to kill my wife.

All the hurt had morphed into anger. I didn't know when it happened. Somehow I felt my anger could kill the pain.

Mary was the cause of this pain. If she hadn't gone to the castle, if she hadn't changed Zelda's mind...

Of course that was all the anger talking. I was the one that fucking told Mary about the whole thing. I was the stupid one. I deserved this.

"Link, we need to talk..."

I didn't want to talk.

I couldn't think clearly as I approached Mary in two quick strides. She tried to run from me, tried to get around me, but the fireplace blocked her and I had her up against a corner.

She let out another scream when she realized she was caught. I slammed my arms on either wall to insure she couldn't escape. She started sobbing. "Link! Link, I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

What the fuck did she think I was going to do? Hit her?

I just wanted the pain to stop, and hurting Mary wouldn't do that. I grabbed her chin, forcing her to face me instead of trying to cower away, and I crashed my mouth onto hers. It was how I avoided things, really.

I wanted some sort of comfort, something that could ease the pain inside me. I knew it wouldn't last. Maybe it wouldn't make a difference, but it couldn't hurt to try.

Mary cried out in surprised when I kissed her. I kissed her crazily, without logic. She grabbed onto me because otherwise I would have just pushed her down into the corner and onto the ground. I expected her to push me away. I just showed up at the house like a mad man, and attack her. Real Mary wouldn't have let someone do that to her.

But real Link wouldn't have thrown himself at her either.

My breath came out dangerously close to a sob.

No. I wasn't going to fucking cry like some kid. I placed my mouth back on hers, turning any sort a cry into a moan instead. I tried to relieve the tension in my jaw by forcing it against hers. All my muscles had tightened up. I pushed them all against her. She was soft.

I wasn't soft. I still had all my equipment on and was pushing the buckles of all my straps into her. I let her take then off. It was most likely hurting her.

The sound of my sword crashing to the floor startled me, and I grabbed onto her, reinforcing the crazy need I had.

"Link..." she murmured, somehow managing to free her mouth from mine. "Link? Are you crying?"

No, I wasn't crying. I hid my face in her neck, sinking my teeth into her gently, distracting her. She made a moan. I found the buttons on the back of her dress.

"Link. We can't. My mother-"

I picked her up and brought her to the bedroom, kicking the door close and having the both of us fall on the bed. Mary tore at my clothes, caught up in the frenzy I had produced, and I made sure she was completely naked before kissing her again. I never really acted like this with Mary. I had always tried to be more of a gentleman when I was in bed with her. Now I felt more like a sick animal. Her voice and cries sounded foreign to me, but that was alright because Mary was soft and willing. It didn't matter that she was the wrong person. It didn't matter that I didn't love her when I should. It was okay, because she was willing anyway.

* * *

I woke up before Mary, and left the house. It didn't matter that I got to the castle early. There was no sign of Zelda. There was no way that I could catch her by surprise. Zelda was smarter than me. I followed the King around, and for awhile, I almost thought of it as a normal day.

But as the day started to end, I had to remind myself not to go to her room. I almost thought about ignoring myself and going anyway. But I did not. Zelda did not want to see me.

I left. It would have been earlier than normal because I had not seen Zelda. I didn't want to go home. Mary would try to talk to me. She would ask me more questions.

I roamed the fields with Epona. I remembered a time when I thought the land could go on forever. Since then the sea had swallowed up most of the it. Hyrule was still a rather large place, but it had been reduced to an island. Eventually the land ended, and with each decade, Hyrule grew smaller as more people came and towns grew bigger. You could get to anywhere within a day now, with all the trains they had.

The loftwings were all gone. The fairies were all gone. The Mogmas, Minish, Kokiri, Zora, Sheikah, Gerudo, Rito, they were all gone.

I stopped at a piece of train track that now marred the land, like a scar. I knelt down to the man made metal. I found trains interesting. They could go so fast with just a little piece of coal, no magic or anything. I used to work with trains. I did so in a past life. My family must have stayed with trains for a while, because I remember working there as a kid. No parents, no family, just shoveling coal and trying to make a few rupees so I could get something to eat. I couldn't remember how I got there. I could never remember. Too many traumatic experiences blocked from my mind.

Epona heard it before I did. She flicked her ears to the side and gave a nervous whinny before I saw the train tracks start to vibrate. I stood up when I heard the train whistle. The six o'clock train was making its way into town.

Trains were big. Big and fast.

There was a small sort of muffled voice in the back of my mind that told me that I should probably get out of the way, but a more stubborn, spiteful voice told me to stay right where I was.

Epona started to paw the ground nervously. If I took one more step... If I could just stand on the tracks... it would be so easy...

I had never outright killed myself before. You could say maybe I thought it was cowardly. Suicide was cowardly. But the real reason was really because it was just a hassle. How to do it, where to do it, when to do it, how much it would hurt, how long would it take; It was a hassle. It was just so much easier to let it happen naturally. Well, as natural as going out and looking for trouble was. As natural as bothering things that should have just been left alone.

The train was getting closer. Epona whinnied again, half rearing, but reluctant to leave me. I was rooted to the spot, frozen.

It would be so easy.

The train raced past my face, screaming, my clothes and hair whipping around me. I didn't flinch, though I think Epona nearly had a heart attack, but I wasn't afraid. I felt myself sway a little, the force of the train going by me so fast slightly knocking me off balance and I briefly wondered if I would lean in too close and get swept underneath the wheels. I wouldn't have mind. I wouldn't have cared. I wasn't scared.

Courage isn't the absence of fear. I had always had fears. Fear, of pain, dying, failing, but when they started to leave me, when I didn't care either way for anything, I realized I should be worried. But I wasn't worried either, because I didn't care.

The train ended and carried on its way to town. Epona pranced behind me and I thought I should take her home so she could eat dinner.

I came home. Mary was arguing with her mother, probably something about me, but I couldn't hear the words they said. Their fight was so heated, they didn't notice me enter the house. I walked right by them into the bedroom, glad I didn't have to talk. I knew Mary would want to talk.

Lana was crying in her crib, forgotten and ignored, upset by the loud noises. I picked her up, holding her close before leaning up against a wall. I gently wiped her crying face with the blanket she was wrapped in.

"Shh..."I tried my voice, but it was thick. "I'm sorry." She quieted down to a whimper as I touched her so I continued to stroke her small head with my thumb. "I know we fight a lot in this family." I stood there in the dark room, holding my daughter, listening to incoherent screams in the other room. "I want you to know," I said again, "that none of this is your fault. You'll probably grow up thinking that." I wondered if Mary would remember to tell her that, during all the screaming and fighting and me screwing things up the way I knew it was going to, if she would remember to tell Lana that it wasn't her fault. If she forgot, maybe I could tell her. Maybe I could be around and tell her.

I wondered if Lana could ever be happy. I brought her into such a broken, hateful family. She had stopped crying and fell into a peaceful sleep in my arms. At least I was able to get her to stop crying. Maybe I could stick around for that too. To keep her from crying and maybe be happy.

I can't say I had much faith in myself, but I decided that I wanted her happy. I had always wanted Lana to be happy, but I decided that I wanted to be the one that did it. Even if all I could do was hold her while her mother fought with her grandmother. At least that was something.

I've must have fallen asleep standing up because Mary was suddenly in front of me. I let out a startled breath, but was able to keep my voice from starting. I didn't want to wake Lana. "How'd you get in here with out me noticing?" she grinned, talking Lana from my arms, careful not to wake her as she put the child back in the crib.

Lana had been keeping my chest warm. I felt cold and exposed without her. I wanted her back, if only to keep Mary from screaming at me. She couldn't scream if I had Lana in my arms. But the screaming really wasn't what I was dreading. It was the talking.

"I didn't even know you came home. How long have you been standing in here in the dark?"

I didn't answer. I didn't know.

"Listen, we need to talk about things."

I started to feel queasy and I didn't quite understand why. I knew I didn't want to talk, but the actual action shouldn't make me want to puke.

"Last night," she looked away shyly away from me. "Last night was kind of wonderful."

"Was it?" I mumbled. I felt my defenses start to pick up. Better to keep my mouth shut so I wouldn't get angry. Lana was sleeping.

"But... But I know, that wasn't you. You weren't making love to me. You were making love to her."

I glared at her. I didn't want to argue with her. Even she started saying ridiculous things. Even if she was right.

"I didn't know she would do it so soon. I just had wanted it to stop. I'm sorry I did what I did and it happened like that."

She looked at me as if I was going to respond. I wasn't going to say anything. I didn't want to take her apology. I didn't want to give mine. I didn't want to do anything. I looked at Lana. I felt better when I looked at her rather than Mary. Mary just reminded me of everything.

"I know it's hard for you. I know that it hurts. I don't want to say I'm proud of you or anything, because I still don't understand why you would have married me and started a family if you felt the way you did. Maybe you're lonely and I guess I'm lonely too. So I guess that's a reason. It's just... I'm glad, because, even if you were force to stop it or whatever happened, you still came back to this house..." she covered her hand with her mouth as she bit back her tears. "I didn't know if you would come home again." I wondered, if she somehow knew if I was at the train tracks when it happened.

"If you could... If you could just do me one thing..." I said. I didn't want her to start crying, like my life had meaning, like I was important. I wasn't important. "I know I don't deserve it, but I won't be able to stay. Just please, don't ever talk about this again."

I needed these memories to be pushed away in my mind. I couldn't function. Mary wanted to talk about things, I couldn't talk. If these wounds were continually picked at, the wouldn't heal. I would break. I would run.

"It never happened," she agreed.

I gripped the railing of the crib. Mary could agree to forget about them. Now all I had to do was forget about them, too. I'd take care of Lana and forget. I'd be okay if I kept doing things.


	29. Chapter 29

_-Zelda_

I sat.

I sat on the garden bench for a long time. It didn't matter how much time I was wasting. I had been wasting time for months, dilly dallying my time away with Link, when I could have been doing more important things, like reorganizing the historical records, or checking the progress of other projects, keeping an eye on the train companies, or producing an heir.

Funny how that kept getting pushed back to the end of my list.

There were so many other things for me to do. Now I should have plenty of time to do them. I could have been doing something right now, but no. I stayed where I was. I needed time. I should need time to recover.

Recover from what? From being myself? Was what I just did very hard? It wasn't easy, but it wasn't as difficult as I had imagined it to be. I've had practice after all. I just had to put on my queen face and proceed, take action, settle the problem. It was what I did.

And I was cruel. I had created the problem. I had created a problem that I knew I could fix. It was like the exhilaration of a small girl knocking down a tower of blocks so she could re-stack them. I knew from the beginning how messy and terrible the problem I was creating would be. Was it fun? Yes. Did I enjoy it? Yes.

I knew I would hurt him, but the consequence didn't concern me nearly as much as it should have. In the beginning, I didn't care at all. When I first saw his dopy face in this life, when he first asked me if I was alright, my first thought was to hurt him. I had been tired up by my captures you see, so at the moment I thought my hatred and rage was pure instinctual when I kicked him in the stomach, but there was far more going on in what I felt for the beautiful man.

I hated him, simply put. I hated him for making me feel the way I did. I wasn't suppose to have feelings! I wasn't allowed them. Or so it was supposedly thought.

I was inhuman after all.

The memories of the actual Goddess, Hylia were blurred and fuzzy. A mere mortal would not be allowed to have such divine thoughts, but feelings, feelings I shouldn't have, lingered.

I remembered the great honor it was for the Sister Goddesses, to give a lower goddess such as myself, the task to watch over the Hylians. Oh, yes how I praised them, for I was no where near as great as they. What an honor.

What a punishment.

I was too weak, and not indifferent enough. I cared too much for my charge. I was told I couldn't care over every little insignificant peril that happened in the world. They were like ants, in an ant hill, destined to drown by a stream of rain water, yet I would put my foot down to block the water. I would dig into the ground with my toe, so the water would pool and leave the ants alone. How silly of me, they would say. Ants always drown in the rain. It never matter how much you liked one in particular. They all drowned.

And I was punished. It was a lesson I imagined. The Goddesses are always trying to teach lessons.

I watched the mortals die. I watched Demise kill them. He did it to get to me, really. Of course he wanted the Triforce, jealous that I had been entrusted with it instead of him, but he killed the Hylians to get to me.

And I had a favorite. I kept it hidden, a secret of my favoritism so Demise wouldn't crush him. I had loved the boy, with the bright blue eyes and the pale blond hair. He would always look up to the sky. He wanted to be up in that sky. I loved him for his purity and innocence. Oh yes, he had been my favorite. I had loved all my people, but he had been my favorite. I had kept my sercet from Demise, but I wasn't clever enough to hide it from the Goddesses. Another lesson I would have to learn.

When I constructed my plan to stop Demise, I had picked the boy on favoritism alone, just like the Goddesses knew I would. My fragile child would be no match for the great demon, but the Goddesses convinced me otherwise. They told me I could make him stronger, that he could become a great hero. So I broke his innocents, beating hatred into his soul so he would be strong, so he could survive. And even after I had destroyed his life, tore him away from his family, had his friends turn on him and imprison him, he still loved this country, he still loved his people and he loved his goddess. He was perfect. He was ready.

But it had killed him.

I had slaughtered the lamb I had grown to love. I had used him to save the others. The sisters had been very proud of me. The sacrifice of one to save an entire race, oh how very wise they said.

But I was not pleased.

Guilt. An emotion that I had never felt before. Goddesses may feel pity, may feel anger and perhaps feel adoration for their creations, but not guilt. Guilt was a mortal feeling. Longing, wanting and this unbearable sadness that had actually brought tears to my eyes for the first time; all lowly emotions unfit for a goddess.

I would not let him die. I would not let him rest in peace, not let him rise to the heavens like he had so badly wished as a child. I let him be reborn, in order for him to perhaps live a happy life. Or at least I originally attended that, but I found that I had needed him for more purposes.

"You use me as you will, just like these people," he had said to me. I remember that clearly for some reason. He said those words exactly. He had used them as a sort of accusation, but I had taken it as an offer. What did it matter? I was going to use him whether or not he granted me permission. He was my little lamb to use. My little lamb to sacrifice.

And the Goddesses approved. He was useful. He would be reborn. As long as the Goddesses deemed him fit and needed. Forever.

"Your Majesty?" I broke from my daze and found Lance watching me somewhat uncomfortably. "It's after midnight."

"Oh. You can retire, Lance."

"You know I can't leave you here unattended."

"Of course." I stood up and let Lance take me back to my room.

The next day I was very busy, and the day after that I was busy again. I kept being busy. I was so busy that I didn't even think about Link. He hadn't been needed for anything I was doing so why should I think of him? I didn't feel sad, because there was no reason too. I didn't cry because crying was unnecessary. And just like that, I was able to forget him entirely. Just like that.

Heartless. Inhuman. Functional.


	30. Chapter 30

_-nine years later-_

_-Link_

"Link, look at this."

I stared at Mary as she held a piece of fabric before me.

"Do you see this?"

"Yes?"

"It's filled with holes!"

"Oh." Lana, a flash of red hair ran around me once before disappearing out the door, distracting me from Mary.

"The moths have been relentless!"

"What?"

"The curtains, Link. The months are eating the curtains."

"Can't you just mend them?"

"I've been mending them! Look at them! They've been mended so much that the original curtain is hardly even there anymore-Lana no sticks in the house!"

"It's not a stick! It's a sword!"

"Out of the house!" She turned back to me. "We need new curtains. Go into town and buy some."

"Can I go?!"

"If you take that stick out of the house!"

"Dad!" Lana grabbed my hand and started leading me out of the house while I was still trying to figure out exactly why Mary couldn't just mend the curtains. "I'll get Epona all ready and everything!"

"Make sure you get nice ones!" Mary yelled after me. "I don't want cheap curtains."

I was always getting yelled at. Yelled at by Mary, yelled at by Felix. I guess I fogged out the sound. I dulled everything around me. If I payed attention, I'd get angry. Like the fact that I had only just gotten home, only just got Epona unsaddled, and now Mary was asking me to go back to town. That would anger me, if I didn't live in this fog.

The fogginess of my mind cleared somewhat at the familiar feeling of being tugged about by Lana. Life had grown dull, boring and cold, but Lana's innocence was familiar. Her beaming face had a sense of hope and excitement for adventure, even if the adventures were simple, like climbing a tree or building a fort or going to town.

That small little girl had so much energy, retrieving each item for me with such enthusiasm. She could even carry the saddle all on her own, though it was difficult for her, sometimes tripping over the stirrups. She wouldn't let me help her until she reached the horse and I had to throw it on Epona's back. I guess it was a trait she had picked up from her mother.

Simple things that could make you happy, I sometimes forgot they existed. Especially everyday, spending all those hours at the castle. I would forget, and then Lana would remind me what it was like to be a child again. Not that I ever had much of a childhood, but there was some sort of thrill from being young that had disappeared.

And I loved Lana for her thrill. I loved her adventurousness, her mischievousness and her innocence and I would buy her gifts whenever I had a chance. I would teach her something whenever I had the time. I tried to make up for the time that I couldn't be with her, when I had to go to the castle. I felt like I should always be with her. I always wanted to be with her.

Lana always let out a cry of joy when I lifted her up into the saddle of the big horse. She looked even smaller when sitting on Epona all by herself.

"Come on Daddy! You know how Mama gets when you take too long."

"Hold on, Daddy's getting old," I heard something crack as I mounted the horse with a groan. I was tired. I was always tired.

"Can I hold the reins?" I let her, more comfortable that I was able to hold onto her instead. Epona was a large height for her to fall, though she had never fallen off the horse before. I still worried.

Lanna was very serious when it came to riding Epona. I could see her concentrating to keep her hands still so not to bother the horse's mouth. Being still wasn't always easy for Lana, but she'd do anything for that horse. In fact, I had used it as a bribe, telling her I'd take her riding if she finished her vegetables, or cleaned her room. She had a natural good seat and was serious in her riding lessons. It was probably time for her to get her own horse.

"So Lana, if you could have your very own horse, what would your dream horse be?"

"Epona's my dream horse!"

I laughed. "Epona huh? Well Epona's getting up there in years. Wouldn't you want a younger horse that you could jump and gallop around with?"

Lana gasped and turned around in the saddle to glare at me. "You can't sell Epona for a younger horse!"

I laughed at her again, turning her back around because she had accidentally stopped Epona with a small tug on the reins. "No, I was going to get you a younger horse and keep Epona to myself."

"Oh." She paused, thinking about that. "Or, you could get a new young horse and give Epona to me!"

"Well I don't know about that. Epona's my dream horse, too."

But I thought about it anyway on the way to the market. We dismounted in front of the stop and I took Epona's reins and gave her a hard look over. I had kept her in great shape. She had at least a good five more years in her that she could be ridden. She could certainly do a few small jumps for Lana and keep up a canter. I was just slightly reluctant. Epona was healthy, but she wouldn't live forever and if Lana had gotten another horse to share a bond with, the pain of Epona's passing may be lessened.

Epona studied me as I studied her, ears pricked in my direction, neck slightly arched, and she really didn't look like an old horse at all. She lipped my shoulder, and sank her teeth into it, a habit that I should have trained out of her a long time ago. It hurt a little, but I always let her do it anyway. It was how she showed her affection sometimes, but somehow, the horse had known never to bite Lana. She knew Lana was more delicate and precious. She even watched her feet when Lana was grooming her, like a foal underfoot. A younger horse might not be smart enough to understand. A younger horse was more likely to act up and get Lana hurt.

I patted Epona. "You know what Lanna?"

"Hmm?"

"Epona's yours now." I handed her the reins.

Her eyes widened. "Wha...?"

"Yep. She's all yours. I'm going to have to borrow her to take me to work, if that's all right with you. Just until I find another good horse."

"THANKYOUDADDY!" She flung her arms around me, and I couldn't help but smile.

"Go tie your horse up." She did it with enthusiasm, her face beaming in that way I loved.

"I got a horse!" she told a stranger on the street.

I took her hand. "Don't go bothering people," I said a little embarrassed and took her into the fabric shop. "Okay, curtains. What color curtains."

"Blue."

"Really? I was kinda thinking brown."

She made a face at me. "Brown is an ugly color."

I made a face back at her. "It shows the dirt less. Epona's brown."

"Epona's red! Like my hair."

"I guess your right, but brown would hide the dirt more."

"Momma said she wanted blue."

"Really?"

"Yea, she said she wanted blue. It's a prettier color."

"But your mother hates cleaning the curtains, and if they're blue they're going to be covered in dirt before the week's over."

She shrugged. "She said she wanted blue. And you know how she gets."

I sighed. "Okay, but if she complains about the dirt, I'm blaming you."

* * *

Lana wanted to throw a rupee in the town's fountain, but I grabbed her shoulder. "Wait, hold up."

Fancy large creamed colored horses were prancing down the street, pulling an equally fancy carriage. The streets were crowed, people pushing each other in order to get out of the way, so I held on tightly to Lana to make sure I wouldn't loose her.

"Make way for the Queen!'

My head immediately snapped up. The word, 'Queen' was one of the words that tended to start anxiety attacks for me. Most times, I could usually keep it together. Sometimes, I couldn't. I looked at the carriage window, not expecting to see anything. In most cases, the Royals tried to avoid the windows. They always tried to keep to themselves to keep all the fuss down.

It was by chance, that I happened to catch her eye.

Our eyes locked. Her's widened slightly. As the carriage went by, she turned a little in her seat, but the angle of the window soon took her out of view.  
I felt like I was about to faint. For nine years I hadn't seen that face. She had done a great job evading me, but she hadn't succeeding in disappearing from me forever. In the beginning, I had tried writing her letters. I'd give them to Lance. He told me she wouldn't read them. It wouldn't do any good. Eventually I gave up on that. I knew her daily schedule, though she had tried to change it up to avoid me. Every evening as I was leaving work, I knew she went down to the temple to pray. I'd watched the back of her cloaked figure when she didn't know I was there. Sometimes I'd stay to watch. In the early morning before work, I could hear the sound of a harp coming from one of the windows of the castle. I didn't know what room it was, but if I was early, I'd sit there and listen.

But this was the first time that I had seen her face. It didn't look any different from my memory. Timeless. Beautiful like always.

Even after she was long gone, her eyes bore into mine. It was all I could see. No market place, no people, no buildings, just her eyes. I didn't realize I had stopped breathing.

"Dad! Daddy! Dad let go! You're doing it again." I was holding Lana's collar and it look like she was attempting to crawl out of her dress to escape.

"What?" I let her go and she hurried over to the fountain where Epona was tied.

"You were doing it again. You were sleep standing." That's what she called it anyway. "Do you need a potion?" She used the fountain as a step stool to reach Epona's saddle bag.

"No." I shook my head trying to remember what I was doing.

"Do you need the emergency whiskey?" she asked in a rather loud whisper.

"No, I'm okay." Besides, Mary would smell it on me and get mad.

The carriage was heading back to the Castle. Zelda had gone somewhere today. Maybe she had to visited another ruler on an important matter. Maybe there was a conflict. I wondered if everything was okay, if maybe she needed-

"Dad!" Lana was leaning over Epona, holding the whiskey flask in my face. "You're still doing it."

"Oh."

She shook it. "I think you need it. You don't look good."

I took the flask from her and took a very quick drink if only to please her, and I did start to gain the feeling back in my legs. "Thanks." I gave it back to her. "Don't tell your mother."

"Of course not. She sends me to Grandma's when you guys fight, you know."

* * *

"I've been thinking about those curtains."

"Uh-huh," I was concentrating on the dish I was washing.

"They're actually nice looking."

"I_ think_ that's a compliment."

"But blue will show the dirt more."

I sighed, setting the plate back into the water and waited for it.

"Maybe we should have gotten brown. I hate cleaning the curtains."

"I could clean them," I said.

"What's that suppose to mean?"

There was a loud thunk noise that made Mary cry out, and the both of us spun around to the direction of the sound.

The bedroom door was open and I could only barely see what looked like a chain with a hook at the end of it, embedded into the wall. I nearly had a heart attack when I realized what it was and thought maybe I would be too late. "LANA LET GO!" I cried out so loud that Mary jumped again, and the other end of the hookshot slammed into the wall.

"What the hell is that!?" Mary and me rushed into the bedroom. Lana was standing on the other side of the room, her hands still outstretched and open from letting go of the hookshot. "What the hell is that!?" Mary cried again even more hysterical.

I took the hookshot, yanking it out of the wall. It left behind a small hole.

"I'm sorry!" Lana said quickly. "I didn't know!"

Once Mary realized that the strange contraption was mine, which should have been quite obvious since I was the only one with strange contraptions, she turned her glare to me. "That's it. That's the last straw, Link! You keep letting her play with you weapons like they're _toys!_"

"I know, I'm gonna talk to her."Lana still looked prettified so I grabbed her around the middle and held her under my arm, while the other still held the hookshot.

"That slingshot, the bow! She does this because of you! She's going o kill herself because you make her think it's okay!"

"I know. I'm going to take her outside and teach her a lesson. And to punish her. By making her do something unpleasant. That's also safe. But will teacher her a lesson." I backed out of the house, spilling out words, Mary glaring at me the entire time. I didn't feel safe until I was in the barn. It had been build since we moved here.

I set Lana on the ground, her face bright red, mostly from it hanging upside down from me holding her.

"You're in trouble." I told her.

"Mama, told me to dust the bedroom, and I was dusting the bedroom! And then you're drawer was open, so I was just dusting over it, and THAT thing was _really_ dusty so I just picked it up to dust it. I didn't know if you squeezed that little thing inside of it it would do that..."

I gave her a glare that told her just how unimpressed I was with her story. She looked away down at the floor.

"You're never going to touch this without doing it correctly again."

"Right."

"That means...?"

"Don't ever touch it again."

"Don't ever use it incorrectly again."

"Wait, huh?"

I knelt down. "Come over here, Lana." I always felt teaching was a better way to stay safe than trying to avoid danger all together. It was probably what Mary and me argued about most, now with the whole Zelda thing in the past, how to raise Lana was the new subject. "You're hand is suppose to go in here, and squeezing this handle, well, you already know what that does."

She nodded her head.

"If you stop squeezing it, it retracts, and depending what the hook embeds into, you either go to it, or it goes to you. Then if you twist it, the hook releases it's self from whatever it's embedded into. If you keep squeezing the handle, it will retract, so you have to lessen your grip if you want it to stay put. Don't," I looked at her in the eye, "use this when I'm not with you."

"Which will be never," she frowned. "You're at work all the time."

I frowned back at her. "You wanna play with my weapons or not?"

She grinned that charming grin at me.

"And only use it when there's a nice safe pile of hay to land on."

Lana looked around the barn. "You mean like that one?"

"Like that one." The hay pile was frequently abused by us. I had tired a rope in the barn so she could swing herself into it. It was fun. I myself would even do it with her. Mary didn't do things like that anymore. I put the hookshot on her arm and helped her aim at one of the rafters. "You see that little light? It's coming from the hookshot. It helps you aim. When you're ready, squeeze the handle, but only once."

She squeezed the handle, and the force of the hookshot shooting sent her stumbling back a step, but she still managed to hook the rafter. I tugged on it once to make sure it was in there good, though it had never failed me in the past.

"Now squeeze again, and when you get to the rafter, twist to release, and you should fall into the hay. If you don't twist you're gonna be stuck up there and I might leave you there all night."

Before I was even done talking she squeezed again, and her body was ripped away from her spot. She screamed in excitement and for a brief moment I worried she wouldn't be able to hold on.

But Lana tended to have a knack for things. I really shouldn't have been surprised.

She landed in the hay, gracefully, hookshot still in hand. "This is the best thing ever, Daddy!"

"And what's the last rule?" I asked her.

"Never tell Mama."

* * *

I was uneasy. I couldn't remember what I had been dreaming about and I didn't know what woke me, but when I opened my eyes to see another set of blue eyes starting me down I couldn't help but gasp and jump back in fright. I tried to ease my racing heart when I realized it was Lana.

"Daddy?" she whispered. "There's moblins in my room."

I rested back down on the mattress. "Mama can handle the moblins tonight," I said.

"No Daddy! They'll eat her. You have to do it."

I opened one eye to look at her and she stared back at me very seriously. It was quite obvious that the both of us knew that there were no moblins in Lana's room, but trying to argue that with her was useless. Besides, I knew what it was like to have nightmares, too, so I dragged myself from bed.

Mary didn't stir. She had trained herself somehow to not be bothered at night. I guess she thought all night problems were my job, since all day problems were usually hers.

"Hold my hand," Lana told me. "That way the moblins can't get you." I held her hand and she led me to her room.

"I don't see any moblins," I told her.

"They went away when I left the room." She took me to her bed, and we both crawled in. I wrapped my arm around her and made myself comfortable.  
"Don't go to sleep yet, Daddy!"

"I'm not a sleep," I groaned.

"Good, because they might come back." She clutched her little hands to my arm. "We have to wait."

I groaned in answer.

"What should we do to pass the time?" she asked.

"Close our eyes and pretend to sleep."

"No, Daddy. Then we can't see when they come back!"

I chuckled a little. It was worth a shot. "Well what do you think we should do?"

"Maybe," she said. "If you tell a story about the Hero, it'll scare the moblins away!"

"Okay,"

"But not one too scary."

"Okay," I laughed.

"And not one sad either."

"Sad? Have any of my stories been sad?" I peered down at her. She was using my arm to hide most of her face so all I could see were her large eyes.

"Sometimes," she said.

"How so?"

"Well like, the Hero always has to say goodbye to the Princess at the end. They never get married or anything."

"Married?" I sat up. "You're too young to be thinking about marriage." She stuck her tongue out at me. "Besides, what makes you feel like the Hero and the Princess should get married for?"

"They love each other," she said simply.

I bit back the painful lump that the statement gave me and ignored it. Then I gave her a playful squeeze and laid back down, covering her with the blanket. "Says who?"

"Says me," she said fighting with the blanket.

"Well the Hero and the Princess are just friends and it's gonna stay that way."

"Why?" she pouted.

"What do you mean why? That's just the way it is. I don't make this stuff up, you know."

"Mama says you do."

"Mama's lying."

"She says that you make up this stuff because fairies don't exist."

"What? She did not say that!"

"She did. She said that there's no such thing as fairies _or_ moblins. That's why I know the moblins are gonna eat her because they're mad that she doesn't believe in them!"

"Well good thing I'm here then. I'll protect her from all those moblins."

"And we're find a fairy, too, right Dad?"

"Yea, we'll find ourselves a fairy."

"So tell me a story."

"I thought you didn't like my stories."

"I like the ones with Princess Zelda," she admitted. "She's my favorite."

"Okay. I'll tell one about Princess Zelda."

"And how she helps the Hero."

"Of course. Remember how Princess Zelda had to disguise herself as a Sheikah?"

Lana nodded.

"Well she had to go through seven years of hard training. Her trainer was her former nurse maid, Impa, who was the last of the Sheikah, a race of warriors who hid in the shadows."

* * *

Eventually, it seemed that Lana had fallen asleep. Usually I fell asleep right after if not sometimes before, but I was bothered now. I was bothered because even a nine year old girl thought Zelda and I should be together. Of course she was only nine. She didn't understand why we couldn't.

But I still couldn't sleep.

"Daddy!"

I leapt back again. _Holy shit, I swore she was asleep._

"Daddy, I had a dream."

"Yea?" I said still trying to catch my breath.

"Yea, I had a dream that I rescued Princess Zelda and there were moblins and I shot them with an arrow."

"Oh, yea? Did you get 'im?"

"Yea, I got him. I think I could fight moblins."

"I'm sure you could."

"And we could both protect Mama _and_ Princess Zelda"

"Alright, then. We'll protect them. But right we have to go to sleep or we won't have enough energy to protect them." I kissed her forehead. "That's your goodnight kiss, so no more waking up."

She kissed my cheek. "That's yours."

"Love you."

"Love you too, Daddy."

And with that I could fall asleep with.


	31. Chapter 31

An: This is a reply to Sarah. She asked why Mary doesn't think fairies and Moblins are real, and if people know that Link and Zelda are reincarnated,for they call Link, 'Hero.' There has always been legends of past Heros, but the details of the legends have become lost over time. Zelda keeps track of them in her library, but no one is allowed to go in her library, so that's really just for her. Also, because of the multiple time lines, and Link going back in forth of time in general, a lot of that stuff 'never happened' in history. Also, at this time, Hyrule hasn't seen much magic. Zelda still knows a lot of magic, but common people haven't seen much of it for a few generations, and after having more normal nonmagical lives, it's easy to think that these legends are just legends

Zelda's decedents are always named Zelda so sometimes it's hard to know when a reincarnated Zelda has come a long. The reincarnated Zelda usually has some magical abilities as a child and is more mature for her age, but unless there's a Hero too, one might not be able to tell.

But then Link comes along and rescues her from these bandits. This kid has no history, is good at everything and calls himself 'Link.' No one ever really named him, he just sort of named himself, which is what I came up with in order to explain why he's name has always been Link. The Mage sees this, and knows they are the reincarnations, because that's basically his job; to know things like this when the Hero and Zelda are too young to know. So he tells everyone Link is the Hero, makes a HUGE stink about it, and everyone plays along with the tradition. Do they really think he's a reincarnated hero? No, But he's good at things, he's charming, nice to look at and he goes around the country helping people. He becomes a celebrity based off of a legend. Kind of like how actors become super famous when they're not actually the characters they play. So that's how most people see him.

In about two more chapters, a lot of stuff gets explained, but I don't know if ALL of that gets explained so I thought I'd clear some things up. That's the problem when I decide to start writing in the MIDDLE of my story instead of in chronological order...

_-__Zelda_

"Where is he?" I asked Lance.

"Probably in his study." Lance answered.

"Oh, he's always in his study!" I rolled my eyes before storming away to my husband's study. I gave a quick head nod to Felix, though it didn't seem like he noticed, before giving the door a knock. "Darling? We need to talk."

The door cracked open and my husband peered out with one eye. "Is this really the time, Dear?"

"Yes, it's really the time! Come out of there right now!"

"Well you see, Dear, it'll be inconvenient."

"Oh, Great Goddesses! Are you masturbating in there?!"

"No. Dear, you know if I had any sort of urge I'd go find you, what, with my recent erectile dysfunction, and how rare it-"

"Oh, never mind, just come out of there this instance!"

"Just a moment!" He closed the door and I heard him clinker with a few things before he eventually came out and closed the door suspiciously behind him. I opened my mouth to ask, then thought better of it.

"As you know, Herkinson has been requesting audiences with me."

"Lord Herkinson," Lance corrected because he knew it bothered me.

"I'm not calling him lord! He's not the lord of anything!"

"What is Lord Herkinson lord of?" asked my husband to Lance.

"He's lord of the smallest island east off the coast. The island didn't really have a name before, but he's calling it Herkinson's Island," answered Lance.

"Oh, I didn't realize we had a neighboring kingdom so close to Hyrule."

"It's not a kingdom!" I cried. "That land belongs to Hyrule. It's not something he can just take. But until I find the document that says the exact borders of Hyrule, I can't prove it."

"Is that island important? Is there anything on it?"

"No," I said hesitantly.

"Well I understand that we can't just give it away. If he was offering to pay for it, well than that's-"

"Well, he might have mentioned something about buying it from us, but that is all beside the point! The point being-"

"Basically, he keeps hitting on her so she dislikes him and won't give him the worthless island no matter how much of his fortune he gives her," interrupted Lance.

"That's not the point either!"

"I'm just trying to explain to people how your crazy works. See, if they try to understand you, you become more likable."

"The point," I said, ignoring Lance. "is that Herkinson has tired of speaking with just me and asks why you're never around for these meetings."

"Well did you give the usual excuse?" my husband asked in a panic.

"Dear, it's impossible for you to be out hunting even close to the amount of times I say you are. He knows you sleep somewhere in the castle."

"I'm not very good at talking to these types of people, Zelda."

"I know, Dear. But I'll be with you and we'll come up with all the answers to his questions before he asks them."

"Um... okay."

"Like how that island is just not for sale."

"Right, right."

"And if the heir issue comes up, like it always does-"

"I have erectile dysfunction."

"No, no! Don't go telling people that!"

"You see, Zelda, I just feel so much better when we're honest about things."

"Wait, are you telling people this?"

"Well, you know I don't talk to most people, but I tell Felix, and Link, and-"

"Oh! You-!" I tried to keep myself from cursing. "People talk, you know?"

"I know people talk. But what else are we-"

"We'll tell him I'm already pregnant." Both my husband and Lance looked at me. Felix stayed his head fixed where it was.

"But you're not, right?" asked my husband.

"No, but I should be soon._ Right?_"

"Right," he replied nervously.

"Which brings us to the other matter I wanted to discuss. You need to start sleeping in the bed with me."

"But, oh Zelda..." he pouted, shaking his head. "Haven't I-?"

"Oh yes, you've been very good about coming back to the bedroom during your time of need, but with all that walking you have to do, you always lose it. Wouldn't it make much more sense to have you already be in the bed with me?" I told him sweetly, trying to convince him like a mother would a child.

"It's just that... I get so nervous."

"I know, Dear."

"Maybe... Maybe if you close your eyes."

"I'll close my eyes and do whatever you want." I offered him my hand. "Now come to bed."

"Now?"

"Yes, now!"

"Well, you see I have-"

I sighed very audibly and glared at him.

"Which can wait," he whimpered in defeat.

"Good." I took his arm and started leading him to the bedroom. "The last thing I wanted to talk about was Herkinson's alarming interest in me."

"Interest in you?"

"He's sent me lots of gifts."

"Oh, how kind of him."

"Sucking up I presume."

"Well he does want that island."

"Several horses that I don't have use for."

"Well I love horses."

"You can have them! I'm sure they'd be useful for hunts. Excellent condition. He's also given me an expensive dress that I plan on cutting up and giving the fabric to the poor."

"Well that's a good idea."

"And abundance of gold jewelry that we could melt down and find some other use for."

After we reached the bedchambers, leaving the guards outside, I continued to talk, even as I undressed and he undressed awkwardly. "But seriously, he's up to something. I doubt it's just flattery. You know what that means, don't you?"

"Um, no?"

"You're my husband. You have to stand up to him!"

"I have to stand up to what?"

"Tell him to stop! I'm your wife! You won't stand for this."

"I just... I don't know what to say."

"Say what I just told you to say."

"Zelda," he groaned. "How do you get into these things?"

"I'm not getting into them. It's not my fault that I'm Queen and a very valuable wife."

"Well, I trust you not to get into trouble," he said as he crawled into bed."

"Herkinson is much larger than I am," I told him as I crawled into bed with him.

"Should we add another guard as well as Lance? Perhaps Link-"

"No, no. Lance is fine. I'm not worried about my safety. I just feel like a public statement from you will get him to back off."

"I was afraid you would say that."

"We'll talk more about this tomorrow. It's late now. Goodnight." I turned away from him and got comfortable.

"Goodnight."

"Oh," I rolled back over to face him, "and if you ever get the urge to... you know...just wake me up. On second thought don't even wake me, you might lose it again. Just go ahead and do it."

"Well I'll probably have to wake you up."

"Okay, well goodnight."

"Goodnight."

* * *

"How are you today, Zelda?"

"Queen Zelda," I corrected him.

"I'll address you formally when you do the same," Herkison replied with a smile.

"Well, there's no debate over if my country exists or not," I laughed, picking up my wine glass before glaring at Lance. "Where is my husband?"

"I don't know," he replied unhelpfully.

"Well it appears that the King is late," Herkison said, folding his hands together at the table. He was diagonal to me. Normally the King would sit at the head of the table with me, in between Herkison and I, but of course he was late. I would much have preferred Herkison all the way at the OTHER end of the table. Herkison had this annoying habit of brushing his foot against mine. There was plenty of space. There was no need for his legs to be stretched out so much.

"It appears he is."

"Well that's shameful of him. If I had such a beautiful wife, I'd never keep her waiting."

"His Highness, the King has arrived!"

"Oh finally," I mumbled under my breath.

"Here I am!" exclaimed my husband.

"Here he is," I said with a fake smile, refusing to turn to look at him. One, I was angry with him for being late, two, I didn't want to turn my head any closer to Herkinson.

"You must be Lord Herkinson!"

"Your Majesty, it's an honor to meet you!"

Someone must have made for a handshake because I heard Felix say, "No touching the King."

"My apologies." I thought Felix was standing behind me, in between my husband and I, but his voice came from the other side of the King. Normally I wouldn't care who was standing just behind me. My husband had several guards.

Except this one smelled faintly like trees and when I cast my eyes down to the ground I thought I recognized the toes to those boots.

"Hey, Link!" Lance greeted warmly, confirming my worst fears.

I don't know how I could forget. I've always known that Link worked for my husband. Yes, it had been nine years, but I would hear my husband mention his name every once in a while, so I knew he had not been fired or anything. I was so surprised at myself. Why didn't I foresee this? Did I think my husband wouldn't use Link today? Maybe I thought I could simply ignore him, like I could do with the other guards, but the possibility of seeing Link had slipped my mind. Apparently that was what happened after I erased him from my memory for nine years.

I would just ignore him. Now was not the time to freak out and act silly. I had to deal with Herkinson, but for some reason, I could feel Link's presence like he was a fire, radiating heat and I completely blanked. My brain and body just stopped working.

"Is she okay?" I think Herkinson asked.

"She's not breathing."

Lance snapped his fingers. The sound sounded muffled. "Oh yea. Sometimes she just spaces out every once in a while. She's losing her mind." He suddenly cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted in my face.

My hands flew to my mouth as I screamed in fright.

"She's breathing now."

I slapped him in the face.

"Ow!"

"Annabell!" I cried out angrily as I stood up. Annabell sighed before we headed to the bathroom.

Lance had to make every situation worse! Why was it that he couldn't just be quiet, for once!? I made myself pee, and as soon as I was done I realized Lance had followed me to the bathroom door. "What are you doing here?"

"Link said I should watch you... I guess he was uncomfortable. Why are you glaring at me? Oh right, you hate when I take orders from Link."

"Why is he even here?"

Lance looked at me for a good 10 seconds. "Did you seriously forget he works for the King?"

"Doesn't he work part time or something? Or get days off?"

"No... Link's here every day. He's always been here every day. Wait. I thought you said you were over him."

"I am!"

Lance face split into a grin. "You're not over him... Nine years, and you're not over him."

"Shut up, Lance. We have to survive this meeting. No more embarrassing encounters. Link is just a bodyguard, nothing more." I begin walking back to the dining room. I could see Link clearly now, standing to the King's left, still as a statue, much like Felix, but the younger man was far more beautiful. He wasn't wearing green like I was so accustomed to seeing, but the usual garb of the guards, with the metal chest plate and chain mail. Of course it looked good on him, the warrior that he was. He hadn't grown fat, but I guess his job wouldn't have allowed it. In fact, he looked like he was in perfect shape. He wore no hat, and his blond hair was still some what of a mess.

He was older, but it was hard to pinpoint what about him that made him seem old. I studied the profile of his handsome face. It looked tired, and I guess that was why he looked older.

"Isn't he cute?" Lance asked, for I must have been staring for a while.

"Shut up! If you say one more word..."

I went back to my seat, Link taking a step back respectfully so I wouldn't brush against him. I was sort of trying to brush against him. Look how well he was behaving! He was probably a changed man by now. No more messing around.

"And that was also a hunting trip," my husband went on while Herkinson pretended to be interested.

"Now, that's a lot of hunting trips. You ever worry that you could get injured or sick on one of these trips?"

"Oh, no! I'm very well protected. I bet these boys could even sense a dangerous cold before it could get to me," he laughed.

I found Herkison's question strange. Obvious he wanted the King gone so he could marry me, but it seemed more than just wishful thinking on his part. I was getting the impression that maybe he would like to take some action on my husband's good health record.

A servant came to pour my husband some wine, and as he picked up the glass to drink, I put my hand on his arm. I didn't want to say anything. Saying that the wine may be poisoned was an awful rude thing to say, so instead I just giggled and gave the man a squeeze on the arm.

"Don't just blame your amazing immune system on the guards! That's just a natural thing for a strong man."

"Well," my husband blushed at the compliment. I scooted over closer to him so I could wrap my arms around his, leaning over so the wine glass was now on the other side of me. Never mind that now I was even closer to Link. I could feel his shadow looming directly over me. "I wouldn't say I was in perfect physical condition. I do have that one problem..."

"Honey," I said with clenched teeth. "Remember that we weren't going to discuss some things?"

I could feel Link reach for the wine glass now on the other side of me. He did it slowly and carefully, trying not to be noticed and trying not to touch me in the process.

"Oh right," my husband corrected. "The Queen is pregnant!" he cried. I sighed. Link almost dropped the glass. Herkinson mad a sour expression. "Well we think she's pregnant," my husband rambled. "Or will be in the foreseeable future. She obviously doesn't look pregnant now, but these things take time you know. Time to grow. Babies need time to grow."

I would have been appalled at the embarrassment of the conversation if it wasn't effectively distracting Herkinson from Link and Lance's whispered bickering.

"Taste it."

"What?"

"Taste it."

"You taste it."

"You're in charge of the King. You taste his wine."

"I'm not a poison expert. I don't know what it taste like."

"It's usually tasteless."

"Then I really don't know."

"Did you taste it? Give that to me. Holy shit!" And with that Herkinson's attention landed on the two body guards. "There's a piece of dirt in the King's glass!" Lance exclaimed. I covered my eyes with a hand. "I'm just gonna place this glass over here, so no one accidentally drinks out of it. Don't want anyone to get tetanus." Herkinson glared at Lance.

"Now, lets talk about this island that Lord Herkinson rules!" My husband clapped his hands together. "It's very exciting to have another country so close to us."

"Possible country close to us," I corrected.

"Yes, the Island of Herkinson lends its friendship to Hyrule. We're a small country so we wouldn't be all that much help in a truly tragic event, but we're always willing to lend a hand. If anything should trouble you, my dear," he reached his hand over the table, across my husband, to take mine. "Herkinson will be there for you."

I nudged my husband, for this was exactly what I was talking about with Herkinson's bold moves towards me.

"Oh right!" my husband put both of his hands on top of Herkinson's and mine. "With the power of friendship!"

Great heavens, kill me now.

Thankfully, Herkinson was just as uncomfortable with our hands clasped in 'friendship' and soon pulled away.

Meanwhile, both Link and Lance were still whispering to each other.

"How many wall guards are there usually?"

"About fifteen."

"Do you recognize all of them?"

"No one recognizes the guards."

"How about one o'clock, three and nine?"

"Three might be Dwaine."

"Thought ten o'clock was Dwaine."

"Is that Dwaine?"

"Guys," I said with clenched teeth and refusing to turn around in my seat. "Would you two be quiet? I don't want to-" suddenly Link grabbed the back of my chair and flung it, and me, in Lance's direction. I was able to let out a short shout before Link leapt in front of the King, landing on the table and shattering dish ware.

Someone yelled, "THERE'S AN ATTACK!" and I saw Link rip out a small dart from his left shoulder.

"One o'clock," he growled to Lance before leaping onto the table, and I don't mean he crawled onto the table. He jumped into the air and landed on it, running at full force to the guard that had thrown the dart, sword out.

All the other guards were in a disarray as they tried to figure out who was who. "Sorry Dwaine," I heard Lance say before he threw two knives, sending two men to the ground. Before I could do anything, Lance pushed me to the ground and under the table.

"Wait, the King!" I cried.

My husband lay limp in his chair and Felix was trying to find where he was hurt.

"Is he all right?!" I asked in a panic.

"I don't know! I can't find anything," replied Felix.

I sighed in relief. "He's fine. He's only fainted. Wait," I tried to find Link in the chaos of people. "Don't kill him. We need to question them."

"Aw, well that's too late. Link's already killed one o'clock." And I spotted Link, blood already dripping from his sword.

"STOP!" I screamed, my voice echoing in the large room, and everyone froze where they were, accustomed to obeying the strong orders of the Queen. "Okay," I said calmly. "Is any of our men dead?"

Everyone looked at each other, still unsure, but it didn't appear to be so.

"Is anyone, not of our men, not dead?" asked Lance. "If so, please raise your hand." Everyone stared at Lance in confusion.

"Lance, just be quiet." There was a noise of a door closing and both Link and I turned to Herkinson's seat to find him gone. Link caught my eye once before sprinting after him. "Link, wait!" and I went after him as well. "Felix, you're in charge of this!" I called over my shoulder and waving an arm at the guards.

"I'm pretty sure the Queen isn't suppose to run after the bad guy!" Lance called after me. "When the hell did you get so fast?" I heard him trip with a curse. "Oh, you kicked off your shoes, that's why."

"Link!" I called, barely able to see him turn down a different hall way. I finally found him beating the shit out of Herkinson's already bloody form. "Link, stop! He has to go through trial first. I know it looks bad now, but we can't just assume that he's behind all of this, even if he is!"

Link dropped the body to ground, eyes still murderous as he turned to me. "He was going to have the King killed so he could marry you and be King of Hyrule himself!"

"I know that's what it looks like..."

"No, I know it! That's why he keeps sending you gifts and spending so much time with you! He's trying to gain your affections!"

"How do you even know that?"

"I was watching-"

"You've been spying on me?!"

"Zelda, I know it's him behind the assassination attempt. Don't get all crazy just because I had to spy on you to find out."

"Link, Lance has the job to protect me, okay? You're suppose to be concentrating on the King, who right now isn't in the greatest state to be left. I can handle myself."

But instead of Link answering he collapsed, convulsing on the ground.

"LANCE!"

* * *

It took all night to rid the poison from Link's system. His overexertion had made it spread faster and even though we had antidotes at hand, it had already damaged some of his heart. He had several heart attacks during the course of the night and even after all the potions I made, and all the magic I did, I realized his heart would never be the same. I could stabilize him now, he would live, but the encounter had taken years off his life.

I guess I shouldn't have been surprise. Of course past incidents would come back to haunt Link in his old age. But it bothered me to know that Link might not live past the age of 55.

His family was notified. He would have to stay in the medical wing until he was stable. He still had a fever that I was afraid that could complicate things in his weakened state. He had to be watched constantly. I watch him constantly.

I watched his unconscious form try to sweat out the infection. I had a dish of cool water to try to help bring the fever down and to wash some of the sweat off his face. There were nurses that could be doing this. I didn't need to be here.

I moved a strand of sweat soaked hair from his forehead. My fingers lingering on the planes of his face. His mouth was parted from his heavy breathing.

I suddenly wanted to kiss him. I wanted to put my lips to his, taste the inside of his open mouth. It would be okay. He wouldn't remember it. Just one more time.

What was I thinking? He was a sick man right now. I couldn't believe that I just thought about taking advantage of his unconscious state.

And yet here I was, my face mere inches away from his. I decided to kiss his forehead instead, a much more innocent gesture. Maybe it would be enough for me.

I placed my lips on his heated skin. When I pulled away, his eyes opened and locked onto mine. They were the deepest blue I had ever seen. Had they always been that color? Had I forgotten in just nine years?

I got up.

"Zelda?"

I left the room.

"Wait."

No.

I felt my heart breaking for the billionth time, leaving him there. Avoiding him for nine years was a good plan while it lasted. Nine years of no distraction. Nine years of being okay.

But the image of him collapsing kept repeating itself in my head.

I had made it so that Link worked in the castle. Oh, all those years ago when he had come asking for a job, preferably not in the castle, I had found a way for him to be close. I had said I had no power to fire him, but in reality I just didn't want to. That was back when I was being selfish.

Now, knowing how well those nine years had gone, I knew I could live without him. Of course I could live without him, I had always lived that way. Everything had been going fine. There were a few problems that still occurred. My husband's medical condition still made it difficult to have an heir, but having Link around wouldn't have helped that situation. Herkinson had made an attack, but if Link hadn't been there, I think we could have been okay. If Felix was the one to jump in front of the King, that would have been alright. It would have been alright if Felix was the one with heart damage.

There I was going again being selfish! I just couldn't take it anymore. I needed to talk to my husband.

As soon as I found him I wrapped my arms around him tightly. He was momentarily surprised before he patted my back. "Now, now," he started. "I'm all right."

I was silent, pressing my face into my husband's neck.

"It's a shame, what happened to Link," and I knew it would be easy to convince my husband to let Link go, have him retire, never let him come back here again. "But all of this has also put a new perspective on life. I'm not going to live forever!"

I pushed away from him, eyes slightly bleary, "Honey?"

"We are going to put much more effort in this baby making business! We will try every night!"

"Every night?" I asked surprise.

"And we shall not rest until it's done!"

I actually laughed. And my husband took my hand, gave me an endearing look, and we went to bed.


	32. Chapter 32

_-Link_

In every one of my lifetimes, I've had a breakdown; a moment where I just completely loose it and go crazy. Sometimes, there would be multiple, but normally it only happened once. The reason for that is that often my mental breakdowns lead to something rather disastrous and had ended those particular lifetimes. It had happened so many times that I felt by now people should have expected it.

'Oh, Link's finally lost it again. Someone knock him over the head or something.'

But of course, people hadn't known me throughout the course of each lifetime, so when it happened, I guess it was a bit of a shock to them. You'd think Zelda would realize, but she had never really known me. Not really. She had never really bothered to.

I was the type of person that kept things to myself. I kept every feeling bottled up inside me. I was great at making them all fit, stuffing and smooshing the feeling until it was basically almost nothing. Plenty of room for more feelings to all be squished in there and out of the way. I was very good at this. I had so much practice doing it. But frankly, they just didn't all fit.

I wasn't allowed to go back to work for an entire month. That was not what sent me over the deep end to Crazyville; The little vacation was actually quite nice.

It wasn't Zelda's cold attitude, either – I was used to that. It didn't matter that I had just saved her husband's life. She still had to get upset over me watching her with Herkinson. It wasn't like I was misbehaving. I was acting like I should. _I_ wasn't going around and kissing ___her i_n her sleep. But it didn't matter. She could act as crazy at she wanted and try to blame it on me. It was cool.

It wasn't the fact that I practically died several times in the medical wing. Hell, I couldn't have cared any less if I lived or died. It hurt like a bitch. Maybe the pain would have made some men want to give up on life, but all that magic and the great care I was under made it hard to just give up. I was not very good at giving up, anyway. So I lived and that was fine.

Of course Mary did not take the whole ordeal very well. She brought Lana and the wagon to come pick me up. Mary was upset that she wasn't allowed to see me for the first few nights and took out her anger by yelling at the poor nurses. Lana was just excited to be out of the house and kept wandering off, which wasn't improving Mary's mood, for she had to keep chasing after her.

But it wasn't Mary's over-worrying that bothered me either.

"I can't believe that no one knows the guards enough to tell them apart! There are guards everywhere here! Everywhere you look there are guards! But are they safe people? Who's to know!" We walked down the hall ready to exit the castle. I was holding Lana's hand and had to repeatedly drag her, for she kept trying to touch the possible dangerous guards that lined the wall. "And this business of not letting me see you for the past two days!" She whirled around to face me. "You could have-"

I pulled Lana close to me and covered her ears with my hands.

"...died." Mary was able to quieten her voice slightly when she looked at Lana. Then she looked at me. I could see her shaking a little, just barely. I tried to give her a reassuring smile. She tried to smile back. "Oh, Link! You're such an idiot!" She flung her arms around me and hugged me tightly, squishing Lana a little in the process. She let go with a sigh and we continued to the wagon.

I wasn't allowed to drive.

"Mama says you saved the King and Queen and got sick doing it," Lana stated as I made myself comfortable next to her.

"Yes, your Daddy is a hero," Mary said after she had finished tying Epona to the back and fumbled with the reins to her own horse that pulled the wagon. I was a little surprised at the compliment, but I could hear the tiredness in her voice.

"Did you throw up on them?" Lana asked.

I laughed. "Not quite."

"Why did they try to hurt the King and Queen?" Lana asked.

"Well," I said, not quite sure how to answer the question. "Sometimes people just go bad and do some not so nice things."

"And then you stop them?"

"Well I try to."

"Do you beat them up and teach them a lesson?"

I laughed again, but more out of embarrassment, remembering when I went a little berserk rearranging Herkinson's face. "Yea, he's going to learn his lesson."

"I'm gonna do what you do when I get big. I'm gonna teach bad guys lessons."

I tugged on her hair.

* * *

In all honesty, the month off work was the best I'd had in a very long time. Mary wouldn't let me leave my bed for the first week, and as annoying as that was, Lana gave me frequent visits and made lots of drawings for me. Mary's mood improved with my being home, but she wouldn't let me help her around the house still. Typical Mary.

When I was allowed to leave my room, I followed Lana around. I taught her new things. Told her more stories.

I watched her ride around on Epona. She'd trot Epona over a small branch that Epona could have easily stepped over, but the horse jumped over it instead to humor the girl.

When she was done riding, we took the horse into the barn and I was going to attempt to feed the animals, but Mary was already doing it. "You're not supposed to be doing anything physical. Doctor's orders."

I made a face. Fuck doctor's orders. I had the fleeting thought of sneaking out here at night to do some pull ups or something, just to spite her. I swallowed the anger down and turned back to watch Lana.

As I watched her take care of Epona, Lana told me, "When I get bigger, I'm going to save people."

"Well, that's a very nice thing for you to do."

"And stop bad people," she said very seriously.

"You know," I told her. "Trying to stop bad people isn't always an easy thing."

"I can fight. I fight Tommy."

"What?" I narrowed my eyes at her. "What are you talking about?"

"Tommy."

"Who's Tommy?"

"Tommy's the Culivans' boy. You know, Jonh's son?" Mary answered over her shoulder as she poured the cows their grain.

"She's been seeing a boy?!"

"Link, he's seven."

"Seven years too old."

"Don't worry Daddy. I can beat him up!" Lana piped up.

"What? Lana, you can't go around beating people up!"

"But Daddy, he did something bad. He-" she looked at Mary once before whispering into my ear, "He said if he ever found a fairy, he would smoosh it!"

"Lana," I started, "You can't just beat people up because they say mean things. Most times, violence isn't the answer," and then I looked at Mary. "Did you know about this?"

"About what?" Mary called over her shoulder as she latched the gate that housed the cows.

"Lana fighting with the boy."

Mary sighed before she turned to me. "Ah, yea. I already had to go apologize to his parents. She clobbered him pretty good. I think you should stop teaching her how to use your weapons. It's setting a bad example."

"Me? I'm pretty sure she gets this from you!"

"Well good!" and I found myself suddenly grinning. Mary gave me a smirk before she left to return to the house.

The three of us ate dinner together, like a family, like life was perfect. And it really was. It was what any normal man could have ever wanted.

Except I wasn't normal. There was something wrong with me. There always had been, but sometimes I would forget. I would think I was happy and normal. Truth was, I was never happy. I just thought I was.

As the rest of the month dragged on, I realized I was becoming increasingly restless. Mary was used to doing the chores around the house without me, and even though Lana was excited about the new time spent with me, even she could get bored hanging with her dad after a while. Sometimes she'd disappear off with that Tom kid and make me go crazy looking for her.

I always had nightmares. Always. I never really slept for more than a few hours at a time during one particular night. I often found myself staring up at the ceiling, feeling lonely.

I turned to Mary, who was sleeping on her side, facing away from me. With Mary's improved mood, I realized I sort of wanted to be around her more. We did not have the perfect relationship as husband and wife. My past, though we never talked about, was always in between us. I always felt like she had never forgiven me, but then again I never had asked for her forgiveness.

I wrapped my arm around her. I either woke her up or she was already awake because she lifted a hand to touch mine. I pressed my face against her hair and drew my hand up to her shoulder, dragging it down to trace the outline of her body. I felt her muscles tense then. I hadn't made any sort of come on to her for years. I stopped my hand at her hips, gripping them and pulling her a little closer to me. My face found the skin of her neck and I kissed her there.

"Link..."

The sound was reassuring and I opened my mouth to her skin and pressed myself against her. She rolled over to face me.

"Link, what are you doing?" I answered her by pressing my mouth against hers, feeling her moan into my lips. I felt her body through her night dress. "Link," she said escaping my mouth. "The doctor said that you shouldn't do anything physical this month."

I laughed, nibbling her ear since she was doing a good job keeping her mouth away from me. "Who cares what the doctor thinks?" I said.

"I care. Link," she put a hand on my chest and gently pushed me away. "Your heart is weak."

"My heart is perfectly fine."

"Still, I'm not going to risk it," she said moving a little away from me to her side of the bed.

"Okay, fine," I said moving onto my back. "It's a pretty hot tonight," I continued, still very unwilling to go to sleep.

Mary made a noise in answer.

I took off my shirt, plopping back down on the bed so that the mattress disturbed her. "Can't see how you can sleep so well."

She ignored me.

"Okay, be that way, but if you ever change your mind," I folded my hands behind my head. "I'm only over here."

She opened an eye to glare at me. I grinned back at her. "Oh, now I can't sleep. Why do you have to be so tempting?"

"Because," I answered her.

She sat up. "I'm going to go sleep with Lana."

"What? Wait. Seriously?"

"Yes, Link. Seriously." She got up off the bed and left.

I knew what the rejection meant. I also knew it had nothing to do with my health. I really should have expected it, but for some reason I still felt surprised. I was so used to Mary just giving in. In fact, I was so confident in her appeal for me, anger aside, that the fact that she did reject me was a bit of a slap to the face. I continued staring up at the ceiling.

Fine.

But I still couldn't sleep and now I couldn't sleep with Lana because Mary was there. I was left with my nightmares and my insecurities.

* * *

In the morning I found myself distant, but that wasn't anything new to anybody. They knew I would break out of it eventually. I watched Mary with her daughter. The two were sitting outside in the grass, talking about who knew what. Mary was picking wild flowers and braiding them into Lana's hair.  
I realized how beautiful the two of them were. Lana was a brave, kind, intelligent child. Mary was a hard working, honest woman. The perfect family.  
And again, I felt like I didn't belong in it. I had no good qualities I could think of. Not real ones anyway. I wanted to. I wanted to belong here, but I simply couldn't forgive myself.

I knew deep down, Mary cared about me. I knew that Lana adored me and was very much Daddy's little girl. I knew that the both of them needed me, but sometimes I couldn't believe it. Sometimes I felt like running away.

Lana spotted me and ran over, hand extended with a flower in it. "Daddy! This is for you."

As I took the little flower from her hand, I knew all this. I was aware that my negative feelings were stupid. They were nothing. So I ignored them.

My vacation had been nice, but I also realized it was the reason why my doubts about my family had suddenly revealed themselves again. It was simply because I had nothing to do. I needed to be working. I needed to be pleasing. I needed to be listening and doing every whim of my sovereign. It was an odd sort of need to have. I tried to make it work with Lana, be Lana's and do everything for her, but I could tell as Lana grew older, her desire for independence was developing. I certainly didn't want to be too clingy. I wanted to be just the perfect amount of clingy, and working at the castle had ensured that.

What I really needed to be doing was rolling over and bending backwards for the King. It was very strange. Sometimes work at the castle would get so boring that I would be doing rather petty things for his Majesty, like picking up his pencil or helping him decide what color coat to wear. But even then, I waited eagerly for him to ask me for anything, like a dog anticipated his master's next order.

It was because I couldn't do it for Zelda. That was the real reason behind everything, but it didn't matter. I didn't matter how ridiculous a person I was. It was what I needed, and even though I had enjoyed my month's vacation with my family, I was ready to get back to work.

It was a system that I understood worked for me.

So of course that prissy bitch had to ruin that, too.

* * *

I hadn't noticed it right away. The mail, that is. There was a part of the counter that papers would just get thrown into a pile to be sorted through later. I was really only going through it out of boredom. Lana hadn't woken up yet and Mary was starting to make breakfast.

She noticed me going through it and said, "Oh you got something from the castle yesterday. It should be in there somewhere."

I found it, slightly annoyed that she hadn't told me as soon as it came. I opened it, and upon reading it, I felt every muscle and organ in my body set itself on fire. I almost couldn't finish reading the whole thing.

Mary must have noticed something wrong with me because she stopped what she was doing. "Link? Is everything alright?"

My shaking hands were making the paper rustle and I walked over to the table, slamming it down to make the noise stop. "They fired me." I said rather loudly, half wondering if the statement had woken up Lana.

"What?" Mary went over to the table to read the letter. I took my hand off of it and turned away, my mind racing as it tried to find a way to fix the problem – the problem of me finally losing it.

"Link, they didn't exactly fire you. They're retiring you. And look, they promise to take care of use financially. We're going to be okay."

"Retire me!? I'm not even 40 yet!"

"Link, you know your heart-"

"Is fine! I am physically fine! In fact, compared to all the other middle aged and older men that work there, I'm in the best shape I could ever be. They all have their own health problems! Not one of them is in perfect health! I saved his life and he just thinks he can..." and then it dawned on me. It wasn't the King that had fired me.

It was Zelda.

There was a little part of me that thought maybe I might regret standing on the side of the King close to her when I did it. I wasn't surprised to see her. I had been watching her for some time now. She had yet to see me, but of course I knew she hadn't been looking for me. She had forgotten about me easily. Part of me wondered if she would even care at all where I stood, if she would even recognize me.

I had to admit, I was quite pleased by how disgusted she seemed to be by my presence, staring at my feet as if I had just gotten mud all over her new skirt. I had not. I was very conscious of where my feet were in relation to her skirt.

Both she and I knew that it wasn't the time to be acting foolish, but I behaved much more maturely than she. Besides, I had a job to do.

I performed my duties seriously, not letting her presence hinder a single thing I did. Not really anyway. Maybe one could say I was a little angry, going after Herkinson, but truth be told, I would be angry with or without her face around.

It was her. She was the one that couldn't handle it. She was the one that couldn't stand seeing me. Even if I was behaving my best, she couldn't do so. And to make up for her weakness, she fired me.

I felt my lips twist into a bitter grin. Zelda. Was she purposely trying to ruin my life? It was like a game to her. She had to always win.

Well not this time.

I started going around the house, gathering my things as if I was going to go to work. I started off moving slowly, but the more I thought about it, the faster I wanted to get out of there, slamming things around in my anger. I never slammed things. Mary looked at me in alarm.

"Link, where are you going?"

"To the castle."

"Link, hold on-"

"They can't fire me!"

"Maybe you should wait. You're angry right now."

Of course her stated it just made it more so. I grabbed my sword.

"Why do you need that for?"

I didn't answer her, storming out of the house.

"Link! Wait!" She followed me to the barn where I hurriedly and violently saddled Epona. The mare pranced a bit at my rudeness, but I took no heed to it. "Link, please! Just calm down for a moment. You can go down to the castle when you're calmer. I'm sure something will work out! Link, please stop!"

I ignored her, wrestling the bit into Epona's mouth.

"Please! Don't do anything stupid! Link!" She placed a hand on my arm and I turned to look at her. She faltered when my gaze hit her. "Please Link. I know your probably don't care, but I love you! I can't let you do this."

I glared at her, gently pushed her away from me, and pulled Epona out of her stall, leaping on top of her and racing to the direction of the castle.

She was right. I didn't care. I had had it. Had it with all this bullshit. I had been playing Zelda's game since the beginning. Shitty life after shitty life, I had always done exactly what she asked. None of it made any sense! Why did things have to be this way? Who said? Her? The Goddesses?

I was tired of doing what I was supposed to. I was tired of following her orders, which were all ridiculous, I concluded. I couldn't help remembering all the times where she had made less than wise choices and I had followed her wholeheartedly. Was she really thinking she was doing this for mankind? For Hyrule? Or was she doing all this to torment me?

I didn't know, but I couldn't take it anymore. Nine years I had bottled up the pain, not letting anyone notice. I didn't want Lana to see, but I couldn't hold it anymore. I had to stop it. How? I was not thinking how. Not at that very instant, anyway. I didn't want to think how.

I had Epona in a hard gallop all the way to town, her huffing the entire time. I was surprised she actually made it, for she hadn't had any strenuous exercise in some time and it really was a miracle she didn't break a leg.

We galloped through town, people frantically trying to get out of our way. If they didn't, I could maneuver Epona just barely around them. She responded, willing, despite how crazy I was being. When we were about to reach the castle, I yelled for the doors to be opened. Of course they opened them for me. I was the King's favorite. It must have been something very important.

I half thought of getting off Epona and going inside, but I was moving too fast and thinking too slow, so me and the horse shot up the stairs that led to the castle, and skittered across the marble floor.

Now, the wall guards were very surprised to see the large horse slipping and scuffing up the halls. They were so surprised that they did nothing. It was really no shock that Herkinson's men got past them. The security here was shot. I was the best they ever had, and I was about to prove that point.

Epona clankered down the hall, servants screaming in fright. I wasn't very sure where I was going. Some of the doormen even opened doors for me. Apparently they hadn't realized that I had been fired and was not supposed to be riding my horse through the halls, one of these being the all-important throne room.

Ha! I could have killed the royal couple easily, but it didn't look like anyone was in the throne room, so I pointed Epona to the side entrance. I ran into more servants, who dropped platters of food and other dishes. It must have been breakfast time.

Someone was about to enter the dining room and Epona barged in through the doors, scaring the maid half to death.

The King was sitting at the end of the table looking like he was going to piss his pants. Next to him I noticed my replacement, a skinny looking kid who probably couldn't fight worth anything.

I pushed Epona forward, making her jump onto the table. She wasn't happy about it, but too nervous not to do what I told her. I trotted her to the long end of the huge table, breaking glasses and dishes all the way.

Did the King's guard do a thing? No.

"Where is she?" I asked darkly not even recognizing my own voice.

The King just stared up at me in horror, cowering in his chair while the rest of the guard looked dumbly at me.

Fine.

I would just find her myself. It was what I was best at. I was always good at finding Zelda.

I gave Epona a kick and she leaped off the table, landing and sliding on the floor. She had to scramble to keep herself upright, but soon we were out the door.

No one tried to stop us. With Epona's being a decent sized horse, they were much more concerned about not getting run over.

But when we got to the stairs Epona halted, refusing to go anymore, her body trembling nervously. I got off of her and started to run up the stairs myself.

At this point, only now, did anyone think to try to stop me. I ducked under the first guard's blow, pulling my sword out and hitting him in the stomach with my fist in the same motion. He double over and I knocked him the head with the flat of my blade. The next guy I blocked with my sword, easily disarmed him and kicked him in the side. Each man that came at me was dispatched in seconds. It was too easy. It didn't matter how many came at me. They didn't have a chance.

I didn't know exactly where Zelda was and I didn't know if she knew if I was coming for her. I just kept going, scanning each floor and level. I thought I'd check the library, but before I even got there, by chance I saw Lance and Zelda in the hallway.

Zelda knew. She took one look at me and started running in the other direction. Lance was a little slow on the uptake. "Link? What are you-" I hit him as hard as I could in the head, hoping it would keep him out of my way for the moment. I didn't need all that much time. Just a little.

I ran after Zelda who had been slowed down by a door and I grabbed the door handle before she could push it open, pulling it closed. She let out a scream when she realized she was caught, my other arm on the other side of her so she couldn't get away.

Now I had her.

My body was trembling so much with anger, I couldn't keep still. Now what, Link? What happens in this part of the plan? I didn't know. I blanked.

I slowly let out a breath, Zelda watching me very carefully, eyes calculating her next move. I didn't care what her next move was. I didn't care about anything anymore. I was all right now.

I was all right because I was with Zelda.

_Beta: Illusore_


	33. Chapter 33

_-Zelda_

I was not one to usually panic. I had felt something was wrong, but I didn't have enough time to come up with a plan or to even figure out _what exactly _was wrong. I had made it to the hallway, thinking that I should find a place to hide and think, but it was too late. He was already there.

My first thought was that it wasn't Link running down my hallway like a crazed madman, attacking the guards. It was some evil that had taken his form in order to get into the castle. Fear struck me and I turned to go in the other direction, breaking into a run when I realized Lance had fallen to the threat so easily. It would have been the perfect evil plot really; Link was my greatest weakness.

But as Link held the door shut from me, his whole being shaking violently, the desperate look on his face, I realized with horror that this was no evil trick. This was really Link. I also calmed down upon realizing it. I wasn't afraid of Link. I wasn't afraid of him even though he had just recently stormed my castle, disarmed my guards, and taken out my bodyguard.

I was afraid of what I would do.

I watched Link calm himself down, forcing himself to start breathing through his nose instead of the loud gasps that were escaping his mouth. I waited, deciding not to try to speak with him until he was a great deal calmer, or maybe even allowing him to speak first. I wasn't completely sure of the cause for his sudden storm. I could only assume it had something to do with his recent retirement. But with Link, it could be so much more than that, so I waited for him to speak.

He stilled himself. We were standing so close to each other I could feel his heat and smell the sweat that he had worked up, but we weren't touching; he kept our bodies millimeters apart. Very slowly, his face leaned closer to mine and I thought maybe he would whisper something to me, but instead, just barely, I could feel the skin of his lips brush against mine. It was so light, that I wasn't even sure if he meant to kiss me at all.

Then he was ripped away as some of the guards caught up to him and restrained his arms. Lance punched Link in the stomach even though Link had made no move to fight back. I screamed as I watched him crumble. He wasn't able to fall to the ground with the other guards holding his arms.

They dragged him away, and I was able to catch one blue eye through wild blond hair before he was out of sight.

"Sonuvabitch," Lance muttered as he wiped some blood off of his chin. He looked at me. "You okay?"

I did not answer, rooted into place, staring where I had last seen Link.

Lance gave me a look over to make sure I was physically fine. I could tell he wasn't so sure about me emotionally. "Are you going to have to go down to the medical wing?"

"No." I started to walk. "Let's go see how much damage he's done to the castle," I said with a sigh.

* * *

Out of all the scuff marks and broken dishes, the most damage by far was the condition of my poor husband. He had been in a state of shock upon seeing his favorite role model threaten him on a horse riding on his dining table. I had hoped to keep the whole incident from the King. In fact, I had hoped to keep the matter from as many people as possible, but it seemed like the whole castle had been a victim of Link's crazy outburst, and to make matters worse, the talk spread like wild fire and soon almost all of the town knew as well.

"And he was on his horse, on the table," my husband repeated. "Breaking all those fine dishes that belonged to your mother." He bit his trembling lip. "I just don't understand it."

I stroked his back. "It'll be okay. No one was seriously injured."

"But he's gone bonkers! Did I do something wrong?" He was practically in tears.

"No dear," And the more I found out about Link's attack on the castle, the angrier I got. Link couldn't spare the King his anger? It should have been obvious that the King had no part in this. Why did Link have to make a big scene? He could have easily had just walked into the castle and waited to blow up in front of me. I was his real problem.

I couldn't go see him right away. He was considered a dangerous threat and only after much convincing and talking did I squirm my way to the dungeon.

I opened the heavy door that lead to the dungeon loudly, putting enough strength into it that it banged loudly against the stone walls. Anyone around winced at the sound. There weren't many people down here. Herkinson was no longer there. His trial had been sometime ago.

It wasn't hard to find Link, the only prisoner. He looked up at me surprised, his expression mirroring everyone else that had watched me barge through the palace. I paused when I saw him. He was sitting on the dirty ground, wrists in chains hanging above his head. A shock of horror shot through me, for he look strangely similar to another time I saw him bound, a very long time ago. I shook my head to clear out the memory.

Link was watching me. His silence reminded me of my anger.

"WHAT THE HELL WHERE YOU THINKING?" I shouted, like my loudness would make Link see to reason.

Link's eyes narrowed before he grabbed the chain that held him, using it to pulling himself up a little from his slouching position. "I'm done," was all he said.

"Done with what?!"

"Just done."

I glared at him. "Why the hell are you here?"

Link laughed bitterly and the sound made me somewhat nervous. I felt like I was losing him somehow. I was always loosing Link. "Why do you even care?"

I opened my mouth to answer, but he cut me off.

"You're just mad about your floors being all scuffed up."

"No Link, I'm mad because you unnecessarily decide to take your little problem, and blow up in front of the entire castle, sending my poor husband into tears, injuring the guards and scaring the servants! What the hell's wrong with you?!"

"What the hell's right with me?"

I bit back the more nasty thing I was about to say and said something else. "Your reputation is totally shot right now, you know?"

"So what?"

"So what? It means more than a dozen witnesses saw you storm the castle, and at least five men saw you practically attack me!" Link stared intently back at me, yet still seemingly uncaring of his situation. I thought maybe my yelling would get through his thick head. "Do you know what the punishment is for attacking royalty?!"

Link shrugged. "Execution?"

I was horrified on how easily he said it, like it didn't matter.

"Well that's what I assume anyway," he said, adjusting his position slightly on what must have been a very uncomfortable floor. "That's what happened to Herkinson. Attacking the Queen, attacking the King, it's basically the same thing."

"Are you doing this on purpose?! Are you trying to get yourself killed?!"

"What does it matter?"

"What do you mean, 'what does is matter'?!"

"I've done everything already, okay? I got married! I had a kid! I did everything I was supposed to do, so why does it matter?!"

"There is no reason to kill yourself!" My heart was beating a million times a minute. I had wanted to protect him, but it didn't occur to me that I might have to protect him from himself. Knowing how difficult Link could be, I wasn't sure if I could do it. I could handle any other person, but it was so hard for me to control Link. Not when he was set on something.

"Zelda, I'm done! I'm done listening to you. I'm done living this life. There is nothing else I can do here. I'm miserable. I can't help it. I can't stop remembering things. I can't function if I'm t_his _miserable."

Hearing all this made me feel light headed. Like I was going to faint.

"The only time... I'm ever happy, is the first time I ever see you. Seeing you now, it hurts. Everything always hurts all the time. Whenever I get reborn, there's a small window when I don't remember anything. I don't remember anything and I see you, and I'm happy. I'm happy until something shitty happens and the whole thing starts all over again. But that... that small period of time, is what I want back."

"So you're going to kill yourself just so you can forget everything for a little while?"

"Yes, Zelda. I'm going to do that."

"Suicide is a cowardly thing to do," I said darkly. How dare he even think about it! How dare he abandon me!

I saw him grit his teeth at that. "Well I can't just deal with it like you can. I can't fucking sleep at night! Ever! It would be like finally getting some peace!"

"What about your family?!"

"They'll be alright."

"You can't do this. I won't let you do this. I'm the Queen!"

"Oh yea? You're gonna stop the law? Like you said, my reputation is shot."

"I'll explain to everyone that there was a misunderstanding. You never meant to hurt me."

"Did I not, Zelda!? What if I disagree?! What if I admit to everyone that I had come here to hurt you. What if I said I already had?! That I raped you and when you fired me to make sure it wouldn't happen again, I had come for you to show my revenge?!"

"Why would- They wouldn't believe you over the Queen! If such a story was true why would I deny it?"

"Because of you pride. The Queen was too ashamed that she let herself be raped that she didn't want anyone to know. That's why you simply had me fired."

I couldn't believe it. Link couldn't be doing this. Not my Link. I felt myself unprepared for a situation like this. "Wh-why would you..."

"I'm not going to be their toy anymore."

"Who's what?"

"This whole thing is stupid! Everything. Us getting reincarnated like this."

I didn't know what to say. I stood there shocked trying to figure out how to fix this problem. I didn't think this would ever happen. Link wouldn't give up on me. "I can give you your old job back if you really want it," but even as I said that I knew it would be near impossible to get the entire castle to trust Link again after this fiasco.

"I don't want it."

Maybe if I could reason with him with logic, he would calm down. "Link, even if you end this life, what difference will it make if you're only going to be reborn again?"

"I'll change it. I'll make it better."

"Why can't you make ___this_ life better?"

"Because I fucked it up!"

"No Link, we can still make this work. You can be okay."

"No, you don't understand."

"We can find you help, Link. I can fix everything that happened today, redeem your reputation, get you a new job if you like, have you talk to a professional-"

"No."

"Link, I know that's not what you might want to hear right now, but-"

"Shut the hell up, Zelda."

I was taken aback slightly before saying, "I'm not going to let you kill yourself!"

"Marry me."

"What?" I seriously thought I had misheard. The request was so random and out of place. He couldn't have said it. He would never say that.

"Marry me," he repeated just as seriously as he had the first time.

"Wha-wh-why would you-"

"I was gonna ask you before." His voice cracked. "I-I had a ring and everything. It probably doesn't exist anymore, but-"

"Link, you know very well I can't marry you."

"It's my fault. Don't you realize? Because I was too much of a coward to just ask you, so you were reborn as a princess."

And then it became clear to me that he wasn't talking about this lifetime. He was talking about the first time. I found myself even more shocked than I was when he asked me to marry him just now. "What do you mean?" I asked him cautiously.

"If I had just married you from the beginning, you wouldn't have been reborn into royalty. It wouldn't be like this."

I should have told him that marrying me then would not have fixed all of our problems. Not after Demise had place the curse on us. But my curiosity made me ask him anyway. "Why... didn't you ask me then?" It was something that had haunted me. The young girl I was at the time, I had been so certain that Link was my one and only. I thought he would be the one I would marry, but I was stupid to think that back then. I was stupid to think that the Goddess Hylia would be allowed such a thing.

Link looked away from me, suddenly very uncomfortable. "Well, because... I don't know. I didn't feel worthy." He lips twitch, embarrassed. "You were a Goddess."

"Of course you were worthy! The Goddesses chose you! I chose you! You saved me from Demise."

"But, Groose liked you, and I guess I felt-"

"I didn't like Groose."

"You married him."

My anger had returned, a product from my guilt. "HE CAME BACK! YOU WENT TO GODDESS KNOWS WHERE!"

"I wasn't ready, okay? I couldn't understand why you wanted to stay on the land after all that we had been through. I wanted to go back home!"

"Why didn't you say something?"

"I couldn't go back home without you! It wouldn't be home anymore. I just... I don't know. I had to convince myself that even though things were not going to ever be the same again, it could still be a good thing. But it was too late by then. You were already with Groose. I was kinda thinking you'd wait around for me, but I understand why you didn't. I mean, five years was a long time to make you wait for me. I don't know why I was so stupid."

"I thought..." I turned away from him. "I got the impression that you had found something better out there. I knew you loved flying and you weren't ready to give up the sky. I didn't think you would want to be weighed down by me. And Groose was just trying to help me out. He was lonely, and I was lonely. I hadn't really wanted to... I didn't know what else I should have done..." I had never known that Link was planning on coming back for me. I was a little surprised that he knew I stayed with Groose. He must had seen us, come to conclusions quickly and bolted.

"No, Zelda. I wanted to be with ___you__. _It was my fault. I'm sorry. I was stupid and because of that, we live each and every lifetime apart, getting punished for it over and over again."

"Link, marrying me then wouldn't stop us from getting reincarnated."

"Marry me now."

"Link," I said, trying to regain enough breath to speak. "I can't marry you now, or ever!"

"Why not? Why don't we just see what happens if we do? Maybe it'll stop everything."

"It's not going to stop everything. The curse is unrelated to that."

"How do you know?"

"Become I'm the bearer of the Triforce of Wisdom, the Sage of Time, the Queen of Hyrule, the Goddess Hylia-"

"Okay, whatever just shut up for a moment." He said rudely. "Fine, if you want to be finicky like that, what if we got married and we just didn't have any kids together?"

Was he stupid?! "WE HAVE TO-!"

"Shut up, Zelda and listen! I already have a daughter. Once you have an heir yourself, what's stopping you from just leaving with me?" His eyes were so serious, he made it sound like the easiest option ever.

"You mean just abandon my duties as Queen!?"

"Yes," he said calmly. "I'll wait. I'll wait until you have your heir. And then run away with me."

"We can't just do that, Link! Your family-"

"It's my decision to stay with them or not. If I get a divorce, which I should have gotten a long time ago, custody of Lana would most likely go to Mary anyway."

"I can't just stop being Queen!"

"Pretend you died. Escape with me. Let the King run the castle for awhile until your heir is old enough. Nothing evil's gonna happen at this point. We're done with this lifetime."

I threw my hands up. "No, Link. You don't know that. We can't do it. You may be free to do so, but I have a responsibility to this country and to this life." Like the King could even run the castle by himself! No, I would have to stay here.

"Then don't have an heir. Forget Hyrule. Be selfish for once and come with me."

"Link!" I couldn't comprehend him saying this. I couldn't say anything else.

"That a no then?"

"That's a no, Link!"

"Fine."

"Fine what?"

"Just fine. I expected as much anyway."

"Don't try to guilt trip me over this, Link. You're acting crazy."

"I'm not trying to make you feel guilty. I just figured I'd ask because I'm getting executed."

"You're not getting executed!"

Link snickered like this whole thing was funny.

"Link, I'm not letting you get executed."

"We'll see about that."

"I don't understand what's gotten into you."

"The problem is, Zelda, that everything I've been through is bullshit! I don't have to stay in this life anymore, following all your bullshit rules. I shouldn't have to. I should be done. Are you saying that it's not so? Are there more rules that I don't know about? I'm pretty sure that the whole thing, the Goddesses, the curse, everything is a lie, anyway."

"How can you dare say that?! Where the hell have you been throughout the thousands of years that we've saved the kingdom and others from Demise's curse? Did you forget what our fates are?!"

"Nah, I just don't think I believe in fate anymore."

"How can you stop believing in it when you've proven your destiny so many times before?"

"Because there's too many holes in your theory. I've been thinking about it, and things just don't add up. I think it's wrong."

"It's not a theory, it's fact!"

"Well,_ e____xcuuuse _me, Your Majesty. I wasn't aware that your opinion was always fact."

I gasped, utterly appalled. "Don't make me get the books," I warned.

"The ones that you wrote? The ones filled with your opinion?"

"I'm getting them!" I spun around out of the dungeon and continued my angry way to the library. "Can you believe him!?" I asked Lance.

"Actually, I really don't know what the two of you are talking about exactly."

"_Well ____excuuuse__ me, Your Majesty!" _I mocked under my breath. "I can't believe he said that to me!"

"Seriously? That's the part you're caught up on? I'm still stuck on the part where he thinks he can marry you because he stormed the freaking castle. ___And _hit me in the head."

"Once he realizes how unreasonable he's being, he'll let me help him get out of execution and everything will be how it should be."

* * *

When I returned to the dungeon, I was well prepared to answer any and all questions Link had in order to prove to him I was right. I told Lance to wait outside because this was a lot of important Triforce business and I didn't want him to ask me a million questions just because he was confused. Of course Lance gave me a skeptical, judging look about it.

Seeing Link for a second time in his cell, he appeared far more smug than anyone in his position should. "First off," Link started. "From what you're telling me, most of our history didn't even fucking happen, so I can't be sure that you're not making this all up because it isn't in the history books."

"You know this, Link, there are multiple timelines. Things got... messy in the Era of the Hero of Time. You know this." I felt my hands shake as I fussed around with the books. Those were dark times. So many mistakes I had made.

"You split it into threes."

"Yes."

"You fucked up time."

"Yes, Link, I fucked up time."

"So, let's say, us, you and me, fucked this particular time up. Either, we had a kid together or none at all. Won't we still be reborn again as long as our other selves in the other times have kids the right way?"

"You would condemn an entire history of Hyrule just for that?!"

"They still exist in time."

This was going to get complicated and explaining complicated things to Link was always a chore. That was why, often, it was just easier to not tell him, or tell him as little as possible. During this lifetime, the Mage was adamant about keeping the both of us educated. With no great evil to fight, there was nothing else to distract our raging hormones.

"That's not always true. Because of the way time split into three different directions, three different histories were made. Different events happened in each, either preventing or allowing different people to exist. It would be an entire other Hyrule that you would just let get destroyed! It probably doesn't make much of a difference to you, but I'm responsible for each of the different Hyrules that exist, not only as their ruler, but being the Goddess Hylia, it is my responsibility-"

"Okay, okay, sheesh. It was just a question."

"We have a responsibility to the people of Hyrule, no matter what time they live in."

"Okay." He heaved a sigh. I knew it was hard for Link to understand. It was always hard for him to understand. I wondered if he realized where in history he stood, or if he just felt thrown around, never really knowing, just doing what he was told.

"Any more questions?"

"How can I be reincarnated in multiple timelines? If I exist in one, how do I wind up in another?"

"Well it's not like you exist in more than one time at the same time. Time doesn't have to be one continuous line. We go back and forth whenever we are needed. I know the Mage has explained this to you, and I also know it's complicated. You can't think of it as: this happened and then, this happened, and then that. It's all happening at the same time, but you're only conscious at the times that you are needed. The spirit of the Hero will take his skills, from wherever in time he had been before, and manifest when needed."

Link's face told me he did not understand, just like he did not understand when we were teenagers. It wasn't important for him to know this, but I didn't want him to feel stupid or have things kept from him. Whatever it took to prevent him from doing something horrible, like killing himself, I would give it a try.

"I've talked to my past selves before. How can I do that if I'm the same person?"

"You're not one person, Link. You gain the the thoughts and memories of past heroes. You yourself haven't actually lived through each of their lives. You're different people with the same memories."

"I have those memories and feelings. I _was _those people. Don't pull that shit with me."

"Fine." I shook my head. "However you want to think of it. Obviously you have the memory of talking to your older self, and you have the memory of talking to your younger self," I said, trying to answer his question. "At the time, your older self had not yet been your younger self to have the memory, and your younger could not remember talking to your older self because your memories come back to you slowly. I know it's weird, but this is how it works. Do you have any real questions for me? Just because it's confusing doesn't mean you have the right to say it's not true."

"Yes. If I must be reincarnated through a descendant, how did I manage to keep going after that one time when Ganondorf killed me? You know the time I'm talking about. When you fucked up time."

I ignored the jab. In fact, I hardly heard it. All I could think of was remembering watching Ganon fling Link's lifeless body like a rag doll.

"Zelda? I still got reincarnated without a descendant. So why do I need one?"

I shook my head. "You did have a descendant," I said as a matter of fact. "I know you probably didn't even realize it when you were fooling around with that ranch girl."

Link gave me a blank look. I suddenly didn't feel sorry for him anymore.

"Come on, I know you can remember it if you try hard enough. You were sleeping in her barn. She came in to 'check up on you'."

"How would you even know that?" There was almost anger in his voice.

"I kept an eye on you the entire time I was Sheik. I was never too far away from you. I had to make sure you didn't go off and kill yourself before all the Sages could be awakened. But trust me, I didn't think _that _was going to happen. I mean, you were only a nine year old boy, but somehow you managed to figure out how to fuck a girl anyway."

"I wasn't a nine year old boy!" It looked like he tried to get up, but forgot he was chained where he was.

"Your mind frame was!"

"My mind frame hasn't been a nine year old boy in a very long time," he growled back at me, the whites in his eyes and teeth glinting in the low light. "And don't go judging me since that's what saved us in the long run."

"I'm not mad, I was just surprised," I lied.

"I didn't know she became pregnant."

"It happened twice."

Link looked up at me. "What?"

"It seems to me that not all your memories are fully intact, or things get confused in there, which is very understandable. The first time... you died," It was still so hard for me to say it, "we were all very upset, and Malon raised her son with a fond memory of you. When he was old enough he became a knight in honor of you. But of course, I didn't realize at the time of your death that you would be reincarnated, so I tried to change time. All I really managed to do was create another timeline, and did not change my own current time. The Sages and I had to do away with Ganon without you. When I was reincarnated again, instead of being reincarnated though my next descendent, I did go back in time, which would be the new timeline, and was reborn before Ganondorf came to my father. As I began to relive my life a second time, my memories were able to come back to me in time to know how to prevent your death. Malon again bore you the same child. I was able to send you back in time correctly, this time, creating yet another timeline. I had wanted to give you back your life, since you already died once, and then lost seven years. Malon, thinking you had abandoned her then, had not-so fond memories of you, and what happened to her son in that time I do not know. When I was reborn a third time in the same life, I feared that I had become stuck in time, but this time you remembered your older self and we prevented Ganondorf even before he could touch the Triforce. Since that's what the Goddesses had wanted us to do, they finally allowed us to be reborn as our descendants again, going through each timeline as we were needed."

"So the Goddesses saved your ass when you screwed up time."

"Link, you are also partly to blame. If you hadn't died-"

"But let's just say, you, or both of us," he corrected quickly. "Fuck it up again. The Goddesses will make sure that things go right. What if we just let ourselves fuck it up and let the Goddesses figure out a way to fix it?"

"The Goddesses chose us because they knew that we were worthy enough to at least ___try__ t_o do the right thing." I glared at Link. "That's why your memories don't come back all at once. They want to keep you innocent as long as possible so that your heart is pure, but you still have the skills and courage of past heroes so you're strong enough to complete your task. Explaining this to you now is kind of pointless since you are far from innocent anymore, and seem far from caring."

"I still don't know if I believe this."

"What?! Why?!"

"So we die, our memories slowly come back. It doesn't matter if somehow, I talk to my great ancestor's ghost who is also me, because either I haven't remembered talking to myself yet, or it hasn't happened yet for me to remember both times. Though I'm in multiple times simultaneously, I get the combined memories of all of me, which I can kinda understand just because of what the Four Sword does to me. I gain all their memories once I'm one again. But I remember you, there was a time when you were two different people at the same time. Don't try to deny one of them because I know. I always recognize you."

I laughed. "There have been plenty of times when you have not recognized me."

"I don't always associate you with the name, or the fact that you're the Princess. But I always feel like I've known you before." He paused. "You're always beautiful." He said as an after thought. Maybe he was trying to gain my good side again because I was quite peeved at him.

"Even when I was a man?"

"You _were _a feminine man."

I rolled my eyes with a huff. Of course compared to Malon Lon Lon, I still wouldn't have been feminine enough for Link. "Never mind that. Yes there was a time when I existed in two different bodies simultaneously in the same lifetime."

"Yea? And how did that happen?"

I sighed. This I had never told Link. I wondered if I was going to be able to tell him now. "There was a long period of time without a Hero. I don't know where the hell you were. Last I knew of you, you were on some boat. There had been other great people, but none were the true Hero, none being your descendant, so my father decided to hide the Triforce of Courage since you were not around to protect it. I... I had a brother at the time. I'm not very often born with other siblings, but I realize now, the Goddesses must have made some sort of reason for it..." I started to space out, remembering.

Link watched me for a moment, before he must have lost his patience. "Zelda?" he asked gently. "I know your brother tried to get the Tricfore from you and that you were put under a spell. You were sleeping for ages. How did you get reborn again through your descendant? When I came to rescue you, you had already been reborn from the line of your brother. Doesn't that mean we can be born without a direct descendant?"

"My brother loved me very much," I finally said.

Link stared back at me, confused since I hadn't really answered his question.

"Yes, I was born again through my brother's line, but you probably never noticed that he never married. Who the hell do you think the mother was?"

Link stared back at me, not knowing the answer. Of course he didn't know.

"He was a sick man, my brother. He was a sick man who loved me too much."

Link's face was now plastered with horror. "Zelda? How-"

"I must leave now. I have things to do. I shall return tomorrow." I left the dungeon. Too many feelings. Too many memories. So many mistakes. I had made so many mistakes. I had always given myself the excuse that I had been too young, but I had never been young. Not by mortal standards, anyway. Maybe this was the form of my punishment. The Goddesses had punished me by having my brother rape me at the age of 16. Or maybe they had done it to save me, to make sure I would be reborn. My father had never known. It had happened after his death. I only briefly knew I was pregnant right before the wizard placed the curse on me. Somehow my brother must have found out and saved the baby in my sleep, for when I woke, I was no longer with child, and my line lived on. It was strange. It was so strange. I never knew how my brother knew to save the child, but I was not to question the Goddesses. I was never to question them.

* * *

I returned the next morning much more composed. Link was where I had left him, of course. It hurt to see him this way, and I imagined his arms were in quite a deal of pain. They had been let down for him to eat, but it didn't seem that he had touched the porridge and they were back to being chained above his head again.

"Are you ready to come out of the dungeon?" I asked.

"No," answered Link. "In fact, I'm more certain then ever that I want to stop this whole thing."

"Stop the whole thing? Link, you better not endanger everything after all we and the Goddesses have done for this world."

"See, if the Goddesses really cared about you, they wouldn't have even made your brother exist in the first place, and you would never have been cursed." I was hoping Link would just forget about _that_.

"Link, we don't know what would have happened if things went that way."

"I think the Goddesses have been stringing us along since the beginning. I think they're just using us now. Maybe they started using us to stop evil, but now what? There's no evil! Not really anyway. They ran out of things for us to do so now they're just playing with us."

"You don't know that! There have been other times when I have been reborn during seemingly times of peace. I don't know where you are at these times. Sometimes, something happens and I have to deal with it myself, but wherever you are, you must be having a vacation or something. They're usually small things. Like criminals that I can easily deal with, much like how this lifetime seems to be going. But then in later lifetimes, bad things happen and we need one of your descendants again. We couldn't have gotten there though if we hadn't been reborn earlier to continue the line. So we can't throw everything away just because you think that it's over!"

"What if we had gotten married?"

"Link..."

"And we had multiple heirs. We wouldn't have to be merging the lines. Each heir would go on having more descendants and we will be reborn again as two separate people."

I paused for a moment. "Because. This is what the Mage said,"

"Aw, the Mage? Zelda..." Link rolled his head back. "I don't think he has his head screwed on right."

"Well what he said makes sense to me!" I said angrily. "As I think you've realized, no matter who your are reincarnated as... there has been, some sort of ... you have always been... Between us..."

"Love," Link finally answered, but that wasn't the word I had wanted to use.

"Whatever you want to call it. The Mage fears that _t____hat_" I waved my hand, still uncomfortable with using the word, 'love', "will never go away. And if we merge the lines, even if there are two heirs, _t____hat _won't go away."

I didn't think it was much possible to get Link any angrier. I should have known better. Especially with the poor way I was choosing to explain things.

"You're not making sense Zelda."

"Would you love me no matter what?!" I blurted out.

"Of course I would."

"Even if I was born as your sister?"

"What? What are you talking about?"

"If we were to merge the lines and become reincarnated by two heirs of the same line, we would be related. Would you still love me then?"

"I would love you, but in the way that a brother should."

"Would you?!"

"Zelda, I'm not like that! I wouldn't be attracted to you if you were my sister. I would see you as my sister first, before even remembering anything. It wouldn't be like that."

"Well, in one of our past lives it happened."

Link looked at me, incredulously.

"We were half siblings. I don't know if our parents' love was a reminisce of the bond _we _have, but they fell in love and did not have our memories to warn them not to. You didn't know. I knew you had a crush on me, but it was an innocent crush and nothing happened."

"When was this?!"

"You don't remember everything Link. It would be impossible for you. You have a mortal mind. Because of this, your brain subconsciously picks and chooses what to remember. You remember what is most important to you. Obviously, that particular time of us together wasn't as important to remember."

"Oh, so you're saying you remember everything? It sounds like you're making shit up!"

"No Link, even I don't know how many times we have been reincarnated, but because the Goddess Hylia and the Triforce of Wisdom reside inside me, I have a better recollection of things. I assume that there are only three timelines, but there is a possibility that there are more. I wouldn't be surprised if our time lines were wider than they are long. I know all of this is rather complicated, but you must trust me on this Link."

Link shook his head. "I can't. I just don't believe it. I've always trusted my gut, Zelda. It's what keep me alive. I don't know. Maybe I've just lost faith. But I don't trust the Goddesses anymore. And I don't think you do either."

"Of course I trust the Goddesses!"

Link gave me an thoughtful, even stare. "I don't think so. I wasn't the only one that broke the rules. You broke them with me. You've always been somewhat rebellious for a princess." He smiled. "I feel like that's a reason to trust you. I trust you over the Goddesses."

"Well if you don't trust the Goddesses, at least trust me when I tell you killing yourself is wrong."

"What about you, Zelda? I'm telling you now that I've thought plenty of times about killing myself, and leaving me some sort of reminder to kill myself again before I could produce and heir. I figure I might get reborn in another timeline, and it'll be quite a job, trying to end all the lines, but at least that's more of purpose then what I've been given here. Do you ever think about doing stuff like that? Ending everything?"

"No. I would never risk any of my people's safety and happiness, no matter what timeline."

"Then why haven't you had an heir yet?"

"My husband happens to have erectile dysfunction, which I'm sure he's told you."

Link looked at me unimpressed. "After 20 years of being married to that man, you should know by now that he's infertile."

"He is not. He has erectile dysfunction!"

Link ignored me. "By now, you should have realized that you need another man. I know the law isn't what's stopping you because you sure as hell didn't care about the law when you were fucking me. If you're afraid of hurting the King's feelings, you could have easily lied to him. You're trying to end the line, too."

"No I'm not! I'm doing all I can. When the Goddesses think I should become pregnant, I'll become pregnant."

Link blew from his lips and let out a short laugh. "I don't know who's more bat shit insane, you or the Mage. I think it might be you."

"You're the one being insane!" I hissed. "If you don't stop all this nonsense, I'll make him come done here you know! He was always better at talking about this stuff anyway. It's less personal to him so it's easier for him to decipher. He can explain it to you so it makes sense."

"He's still alive?" Link seemed a little horrified at the fact.

"Of course he is. He's only 92."

"Zelda... He's-"

"I know you dislike him Link, but that's because you don't like listening to the truth. Any more questions you have, you can ask him."

"I'm not talking to him. Zelda, he's off his rocker!"

"Link!" I scolded. "That man has been with the Royal Family for generations!"

"And what about me?! I've been with the Royal Family since before it was Royal!"

"He's the only one that still reads the old legends. He's even studied my own journals of stuff that hasn't even happened in this timeline. He's the most educated outsider I have ever met."

Link ignored me and glared at the wall.

"If you stop being so unreasonable, I won't send him down here. Let me get you out of this cell."

"No."

* * *

Arguing with Link was getting me nowhere, and other pressing matters I needed to deal with took me away from him. Everyone in the kingdom wanted to know what was happening to the Hero. Even without Link's false confession, rumors of him coming for my blood were all over the place. It didn't help, that somehow one of my maids must have spilled something about Link visiting me in my room years ago. Normally people would ignore such news from a gossipy maid, but it fit perfectly as a motive for Link's tyranny. I did my best to deny any such rumors, but the people chose to believe what they wanted to.

Even with most of the kingdom jumping on the, 'Link's a rapist' bandwagon, I was fairly confident that I could keep Link safe. They couldn't execute Link without my order to, and once the Kingdom realized how much effort I was giving to keep Link alive, they would surely realize that _I_ was the one telling the truth. Also, I could use the help of the Mage. He was a respected man, and I knew he would listen to reason. With him on my side, I was sure I could convince the Kingdom.

The Mage currently was on a spiritual journey, and locating him would be difficult. I started to write a letter. There were ways I knew the letter would reach him. Secret ways.

But there were two very large miscalculations I had made. One, I had never really thought of Link going through with his threat of his false confession. I couldn't image him saying such a thing, even if it was a lie. And two, the only one that had more power when it came to sentencing than I was my feeble husband. He never disagreed with me in any decision I had ever made. I did not expect that he would take matters into his own hands.

I was in the middle of writing my letter to the Mage with my husband walked in.

"Zelda," I looked up from my letter just before he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against his chest. Out of all the odd things that had happened, I found my husband holding me the strangest of them all. I stiffened, my hands with my pen held upright for I couldn't continue writing with the way he was holding me. I gave a quick look at Lance who was staring at the two of us like we were some unknown being. "I know. I know what happened to you," my husband said into the back of my head, gripping my hair like a lover might.

I heaved a sigh. I should have known that the rumors would reach my husband's ears eventually. I was annoyed, but not surprise that he would believe them. I opened my mouth to chide him for it when he spoke again.

"Link was interrogated this morning."

"What?"

"I went forward with it. I couldn't stand not knowing any longer and hearing what people were talking about... I had to find out the truth. Eventually he admitted to it. Things started to make sense. Why he always seemed to be looking for you, why you always seemed to be avoiding him... why sleeping with me in the beginning of our marriage, was hard for you."

"What did he say?!" But I already knew.

"Shh," he stoked me hair. "Thank the Goddesses that he didn't put you with child. I don't want you to have anything more to do with that man. It must be so painful for you. You hide it so well, but I won't let him hurt you anymore. I'm taking care of everything."

I tried to keep myself from hyperventilating. I knew if I just blurted out the whole truth, if I admitted to being in love with him, then I would be in trouble as well. I didn't know how my husband would take such news. I never thought the man could be angry over anything. Not really. But I knew he was angry now.

He thought the man that he had trusted had raped his wife. He held me possessively, and even though he was rocking me gently, I could feel the anger within him. The betrayal had giving him the balls to do something about it. If he knew that I had betrayed him too, he could have easily thrown me into the dungeon as well. I didn't think my husband would do such thing, but I wasn't sure.

So I kept quiet.

_Betaed by Illusore_


	34. Chapter 34

_-Link_

Pain. I always felt pain. I wondered what it would be like if I couldn't feel any pain at all. It was hard for me to imagine. Pain had always been a part of me. If pain wasn't there, I felt like I would just float away. Kind of like dying I guess. The pain was keeping me on the planet. Without it weighing me down, I'd just be gone. I'd be dead.

I wasn't afraid of dying. I had experienced it so many times before. When you get used to something, it doesn't become scary anymore. It was just like going numb, and falling asleep, which wasn't bad at all, but of course for me, pain always somehow found me again and brought me back down to the world.

Physically, I was hurting. The dungeon's interrogators did a number on me. I couldn't just blurt out my confession right away. I had to make it seem real. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I didn't know if I could pull it off. I was always terrible at lying, but it didn't matter. I realized that everyone had already made up their minds about me. I was just telling them what they wanted to hear. It didn't matter how obvious I could be when I lied, they still didn't see it. They saw what they wanted to.

They brought me back to my cell when they were happy with me. I swallowed down my own blood. It made me feel a little sick, since my stomach had been empty. I thought about throwing up, but it seemed like too much of a hassle. It was sort of agony sitting there and waiting. I kinda wished that they would just get it over with and kill me, or have Zelda come back down here and scream at me. One of those. Preferably Zelda. I'd rather see Zelda again than get executed. I guess there would still always be a small part of my brain that refused to want to die, the natural survival instinct that all living organisms had. My body didn't care if my spirit was reincarnated.

Since Zelda didn't come down, I imagined that she did. I pictured her getting angry with me and screaming. I liked it when she was angry. It meant she cared. I was glad someone still did, because I didn't care anymore. But it wasn't that she just cared about her kingdom, or kingdom_s_. I didn't believe she thought any more evil would happen in this lifetime. She herself said that the Goddesses had my memories come back slowly so I was pure of heart to fight the evil. I had my memories back. I was no longer pure of heart. I was too old. I knew Zelda knew that. She knew she didn't need me, but she still didn't want me to leave, still didn't want me to die. That feeling was slightly comforting in a weird way. I knew she cared about me, deep down, no matter how much she tried to hide it sometimes, and because I knew she cared about me, I trusted her. I trusted her to fix the mess I made for her. She was always good at fixing messes.

I knew it was selfish of me to give up and let her fix it, but I just didn't care anymore.

So I pictured her angry.

I was surprised that she even brought up Malon. I knew Zelda could get jealous. I was jealous too. I had a whole childhood of Groose beating me up and trying to prove how much of a loser I was, and then in the end, him still somehow got the girl. That was hard for me to accept, but since it had been my fault, I made myself accept it and after all the other times of never getting the girl, I accepted those too. I was angry about it, but I learned not to hate the other guy. It wasn't his fault.

But Zelda always hated the other woman, Malon in particular. I sort of assumed she hated Malon so much because she knew her. Malon was one of the girls she had met during her time as Sheik. The other girls that I had been with were usually after I had stopped spending time with Zelda. Now knowing that she _caught_ Malon and me, well that explained a lot.

I wouldn't say I fell in love with Malon. Not exactly. Well, maybe I did, but it wasn't the same thing. It would never compare to the extreme need I had for Zelda. If anything, it was only a mere curiosity, a strange hope. A hope for a friend to share my loneliness with, but because there was that need, things escalated.

There was no reason for Zelda to judge me. She may have said she didn't like Groose, but she still needed him. Just like I needed Malon. Just like I had needed Mary.

And Malon had been special. She had remembered.

_"The desert... that is where Ganondorf, the Evil King was born. If we go there, we might find something..."_

We might find something...

I had been tired and restless at the same time. I was too restless to stay in Kakariko. Impa's house was strange without her in it, so I left, heading in the direction of the desert. I knew I wouldn't make it there by nightfall. I was tired, but I was uncomfortable with sleeping out in the open field. I had encountered too many Floormasters and Wallmasters to fall asleep comfortably. I knew Navi was with me. I knew Epona was with me. But that wasn't enough, and when I rode by the great walls that protected the ranch, I found myself directing Epona to the entrance. She went forward eagerly, knowing that we were headed for home.

It was late and I didn't want to bother the Lon Lons. I tried to open the barn door soundlessly, eyeing the house the whole time, watching for a light. Once in, I shut the door behind me and Navi flew out of my hat to provide us light as I untacked Epona and settled her down in her old stall.

I thought I heard something creak up in the rafters, and jumped. Navi flew up to investigate. "Maybe it was just a raccoon," I whispered.

"We're too far away from the forest for it to be a raccoon."

Oh thanks Navi. That made me feel tons better. "Mouse?"

"It could have been a mouse," Navi agreed, but it was too big to be a mouse.

I brushed Epona, calming myself down as I listened to her munch hay. I could hear the rest of the animals either eating hay as well, or simply breathing in the quiet night. I liked those sounds.

Then I heard a noise behind me and I cried out, spinning around and jumping onto Epona.

Malon stood there in a night dress holding a lamp. She struck one very curved hip out as she put all of her weight on one leg. "Fairy Boy? What in all heavens are ya doing in my barn?"

"Malon!" I was suddenly embarrassed, feeling something that I didn't quite understand. My plan had been to stay here for the night, and leave early before any of the Lon Lons woke up. That was the plan, but that wasn't really my hope. I kinda wanted Malon to find me. I didn't want to be alone. I wasn't really alone. I had Navi. I had all the animals in the barn. That should have been enough, but I found myself wanting more companionship than that. I couldn't understand why at the time. I was also vaguely aware that I hadn't wanted Talon to find me either. I didn't know the reason for that. I liked Talon, too. "Epona was homesick," I answered.

"Epona was homesick?" she repeated, moving her lamp so she could get a better look at the horse who had finished her hay and was now dozing off. "Well the barn's always open for Epona. If she's really that homesick, you can leave her here. I'm sure you have lots of other important things to do besides standing around appeasing the horse."

"Well, ah-actually... can I sleep here?" I asked, hand on my head and face burning. I should have just asked before sneaking in.

"You can sleep in the barn, not the house."

I sighed in relief. "Thanks."

"When's the last time you've eaten?"

My stomach growled before I could say anything. She rolled her eyes. "I'll go make you some vegetable stew."

She left and I took off my gear, boots and tunic, falling into a mound of hay in my underclothes. "I'm never moving. Ever," I declared.

"We can't stay here long," Navi told me.

"I know, just for the night."

"You promise?" asked Navi. "Because sometimes you say things like that, but then we stay much longer, anyway. Especially when it has something to do with-

I heard Malon open the barn door again, and I covered Navi with my hands, afraid Malon would hear. Navi actually bit my skin for my rudeness.

"What's the big idea?! You're the one that wants to-" I was able to pull out an empty bottle and catch her in it. I had a lot of practice catching fairies.

"Want to what?" Malon asked, holding a bowl of soup.

Navi always did have a big mouth. "Eat," I said. "I want to eat. Navi's tired though, so she's going to sleep." Navi was flashing, quite upset inside the bottle. I stuffed the bottle into my hat and that blocked the flashing light slightly.

"Hmm," Malon watched the blinking hat for a moment, before settling down next to me. "It's hot," she said.

Of course I ignored her and stupidly bolted down the food. "Ahh! Hot!"

She gave me a glass of cold milk with a roll of her eyes.

After drinking I took a breath. "Thanks," I said.

"Gimme that!" She she took the bowl from me. "You really should know how to eat stew at your age." She took a spoonful, blew on it, and brought it up to my lips. I let her put it inside my mouth. It was a comforting feeling. She began to hum as she fed me, Epona's ears pricked up to the sound. Her songs reminded me of daylight, slow hot summer days. It made me forget that we were in a dark barn.

"So how long are you staying?" she asked after the stew was gone.

"Just for the night."

"Where are you going this time?" she asked in a murmur. I noticed that she moved a little so her shoulder brushed against mine. I didn't know why I was so aware of it. I kind of wanted to take her and just hold her until I fell asleep. It was something that I used to do with Saria when I was too scared of the dark.

"To the desert," I told her.

"You can't be serious? That's were the Gerudo come from!"

"I have to find someone," I told her. "If I'm going to stop Ganondorf, I have to go there." Malon stared off into space. I noticed an unexpected tear go down her face. "Hey," I said. "Don't cry!" I turned to her, clumsily wiping the tear off her cheek. Her skin was so much softer than mine. "You want me to stop Ganondorf, don't you?"

She turned her head a little away from me and my fingers on her cheek went into her hair. Her hair was so long. I decided I liked girls with long hair.

"No one can stop Ganondorf."

"Hey!" I turned my body so I was facing her more fully. "Who saved the ranch and put it back into the hands of its rightful owner?"

She cracked a smile, still trying to lean a little away from me. "You did, Fairy Boy."

"Right. Besides, I'm not doing it alone. I've got the Sages on my side. And Princess Zelda and Sheik."

"Are they going to the desert with you?"

"Well, no... but Navi will be with me, and Epona... I bet I'll find Sheik there, too, eventually."

Malon didn't say anything for a real long time, and I couldn't stand the silence, so I said. "I'll be alright, Malon."

"I wanted to give you something," she finally said.

"Yea? I always like getting stuff!"

She stared at me for a moment, her lips pursed together. I had wondered if her lips were as soft as the rest of her face.

"Okay, close your eyes," she said, a hint of the mischievous mirth in her eyes that didn't show as often as it used to.

I closed my eyes, expecting her to get up to get whatever it was she was going to give me, but instead I felt something press against my mouth. I opened my eyes. I couldn't help it. I unintentionally pulled away, not meaning to hurt her feelings. I saw the hurt look in her eyes and immediately pushed my lips back against hers. I did it forcefully and clumsily. I had never kissed a girl before.  
Malon pushed me off her with a laugh. "You're funny, Fairy Boy."

I hadn't tried to be funny.

She settled herself on my lap and I was finally able to wrap my arms around her. I held her like a teddy bear, feeling secure for the first time in a long time.

She giggled slightly at my embrace. "You know Fairy Boy, I had a dream about you."

"Yea?"

"In my dream, my father locked us out of the house. Which really isn't surprising, but then you were there. I was so upset because I needed to take the milk into town to sell before it went bad. You disappeared for a moment and all of sudden you were back, with our spare key in your hand, like magic."

I felt my whole body freeze. For some strange reason, I knew exactly what she was talking about. "I shrank down and went in through the Minish Portal."

"Oh did you now? Well it's my dream. You can't decide what you did."

"No. I really did. I... I accidentally broke your pot trying to get the spare key out."

Malon was very quiet, her voice barely audible. "The pot was broken.. How did you know...?"

"I remember it. It happened."

"Link, if it happened, _when_ did it happen?"

"I don't know. Maybe I dreamed it, too."

"So strange."

"Malon," I turned her around in my lap. "Even if it's just a dream, it must be important. People don't share dreams if it's unimportant. We are bound by some magical force."

"You're being silly,"

I took her face in my hand again because she kept trying to turn away from me, and in my most serious voice, I told her, "No, Malon. I'm not."

It was the first time I was ever able to make her blush. She could always make me blush.

"You. What do you think of me?"

"What?"

"How do you feel about me?"

"I feel like you're a good person," I answered, not sure why she even asked such a question.

"I don't want you to go to the desert," she said.

I laughed a little. "I don't really want to go to the desert either, but I have to."

"You don't have to do anything."

"No. They're things I have to do. It's my destiny."

"If you have to go, I guess I have to give you a reason to come back."

"There are reasons for me to come back," I reassured her. "Lon Lon Ranch has the best milk in all of Hyrule. And Epona's favorite oats are here. I can't find them like that anywhere-"

She kissed me again only this time is was much wetter than the first kiss. It startled me, really. Saria had given me kisses before. Mostly on the cheek, but sometimes on the corner of the mouth. They were rewards for not crying in front of Mido, or helping her pick berries. Kisses from girls were special things. I had hoped to get a kiss when I helped Princess Zelda find the Spiritual Stones, but things happened and I never saw her again. I had really hoped for that kiss.

Malon seemed to kiss me for no reason at all. I accepted it of course, because not accepting it would be rude, but I was new to this. I was unsure.

Malon laughed. "What's a matter Fairy Boy?" she asked.

"I, um..." Now I felt embarrassed for not really understanding what was going on.

"Do you not like me?"

"Of course I like you," I said.

"Do you like this?" She gave me a quick kiss on the lips.

"Yes," I told her.

She kissed me again, somehow managing to get her tongue in my mouth. I decided that I thought I liked that, too. She laid a hand on my chest, and for some reason it seemed to tickle. I had never been ticklish in that spot before. I found myself wanting to be closer, so I leaned into her. Her hand slipped under my shirt. The 'tickling' like feeling spread across my entire body, but I didn't mind it. I liked it.

Suddenly, somewhere in the barn, a bucket fell over. I grabbed onto Malon in fright. "What was that?!"

Malon tried to push me off her, but I was holding her tightly with my right arm. I searched for my sword with my left. "Calm down," Malon whispered, looking over my shoulder at the barn door. "It's not my dad, so it must have been a mouse."

"The mouse..." I said suspiciously. "I should probably go find it and make sure it isn't a threat to us."

"I don't need to be protected by mice."

"Are you sure, because-" Malon's fingers continued their away across my skin and brushed the seem of my pants. "You're sure." I answered my own question. "I can't breath very well anyway, I mean, when you do that, I have trouble breathing."

"Oh," she moved her hand away quickly, embarrassed. "Sorry."

I stared at her for a moment as she stared at something else. "You should go back to kissing me," I told her. "I like that."

She nodded her head once and I kissed her like she had kissed me. I wanted to touch her skin like she had touched mine, but her dress wouldn't allow me to, so I rubbed my hands over her arms, and eventually her legs. She inhaled a gasp as I ventured up further and I thought maybe, somehow, I had hurt her, but she didn't allow me to ask the question. Instead we kissed each other harder. I relied on instinct alone really. I did what felt good to me. When she took off my shirt, it only felt natural to have it gone. I felt her through her dress. Her body was so different than mine, but so soft.

Eventually, she pushed me off of her, "Hold your horses, Fairy Boy," she told me breathlessly. Why were we stopping? I wanted her to keep touching me.

"Do you love me?" she asked.

"Of course. I love a lot of people."

She frowned at me. "I'm being serious here. No fooling around!"

I stared at her, confused. I was having a hard time thinking, honestly. My pants had become uncomfortable and I was reluctant to investigate the problem more in front of her.

"Promise."

"I promise," I told her, but I didn't know what I was promising.

"You have to promise that you'll come back. That you'll go to the desert, find whoever you're looking for, defeat Ganondorf, come here and never leave me."

I nodded.

"You'll stay with me? You won't fall in love with some other girl?"

I briefly thought of Saria first, but I knew any sort of feelings I had for her would be impractical. I didn't belong in the Kokiri Village. Yet it wasn't Saria that made me hesitate for so long. It was the Princess Zelda that I was thinking of, a girl that I had only met once and was willing to throw my entire life away just for her. But why would she care? The Princess hadn't asked me to stay with her. She had wanted me to do much more important tasks then to simply be by her side. What Malon was asking seemed to be rather reasonable. I had known Malon longer. We liked each other. I should live with Malon. Besides, I would never be allowed to live in a place such as the Castle.

"Malon," I told her seriously. "When this is all over and done with, I have no other place _to_ go, but here. I'll come back to you."

"Then I'll love you 'til the end of time," she told me.

Like magic she pulled off her night dress. My eyes grew as large as dinner plates. I could feel my face burning, but it was nothing compared to what the rest of my body was feeling.

She came closer to me and whispered. "I'm a virgin."

"Yes," I told her, but I didn't really know what virgin meant. I thought it simply meant, "girl."

"So it's going to hurt me."

What?

"And, well, I'm assuming you haven't had much experience either, considering the way you kissed me." She laughed at me. "Don't be embarrassed. I think it's cute." She put a hand on my chest and gently pushed me down onto my back. I stared up at her in amazement. "Since we're both gonna suck we might as well suck together," and then slowly, she tugged down my pants.

* * *

The night had become a blur. I couldn't think clearly most of the time. Everything that Malon did seemed to be amazing. She taught me how to be a man. She was kind and patient, and even though I didn't know what I was doing, I tried. I didn't know a thing, but I tried and Malon smiled sweetly at me the entire time.

I had left well before dawn. I didn't want her waking up for I feared if what happened last night happened again, I would never want to leave Lon Lon Ranch. I had to deal with some things first, and then after I would return to Malon and be by her side, always.

But I didn't go back.

I had died.

That didn't mean I hadn't remembered, though. When I was reborn into a new life, I had somehow found her again. I didn't know at first. I didn't exactly have the memory until I saw her through the window of her home, chasing around a bunch of coccos running havoc inside. The memories hit me all at once, like multiple bricks being slammed into my face. It had happened that way to me a lot, these strange memories, so I had waited until I was more composed before I approached her.

I burst opened the door, not having the manners to knock. "Malon!"

She looked up from the cucco she was chasing and actually screamed at me. I couldn't really blame her. I realized I wasn't as composed as I thought I was. She calmed down after a moment when she realized I wasn't a monster "Uh, um, hello?"

"Do you remember me?"

She winced. "Sorry. I don't."

I felt my face fall.

"I really don't. I feel like I would remember if I met someone like you though. Um, please come in?" She laughed. "I'm sorry, there are cuccos everywhere! My dad, Talon went to climb Mount Cucco so I have to care for our hens, but there's so much I don't know..."

"You not knowing much about animals? Really?"

She blushed slightly. "Yep. They sort of terrify me actually. They keep squawking at me and flying away when I try to catch them."

"Don't run at them." I walked up to one gently. "It scares them." I picked up a cucco, holding her wings to her sides so she wouldn't flap around.

"Wow! How do you know so much about cuccos?"

"Well, I..." I didn't really know. Cuccos had just always been around. I figured everyone knew about them. "Actually, I do have this book." I placed the cucco down and pulled out a book that a man gave me. People were always giving me stuff.

"Say! Is that a Cuccodex?"

"That's what it says on the cover."

"That would be a big help..." She paused for a moment. "May I have it?"

I handed the book to her. "Sure. Keep it."

"Really?! Thank you! Take this!" She pulled something out of her pocket. "It wouldn't be fair to just take a whole book from you. I don't have any money, but I have this. It's a Lon Lon egg." She laughed. "These eggs are all the rage with cute girls."

"Ah, I'm not a girl."

"Give it to a cute girl, silly!" She pushed me to the door. "I'm going to study about cuccos, you go find a cute girl. Thank you for the book! I'm going to suggest not just walking into strangers homes though. It's a little creepy."

I thought maybe she would remember me later. Maybe it would just take her awhile, like it sometimes did for me, but she never did remember me.

You would think it wouldn't matter to me, that I would love her no matter if she remembered me or not. I could have easily made her fall in love with me again. Hell, I could have turned around right then and there and gave her that egg back, told her _she_ was a cute girl, but I didn't. It did matter to me. Maybe it was because I wasn't really in love with her. It also became clear later that Malon was in love with someone else, at least in that timeline.

I had just wanted to be with someone else who remembered. Everyone always died, or forgot me. Everyone I cared for always disappeared. I just wanted another person to be around with me. It became apparent that anyone I recognized from other lives, didn't remember me. No one remembered me except Zelda.

It made me think, did I only love Zelda because she remembered? No. That wasn't the reason. At least, that wasn't the whole reason. I would fall in love with her over and over without any sort of memory. In fact, it would actually be kind of nice if Zelda didn't remember every tiny little detail all the time. She wouldn't be as crazy, I thought. She sure wouldn't be mad at me as often.

When Zelda fucked up the timeline, and I relived the same life multiple times, it wasn't obvious to me. Well, at least not obvious enough for me to change anything I did. There was always a slight déjà vu, and I was always slightly aware of that promise I had made to Malon, but I hadn't realized that I had already done this before, not in the way Zelda had, anyway. She had known. She made sure that I killed Koume and Kotake. I hadn't wanted to. Up to that point, all the things I had killed were either animals or monsters. I still considered the Gerudo as human. Nabooru was human. I should have known better, though. Ganondorf was also human and I would have to kill him. The first time, I had let the two old women live. I had underestimated them and their power to make Ganon unbeatable.

Zelda had known though. She had made sure to warn me.

Now that I knew, it made sense to me. All the weird things that had happened back then, the reason for Zelda choosing to do what she did, it made sense. I have to admit though, Sheik did make me uncomfortable.

I hadn't known at the time that the large 'mouse' in the barn had been her, trying to scare us apart. I don't know how long she stayed for. I assumed not very long. Why would she want see _that_ happen? It was pretty bad.

And she had made sure to punish me for it as I snuck out of the barn with Epona. Navi had eventually fallen asleep in her bottle so I kept her in there. Usually she was able to notice Sheik before me and give me some sort of warning.

"What are doing?"

"Ahh!" Sheik was sitting on the barn roof. "Sheik! I'm going... to the desert. I figured-"

"Why aren't you there yet?"

"Because it's like a day's travel away from here?" Sheik never appreciated my sarcasm, not that I learned to not use it in front of him. A rock hit me in the face. I didn't even see him throw it. "Ow!"

He narrowed his eyes at me. "Loose something in the barn last night?"

"Nope, I don't think so. I got everything." I mounted Epona, missing his implied tone.

"I'll meet you at the Spirit Temple when you get there."

"Hey Sheik," I looked up at him. "If we're going to the same place why don't we go together?"

"Because I have other, faster ways of getting there than by a mere horse."

"Oh." I waited for Sheik to disappear in a puff of smoke like he usually did, but he didn't. "So, um... Are you gonna teleport?"

"I'm waiting for you to leave. I want to make sure you actually go to the desert."

"I'm going, I'm going."

I traveled through Hyrule Field on Epona. When Navi finally woke up, she was so mad at me for trapping her in a bottle, that she refused to talk to me the entire day. Bored, I decided to stop for lunch. It would be something to do.

Before I even got off Epona I heard, "What are you doing?"

"Break?"

"You're not at the desert yet."

I dismounted and spotted Sheik standing in the midst of some tall grass. "Have you been following me?"

"With good reason. How do I know you won't get distracted and go who knows where? Remember that time when you spent five hours at the shooting gallery-"

"Which means," I said totally not listening. "If you were just gonna follow me the whole way anyway, why didn't you accept my offer to just travel with me? Epona could surely hold both of us. Especially considering how small you are for a guy." I'm not really sure what hit me that time, but I was on the ground again from the force of it. Was it his foot? I didn't know. I thought he was too far away.

"Are you taking any of this seriously!? Ganondorf knows what you're up too. No matter what I say, he's started to suspect that you might be a problem. He's expecting you to go to the desert next, and all the Gerudo are on the look out for a young man in green! Fooling around-"

"Well if that's the case, then I'm going to have to make sure I eat all of my lunch to have enough energy to face all those angry women." I ignored the pain in my chest where Sheik hit me. I was used to Sheik's coldness.

"Lunch? That's what you're doing?"

"Yeah, what did you think I was stopping for?"

"I thought your fairy had found something 'interesting' and you were going to disappear down some mysterious hole for a couple of days."

"Hey!" Navi zipped out of my hat. "I've been able to find some pretty valuable stuff for Link, and if it wasn't for me then-"

"Navi," I said gently. "You're mad at me, remember? Not Sheik. Maybe you should go back into the hat."

"I'm not going back into the hat!" She shot into Sheik's face who didn't flinch at the fairies attempt to be scary. "I don't trust you..." she said. "Link, I don't trust him."

"I know, Navi."

"I'm going back in the hat," and I sighed in relief as Navi left to go sulk just like I had hoped she would.

"So," I said, sitting down and pulling out some left over vegetable stew. "... are you hungry, Sheik?"

Before he could answer his stomach rumbled loudly. Ah, that's why he was so grumpy today. Sheik was hungry.

"Malon made it, and trust me, she's the best cook I've ever met, and I've met a lot of people."

"I don't want Malon's stew," he answered.

"Aw, why not?"

"I don't know. I don't know if I trust her. When Talon was thrown out of the ranch did you notice that she was allowed to stay?" Even though Sheik had denied my request, he did plop himself right beside me.

"Well, um. I don't know. Malon's just a girl. I don't really think she's much of a threat."

"Very well. Feel as you like."

"And I've been eating this stew and I'm still fine."

"Well then I guess my over-caution was false."

I poured some stew into a bowl and handed it over to him. He took it, but instead of eating, he only stared at it. I watched him, knowing that he would have to pull down the cowl to eat. I didn't know why I wanted to see his face so badly. Maybe it was because I knew that I wasn't supposed to see it.

"Aren't you going to eat?" he asked me.

"Oh, yeah." I turned my attention back to my own meal. "So how bad are these Gerudos?"

"Well, they'll probably tear you limb from limb."

"Ha, no problem. Besides, I've never really been afraid of a bunch of girls before."

"You're so naive, Hero. I know you have grown seven years, but I fear your mind has not reached the maturity to succeed in defeating Ganondorf."

"Everybody seems to think that," I said, eating my cold stew. It was still good cold, and I didn't burn myself this time. "But I have you around to help me out when things get really bad. I know it's you that hides all those potions for me to find, and you fixed me up a few times as well. You make me as good as new."

"I can't keep saving your ass all the time."

"I know. When this is all over and done with, I promise, I'll pay you back."

"Ridding the land of Ganondorf is all you need to do to pay me back."

"Well, yea, but I want to do something for just you. Something more personal." I looked away shyly. "I don't want to sound mushy or anything, but you're the only guy my age that I know. We don't always get along, and Navi doesn't trust you, but I think you're a good guy. You're one of my best friends. So, let me do something for you. I don't care how silly it is."

Sheik suddenly rested his head against my shoulder. It should have been a friendly gesture. If anyone of my other friends had done that to me, it wouldn't have seemed out of place at all, but it was just so unlike Sheik to be close. Sheik was always as far away as the moon. "Thanks," he finally said. "...for calling me your friend. I know I haven't been very friendly to you."

"Sure thing."

"But nothing I would ask of you would be fair."

"Why? What do you mean?"

He paused before saying, "Don't go back to Malon."

"W-why?" I had already made the promise to return to her, and I couldn't break her promise to keep another. I had made her's first.  
Sheik lifted his head. "It's personal. I don't have to tell you the reason. I understand if you do. But that would have been my request, so there is nothing else you could do for me."

"Do... you like her?"

"No!" He pulled a little away from me. "I thought it was quite obvious that I don't like her."

Well I didn't know. I found people outside the Korkiri Forest even more complicated than normal. If Sheik did like Malon, I wondered how I would feel if I let them be together. I sort of accepted the idea of Mido having Saria, but I didn't know if I liked the idea of Sheik having Malon. Part of me was afraid I'd wind up losing both of them.

"Forget I said anything."

"But-"

"Instead, do something else for me."

I got excited. "What?"

"Close your eyes. I can't eat when you stare at me."

"Oh, okay." Bummer. I should have known better that I to think I could trick Sheik into showing his face to me.

But instead of hearing him eat, I felt his chin on my shoulder once again. His breath hit my skin and I realized he must have pulled down his cowl. "Don't open your eyes," he scolded for I was about to do just that. "I shouldn't ask anything of you," he murmured in a low voice. It was giving me an odd chill, yet I felt our closeness was too warm at the same time. "You've already done so much for all of us. Temping my own selfishness..." He laughed gently. "You're too kind of a boy." And then I thought he kissed me, right underneath my ear. I wasn't sure until I felt him press his lips against me again a second time, and then a third.

Maybe Malon kissing me startled me, but I wasn't surprised. I had thought of it happening in the back of my mind before. I always would think about it. Maybe I had big head, helping out pretty girls, thinking about kissing them. I didn't always feel this way. Only after I woke up from that seven year nap.

But Sheik wasn't a pretty girl. He was a guy. I wouldn't say that I minded. I just didn't think that kind of thing happened. I didn't understand the outside world. Mido had once told me that boys never kissed other boys.

"Sheik, wha-" I opened my eyes. I couldn't help it. But it didn't matter. He was gone, his cold stew untouched on the ground next to me.

I let out a sigh of relief, kind of glad that he was gone. I don't know how I felt about the fact that sometimes, Sheik could leave me in a worse state than Malon.

Part of me wondered, when this was all over, if I would go back to Malon even if Sheik tried to stop me. If Sheik told me to go with him, and never come back, would I go? I wasn't sure. I was confused.

I didn't think, in any of my lifetimes, I had ever been so confused. Leave it to Zelda to do that to me. Even as a man, I had these strange feelings for her. I wondered if she had known that too, known that her teasing would drive me crazy and confused. Probably.

Anything for me to leave Malon.

Actually, now that I started thinking about it, that was probably the whole reason why Zelda sent me back in time a second time. To relive my childhood? That was a load of bull. She probably already knew how many times I had already lived my childhood, and how many times I would relive my childhood. It wasn't like they were even great childhoods to begin with. She simply did not want me to go off and marry Malon.

What a bitch.

I was so completely in love with her. I was in love with her crazy, manipulative, bull shitted ways. I would always love her, all of her flaws. I couldn't stop. I was pretty sure I was a masochist. I mean, it was kind of obvious.

But the fact that Malon had once remembered something from another timeline made me feel like she was still important. Obviously she was getting reincarnated, and if we shared a child together, somewhere in our descendants, we split off so that she could have her own body again. Maybe the fact that she didn't remember, didn't love me anymore, was to prevent us from merging our descendants too frequently. It should mean that I could be with Zelda, that the lines would fix themselves in order to find a way to work.

But I would have to admit, that it was hard picturing myself no longer in love with Zelda, even if I was finally allowed to be with her, and reborn again with her. I wasn't sure if it was something I could satisfy just like that. I wasn't sure if I even wanted it to.

In all truth, the feelings I had for Malon never really disappeared either. I still missed her. I still looked for her. When I couldn't find the person I was looking for, I tended to gravitate to other people that looked like them, as if I could trick myself into believing they were still with me.

I guess I hoped, if I could finally have Zelda, all evil would stop and our purposes would be fulfilled. No more reincarnating. We would finally be at peace. Until then, I was going to keep chasing after her. It was all I knew how to do.

The dungeon door opened. It was a little shameful, how excited I got, but it wasn't Zelda. It was the last person I wanted to see. I'd rather have Ganondorf walk in and drop kick my face than see who I saw.

He came in slowly. Stick, footstep, footstep, stick, footstep, footstep. In came a little bald old man dressed in a deep red robe. He was smaller than I remembered him. Why was I ever afraid of this man before?

The old man stopped to take a breather before he turned in my direction, blinking his eyes. "Link, is that you? Can't see a blasted thing down here." He clapped his hands together and an orb of light flew out of his sleeve. At first I thought it was a fairy, but I was stupid to think that.

He shook his head and clicked his tongue when he finally got a good look at me. "What have you done to yourself now?"

After the initial shock of seeing that he was actually here, staring at him uncomprehendingly, I took my gaze off of him and stared at the stone ground instead.

"Don't try ignoring me, Link. If you talk to me, you'll feel much better."

Ha, like that had ever happened before.

He came closer to the cell, before lowering himself down slowly to the floor with a creak. "Come on now, release at me."

"What are you talking about?"

"What you're doing Link, is holding everything inside of you. It works great for you, don't get me wrong, but then you become somewhat of a ticking bomb and BOOM, you start riding horses on dinning room tables. Not very mature, Link."

I glared at the stone ground.

"So come on now. What is bothering you? What has gotten you so upset?"

Everything. I was upset about everything.

"Don't you want to return to your loving family? Don't you want to be happy again?"

"I was never happy," I muttered quietly.

"Now you're just being over dramatic."

I didn't answer.

"This is hard for you Link. It always has been hard. I know. But put your mind in a better place. Think about how lucky you are! This has been an easy life for you. No Ganon, no Vaati, no any major other threat. You haven't had to kill a single person."

Yea, pity.

"You hate killing."

Did I?

"The both of you, you and Zelda are having good lives. Doesn't it make you happy that Zelda's happy?"

Then I started laughing. I started laughing like a maniac. I probably could have scared small children with the way I was sounding, but the Mage gave me a serious steady stare. I finished my laughing. "Zelda's ecstatic," I said. "You can tell how happy she is in the way that she's somehow managed to avoid her husband for 20 years."

"Yes, I am aware of that, but one problem at a time. Right now, we're talking about you."

"There's nothing to talk about."

"You're unhappy. Why is that?"

"I'm not going to keep getting played!" I screamed.

"You're not getting played," the Mage replied calmly.

"If the Goddesses have the whole thing figured out, then what's the point?! Who's idea was it to be this way!? Why couldn't it... Why do I have to feel this way? I mean, I don't know if it's normal because no one else has ever gone through what I've gone through."

Why did I feel this way?

Why did I love Zelda so much? How could I have loved her this much for so long? I loved her when she tormented me, loved her when she gave me what I wanted. I loved her for controlling me, and I loved her when she submitted. I loved her for her wisdom and when she was stupid. It didn't matter what body she was in, it didn't matter whether she was an innocent princess or a cold queen. Her jealousy, her lack of care for me, it didn't matter what she gave me. It didn't matter what time or place or who we where.

Sure, I believed in love. But practically, love shouldn't last this long. Eventually, people fall out of love. Especially since I was never with her, never allowed her. I should have learned to fall in love with other people, but I couldn't find the same feelings. It was so desperate, so unhealthy. If Zelda told me to kill myself, I would do it without a second thought. I trusted her even when she was selfish and wrong. I didn't love her like a normal person. I worshiped her like a goddess. Who else would have done all the things that I had done for her? I would leave my home, my family, my life just to please her, go into unknown dangerous lands, risking my body and life for her, fighting and killing for her, for no reason. She didn't have to do anything for me. I just did it. There was something wrong with me. And it was hurting. I was hurting.

"Link?" the Mage said gently.

I was breathing very fast all of a sudden. I thought my heart would just keep beating at hyper speed until it burst. I would die, then be reborn to this insane love again, do something totally crazy before dying and repeat the process.

"If you have a better understanding of yourself, you'll have better control. You can start thinking more clearly."

"I love her," I choked, because it was the only thing I understood. I didn't know why I loved her. I just did.

"No, Link. You don't."

For the first time since he came down here, the Mage wasn't making sense, so of course now he had my attention. He rubbed his wrinkly forehead.

"I didn't want to have to tell you this, but in lifetimes like this, it becomes a problem. You, as the Hero, are subjected to face the most evil of terrors in our world. The journey is always difficult, terrifying and often painful. Since Hyrule's fate is repeatedly entrusted into the hands of a young boy who has no attachment to the outside world, the Goddesses have to make you _want_ to save it."

And this was the reason why I hated this man. He wasn't a bad man. He was a good man. But he told me things, and I always just felt cold and empty after he was done talking. The warm tone in his voice was a lie. His words were always like ice.

"They don't want some big hot shot to come to the rescue to improve their reputation or for some other selfish reason. The most selfless reason to rescue Hyrule is for someone else. For the people. But they needed to give you one person to focus on. Without that focus, you would have given up. You would never succeed without that drive to save that person. And the best person for you to focus on, is our Zelda. She is reincarnated with you, so you should always have a person to focus on. She is the princess, the Queen, the future of the country so you would feel like you needed to save her, regardless of whether you remembered having any relationship with her or not. The Goddesses made it feel like you loved her in order for you to save Hyrule. It's not going to go away Link, so you're going to have to control it, know what it is, and ignore it so you can go back to living your life."

"So Zelda only loves me because-"

"No Link." The old man sighed. "Zelda doesn't need that like you do. She was originally a goddess, so her desire to protect her people is similar to the instincts of a mother wanting to protect her children. Lust, or love or anything else that seems to have been produced by your relationship with her, is her mortal body's response. It's hard for anyone not to like someone when that person shows so much devotion to them. But also, it's easier for her..." He rolled his eyes before muttering "... most of the time ..." I wondered if he knew about what Zelda and I had done in this lifetime. "... to make sure that your relationship doesn't get carried away. If it wasn't for her humanly needs, it shouldn't affect her at all, but I guess the Goddesses gave her all the human emotions to ensure she would have feelings and not become emotionless in front of the people, which is how her true goddess self would appear."

"W-what does that mean?"

"It means, Link, that you only love Zelda because the Goddesses made you that way. And Zelda, the true Zelda, has no emotional feelings for you or anyone."

"No," I said. "That's not true."

"I know you're not going to handle that answer very well, but if you can convince yourself it's the truth, and that there is no reason for you to be in that cell, you'll realize you belong with your family."

I refused to say another word, refusing to believe or even listen to anything else the Mage said.

Shitty old man. When was he going to leave me alone? It was just another theory filled with holes. HA! Zelda not being in love with me? Of course she loved me.

Of course she did.

_Betaed by Illusore_


	35. Chapter 35

An: Sorry guys. It has been awhile. I think it's just stress. I feel too unsettled to write. I hate new things. I want life to go back to a boring routine.

_-Zelda_

I waited anxiously in the hallway for the Mage to come out of the dungeon. I was acting worse than the maids. I wanted to listening, but the heavy doors prevented any sound from the dungeon to escape.

When the Mage came out of the dungeon, I blurted out, "Is he coming out?!" Of course, it wasn't like we could just walk Link out of the dungeon in broad daylight in front of everyone. We would need a plan, but knowing Link would cooperate was all I needed to know.

The Mage gave me a grim look before shaking his head. "He needs time," he said, as he came closer to Lance and I. He turned his disapproving gaze at me. "What did you do to him?" he asked.

I took a step back, somehow intimated by my old teacher. "W-what do you mean?"

"You've got him thinking that your in love with him!"

"Oh," I felt my face turn bright red. I couldn't remember the last time I had blushed so madly. "Well, you know... how sometimes things get..."

"I am very disappointed in you, Your Majesty."

"Nothing's happened in awhile!"

"You knew the consequences for your actions!" and I sure wasn't expecting it, but he smacked me over the head with his walking stick.

"Whoa, whoa," Lance stepped in between us. "Senior citizen," he addressed the Mage, giving the small man a look over. "It's against my responsibilities to let you discipline your student that way. Please go in a more, nonviolent direction, that's preferably humiliating."

"I see you're bodyguard has not changed." The Mage turned to me. "You have to convince Link that you don't have feelings for him. He's here for you." He pointed his stick at me.

"But, how-" I stammered.

"Tell him!"

"I don't think I can."

The Mage sighed. "I know you're stronger than this, Zelda. If you don't think you can make Link believe you, make it true so you're not lying. As for your husband-"

"Did you take a look at him?" I was glad that we were now changing the subject.

"He's not sterile. I tested him."

I sighed in relief.

"What he_ is_ though, is terrified of you. What do you do to these men?!"

I put a hand over my chest. "Nothing!"

"For the Three's sakes!" The Mage fumbled around in his pockets. "I never heard of you having this sort of problem in the past. Here. Take this."

He placed a turkey baster in my hands. "What is... Why the... shouldn't you be giving this to my husband?" I tried to hide it a little from Lance, hoping that he wouldn't know the kitchen tool's new purpose.

"Oh no, Dear. You'll be the one using it. Leave you husband to do his job alone."

Of course Lance was too smart. He pointed at me and laughed. "HA! You have to fuck yourself with a turkey baster."

"Shut up!" I swung it at him.

"AH! Don't touch me with it!"

* * *

I sat in front of my vanity, trying to practice my neutral face in the mirror. I tried not to lie outright if I didn't have to, but keeping the truth from people was something I could be rather good at. I held many secrets. It was always safer the less people knew about things, especially potential dangerous people.

I didn't like lying or keeping things from Link, but I would have to admit, I did it all the time. I never told him I loved him, but of course, my actions around him told him other wise. Link wasn't stupid. He knew me too well. I couldn't just waltz down there and say, 'Sorry, but you must have misunderstood our relationship. I don't love you.'

"I don't love you," I said out loud to my reflection. Of course it was easy to say it to the bitch in the mirror.

I couldn't simply say I felt nothing for Link at all. No one would buy that. I could blame my bad behavior on lust alone. Yes, I could try that. I could tell him that I had lusted over him, but I was over that now. I hadn't had any sort of inappropriate behavior with him for years now. It should be pretty obvious that I was over him.

Of course I still cared about him, too... like a friend or a brother or something.

This was not going to be easy. The Mage had told me to make myself believe I no longer loved Link. I had been trying to pretend not to for as long as I could remember, but actually convincing myself a lie was another matter indeed. How could I?

I tried to think of all of Link's bad qualities, finding none. What did I hate about him? That he continued to leave me and not show his face for years to come? Yet he always came back to me. He was always so loyal and devoted and kind and beautiful and good-No. Stop that. I shouldn't think about him at all, I decided. I should pretend that I was talking to someone else entirely.

And of course denying the affections of any other man was easy. I was married after all. I was royalty, I couldn't just go galavanting with some man. How silly that would be!

But of course none of that had ever stopped me before, not when it had been Link. Now there was no more room for silliness. I needed to produce an heir, and all this nonsense that Link had created was distracting. I looked over at the appalling turkey baster that I had left on the vanity table. Maybe, if I told Link I was already with child, he'd realize I didn't need all this, leave me alone and go home. Maybe if I could convince him I was happy without him, happy to be a mother without him, in love with my child and no longer cared for the lust I had over him, he would believe me.

I did not love Link. I lusted over him. I was lonely and needed his companionship. With my child, I would no longer be lonely. I could replace any admiration I had for Link with that of my beautiful unborn child. I placed a hand over my stomach. I normally gave birth to girls. I loved little girls, but I was sort of hoping for a change this time. Maybe a boy, a boy like Link.

It might have seemed rather absurd to purposely have myself fall in love with a child that did not even exist yet. You couldn't purposely fall in love with anything, but I was a wonderful actress. I had been playing parts for millions of years, and had millions of experiences, millions of feelings. I could picture this child. I have had so many before, and it was easy for me to create this little boy.

I had always been very protective of all my children. All the people were my children and Link was just one of them, one of them that was causing a problem for my other son. Sometimes, you had to isolate yourself to fix a problem. You mustn't have any feelings that would sway you into making possibly the wrong decision.

Unfeeling.

Now. I was going to send Link home. I stood, picking up my crown and placing it on my head. The Queen's power was nothing compared to a power of a goddess, but there was no need for godly powers here. I was dealing with mortals, my subjects, and they would obey me.

I went to the dungeon, walking calmly and slowly, gathering my strength. As I entered the cold dank space, I felt an uncomfortable chill that I didn't have the last two times I had rushed down here to talk to Link. I felt my stomach turning, too. It did not matter. I did not deserve to be comfortable. I had worked to do.

Link lifted his head eagerly when he realized it was me. "Zelda?" and his voice sounded too hopeful, too desperate. "Zelda, have you been talking to the Mage recently? He's been saying some shit, that just doesn't make sense. I don't believe him, so I guess it doesn't really matter, but I was sort of wondering if maybe you believed him."

I stared at Link with my Queen face and said nothing. Truly, I wasn't sure what he was talking about, but I couldn't leave my Queen mind frame to ask questions.

"You don't... you don't think that I only love you because the Goddesses made it so, do you?"

I had never thought of that. The Mage had never told me such a theory, but I showed no shock to the news. I did not react to the feelings that such a thing would give me. I made myself feel nothing. I didn't even really think about the statement that much at all. The Mage must have told Link. I didn't care to think if the Mage said it, whether if that meant that it was true or not. If the Mage told Link, the Mage wanted Link to believe it, whether it was true or otherwise.

"It would make lots of sense, wouldn't you think so?" I did not think of how much it made sense. I couldn't. I glossed over it in my mind and it seemed perfect. How else could a mortal man love me so long? But I did not think long enough to feel.

I saw Link's eyes widen slightly at me with hurt, but then I saw them narrow in anger. "Oh, so that is what you think, is it? You think I'm cursed? Like I'm fucking diseased?!"

I merely raised one eyebrow at his anger, as if his anger was shameful of him and I was indifferent. "Considering your interest in me has always seemed to exceed your duty and that of a normal love a subject should have for his queen, then yes, maybe some divine help has happened."

"That's fucking bull shit! Then explain yourself to me? Is your love for me divine?"

"No-"

"No. No it's not. At least that's what the Mage said. He said that it's impossible for you to love me because you don't have mortal feelings."

Now, I wasn't going to go on defending myself and claiming I had feelings when I was trying to do just the opposite, so I rolled my eyes at him and deemed the whole thing nonsensical. "Link," I said calmly. "_I_ have not put you into that cell, now have I? What are you trying to prove here?"

"Well, I thought it was pretty obvious."

"Well, it is not, Link."

He looked at me steadily, confidently. "What we're doing is wrong. If we're unhappy, it can't be right!"

"I'm sorry Link, but are you _happy_ in that cell?"

"Yes," he growled back at me. I glared at him. "No why? Because I get to see you all distraught. It proves to me that I'm right. You're not happy with our situation."

"I think you have misunderstood my emotions. I am unhappy about the situation, but only the one that you have caused. I am unhappy about all the excess problems you are causing me, and are always causing me, but besides for the little temper tantrum you are having, I am perfectly content."

"That's your problem, Zelda. You're just going to ignore that you're unhappy because you think that's the right thing to do."

"I am not ignoring the problem! I never ignore problems. Your'e mistake is what the actual problem is. I was perfectly happy before you stormed my castle."

"You're lying."

"The Herkinson problem was finally gone. I was getting progress with my husband's relationship with me. The kingdom's in relative peace, still at the peak of a booming era. It's the perfect time for me to raise an heir. It would have been a perfect time to raise an heir ten years ago, or even twenty years ago, but you keep coming back, causing me problems!"

"So you're blaming you're lack of heir all on my presence? You know that has nothing to do with it. If anything, you have prolonged it yourself because you feel the same way as I."

"I feel the same way as you?"

"Yes."

I shook my head. "No, Link. I don't."

"You don't? You're going to stand there and tell me that you don't love me?"

Link was so sure of himself, that I think he said the statement as a rhetorical question. I said nothing for a long while. Neither did Link. He was too busy thinking, thinking on the best way of what he wanted to say next.

I caught his eye, which is something he normally did first. "I don't... love you," I made myself say. At first I wasn't sure if I made it sound convincing enough, but my voice was low and serious, though a bit slow. I wanted him to understand.

He just stared back at me for a long time, with no reaction at all.

I wasn't sure if he understood, so I said it again. "I'm not in love with you, Link. Not anymore."

"Not anymore?"

"I don't know if ever, okay? With all of our encounters, I do not know if I ever felt love. I have never said it, never felt it."

And that's when I saw Link pale. I realized I had hit a sore spot. A spot that had unintentionally made, but made all the same and I was going to use it.

Link had never questioned it. All the times he had confessed his feelings for me, I never said anything back. Sometimes I could feel him waiting for it, or wondering, but he never pushed it. He always accepted what he had, whatever that might have been. I realized now that he took my silences as my own confessions. He truly had thought I had loved him.

"You..." He swallowed, not knowing how to finish the sentence.

"I don't really have anything else to say."

"Why?" he asked. "Why did you... Just why?"

"Link," I told him calmly. "We were young. We're going to be bound to each other if we like it or not. I care for you as a person. With everything you've done, of course I care, but that doesn't mean I'm in love with you."

"But-"

"You're all I've known. I've always felt comfortable around you. Being forced to marry men continuously older than me, I craved the feeling of being with a younger man. You were all that I knew. Maybe I used you out of lust, but-"

He scoffed. "Lust?"

"But, you seemed to see me out of lust as well, and it went beyond our control. You must admit that the dangerousness of our relationship is what made it so attractive in the first place."

"It was always more than just lust for me. I could-I could have any other girl. I could love anyone else, who was just as beautiful, just as smart, just as... dangerous or alluring or whatever you want to call it. It would have been a hell of a lot easier, too, but I just can't-"

"You can Link. You-"

"No I fucking can't, Zelda!" He screamed at me. I tried to keep my knees from buckling. "Is this just like a fling for you that you can easily forget about? You're admitting it's a little bit harder than that, because you know I'm also your best friend, but to me it's nothing like that. It's so way beyond any normal relationship. To me, it's not like, or I had sex with my best friend, and now things are gonna be weird, or, whoops, I accidentally had a fling with my Queen, that's not going to go well. It's _NOTHING_ like that. I've _always _loved you... You were never my friend. You were never my princess, my queen or my goddess. You were my entire world. There was no Hyrule for me. There wasn't anything. You were my country. You were my home. I did everything I did in _your_ name!"

Link-"

"You think I enjoy this?! Do you think I enjoy getting myself killed for you, or never having a normal life, or keeping any of my friends or family?! You don't even have a clue! You somehow managed to separate yourself from every human life and don't feel when they're gone. Maybe the Mage was right! You are inhuman!"

I just stare back at Link as he went on, accepting everything he said as I watched him break. I've been bitched out before by many high and important men, and I had never cared about what they had to say before. I had to briefly remind myself that I didn't care what Link had to say either.

"It seems like you're finally starting to come to your senses," I said.

"Senses?! Like I even had any _senses_ to begin with!"

"Start getting some sense, then Link!" I commanded. "If what the Mage says is true or not, the fact of the matter is still the same. You need to accept the fact that the emotions you are feeling are wrong and must be ignored."

"Zelda," Link said desperately. "Can you talk to me honestly. Tell me how you feel, not what you think. Please, I just need to know that for sure."

"I am being honest."

"I need to talk to the true Zelda, not Queen Zelda."

"Zelda..." I said, and the name suddenly sounded foreign to me. "The name Zelda is only a name that mortals give me. I am as I am. This is me. The true me may very well be Hylia, which I'm certain you will not want to talk to."

"Please, I know you're hiding your true feelings. Tell me right now how to feel about me? Would you care if I died tomorrow?"

"I think that it's weak of you, but you would only be reborn so it would not effect our duties."

"Yea, what if I wasn't reborn?"

"I suppose a new hero would have to be chosen. Maybe it should be. This one's weak."

I could visibly see Link breathing, heavy enough to show, but not loud enough to hear. "Good. Maybe I want out."

"That's not what you want, Link," I said calmly. So calm that my statement and wishes became fact to both him and I. "You would not give up your role to someone else. It is your purpose. It is all you have left." I did not panic because I knew I was right.

He became angry because he also knew I was right. "Shut up! Like you know anything about purpose. You've never felt purposeless in your entire existence! You don't know what it's like to have nothing!"

I said nothing. I did not know. I wasn't Link. I didn't know what it was like to be him.

He wasn't looking at me, his glare on the dirty stone floor. He looked up once and almost seemed to wince when he saw I was still standing there. "Maybe you should just leave and go back to ruling your fucking country!" Now I could hear his breath coming out in ragged gasps, like he was too angry to breathe. He was so upset, I worried he could choke himself on it.

I did leave. I didn't want to see him choke. I feared if I stayed too long, he would die. Die right there of no real logical cause.

Step one, the hardest, was finished. Link's pain should revert to some form of anger to help protect himself. I didn't know if it was enough for him to hate me. It was hard to imagine him hating anyone, but I hoped, in the time he spent in that cell, her would learn to hate me enough to want to leave the castle. Eventually he would heal, but the lesson he was taught, I hopped it left something of and emotional scar to keep this from ever happening again. Link would always remember with feelings first.

Let this feeling be remembered, I prayed.


End file.
